Uncle Henry
by 2queens1prince
Summary: lilacmermaid AU prompt: When Elizabeth meets Henry, he is raising his niece.
1. Chapter 1

AN: Here's my latest AU prompt turned multi-chapter fic. I managed to get a few chapters ahead on this one, so I can post a new chapter a day for at least a few days. For anyone that may be interested, I haven't given up on Hiking or Evolution. Both are giving me fits right now and in order to keep writing something, I'm doing other prompts. Hiking only has 2-3 more chapters as it stands right now. Evolution is always evolving, so who knows?

I want to say thank you to everyone who takes the time to review. I catch myself being lazy and not reviewing, which is crazy, because I know much those reviews mean to the writers. I'm trying to do better though.

Anyway, this is a more obscure lilacmermaid prompt that I've been thinking about for quite a while. Hopefully I found a way to make it believable. Enjoy and please review.

Madam Secretary Prompt: When Elizabeth first met Henry, he was already a 'parent' - raising one of his nieces or nephews while still in school. (Or vice versa).

Chapter 1

Gathering a handful of blond locks, Elizabeth Adams ran her fingers through her hair until she had all of it scooped up in her hand. She quickly wrapped a ponytail holder around it, twisting it a couple times and then pulled the ends of her hair to tighten it. She took a deep breath and blew it out before she checked her shoelaces. Planting her foot on the nearby park bench, she tied one of the laces again and then took off at a moderate pace. After a few hundred yards, she picked it up, trying to run off her anger.

Her thoughts went back to the phone call she received the previous hour, just after her last class of the week, and her blood continued to boil. Will, Elizabeth's brother, had once again decided to ditch her. The two had made plans to go to a baseball game months ago and she even bought a third ticket when Will said he needed to bring a friend. Now, two weeks before the game, he called to say that he received a better offer. Well, that wasn't really what he said, but that was definitely how Elizabeth read it.

Elizabeth lengthened her stride and pushed herself harder. It was just like Will to drop her at the last minute. She supposed it was showing some level of maturity that he actually called ahead of time. A year ago, he would have left her hanging in front of the stadium waiting. She was about two miles into her run and her anger had started to lose its edge. She tried to steady her breathing, even though she had been running harder than usual.

Slowly, she backed off her pace and ended up back at a jog while she caught her breath. Elizabeth was still in her own world, the sounds of her feet hitting the concrete and her heart still beating hard in her ears when she was suddenly pulled from her thoughts when someone yelled, "Watch out!" In a split second, she turned to her left to follow the voice and there was a crack and an explosion of pain simultaneously.

Elizabeth stumbled forward, unable to open her eyes as the pain radiated from the bridge of her nose, clamping her eyes shut tightly. She could feel the blood coming before it ever left her nose. Acting quickly, she slipped her arm out of her sweatshirt and shoved it against her nose. Feeling the grass now under her feet, she sat down. She barely hit the grass when she heard a child screaming. The screams were coming toward her, and she hoped that she wasn't about to get tackled.

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry," the girl was wailing. "Are you okay? Henry! She's bleeding. I'm so sorry." The girl was shrieking again, and Elizabeth felt a child's hand on her thigh. She covered it with her own.

"I'll be fine. Can you please stop yelling?" Elizabeth said.

"I'm sor-"

"Bethie. Honey, move back a little and give her some room. I'm so sorry. Where did you get hit?"

"Between the eyes. I think my nose has mostly stopped bleeding." She pulled the sweatshirt back a bit.

"Ouch!" Henry muttered. "That had to have hurt. Do you live close? We can walk you home. I'm afraid your eyes may swell shut unless you get some ice on that quickly."

"Uh. I live in MacFarland Hall. On the other side of the park. I think I'm fine. I can make it by myself."

"I'm sure you think you can make it, but you haven't seen yourself. We'll walk with you and make sure you get home safely. Do you think anything's broken?"

"Nah, I fell off my horse once and broke my nose. It doesn't feel like it's broken. It will probably just be a bad bruise."

"If you're lucky, that's all it will be. Bethie has quite the arm."

"Henry, I said I was sorry." she said, tears springing to her eyes again.

"I forgive you. I understand it was an accident." Elizabeth said.

"Bethie. Will you run over and get our things and we'll walk, uh, what's your name?" he asked, turning to Elizabeth.

"Elizabeth. Adams," she said.

"No way." the girl screamed, "My name's Elizabeth too. Well, it's actually Mary Elizabeth, but people call me all sorts of things."

Elizabeth winced at Bethie's loud voice. But she turned to the little girl and whispered, "You want to know something really cool? My name is actually Elizabeth Mary and people call me all sorts of things too." Bethie grinned widely. "Can you do me a favor?" Bethie nodded. "Can you talk softly? My head really hurts."

The girl's eyes went wide. "I'm sorry," she whispered.

"It's alright," Elizabeth said and squeezed her hand. Henry touched Bethie's shoulder and pointed in the direction of their things and the little girl nodded and trotted off.

"I'm Henry McCord, by the way. We can take you home. We live just past MacFarland in Quincy."

Elizabeth stood and closed her eyes against the dizziness she felt. Henry sensed she was unsteady on her feet and took her by the elbow. "Are you sure you don't want to get checked out? You could have a concussion."

"We'll see how I feel when I get home. I'm probably fine. Most of the pain has subsided already," she said, embracing the white lie.

They arrived at the door of the dorm and Elizabeth thanked them and had the intention of sending them on their way, but Bethie wouldn't hear of it. "Henry, we can't just leave her." She turned her attention to Elizabeth, "What floor do you live on?"

"I live on the 6th floor." Elizabeth started, but Bethie cut her off.

"We aren't letting her walk up six floors by herself. Just look at her."

"Uh thanks," Elizabeth said, smirking. "How old are you?"

"Henry says I'm seven going on seventeen."

Elizabeth laughed and shuddered at the pain it caused. "I think Henry's correct. But, if it will make you happy, you can walk me upstairs."

"Thank you," Bethie said. When they made it to Elizabeth's room, Bethie tugged Elizabeth's arm so she would bend closer. "I'm really sorry I hit you with my ball. And, if you happen to forgive me, you should give Henry a call. He needs to get out more."

"Bethie!" Henry growled, and then rubbed his hand over his face and sighed. "Thanks for that." Looking at Elizabeth, he said, "If you do need anything, you can give me a call." He reached out and wrote his number across the dry erase board on her door.

"I'll let you know. It was nice meeting both of you, although, I sort of wish it had been under different circumstances." She let herself into her room, fumbled around for the ibuprofen and took a couple and then dug around in the mini fridge for enough ice to fill a bag. Finally she lay down and let the bag rest on her face. Before falling asleep, she smiled when she realized that she was no longer mad at Will.


	2. Chapter 2

AN: Full disclosure-I've worked with kids for more than 20 years. In my experience, kids who spend a lot of time around adults who don't talk down to them have very large vocabularies and speak well beyond what is generally expected. Yesterday one 4 year old told another 4 year old that he was making "some poor life choices" and "needed to reevaluate his behavior." I kid you not! I was dying! I wrote Beth as a girl who has several of her own quirks, but was raised in a mostly adult environment and now lives on a college campus, so she is likely surrounded by people who hold more educated conversations than her school classmates would (theoretically).

I love the reviews. I'm up to Chapter 7 in this fic now, so there will be at least a week's worth of new posts, and it's always exciting to read something new. I can't wait for the premiere though. Could October just get here already?

Chapter 2

Elizabeth woke up Saturday morning, her pillow damp from the condensation of her makeshift ice pack. Her head was still pounding but she was surprised that her eyes weren't swollen shut. She rolled over and sat on the edge of her bed. Gathering herself, she stood and fought through the nausea and dizziness that accompanied the action. Staying still, she waited for it to pass and then made her way to her bureau and looked at herself in the mirror. "Oh, dear God," she muttered, looking at the bruise that extended well below her cheek bone. She shuffled out of her room and down the hall, hoping not to meet anyone and have to explain that she looked like she'd been in a fist fight because she got nailed in the face by a seven year old's fastball.

Luckily she made it to the bathroom unnoticed. It had been her plan to just go to the bathroom and wash her face, but once she was there, a shower sounded like a better idea. The hot water stung her body, but felt needed. She washed her hair and then her body. After drying off and wrapping the towel around herself, she headed back to her room. She dressed, took a couple more ibuprofen, fixed another ice pack, double bagging this time, and lay back down, the shower having worn her out.

Waking again, a few hours later, she felt decidedly better. Her eyes were a little puffy, but she could see fine and her head didn't hurt as much. She looked over at the clock. "3 pm," she mumbled to herself. She was desperately hungry and the cafeteria wouldn't be open for another two hours.

Thinking about her options, she didn't feel safe to drive and she didn't particularly want to answer questions about her appearance if she walked in somewhere. She thought about Henry. He said she could call if she needed anything.

She continued to debate calling until her stomach grumbled loudly and she decided that she couldn't wait two hours to eat. She stepped to the door, phone in hand and dialed the number he'd written on her white board. The phone rang twice before a girl's voice came on. "Hello, McCord residence,"

Elizabeth was a little taken aback. "Hi. Is this Bethie?"

"Yeah, but you don't get to call me that. Only Henry gets to call me Bethie. You can call me M. E. or Lizzie or just Beth."

"Alright, sure. What do they call you at school?" Elizabeth asked, surprisingly entertained by this precocious girl.

"Usually Beth, but occasionally I get called Chatty Cathy, which makes no sense whatsoever." Bethie seemed thoughtful.

"Okay then Beth," Elizabeth chuckled. "It's Elizabeth, you know from yesterday, and I have a problem. I was wondering if you could help me. I'm hungry and don't think I should drive and it's a long time before the cafeteria opens. Do you think you can help me figure out a way to get some food?"

"Consider it done," the girl said and hung up on her. Elizabeth held the receiver in her hand, and tried to figure out what happened, or maybe even more importantly, what was about to happen. She shrugged and picked up a magazine to flip through, but quickly abandoned that idea because her headache became more pronounced.

Only ten minutes passed when there was a knock on her door. Elizabeth had managed to avoid people all day, but figured that she was going to have to retell the story of her bruised face repeatedly as soon as she saw someone.

Begrudgingly, she opened the door and found Beth standing there. "Are you ready to go?" she asked.

Elizabeth stood there dumbfounded. "I didn't know I was going anywhere. So no, I'm not ready."

Beth let out an exasperated sigh. "We're getting something to eat. Put your shoes on and let's go.".

Elizabeth furrowed her brow as she sat down on her bed to tie her shoes. "Does Henry know you're here?"

A guilty look crossed the girl's face. "Not exactly."

Elizabeth tilted her head and surveyed the girl. "By not exactly you mean like not at all?"

Beth dropped her head. Elizabeth pointed to the phone. "Call and tell him where you are. Henry doesn't seem like the sort of dad that lets you run all over by yourself."

Beth looked at her like she was stupid and then laughed as she picked up the phone. "Henry is not my dad and he would probably flip his lid of he heard you say that." Elizabeth laughed and Beth dialed the number.

"Hi… Yes, I know… Elizabeth's… Yes, I know… I came to get her for dinner… She's hungry… Because she called and told me she was hungry… Yes, I know… We'll be there in a minute… Love you, bye."

Beth turned to Elizabeth. "I hope you like spaghetti and meatballs, because that's what's on the menu." She shot a grin at Elizabeth that she couldn't help but return.

"I'm ready. Let's go." They had almost made it out of the building when Elizabeth ran into a group of her friends.

"Where have you been all day Liz-what the hell happened to you?" one of them asked as the others gasped.

"Language," Elizabeth shifted her eyes to Beth. "Nolan Ryan here, let a pitch get away from her and it appears that my face is a good backstop." She glanced down at Beth who shrugged guiltily. "I'll live. Anyway, I'm headed out to dinner. See ya."

The pair walked along the sidewalk. It was a short jaunt as she could see Quincy Hall from her own building. "So, Henry isn't your dad?" Elizabeth started.

Beth laughed. "He says we make an odd pair. He's my uncle, but I live with him and he's my guardian."

Elizabeth nodded. "That's a big word for a seven year old." Beth shot her a look. "Or maybe not," she corrected herself.

"Look, the short story is that my mom isn't in a position to take care of me." Beth said, airly as though she'd told this story hundreds of times. "Grandma and Grandpa were my legal guardians, but then Grandma got cancer and they couldn't commit to keeping me full time anymore, so Henry brought me to school with him, and now he takes care of me."

"I'm sorry about your mom. I know what it's like not to have your mom around. But I'm glad you have lots of family that cares about you."

"Is your mom in jail too?" Beth asked, wide eyed.

"No. She died-in a car accident, and my dad too."

"That stinks. I at least get visit days with my mom once a month." Beth looked at Elizabeth a moment. "I've never met my dad. Who did you live with when your parents died?"

"My grandparents, but they were really old and they died last year." This was getting much heavier than Elizabeth had intended. Tears started to well up and given her headache, she didn't need to be crying.

"So now who do you live with?" Beth asked.

"Well, you saw where I live now and in the summer, I can go back to the farm where my grandparents lived. When they died, my brother and I got it to share." Elizabeth stated.

"You have a brother?" Beth asked. "That's awesome!". She stepped in front of Elizabeth and pulled the door open and pointed upstairs. They walked together and Beth pointed at a door. Suddenly she stopped short. "Just so you know. I am forced to hang around a lot of grown-ups and I don't like most of them, but I like you."

"Thanks. I like you too. You're actually the only kid I know, so I don't know if I like other kids or not," Elizabeth said seriously.

"Well, I can tell you that I'm a pretty cool kid," Beth said, pushing the door open.

Henry stood in the center of the room with his arms folded across his chest. "You have some explaining to do young lady," he said.

"I know. I should have come to find you. I should have let you know what I was doing and I know I'm not supposed to leave without telling you."

"Super. Great. Fantastic. But we've been through all of this before. To your room for a while and no books."

Elizabeth looked horrified, "No books?" she mouthed to Henry as Beth sulk, heading off to her room.

"I promise ten minutes without something to read won't kill her."

"Oh, I thought you meant just in general." The relief in Elizabeth's voice was evident.

"No, I wouldn't take away reading, but she needs to know that leaving without telling me is serious, moreso for her than other kids." Elizabeth could tell immediately that Henry felt like he'd just said too much and was trying to figure out how to back out of the sharing he'd just started.

"Beth isn't really shy about sharing her story, so over the ten minute walk, I learned quite a bit."

Henry rubbed his hand over his face. "I sort of wish she wouldn't share quite so easily. I think it scares people off before they get a chance to know her." Henry changed his direction. "How are you feeling?"

"The headache is still there, but overall, I'm better than I thought I might be. I haven't eaten since yesterday though and I'm starving." Elizabeth grinned at him. "Beth assured me that she could remedy that situation."

"Well the meatballs aren't quite done, but I'm sure we can come up with something. He turned around and headed into the kitchen and rummaged around in the fridge. "Here we go," he called. Elizabeth followed and leaned against the end of the counter while Henry put together a small vegetable tray from miscellaneous bags of veggies in the crisper drawer. Elizabeth reached around him and pulled a bottle of dressing from the open door.

"Thanks. This is fabulous and a much better choice than I would've made if the cafeteria had been open. I probably would've hit the sundae bar first."

Henry laughed. "I'm going to get Bethie. Make yourself at home." She pulled a barstool around to where she'd been leaning and continued to munch carrots."

Pretty soon, Beth was at her arm stealing a celery stick to snack on. "Are you ready for dinner? It's my night to cook," she said.

Elizabeth arched her eyebrows at the girl who then dismissed Elizabeth with a wave of her hand. "It's obvious that you are unaware of my skills." Elizabeth watched slack-jawed as the seven year old prepared the pasta and had the sauce at the ready. Henry sat on the couch "watching" TV. Elizabeth could tell he was watching Beth, but he didn't hover. "I'm not allowed to move the pot off of the stove. Can you dump the noodles in the strainer?" Beth asked Elizabeth.

"Sure." Elizabeth hopped off the barstool and moved around the end of the counter, removed the pot from the stove and turned to the opposite side of the galley kitchen to dump the pasta into the strainer that Beth had placed in the sink. After having drained and rinsed the pasta, Elizabeth returned the pot to the stove so Beth could finish. She added the meatballs, which Elizabeth removed from the oven for her and poured in the sauce. Once it heated through, she plated the meal and Elizabeth helped her carry it to the table.

They all sat down to eat. "This is the best spaghetti I've ever had," Elizabeth raved, and Beth beamed. They ate in silence for the first few minutes and then the three started chatting. Beth told Elizabeth all about her school and the uniform she had to wear, which she hated, and the teachers that were nice and the ones that weren't. There were stories of people she knew and recess and getting in trouble, culminating with Henry getting called to the office because Beth had left the school grounds without permission.

"I was only trying to catch the kitten and return it to the old lady next door," Beth insisted.

"We've been through this before. It doesn't matter what you were trying to do. What matters is that you broke a safety rule and you could have been hurt. You cannot just do what you want, whenever you want."

"I promised I wouldn't do it again and I haven't."

"And I'm thankful. I'll get the dishes. Why don't you run and take a shower and I'll check to make sure you have the soap out of your hair in a few minutes? Then it's off to bed with you. We are getting up early in the morning."

Surprisingly, Beth scampered off to the bathroom. Elizabeth stood and gathered the dishes. "I'll do these. The meatballs were fabulous by the way."

"Thanks. And thank you for being so nice to Beth. She often feels like the third wheel around here."

"She's sweet. Tell me. How did college aged Henry get to be the guardian of a seven year old?" Elizabeth filled the sink with water and carefully put the dishes in.

"I'm sure Beth already told you about Maureen," Henry said, taking the first plate from Elizabeth to dry it.

"Is that Mom?" Elizabeth asked.

Henry nodded, "Yeah. Maureen is four years older and has been a mess as long as I can remember. Drinking and smoking in middle school and started with drugs before Bethie was born. Bethie has always lived with my mom and dad, regardless of where Maureen chose to be. When she was 20, she was arrested on drug charges. My parents didn't have the money to get her a decent lawyer so she got the maximum sentence even though it was her first offense. I think it turned out okay, because it forced her to get clean, but I don't know how she'll do once she gets out in a couple years. Maybe she'll be okay, but I wouldn't count on it. She's got a big chip on her shoulder. Anyway, my parents were Bethie's official foster parents, but then last summer, my mom was diagnosed with cancer and my parents just weren't in a position to do all of the medical stuff and commit to Bethie, so I was the closest legal aged adult around. I have two younger siblings, but they are only 14 and 16. They wouldn't have been much help to my parents if they had tried to keep her. This isn't what I thought college life would be like, but she's like my little sister. I was eleven when she was born and there hasn't been a day that we haven't been together. I wasn't going to let her go to a foster home in Pittsburgh just because I wanted to run around and drink with my friends on the weekends.

"Henry," Beth called from the bathroom.

Henry smiled and placed the glass in the cabinet. "I'll be right back." A few minutes later, Beth emerged from the bathroom in pink frilly pajamas and a towel wrapped around her head.

"Elizabeth, would you comb my hair?. Henry always pulls it." Elizabeth grinned.

"I'm not sure I'll be much better. The only hair I do beside my own is my horse's."

"You have a horse. That is so cool. Do you ride her? Is it a girl horse? Are you rich?" Beth was brimming with questions.

"Hold on and I'll tell you all about Buttercup while I comb your hair, but I'm going to finish these first. Why don't you get your comb and if you want, I'll braid your hair too." Beth jumped up and down in excitement. "And a couple hair ties." Elizabeth instructed as Beth ran off.

Elizabeth finished the silverware and left it on a towel to dry and headed over to the couch. Beth sat at her feet and handed her the comb and hair ties. She squirmed with anticipation. "Tell me all about your horse Buttercup." Elizabeth started telling Beth everything there was to know about her horse as she worked through the little girl's light brown hair combing out the tangles. Soon, Beth had two French braids running down her head and trailing down her back.

"All finished," Elizabeth said and Beth pulled the braids around to look at them and then ran her fingers over her head. When Beth turned to look at her, Elizabeth was shocked to see that she was crying. "What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked.

"I just love them so much. Now I will be just like the other girls in my class." Beth threw herself on Elizabeth's lap and hugged her tight. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. I'm glad you like them. You are much more willing to sit still than Buttercup."

Beth was smiling, but tears continued to stream down her face. "No one has ever said that I sit still before. Everyone just says how wiggly I am and they tell me to be still."

"I bet none of those people have ever tried to braid a horse's mane before or they wouldn't say that."

Beth hugged Elizabeth again. "Good night. Thanks for coming over for dinner. I hope you aren't hungry anymore."

"I'm very full. Thank you for making me a wonderful dinner. Sweet dreams Beth."

Beth turned to Henry sitting in the chair. "Do you like my braids?" she beamed.

"I love them. Good night Bethie. I love you." Henry kissed her forehead.

"Good night Henry. Love you." Beth skipped out of the room.

Elizabeth turned sideways on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. Henry moved from the chair to the other end of the couch and sat facing Elizabeth. "How hard is it?" she asked softly.

"What? Being 18 and a parent to a seven year old? It's hard. It sucks sometimes. I'm not prepared to deal with teachers and doctors and trying to explain the actual situation is almost worse than letting people think I had a kid at some impossibly young age. And then there's dumb things like buying special shoes for school and making sack lunches and fixing a healthy dinner every night. There's a general lack of compassion for how ill equipped I am to do this. But, the alternative is unacceptable. So, here I am. There will be a time when Bethie is a little older and I'll have more freedom. Mom may get to a point where she feels like she can take her back. Hell, Maureen may pull her head out of her ass and decide that her daughter is more important than where her next high is coming from. Who knows what could happen? Until any of the above does happen, I'll just hang out and keep doing the best I can and pray to God that I get better at doing it."

"It's important. You know that, right? You are the difference between that little girl knowing she's loved and feeling like she doesn't belong anywhere. I know that feeling a little too well. You are Beth's lifeline. She needs you, even when it's hard. Actually, especially when it's hard." Elizabeth and Henry sat in silence for a few minutes. "I should really get back before it's too late. Thank you for dinner. This probably wasn't the way you envisioned your evening, so thanks for entertaining me." Elizabeth stood and Henry followed suit.

"You coming over was a pleasant deviation from our normal routine." Henry smiled.

Elizabeth laughed, "I don't know that I've ever been referred to as a pleasant deviation before."

"It's a good thing. I promise." Henry suddenly looked a little uncomfortable. Elizabeth stepped over to the writing desk that was against the wall and picked up an ink pen. Crossing back to Henry she took his hand and wrote her phone number across his palm, before dropping the pen on the coffee table.

"If you need anything, give me a call. A break. Someone to talk to. A date?" She raised her eyebrows at him. "I'll be around. Thanks again for dinner," She walked to the door, opened it and turned back to Henry, giving him a small wave before stepping out and closing the door behind her.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Thanks so much for the positive reviews. I wasn't sure how this fic would be received. It seemed a little more unbelievable than many of the stories I've written, so I appreciate the feedback. Have a great weekend. Only 6 more weeks until the premiere!

Chapter 3

A week passed and Henry was out of sorts. He just felt on edge and he couldn't put his finger on why. Classes were going well, Bethie was finally settling into school. His mom was doing better. By all accounts, Henry's life was as good it got. Still, he roamed the apartment and couldn't commit to any one activity for more than a few minutes.

He was leaning against the sliding glass door looking out onto the balcony into the rain,when Beth wrapped her arms around his waist. "I miss her," she said.

"Miss grandma or your mom?". We go to see your mom next week and grandma the week after. It's the best we can do. Both are big trips."

"I miss Elizabeth," Beth said sullenly.

"Oh. Bethie." Henry said nothing for a while, just holding her at his side. "I wish things were different for us," he said. "Anyway, she's probably been busy and that's why she hasn't called." Henry felt like he talked a good game, but the sadness that spread through him at the mention of her name told him that he was mourning the loss too. "Why don't we take a walk in the rain? Get your boots. You can splash in the puddles." Beth looked up at Henry, plastering a smile on her face and pulled away from his side to find her boots. She was willing to pretend for both of their sakes.

Elizabeth flopped down on her bed. The dreary day was making her even more miserable. Her headache was finally gone and a layer of well applied concealer covered the remainder of the bruise pretty well, but she couldn't shake the empty feeling she had. She'd spent quite a bit of time the last several days thinking about her parents and grandparents. It wasn't something she liked to do. It brought back a lot of memories, many of the recent sad ones overshadowed the good ones.

Elizabeth grabbed her sweats off the floor and threw a sweatshirt on over her tee. She decided that running this off sounded like a good plan, and if it didn't work, it would at least counteract the three donuts she ate for breakfast.

Her feet pounded the ground in a steady rhythm. She wasn't sure exactly how far she had run but her legs were tired and her heart was no lighter. Seeing the playground ahead, she veered off the path and found herself pushing off in a swing.

Henry and Beth were stomping in puddles along the path when Beth caught a glimpse of Elizabeth on the swings and took off running before Henry could stop her. Henry closed his eyes and prayed that Elizabeth would actually be happy to see them. He followed at a slower pace gearing himself up for the rejection he thought was surely to come. He'd had this happen twice already in the few weeks he'd been on campus. Women had shown an interest in him until they knew that he and Beth were a package deal. He understood that the average college aged woman wasn't interested in parenthood, but that didn't make it any easier to think there might be something only to have it extinguished before the flame can even start to burn.

By the time Henry made it to the swings, Elizabeth and Beth were giggling and Beth had straddled Elizabeth's lap and Elizabeth was pushing the both of them. He smiled broadly. It was obvious to him in that moment that Elizabeth really liked Beth and he hoped she would stay around a while for Beth's sake if not his own.

"Hi Henry," Elizabeth said turning her attention to him. She flashed him a smile that turned his insides to mush and caused him to momentarily lose his voice.

After a few seconds, he answered her. "Hi." They stared at each other. Beth climbed off Elizabeth's lap and ran to the monkey bars.

"Um, I thought about calling," she said, "but I really didn't feel like I had a reason to. I didn't want to intrude or be clingy or any of the other negative things I thought of."

"I didn't call because I didn't want to pressure you into feeling like you needed to be friendly. It was happenstance that we met. It wasn't like we had a lot of common ground to start with. I did have a nice time the other night." Henry leaned against the A-frame of the swing.

For the first time, Elizabeth really looked at him with a clear head. He was handsome, clean cut, and muscular. He had brown hair, but several shades lighter than Beth's and deep brown eyes. There was a sadness in them, but deep caring and compassion too. Elizabeth felt at peace when their eyes met, more so than she had in a long time. She held his gaze and then suddenly blinked, looking away, wondering how many of her thoughts he could read. She felt like he could see right into her soul. It was unnerving and left her feeling vulnerable.

"Elizabeth! Come help me," Beth called and Elizabeth didn't hesitate to jump up and go to her.

Henry watched as Elizabeth cheered Beth on as she tried to cross the monkey bars by herself. She didn't take over and she didn't back all the way out. She was right there supporting, but not doing it for Beth. Henry smiled.

He wondered what exactly what might be transpiring between them. Elizabeth was smart and beautiful, he realized that today more than he had before. She was excellent with Beth and Beth adored her. Henry tried to push the thought away, but it kept bubbling up to the surface-the thought that maybe Elizabeth was someone who he could be with and who would want to be with him.

The clouds receded and the sun peeked through every so often. Henry and Elizabeth sat on a bench watching Beth play with a couple other girls. "Can I ask you something?" Elizabeth said softly.

Henry turned to her, "Sure."

Henry watched as she twisted her hands together, fidgeting before she spoke, "I don't mean to be forward or ask more of you than you want, and if you say no, it's completely alright." Henry looked at her expectantly. "A long time ago, I got these tickets to a ball game. Plans fell through and I was originally just going to give them away, because I didn't want to go without my brother, but now I think I would like to go, if you and Beth would like to join me.

Henry's smiled, obviously excited. "That sounds fun. When is the game?"

"It's this coming Saturday."

His face fell. "This Saturday we are going to visit Maureen in Baltimore. We only end up being there a couple hours, but it ends up being an all day trip. I'm sorry. I'd really like to be able to go and I know Beth would."

"Well, if the visit with your sister is only a couple hours, it might still work out, but it might be too late for Beth to be up. It's a 6 o'clock game, but it sort of depends how far the stadium is from where you'll be."

Henry blinked at her. "You have three tickets to the Orioles/Yankees game on Saturday?" Elizabeth nodded. Henry was surprised. "I thought you meant you had tickets to something locally. Are you sure you want to take us? You could sell them for probably double what you bought them for."

"I bought them for my brother, but something came up and he backed out. I wanted the time with him, but now I'd like the time with you and Beth, if you think it might work out."

"I think we'd both really enjoy it. And it would be a late night, but it would be a first for Beth. It's a Saturday, so she could sleep in on Sunday. We'll make it work. Would you be okay hanging out while we visit Maureen?"

"Of course. I wouldn't want to intrude on your time. I could either just hang in the car and read a book, or I could drop the two of you off and get a coffee and wait around. Whatever works."

"Can it be a surprise? If you tell her now, that's all I'll get to listen to until we get there, plus I know my sister will make a huge deal of it and I don't want her to ruin it for Beth by making her feel bad for going."

Elizabeth wrinkled her forehead, "Surely she wouldn't-" Henry gave her a look that said everything she needed to know. "It will be a surprise then."

They hung out a while longer and eventually started making their way back home. They walked the same direction together and they stopped in front of Elizabeth's building. Beth wrapped her arms around Elizabeth's waist. "I had lots of fun. My day was so much better because you were in it." Beth leaned in and pretended to whisper but didn't, "Henry's day was better too." Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh and Henry turned a shade of red that Elizabeth was certain had never been achieved by a human before.

She looked down at Beth and told her, "My day was a lot better too. Thanks for hanging out with me." Beth and Henry started to walk toward their building, but Henry turned and looked one last time over his shoulder. He was surprised to see that Elizabeth was watching him. She put her thumb and pinky up to her ear and mouth like a phone receiver. She mouthed, "Call me," and grinned. Henry beamed back at her and immediately changed his plans for the evening, once Beth went to sleep.

Elizabeth and Henry spent hours on the phone that week. Henry would call once Beth fell asleep and they spent the rest of their evening together. They talked about all sorts of things and sometimes, they didn't even talk. They each did their homework listening to the scratches of pen on paper or pages turning on the other end of the phone occasionally saying something to the other.

Hanging up the phone Friday evening, after making the plan to pick Henry and Beth up at 7 the next morning, Elizabeth flopped back on her bed and grinned. She wondered if this would be the beginning of something more.


	4. Chapter 4

AN: I need to stop writing Maureen, because she gets a little worse with every story I write. If I keep it up, at some point she will be a serial killer.

As always, let me know what you think. Also, if you have a story idea, you should write it. As much as you like to read new things, so do I and there aren't enough new additions! ;)

Chapter 4

Elizabeth was parked in front of Quincy Hall a few minutes before 7 on Saturday morning, It was overcast and there was a possibility of a pop-up shower before lunch, but then it was supposed to clear off. Elizabeth fidgeted in the driver's seat. She was anxious to see how Beth would react to her coming. Henry thought it would be best if they surprised her. Elizabeth hoped it would be a happy surprise. Henry assured her it would be, but Elizabeth kept thinking back to his comment about Maureen and the baseball game, and it made her nervous.

The pair came walking out of the building at 7 o'clock on the nose and when Beth saw Elizabeth step out of the car, she dashed over to hug her. "What are you doing here? Did you come to tell us goodbye? That was nice."

"Actually, I thought I'd join you. Maybe we can go to a park or something after you see your mom." Beth's face lit up at the suggestion.

"That sounds fun." She stood on tiptoe, pulling on Elizabeth's shoulder to get her to bend down. Beth uncharacteristically whispered in her ear instead of speaking, "I think Henry will think it's a good idea too." Elizabeth smiled. She hoped so.

It was close to a three hour car ride, and even stopping a couple times, to use the restroom and get gas, they still pulled in a little after 10. They parked and Henry and Beth got out and Beth fished the card she made her mom out of her backpack. She looked curiously at Elizabeth, who had pulled a book out and was getting settled in to read. "Aren't you coming with us?" Beth asked, her brow furrowed.

"I thought I'd just stay here. This is a chance for you and your mom to talk. I want you to take advantage of that. You can see me anytime. You don't always get to see your mom. Go ahead and take all the time you need. I'll wait and then we'll do something together when you're done, okay?"

Elizabeth shot Henry a look and could see the relief on his face. He didn't seem to be in favor of her going in any more than she was.

"Alright," Beth said, the disappointment written across her face. It pained Elizabeth and she was almost ready to give in, but the look on Henry's face kept her from doing so. She wasn't sure what he thought was going to happen, but whatever it was, she could see that she didn't want to be in the middle of it.

Henry took Beth by the hand and led her to the back of the line of people waiting to get into the prison to see their loved ones. Sometimes there were a lot of kids and Beth played silly games with them in the grass as they moved forward in the line. Today, even though there were a few kids close by, Beth stood quietly and leaned into Henry. "Bethie, what's wrong?"

"I wanted Elizabeth to come in and meet Mom." Beth said. Henry sighed.

"Oh honey, I wish this was easier. I think that Elizabeth hasn't known us for that long and she doesn't want to come into a place where she doesn't feel like she belongs. And I know that you feel like she's just a friend, but your mom may view it a little differently. I don't want there to be any bad feelings between them."

Beth seemed to think on that a while. "Why would Mom have bad feelings toward Elizabeth?" she finally asked.

Henry closed his eyes. "Have you met your mother? She has bad feelings toward everyone," he thought, but instead said, "She might not, but she might be jealous that you have such a close friend that you get to see all of the time, when you don't get to see her."

"Oh," Beth said. Beth squirmed in her spot as they moved up in the line. Right before they entered the building, Beth looked at Henry. "I'll make Mom understand and then Elizabeth can come visit too."

Henry dropped his head and closed his eyes. He wished he could be as optimistic as Beth. Experience told him that he would be picking up pieces of Beth's heart when all of this was over. "I hope it works out that way," was all he said.

They made their way through the metal detectors and the pat down. "Hi, Patsy. How are you today?" Beth said jovially to the woman running the metal detector.

"Doing well. How are you doin' sweetie?" the older lady asked.

"I'm good. I made Mom this card. Do you like it?". Beth held up the card for Patsy's inspection.

"It looks real good. Is that you swinging at the playground?" she asked.

"Yep. It's me and my friend Elizabeth at the park."

Patsy smiled at the little girl. "Your mama is sure going to love that. Make sure you give her a big hug, okay?"

Beth beamed. "I will see you in a little bit " Beth took off holding Henry's hand as they followed the hallway down to where the prisoners would be waiting for their guests.

They entered the large room filled with folding cafeteria tables. Inmates all sat on one side, facing the officers that lined one side of the room. "Mom!" Beth called when she found her in sitting at the table toward the middle. She dashed over, pulling Henry behind her. Maureen stood and Beth climbed up on the opposite side of the table to lean across and give her a hug. Henry gave her a hug as well and sat down, pulling Beth down beside him. "I made you a picture Mom,"

"It's nice. It's good to see you are finally coloring in the lines. Who is that?" Maureen pointed to the people in the picture.

"It's me and Elizabeth at the playground the other day. She and I played on the swings together."

"Is she a friend from school?" Maureen asked.

Beth laughed loudly. "I don't have school friends. Elizabeth was at the park. I accidentally hit her face with my ball, and she got blood all over the place, but she said it was fine and I cooked her spaghetti and now we're friends."

If Henry hadn't been completely on edge about how this was going to go, he would have found great humor in Bethie's retelling of their meeting. He hoped that Maureen would just let it go as ramblings of a seven year old and move on to other safer subjects.

"You cooked your friend dinner?" Maureen seemed amused.

"I'm teaching her basic things to cook, like Mom did us. Bethie, tell your mom the things you can make so far."

"I can make sandwiches like ham and peanut butter and jelly, but those are super easy. I can make grilled cheese and toast and scrambled eggs too."

"And spaghetti," Maureen said. "Sounds like you have a regular chef at your house, Henry."

Henry smiled and pulled a paper from his pocket. "I just got Bethie's progress report from school. It looks like she's doing very well in all of her subjects. She is grade level in math and is above average in reading." Henry slid the paper across the table to Maureen for her inspection.

"I see they are still commenting about how you fidget and squirm around," Maureen said tersely.

"I try real hard Mom." Beth shrank back against Henry. "I don't do it on purpose and I try to stop when they tell me to. Sometimes I just can't."

"You can. You're just being stubborn.". Maureen crossed her arms and glared at Beth.

Henry gritted his teeth. "She's doing well and her teachers are happy with her progress. She has far exceeded what her prognosis was early on. You are super smart, aren't you Bethie?" He pulled her close to his side, squeezing her shoulders.

*Because that's my fault. We all know." Maureen had adopted a hostile tone, and Henry was desperate to back her off the edge. They hadn't even been together 30 minutes, and he hated to leave early, but he wouldn't hesitate to if Maureen kept this up.

"I'm not rehashing any of that. I'm saying the progress report is good. Can we just see the good in it and be happy for Beth?"

Maureen blew out a breath. "Nice job. You read a lot?"

Henry relaxed a bit as Beth started in on a litany of the many books she had read in the last month and which were her favorites and which weren't as good. Henry almost lulled himself into complacency when he heard Beth say that Henry had taken away her right to read when she went to Elizabeth's room without permission.

He blinked and focused his attention back to Maureen and Beth. Maureen was staring him down. "Who exactly is Elizabeth?" she asked. Beth opened her mouth to answer, but Henry stopped her.

"She's another student that lives two buildings over from us. We met a few weeks ago. Bethie and I were playing catch and I missed her pitch and it hit Elizabeth. We walked her back to her room and I left my number in case she needed anything. She called the next day and Bethie answered and took it upon herself to go get her and bring her to our place for dinner. We've seen each other off and on since."

"Are you fucking her?" Maureen leaned in, her eyes boring into Henry's. "Because if it's your plan to set up house with my kid and leave me in the cold, I'll make your life hell."

"Oh my God, Maureen! First, watch your mouth. Second, I met Elizabeth less than a month ago. We are just friends. Third, you aren't really in a position to say anything. There is no wrong doing and if you know what's best for you, you'll shut your mouth and be decent. Fourth, and maybe most importantly, Beth has a friend for the first time in forever, so don't ruin it for her."

"I'll be damned if I sit back and let some whore take my kid away from me. I'm still her mother."

"A job which you obviously take very seriously." He rolled his eyes.

"She doesn't want to be my mom. She just knows what it's like not to have a mom around and she told me that I'm lucky I get to come and see you. I tried to get her to come in and she said this was my special time with you and she didn't want to get in the way of us. She's really nice Mom, I swear. If you met her, you'd like her."

Maureen turned on Henry. "You brought her here?"

"Does that bother you?". Henry shot back. "Because if half the crap you've pulled bothered you, then maybe you'd be in a better situation now. Bethie, honey, give your mom a hug. I think we've stayed long enough today.".

Beth's mouth fell open, "But Henry, it isn't time yet." It broke Henry's heart, but he already knew that it was just going to get worse with Maureen and he feared that she would say something to Beth that would be difficult to fix.

"I know, but I don't want to fight with your mom, and we'll end up saying hurtful things to each other. It's better that we leave before someone says something they can't take back. We'll be back next month. I promise."

Bethie stood on the bench and leaned over the tabletop to give her mom a hug. "I'll miss you. I'll write you a letter this week, okay?". Beth's eyes were tearing up. "I love you."

Maureen sat motionless, her arms hanging by her side. When Beth let go, she said, "Guard. I'm ready."

She stood and walked away, leaving a now sobbing little girl wrapped in Henry's arms. Henry held her as he moved away from the table and started to walk toward the door. Beth twisted against him, squirming away. She landed on her feet and ran back to where they had been sitting. Falling to her knees, she reached under the table and pulled out the card she'd made her mom. Wiping her tears with the back of her hand, she looked at Henry, walked across the room and said, "Let's go."


	5. Chapter 5

AN: Here ya go! Let me know what you think!

Chapter 5

Elizabeth was engrossed in her book, when for some unknown reason, she happened to look up and saw Henry and Beth making their way across the parking lot. She frowned as she looked at her watch, seeing that only an hour had passed. Her concern only increased when they got close enough she could see Henry's tight expression and Beth's tear streaked face. Henry opened the back door and Beth climbed in and immediately crumpled up her picture, curled up into a ball and hid her face. Henry sat in the passenger seat and Elizabeth turned to him and mouthed, "What happened?"

Henry was so overwhelmed with emotion that he couldn't even bring himself to try and explain, and how could he even begin to explain that it was about her and not about her at all. "I need some time," he said. Elizabeth nodded and backed out of the parking space and headed to the closest park where they had planned to eat lunch.

Sitting on the wool plaid blanket under a tree, Henry set out the food. They ate in silence and finally Elizabeth said, "Maybe we should just head back home. I think trying to do both might have been asking a bit too much."

"Doing both what?" Beth asked, looking up from her lap.

Henry looked at her, gauging her potential reaction. "Well, we had plans to do something together this evening, but I don't know that we feel like anything fun right now."

"Like what kind of fun?" Beth asked, perking up just a bit.

Elizabeth fished the tickets from her back pocket and handed them to Beth. Beth read the print on the top ticket. "I don't know what this is."

"It's a ticket to go to the Orioles/Yankees baseball game tonight," Elizabeth said.

Beth looked at Elizabeth. "You mean like a baseball game that's on TV?" Elizabeth nodded.

"It will be on TV, but you would be there, in the stands, watching as it happens," she said.

Beth's eyes went wide. "Like in the real stadium?"

"Yep," Henry answered. "Do you think you would like to go?"

"Are you kidding? It's my life's dream come true!" Beth leaped up and tackled Henry in a hug. "Thank you," she said.

"They're Elizabeth's tickets. She invited us." Beth pushed off Henry, nearly knocking him backwards to get to Elizabeth.

She crawled into Elizabeth's lap, kissed her cheek and hugged her tightly. "Thank you. I don't care what my mom says. I am happy that you are my friend."

Elizabeth shot Henry a look, but hugged Beth back in equal measure. "I'm lucky that you are my friend," she said, kissing the top of Beth's head. "What do you say we go play a bit before we have to get back in the car?" Beth picked up her napkin and plate and tossed it in the trash on the way to the playground. Henry picked up the remaining items and placed them back in the cooler.

Elizabeth sat quietly and watched him. "Do I get to know what happened?"

"I'll tell you, but frankly, I'm still too pissed off about it right now, and I need to get past that so I can enjoy the evening. Maybe we can talk about it on the way home, when someone is asleep."

Elizabeth got up and made her way over to the playground where Beth was sitting on top of the jungle gym. Seeing Elizabeth standing there, she quickly looked and spotted Henry folding the blanket across the way. Beth shimmied down the bars until she was sitting even with Elizabeth's face. Beth leaned in and spoke quietly. "I need to ask you something, but I don't want Henry to know I asked you."

Elizabeth frowned, "I'm not in the habit of making those kinds of deals. If it's something that I think Henry needs to know, I'm not going to keep it from him, especially if it's about you."

"I just need to know what a couple words mean."

"Why don't you ask Henry?" Elizabeth asked.

"Because he will know why I want to know." Beth said simply, "and he's already mad enough anyway."

"But I can know? And I won't be mad?"

"I don't think so." Beth said.

"Alright. Shoot."

Beth ducked around Elizabeth's head to see where Henry was. He was still milling about near the car. "What does fucking mean?"

"Whoa!" Elizabeth couldn't keep the surprise out of her voice, so much so that Beth jumped "That's not a word for a seven year old. Where did you hear that?" Beth dropped her eyes. "Beth, who said that?"

"Mom asked Henry if he was fucking you," Beth mumbled.

"Oh. Wow! No wonder Henry is mad. Well, the answer to that question is no and as far as what it means-well, it's a word used to describe a certain thing that a couple might do, but it's almost never used in a nice way and there is never a reason for that word to come out of your mouth again." Beth nodded solemnly. "So what's the other word?"

"I don't think I need to know. I can guess it isn't good. And, it isn't true, so that's all I need to know." Beth scampered back up the bars and was sitting on top by the time that Henry made his way over. He stood by Elizabeth watching Beth play.

"Thank you for this," he said.

She turned and grinned at him. "You're welcome. I hope you have fun." They stood silently for a few minutes. "I'm sorry that I made today difficult."

Henry looked dismayed. He turned so his back was to Beth but was facing Elizabeth. He spoke in a low tone, but his voice held a harshness that she hadn't heard from him before. "You didn't make anything difficult. Maureen is so wrapped up in her own warped mind that she can't see good in anything. She actually dismissed Bethie's excellent progress report from school and pointed out that the comment said she was working on her fidgeting. This is the kid that was going to be lucky if she could walk and talk. It's true Bethie has no filter, saying everything that comes into her head and she moves all of the time and she's impulsive, but look at her,. She could've easily been wheelchair bound and had a feeding tube and any of the other awful things they said when she was born. I wasn't there, but I remember how my parents were when they came home from the hospital. They were devastated. It was a lot. She had to be in the NICU for months to detox and get bigger. We couldn't even hold her until her was three months old. And where was Maureen you ask? Who knows? She walked out of the hospital the next day and no one saw her for a year. Now she has the audacity to claim parenthood. I can't even attempt to justify her behavior."

Elizabeth smiled over his shoulder at Beth, who was now hanging upside down. She waved and Elizabeth returned the wave. Dropping her hand, she reached out and caught Henry's. She squeezed it. "It won't do you any good to try to figure it out. Addiction is a disease and just because she doesn't have access to her drug of choice, doesn't mean she's any closer to being over it. You can't try to apply your rational thought to how her brain works." Elizabeth squeezed Henry's hand. "So, Beth has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome?"

"Among other things, like her inability to read social cues, which is why she doesn't have friends at school. Adults tend to be a little more accepting, and given our situation, she ends up around a lot of adults, her vocabulary shows that, which makes her stand out even more with her peers." He studied Elizabeth. "Is it that obvious? I always think that maybe other people won't know, that maybe they will just think she's a little quirky but I'm probably deluding myself."

"I don't know that I would've known on my own, but you made a comment that first night I came over and it made me wonder, so I did a little investigating."

Henry smiled. "You're something else.". Elizabeth gave him a confused look. "You knew what you were getting into and you're still hanging around.

She shrugged. "I liked what I saw." He smiled."We have some extra time now. What do you think about visiting the science center before the game? It's close to the stadium, or is it too much?"

"I think after our morning, too much is just right." Henry turned around and made eye contact with the little girl. "Who's ready for some fun?" Henry backed up to the bars and Beth giggled and leaped on to his back and rode piggyback to the car. Elizabeth trailed behind laughing at the sight before her, a little girl that she was beginning to love and admiration for the man who was setting his life aside to raise her.

They spent a couple hours at the science center touching everything there was to touch. Beth had never been to a place so fun and interesting. "Look!" she exclaimed after running a circuit to make the bulb light up. Elizabeth saw that she was very mechanical, figuring out how most of the displays worked without needing to read about them first. She laughed at Henry, who always stopped Beth to read all of the information at each place before he let her go to the next exhibit.

When they were about two-thirds of the way through the science center, Elizabeth noted the time. "Hey you two, we have to decide if we are going to finish here and go to the game a little late or leave here now and make it to the game on time." Beth was engrossed in looking through color paddles and making different colors.

"I don't think that will be much of a choice. Hey Bethie, if you want to make it to the start of the game,we need to leave in just a minute." She looked sad for about five seconds and then a smile stretched across her face.

"Will they play the National Anthem?" He nodded. "You know I love that song!". Henry grinned at her nodded again. Beth quickly put away what she was working on and grabbed both of their hands. "Let's go!"

Ten minutes later, they were out of the building with Beth racing across the parking lot, pulling Henry and Elizabeth behind her. They made the short drive to the stadium, parking far away, and walked a quite the distance. Elizabeth wondered if Beth ever got tired. She felt like they had walked several miles, but Beth was still bouncing all over.

They made their way through the turnstiles and up the couple of levels to their seats. Henry showed Beth how to find their seats by reading the section numbers on large signs suspended from the ceiling above them and then find their row using the label on the end and their seats. Beth proudly sported her "I love baseball" shirt in Yankees colors, that Henry had the foresight to bring. She insisted on trading tickets with Henry so that her ticket had the right seat number and she could sit between Henry and Elizabeth. After belting out the National Anthem, much to the amusement, or perhaps annoyance, of the people around them, Beth sat back and let Henry explain everything that was going on.

Elizabeth watched with interest at everything that happened around her. Beth was in awe of everything and giggled and talked loudly. Elizabeth thought she could tell which people may have been around children frequently because they smiled or just were completely oblivious to the added noise, but there were others that were openly annoyed and a couple that commented just loud enough that she could hear. It pained her to know that if she heard it, then Beth and Henry could hear it and how that must make them feel.

Someone got a hit and everyone cheered around them. Beth jumped up and down, cheering, although her level of understanding may have been in question. A man passed by selling peanuts and Henry was going to get some but Elizabeth suggested they get something closer to real food first, then have a snack later in the game. "I'll take Beth and you enjoy the game for a while." Henry looked concerned. "I've got her." She stood and ushered Beth out of the row. "We'll bring you something to eat when we come back.". Beth took off like a shot up the steps and Elizabeth barely caught her by the shirttail at the top before she disappeared into the crowd.

"Hold on there!" She pulled Beth to the far side where there weren't as many people and knelt down in front of her. Putting her hands in Beth's shoulders, she said, "We have to stay together. You absolutely do not get to run off and do your own thing in this place. It is too big with too many people." Beth nodded her understanding. "I know there are lots of cool things to see and you can see as many as we have time for, but if you run off even once we will get Henry and we will leave. Do you understand that? Henry will kill me if I lose you." Elizabeth stood and hugged Beth to her side. "Now, would you like to eat first or see the sights?"

"I want to see it all!" Beth exclaimed and pulled Elizabeth along behind her. An hour, a stuffed oriole, a hot dog and a soda later, they returned to their seats. Elizabeth handed Henry a hot dog and a soda.

After they ate, they got peanuts from a guy who threw the bag and Beth caught it. She was ecstatic and shared with Henry and Elizabeth. The beer man walked the aisle and Elizabeth caught Henry glancing at him and then looking down at Beth. Henry barely slumped his shoulders before leaning back in the seat and turning his attention to the game. It would have gone unnoticed by most, but Elizabeth saw it and looked at Beth happily playing a game with her new stuffed bird. She tapped the guy on the arm as he passed and gave him the money. He handed her the cup and she handed it to Henry. His eyes widened and then narrowed. "I cant, well, I shouldn't," he started.

She reached over Beth and put her hand on his shoulder. "I'm giving you permission to be a normal guy, just for a while. Have a beer, watch the game. I've got her."

"Okay then," he said definitively, grinning at her. By the time they hit the "7th Inning Stretch" and Beth belted out a rousing rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame," two of the three were ready to go home.

Beth protested loudly as Henry lead her up the steps to the top of the section. "Bethie, we still have a three hour drive. You can sleep but Elizabeth can't. It's not fair to her to stay the next 30-45 minutes when she has to drive. Besides, it was a great day, right? Let's be thankful for the fun we had."

Beth latched on to Elizabeth's waist. "My day started out stinky but you made it fabulous. Thank you, and I love Oreo."

"Oreo?" Elizabeth asked.

"My bird. He's an Oreo, so I named him Oreo." Beth gave Elizabeth a look that conveyed exactly how dumb she thought Elizabeth was being in that moment.

"Of course." She looked over to Henry. "I'll let you take that one at a later time." He winked.

They merged on the interstate half an hour later, Beth was already asleep in the back seat.

Henry shifted in the front seat to face Elizabeth. "Thank you for the wonderful day. I'm sure it will be told as Beth's best day ever for years to come."

"I wish the visit with your sister had gone better. I hate that Beth feels like she needs to get rid of me to be in her mom's good graces. I have no aspirations to compete with her you know."

"I know. How come you never told me you lost your mom?"

Elizabeth shot him a sideways glance and returned her eyes to the road. "It never came up. I don't talk about it much. And, it's my parents actually. They were killed in a car accident about five years ago."

"Oh Elizabeth. I'm sorry. I can't even imagine. How did it come up with Bethie?"

"I don't remember exactly, but it was the first night when we were walking back to your place and she was telling me about how ridiculous it was that I called you her dad and then she told me about Maureen. I think I just told her that she was lucky to still be able to see her mom, that mine was dead."

"It's funny what she keeps to herself because most things enter and exit her mouth at a rapid rate," he said. "Maybe she just knew it was something to hold close."

"How are you?" Elizabeth asked. "I know Maureen affects you too. Probably more so since you are the one whose life is being upended."

Henry sighed and looked out the window. "I'm tired. Physically tired, mentally tired, emotionally tired. I tired of trying to do the right thing and having her blow up in my face. I don't want Bethie to have to deal with her. Maureen's toxic and every time we go, I feel like I'm throwing Bethie to the wolves, but how would she feel knowing her mother is out there and she never got to connect with her, because it was too hard for me. Which is worse? At some point I wonder is Bethie going to end up hating me for how I handled it?"

"I hope not. If she does, I'll remind her how much you love her and that you did the best you could."

"Are you planning to be around that long?" Henry asked quietly, almost like he was ashamed to want to know.

"There's something special about Beth. I have this connection to her. Even that first day, in the midst of a bloody nose and a splitting headache, I felt connected to her. She is the epitome of love. She gives it and receives it without condition. So, yeah, as long as she'll tolerate me, I'll be around."

Henry sighed and Elizabeth wasn't sure if that was good or not. When he didn't speak, Elizabeth reached out and took his hand. It was silent for a long time, and Elizabeth thought that Henry might have drifted off to sleep. Then he asked, "What about us?"

Henry had held onto the question as long as he could. He thought there might be something there. He desperately wanted there to be something. When he asked and she didn't respond right away, he knew where he was going to stand.

The question tore at Elizabeth's heart. It seemed that Henry was everything she had ever thought she would want in someone, and she knew she had opened the door by flirting with him. But now, it seemed almost dangerous to attempt to start something with Henry. If it didn't work out, where would that leave Beth?

She pulled her hand away from Henry. "The feelings are there and it could happen, but it isn't something I want to make happen. I don't know what it would do to Beth." Elizabeth let the silence stand for a few minutes. "If we started something and it ended badly, how would she feel? I don't want her to get hurt."

"Yeah. You're right. Friends though, right?" Henry did his best cover any disappointment he felt.

Shooting him a sideways glance, she said, "Absolutely. My best friend." Henry was unsure in that moment if that was supposed to be comforting or not, and Elizabeth wasn't sure either, but it was settled.


	6. Chapter 6

AN: Thank you to everyone who takes the time to review. I love reading what you think. To the person that hoped for a kiss-cam scene, there was one at one time but I cut it out. LOL! I hope you enjoy!

Chapter 6

The months passed the same way the first weeks did, only Elizabeth grew closer to Beth. The upside was that Elizabeth gave Henry a lot of freedom that he never thought he'd have. She picked Beth up from school twice a week on the days she didn't have class, and Elizabeth helped her with homework and was the official overseer of dinner preparation on those nights, although Beth frequently pointed out that if anything ever seriously went awry, Elizabeth would be the last person you would want to fix a kitchen disaster. Elizabeth had begrudgingly agreed but said she could aptly determine if a 911 call was needed.

Elizabeth also kept Beth one full weekend every month so that Henry could do "regular guy stuff" as Beth deemed it. Those weekends were Beth's favorites because most of the time, they went to the farm and rode horses, cleaned the barn and sat around the fireplace eating take out from town.

The downside was that somewhere along the line, Henry fell in love with Elizabeth. The closer she became to Beth, the more endeared he was to her. He wasn't sure if Elizabeth felt the same way, but he knew that even if she did, she would never act on it. Any flirtatious behavior stopped and even Beth stopped saying things about how happy Henry was to have Elizabeth around. They became best friends, a relationship which Henry cherished, even if he wished there would be more.

Henry still took Beth monthly to see Maureen and Elizabeth noticed that Beth was always withdrawn for a couple days afterwards, but never felt it was her place to ask about their visits, and Beth never offered to share. Henry did comment that after the first time, Beth never mentioned Elizabeth to Maureen again. That sometimes made conversation difficult because Beth spent so much time with Elizabeth. She couldn't find enough to talk about that didn't include Elizabeth , and of course Maureen didn't offer much in the way of polite conversation.

Because of this, when Henry got the flu, the day before he was supposed to take Beth to see Maureen, he was fine with skipping. It was Elizabeth who said she needed to go and suggested that she take her. Henry thought it was a terrible idea and Elizabeth agreed that he may be right, but that he owed it to Beth to get her to see her mom if he could and it was possible because she'd offered. Henry rubbed a hand over his feverish face and acquiesced. If he'd been in a better state, he would have argued, but he'd come to learn that Elizabeth was equally as stubborn as Beth and sometimes the best way to deal with it was to just give in and let the chips fall where they may.

Elizabeth stood in the long line with Beth waiting to get processed so they could go to the receiving area. Beth seemed apprehensive. "Is it going to be that bad?" Elizabeth asked. Beth shrugged and pushed herself into Elizabeth's side. "Would it be better if I just stayed at the back of the room?" Beth turned and looked at her. Elizabeth could only read sheer terror in the little girl's eyes.

"You-you can't do that," Beth whimpered wide-eyed, "Henry sits by me and makes sure Mom doesn't say too many mean things. If you aren't there, who will make her stop?"

Beth buried her head in Elizabeth's stomach and held on tight. Elizabeth wrapped her arms around the little girl. 'Okay. I didn't know. I'll stay right by you. I'll try to do a good job like Henry does." Elizabeth's mind went to Henry and all of the things that he had to endure because of his sister and then she was so terrible to both him and Beth. Elizabeth's heart broke for both of them, and she steeled herself to be tough for Beth.

"Hi Patsy,' Beth said, gloomily as they finally reached the check-in area.

'My, why the long face girlie? Who's this with you today?" Patsy asked.

"This is my best friend, Elizabeth. She brought me because Henry is home sick."

"Well, I'm certainly sorry to hear that. I hope he gets to feeling better soon." Patsy said, smiling at both of them.

Beth led Elizabeth to the room where they needed to be, but she stopped just short of the doorway. "Come on Bethie. I'd like you to introduce me to your mom." Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Beth when she turned to look at her.

"You're pushing your luck calling me Bethie."

"I'm trying to be my best Henry," she smirked and poked Beth in the ribs, causing Beth to let out a small giggle. "Let's do this and then we'll do something crazy fun after, okay."

Beth stepped in and scanned the room and led Elizabeth as she headed in the direction of Maureen. Elizabeth didn't think she would've needed Beth to point Maureen out to her. Maureen and Henry shared an almost eerie resemblance, the main difference being the scowl that resided on Maureen's face, making her much less attractive.

"Hi Mom," Beth said, as she stood at the end of the table and attempted to hug her mother. Maureen made no attempt to return the gesture, but glared at Elizabeth and Elizabeth wondered if this show was just for her benefit or if this was her normal behavior. Beth gave up and retreated around the table to sit next to Elizabeth.

"I'd like to introduce myself. I'm-"

"I know who you are. I thought you were out of the picture." Maureen glared at Beth, who slumped her shoulders and stared at her lap. "You haven't been mentioned."

Elizabeth slipped her hand around Beth's hoping the little girl would not respond to that, but even as she did it, she doubted that Beth would catch on so she spoke. "I'm around. I probably just don't do much worth mentioning. There are so many other things to talk about." She felt better steering the conversation rather than reacting to it, so she continued. "Henry is sick. He thinks it's the flu."

"Why are you here?" Maureen asked.

"Because Beth wouldn't get to see you if I didn't bring her." Maureen's tone was cold and unrelenting. Elizabeth hoped that she came close to matching it.

"Well aren't you just the saint? Saving the day, bringing the orphan child to visit her poor, sad mother in prison." Maureen spat.

"I'm nowhere near a saint, Beth is far from an orphan and you can be whatever it is that you want to be. We came so you can catch up with your daughter, so Beth," Elizabeth said, turning her attention to the wide eyed girl next to her. "Why don't you tell your mom about your big Saint project you had to do for school?"

Beth smiled timidly, looking between her mother and Elizabeth. "She's not a saint yet, but-"

"I don't really give a rat's ass about some God damned saint," Maureen muttered. Beth stopped mid sentence, unsure what to do.

"Whoa!" Elizabeth said, a little louder than she intended, causing all conversations near them to stop. She looked at Beth. "Beth. Go stand over there against the wall for me."

"But I-" Beth started.

"I didn't ask you. I told you and I want you to go right now. I will call you back in a minute. Right over there. You can just lean against the wall and wait." Beth didn't move. "Bethie. Go now." Beth met Elizabeth's eyes and then looked at her mother as she rose from the table and went to stand between two corrections officers that were stationed there to keep order in the room.

Elizabeth looked over her shoulder and smiled at Beth. Then she turned back to Maureen, and narrowed her eyes, "What the fuck is your problem?"

"My problem? My problem is that I've got some bouncy ass little whore trying to snatch up my kid."

"I have absolutely nothing to do with it. You were like this before I ever met her and you've been like this the whole time that I've been around, but you didn't know it. What's it really about? Are you upset that Henry bothers to drag her up here once a month to see you? Do you have some big cable TV marathon going on that you're missing to take a couple hours a month to see your kid? Are you mad that Henry has her? Are you mad that she's even alive? What is it?"

"You can leave now." Maureen said through clenched teeth.

"Ah, so that's it." Elizabeth grinned, suddenly amused.

"That's what?" Maureen asked incredulously.

"You want Henry to stop bringing her. Then everyone can say, 'Oh poor Maureen, her pathetic family won't even bring her daughter to see her.' It's just one more thing that you think you can use to justify your awful behavior. I don't buy it. You're just seeking attention."

"You don't know shit." Maureen said, looking Elizabeth up and down. She tried to play it off, but Elizabeth could see the shift in her body language. She was on the defensive.

"Perhaps not, but I'm a lot closer than you'll ever admit. Make no mistake, I could give a rat's ass about you, but I love that little girl and she deserves to have a mother's love. She needs it, and If she doesn't get it from you, she'll go looking for it elsewhere." Elizabeth let that hang for a while, curious to see if Maureen would respond. When she didn't, Elizabeth continued. "One of these days you are going to get out of here and you could have a relationship with her or you could shit on her now for your own weird self gratification or whatever it is, and when you get out, you'll have nothing. That's really up to you. I'm going to send her over here and you better by God tell her you are sorry and hug her goodbye or it will be the last time she comes." Elizabeth rose from the table. "Don't forget to wish her a Happy Birthday. In case you forgot, it was a couple weeks ago. Don't worry. Henry covered your ass and mailed a card last time he was here, so she thinks you cared enough to send her one." Elizabeth started walking toward Beth, but turned around and took a step back and leaned over the table. "Oh, one more thing, the saint, it's Rose Duchesne. She was some nun that evangelized the frontier. Maybe you should ask her to pray for you. It couldn't hurt."

Elizabeth walked over to Beth and knelt down in front of her. "I talked with your mom about a few things and suddenly she doesn't feel very well, so I told her we'd come back and try again next month. Would you go over and tell her goodbye and that you hope she feels better soon?"

Beth eyed Elizabeth curiously and Elizabeth hoped that the girl who was oblivious to most things of this sort wouldn't call her on the lie she was telling. Cautiously, Beth started walking toward Maureen, stopping every few feet to turn back and look at Elizabeth. When she made it to her mom, she stood at the end of the table and Elizabeth was unsure what was going on. She could see Maureen's mouth move, but couldn't decipher what was being said. A moment later, Maureen leaned forward and slung an arm lazily around Beth's shoulders and then Beth turned and walked slowly back toward Elizabeth. "Are you alright?" Elizabeth asked.

"Uh huh. Let's go." Beth slipped her hand into Elizabeth's and they walked out of the room together, neither turning back to see what they left behind.

Elizabeth turned out of the prison and made her way back to the interstate. She wasn't sure if Beth would notice, but it was her plan to take her back to the science center to finish going through the building. Beth kept her head down and Elizabeth wondered how long she should wait before asking what happened. Elizabeth was lost in her own thoughts when she heard Beth speak. She shook her head, "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What did you say?"

'I want to know what you said to Mom." Beth said.

"Why?"

"Because she was different. You said something and you changed her." Beth was quiet.

"Was she nice to you?" Elizabeth asked, clearly fishing for information at this point.

"No. Not nice like you are. Not nice like a mom is supposed to be, but maybe just like she didn't hate me." Beth leaned her head against the window.

"I'm pretty sure she doesn't hate you and she never did. I think there are just a lot of things that happen inside your mom's head that make her think she's doing the right thing, when it really isn't the right thing at all." Elizabeth blindly reached over and caught her arm and squeezed it. "Have you noticed where we're going?" Beth shook her head. "I thought we would finish going through the science center to see everything we couldn't get to the day we went to the ballgame."

Beth's eyes lit up. "Really? There was that really cool bridge building thing I wanted to do. And the earthquake simulator."

"What do you say we eat first and then go?" Elizabeth offered, realizing it was almost lunch time.

"Can we get McDonald's?" Beth said, pointing ahead to an exit. "Henry won't ever take me there. We can eat in the parking lot so it will be faster."

"Sounds like a good idea. Then we'll actually get home sooner and we can make sure Henry is okay." Elizabeth caught the peculiar look on Beth's face, but it was gone in an instant. She looked a lot like both Maureen and Henry in that moment, which was interesting because her physical features were very different, but she'd definitely inherited that expression.

It was late in the afternoon when they were finally on their way back. Beth was unusually quiet given the fun she'd had at the science center. She held her new book, "100 Kitchen Science Experiments" tightly against her chest, and stared straight ahead. "Okay, spill it. What's wrong?" Elizabeth asked.

"Nothing," Beth mumbled.

"I know you too well. You should be talking nonstop about everything that you did this afternoon." Elizabeth glanced at her, "So what gives? Is it about your mom?"

"Do you love Henry?" Beth asked. Elizabeth felt the oxygen being sucked from her lungs. It took her a few seconds to gain enough back to speak.

"Of course. I love you both," she said, hoping that would be enough of an answer to satisfy Beth.

"Then why do you go out with other guys?" Elizabeth's mind reeled. First, she didn't realize that Beth knew she dated. Second, she didn't realize that Beth would put that together with the fact that she wasn't dating Henry, so that might mean something.

"Henry and I decided a long time ago that we wouldn't ever be anything but just good friends." Elizabeth hoped that would end the discussion.

"Why?" she asked, and Elizabeth sighed.

"It's just not a good idea. Henry and I both love you and we don't want to take a chance on you getting hurt."

"I don't understand."

"Some things you don't need to understand. You're eight. You have a lot of life to live and you'll understand more as you get older," Elizabeth said with finality. Beth was silent for several minutes.

"I want you to be in my family," Beth said finally.

"I don't have to be dating Henry to be your family. I already consider you part of my family and have for a long time." Elizabeth acknowledged.

"Really?" Beth was surprised.

"Yep. You're most certainly my family.". Beth grinned at Elizabeth's admission. She rested back in the seat and started studying her book.

They stopped to get a few groceries once they got back to town and walked into the small apartment right at 7, twelve hours after leaving that morning. Beth went to work heating up a couple cans of soup while Elizabeth went to check on Henry.

He was asleep, but she could see that he had been up. The glass of water was mostly gone, part of a sleeve of crackers had been consumed. She sat on the edge of the bed and placed her hand on Henry's head to see if he still had a fever. He didn't, or if he did, it was very low. She kept her hand there and studied him.

He was handsome. A warmth spread through her. She moved her fingers through his light brown hair and then she leaned down and kissed his forehead. She snapped back up and pulled her hand back, wondering what exactly it was that she was doing and why she'd done it. Elizabeth quickly edged off the bed and backed out of the room. "Is he awake?" Beth asked, stirring the soup.

Elizabeth paused, trying to put herself back together. "Um, no, not right now, but he's been up and I think his fever is gone."

"Are you okay?" Beth asked. "Your cheeks are pink. Are you getting sick too? I don't think I can handle both of you at the same time."

Elizabeth chuckled. "I think I'm fine." She pulled the bread and peanut butter from the cabinet and together they made a couple sandwiches to go with their soup, making sure to save some for Henry. They ate and Elizabeth helped Beth get ready for bed, braiding her hair, and then reading another chapter from their latest book, "Anne of Green Gables."

As Elizabeth tucked her into bed, Beth murmured, "Thank you."

"For what?" Elizabeth asked.

"For making Mom say she loves me. Even if she doesn't, it was nice that she said it."

"I didn't make your mom say anything." She brushed the back of her hand along Beth's cheek. "I am sure she loves you. She just doesn't know how to show it. Maybe as time goes on, she will learn from you. You are excellent at showing you love someone."

Beth smiled. "Do you remember when I hit you in the face?"

"Pretty sure I won't be forgetting that. Ever," Elizabeth chuckled. Beth laughed too.

"You didn't yell at me. If anyone had a reason to yell at me, it should've been you, but you didn't. You were very nice about the whole thing, even though I know it hurt. You showed me love. You are the first person besides my family to love me and try to understand me and not yell at me because of who I am. That's why I love you."

Elizabeth quickly wiped away the tear that managed to escape. "When my parents died, it took a long time to kind of get over that. I mean, you don't get over it, but it gets better-more manageable. Then my grandparents died and my brother is a little like your mom in that he doesn't show his love the way I'd like him to, and I get my feelings hurt about that. It happened all the time. He drives me crazy, but you have made that whole situation so much better with your love. You are smart, and funny, and pretty and you are unique. I know there are some things that you don't like about yourself or that you wish people didn't notice, but those things are important too. They make you, you. And I love you!"

Beth scrambled out from under the covers and wrapped her arms around Elizabeth. Their tears mingled where their cheeks they held each other for a long time. Elizabeth finally separated them. "You've had a big day and it's time for you to go to sleep."

"Lay down with me, would you?" Elizabeth smiled and climbed into bed next to Beth knowing that everything was right in both of their worlds.


	7. Chapter 7

AN: Enjoy! I'm loving all of the reviews. Please keep them coming.

Chapter 7

"Beth, baby, you have to stop crying," Elizabeth whispered into her ear.

"B-b-but I-I-I can't," Beth's voice shuddered. "I'll m-m-miss you so m-m-much."

"We've talked about this. It's only for the summer. I've already talked to Henry about coming up to visit next month, but we've both got to work. Henry's job is in Pittsburgh and mine is here. It's important you go. I know you're missing your Grandma Ann, so now you get to spend some special time with her and show her how you've grown up this year. You can read her stories and can cook dinner for her and Grandpa Pat. I promise, it will go by quickly, and I'll call on Sunday and Wednesday nights, no matter what." Elizabeth pushed the stray hairs from Beth's tear soaked face. "It's time to go. Henry's waiting." She kissed the top of Beth's head and gave her a quick hug before herding her into the car and closing the door behind her.

Elizabeth leaned into the car willing herself to hold back her tears for Beth's sake. She thought she would be fine, but when Beth started crying, Elizabeth found it extremely difficult not to join her. She felt Henry's presence behind her, and she turned into him as he enveloped her.

He held her tight and she grew hazy as his scent overwhelmed her. He kissed her forehead. "I'll miss you too. Call me later," he whispered, his hot breath fanning down her face. Then he was gone, getting into the car and pulling away. Beth waved out the window and Elizabeth waved back, already counting the days until she could go to Pittsburgh.

Just like clockwork, Elizabeth was stationed by the phone at 8 pm almost every night. Most nights she talked with Beth, but sometimes Henry waited until Beth was asleep and the two of them talked, just like at school. It was the best part of both of their days and they looked forward to it.

Henry didn't have much of a social life other than the group of ROTC guys that he hung around with. He'd been on a few dates, but they hadn't amounted to much. Mostly when he went out, he went to a party or a bar with a group of guys, and he was fine with that.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, had a pretty steady stream of boyfriends. Most she only dated a few weeks or maybe a month. Either she tired of them, or they tired of her rather unusual set of priorities. Her latest love interest had hung around longer than any other. Elizabeth and Scott had dated for just over four months. He really liked her, so he tolerated her last minute schedule changes to pick up Beth from school, or arranging a date on Saturday morning so she could stay with Beth on Saturday evening, allowing Henry to go out. Scott was really waiting for summer, when the real objects of Elizabeth's affection were gone and he could actually spend some time with her and woo her away from Beth-and Henry.

About three weeks into summer, Scott thought he was making real progress. Elizabeth hadn't canceled a date. She actually had things to talk about besides Beth, and of course, Henry. Things were progressing physically. Elizabeth had been pretty hesitant to do much, but since they had been spending more time together, she was opening up. Scott thought he was in.

Scott was ecstatic when she invited him to come back to the farm house after their dinner together. It was the first Monday in June and it was Beth's first day at day camp, so even though Monday wasn't usually a day she talked to Beth, she wanted to see how camp went. Elizabeth fully explained all of this, but Scott heard none of it. He had stopped listening at come home with me.

The next hour saw Elizabeth and Scott on the couch in the farm house in a heavy make out session. Elizabeth's sundress straps hung at her elbows and Scott's hands were up her dress, gripping her ass. Scott was kissing his way down her neck, when a repetitive beep permeated the room. He tried to ignore it, but Elizabeth crawled off of his lap and pulled her straps back up on her shoulders. She walked across the room and shut off the alarm clock that set on the half wall near the kitchen.

"What is that for?" he asked.

"I told you that Beth is calling at 8 to tell me about day camp, and it's ten minutes to 8. I can't be answering the phone sounding like we were just doing," she gestured wildly with her hand at him, "what we were just doing. Do you want a glass of water?"

"What the hell Lizzie? You can't just be in the middle of _this_ " he made his own hand gesture, "and then up and leave."

"I'm not leaving. I'm pausing. It'll only take 10 or 15 minutes and then we can get back to it. I promise." She kissed him hard, leaving him dizzy. Scott dropped his head back on the couch. "This shit is so irritating," he muttered.

When the phone rang, she snatched it out of the cradle before the full ring ended, "Hello… Henry… Oh she did… how fun…"

Scott rounded the corner and stood in the doorway watching Elizabeth as she talked on the phone. She sat on a kitchen barstool that she'd pulled close to the phone on the wall. One leg dangled down, the other pulled close to her chest, her heel on the edge of the seat and her chin on her knee. She threw her head back and laughed letting her leg fall. Her smile lit up her entire face and it literally took his breath away, her laugh contagious. Scott smiled in spite of himself. "She did not say that." Elizabeth said and then laughed again. "And then she was asleep? Oh my gosh, that is funny."

Scott could tell the direction of the conversation changed. She pulled her leg back up and wrapped an arm around it holding it in place. Elizabeth rested her cheek on her knee and bit her lower lip while she listened. She was invested. Her whole body listened to him and Scott was jealous. "And your mom is alright with that... How is everyone taking it… Does Beth understand… I can come up this weekend if it would help… I'll call tomorrow night and check in…

Elizabeth looked up and saw Scott standing in the door, and she smiled at him like she just remembered he was there. She smiled, but it wasn't the same smile and he knew in that moment that it would never be the same smile. Scott stepped back into the living room. "Okay Henry. We can talk about it more tomorrow night and make a plan. Um hmm, yeah. Tell her I love her and if she's ready early in the morning, she can call me before she leaves. I don't have to be at work until 9 tomorrow. Alright. Bye."

Scott heard the phone click in the cradle and she quickly appeared in front of him, where he sat on the couch She pushed his knees apart and knelt in front of him, laying her head on his chest. "I'm sorry. Henry's mom has refused to do more cancer treatments. They're all upset. It took a little longer than I thought. Thank you for being patient." She ran her hand up his chest and to the nape of his neck pulling him to her. "Now, where were we?"

She was going to kiss him, but he gently pushed her back. "I think I'll be leaving now."

Elizabeth was confused and let her body fall back to sit on the floor. "Where are you going Scott?"

He scooted to the edge of the couch. "Lizzie. I've tried, but I'm not cut out to be your seconds. Your heart isn't with me and it never will be. I foolishly thought that if I could have you to myself this summer, that you'd come around, but I was naive. You're in love with Henry and there's no room for anyone else." Scott stood and held out his hand and she took it. He pulled her to her feet. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he leaned in and kissed her cheek. "I wish you well Lizzie." Then he let her go and walked through the living room and out the front door.

Elizabeth spent the rest of the week going through the motions, her mind separate from her body. She wasn't all that upset at Scott breaking up with her. She liked him alright, but she knew she wasn't invested in the relationship and she was actually glad that he'd ended it before they had gone much farther physically.

While Scott breaking up with her didn't bother her, what he said shook her to the core. He said she was in love with Henry. She spent a lot of time thinking about that. She quickly recognized that when she thought of Henry, she felt differently. She felt at peace. She didn't think that necessarily meant she was in love with him, but maybe that was what Scott saw and interpreted as such.

She needed to hash this out, but there wouldn't be a good time this weekend. This weekend was about Henry's family. His mom wasn't doing well and he and Beth needed her. Her own issues would need to be put on the back burner for a while.

She pulled up in front of the McCord home in Pittsburgh late Friday night. Henry came bounding down the steps to meet her. Elizabeth was leaning in the back seat reaching for her suitcase. When she stood, she saw him and her heart felt complete, and the feelings of peace, warmth and complete contentment washed over her. She didn't know how or when it happened, but now seeing Henry, she felt what Scott knew. He had been right and that knowledge was overwhelming. She rounded the end of the car and tried to keep herself in check. Henry met her on the sidewalk, tears in his eyes. "I'm so glad you're finally here," he said, pulling her into an embrace.

For the next couple hours they sat together on the porch swing and Elizabeth held Henry as he told her the prognosis given to his mother and how she'd made the decision to stop treatments and how angry and heartbroken he was. Then there was Beth. "I don't know how I'm going to get through it and I have to somehow help her too."

"We'll do it together. You won't be ever alone. I promise." She laid her cheek on the top of his head. After a few seconds, Henry pulled back to look at her.

A mischievous grin crossed his face. "Scott's going to appreciate that." She shot him a look and rolled her eyes. "Sorry," he quickly added. "It just popped into my head. I shouldn't have said it."

"I'm pretty sure Scott won't care. He broke up with me earlier in the week."

Henry sat up fully. "Oh my gosh. Elizabeth, why didn't you say something? Here I am blubbering about myself and-"

"It's really okay." she interrupted. "I'm fine." She paused, ready to stop and change the subject, but Henry was looking at her. He was waiting for more. He knew there was more because he knew her better than she knew herself. She sighed. "He said there wasn't room in my heart for him."

"Of course you love Beth, but not like that," Henry scoffed.

"It wasn't Beth he was referring to," Elizabeth said slowly, meeting his eyes.

"Oh?" he said, and then caught on. "Oh." There was a pause. "Did you tell him that we aren't like that?"

"He left and I didn't really care that much to be honest. Although I would have told him that before tonight." Elizabeth laced her fingers together in her lap, gearing up for what she was about to say.

Henry furrowed his brow. "What about tonight?"

Elizabeth shifted so she sat close facing him. "I denied it all week and gave myself reason after reason that it wasn't true, but when I saw you tonight come walking down the sidewalk toward me, I felt like I'd been walking around as just half a person and being with you made me whole. When I'm with you I feel your warmth. You fill me up beyond what I thought was possible and you leave me with a sense of peace that at one point in my life, I never thought I'd have again."

There was more and she was trying to figure out if she could say it when his hand cupped her cheek, his fingers woven through her hair. Her breathing got shallower in anticipation of what was going to happen next. Henry pulled her so that their foreheads rested together and tip of their noses brushed against each other. "I can't tell you the moment I knew I loved you, but I know that I will love you for the rest of my life." He tipped his head down and their lips barely touched. Yearning for knowledge of him, she leaned in, letting him know she was willing. He held her head firmly as his lips wrapped around hers and he sucked her top lip gently before running his tongue along the bottom edge. Her arm was still wrapped around his back, the free hand slid up his chest and neck where it stopped to play with his earlobe. Parting her lips, she tilted her head and invited him in, stoking a fire that had been ready to burn since they met. As their tongues touched for the first time, she felt his pulse quicken beneath the palm of her hand, and she melted into him.

Henry had been devastated by the news that his mother had opted to forego any future rounds of chemotherapy or radiation. She had laid out her reasoning and while he could understand her reasons, he couldn't wrap his head around her giving up. Ann McCord had a lot to live for and it seemed to him like she just wanted to die. He'd struggled all week and wanted badly to talk to Elizabeth, but he knew that she would drop everything and come if he told her. She was coming over the weekend anyway, so he willed himself to wait until Friday.

From the moment Beth went to bed, Henry paced in front of the living room window watching for Elizabeth. It was late and everyone else had long since gone to bed when she pulled up in front of the house. He was out the door before she could even get out of the car. It had been more than a month since he'd seen her and when she looked at him, he couldn't hold it together any longer. He pulled her into his arms feeling grounded for the first time in a month.

They made it up the walk and into the porch swing. He told her everything and she didn't say much, but she held him close and cried with him. When he talked about Bethie and how hard it would be to help her navigate this, Elizabeth said that she would always be there. Henry wasn't sure why, but the image of Scott always tagging along after her and Bethie popped into his mind and it struck him as funny. "Scott's going to appreciate that."

There was banter and a profession of his love and now his tongue was in her mouth and while he'd dreamed it often, Henry didn't think it would actually ever happen. Truthfully, he never allowed himself to believe that it might happen. Now, he broke apart from her and studied her. "Where does this leave us?" he asked.

"If I was going to leave, I would've already left," Elizabeth stated. "You're stuck with me McCord." Henry chuckled and kissed her again.

"There is no one I'd rather be stuck with." He kissed her once more. "I hope this is okay, because I've spent quite a bit of time pondering all of the ways and places I can kiss you. Touch you. Hold you. Make you scream."

"Henry!" she giggled, poking him "Stop that. Don't even tease. We're at your parents."

"It's almost 2 am, we need to go to bed. You'll be lucky if Bethie isn't dragging you out at 6." Henry picked up Elizabeth's suitcase and pushed the door open for her. Once inside, they snuck quietly upstairs.

"Where am I sleeping?" she whispered.

Henry looked a little guilty. "I forgot to plan that part." A grin spread across his face. "Come on." He led her to the end of the hall. There was a double bed in the middle of what was obviously his room.

"I can't sleep with you," she whispered. "What about Beth?"

"We'll tell her the truth. You got here late and I forgot to make you a bed, so I shared mine." Elizabeth shrugged and moved her suitcase to a chair in the corner and pulled out an old pair of shorts and a tee shirt to change into. "What are you doing?" Henry asked, panicked.

Elizabeth gave him a confused look. 'I'm putting on my pajamas so I can go to sleep, per your instructions."

"Don't be a smart aleck. I meant why are you changing right here in the middle of the room in front of me?"

"I didn't know we were being super careful around each other. A few minutes ago, you were making me scream, remember?" She shot him a wide grin. "If it makes you uncomfortable, you can turn around."

"I talk a big game," he said turning around. Elizabeth laughed and then covered her mouth worried about how loud she was being. She quickly changed.

"Alright, you can turn around now." She was wearing short, shorts with a matching top pink top that skimmed the waistband of the shorts. When she moved, slivers of her belly peeked out.

"So what happened to the baggy long sleeved shirts and flannel pants you wore at my place?"

She looked down and smiled. "Your place was cold and I wasn't expecting to be seeing you wearing this. I thought I'd be sleeping in your sister's room. I'm going to the bathroom to brush my teeth. You can change in private." She winked and left the room, toothbrush in hand.

Henry shook his head, but quickly changed so he was ready to go when she returned. They traded places and when Henry returned. Elizabeth was under the covers "Do you have a side? I don't mind either way." He flipped off the light and climbed it to the opposite side of the bed.

"This is fine," he said. Elizabeth lay on her back staring at the ceiling. Henry rolled to face her. "Do you think it would be appropriate to kiss you goodnight?" The moonlight shone through the window casting soft light across their pillows, illuminating Elizabeth's face.

"I think it would be appropriate, but only one," she said, smiling.

"I guess I should make it count then," Henry said. Elizabeth started to giggle, but gasped when Henry rolled on top of her, pinning her to the bed. He grinned at her and her piercing look did all sorts of things to his insides. "I love you," he murmured before lowering his lips to hers. His tongue ran along her teeth and she smiled against him.

"I need my arms," she said as he pulled away from her. He shifted his weight so she could get her arms out from under the covers.

"That's much better." She smiled at him. "I think we were right about here." She pulled his head down to her lips and kissed him again.

"I thought you said only one kiss."

"It was a continuation. It was still just one," Elizabeth stated matter of factly. She bit her bottom lip and grinned slyly. "There's something I've been curious about for quite a while. Would you do me a favor?"

Henry smiled slightly, but looked unsure, "I guess so."

She pushed at Henry. "Sit up." He scooted over and sat back on his feet next to her side. She sat up and leaned in close to him, whispering, "Okay, so this might sound a little weird, but every time you stand close behind me or hug me, your chest feels rock hard. I just want to see if it's close to what I imagined."

"So you want me to-"

"Take off your shirt." Elizabeth finished.

Henry grinned at her. "Do I get to ask you to take an item of clothing off in return?"

"Is that a good idea?" she raised her eyebrows at him. She kind of liked this new flirty thing they had going on. It reminded her of the first few times they had been around each other. Henry grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head revealing his defined pecs and chiseled abs. Elizabeth swallowed thickly. "Yeah, mmm hmm." She breathed out. "That's pretty much like I imagined. Okay, I'm good." She sounded a little breathy and it was hard to tell in the pale light, but Henry would've bet she was beet red. "Good night Henry," she said and rolled over toward the edge of the bed.

Henry grinned and pulled his shirt back on in case Bethie ended up in his room at some point during the night. He lay down and was almost asleep when he heard Elizabeth's soft voice. "Is it okay if I'm not quite ready to say it yet?"

Henry rolled over and propped himself up on his elbow. "Say what?" he asked.

She looked over her shoulder. "That I love you."

"You just said it," he grinned.

"It's not the same and you know it. I just don't know that I'm ready, and when I say it, I want to be sure, not just as a response to what you say. Does that make sense?"

Henry nodded, "I'm good with that." Elizabeth reached behind her and caught his hand and awkwardly brought it up to her lips and kissed it.

"Thank you," she said and then turned back over fully and Henry did the same.


	8. Chapter 8

AN: I am overwhelmed by the positive response I've had from this story. To only say thank you seems like too little, but that's really all I've got, so thank you I really appreciate it. It makes my day brighter when I see them pop-up. I finished Chapter 10 last night AND I have the weekend off, so I'm hoping to finish the story by Sunday. I'll still keep posting a chapter a day just because I know it's fun to have something new to read every day. Now, if a few others want to do that as well, so I have new things to read every day, that would be awesome! LOL

Chapter 8

It was barely light outside when Elizabeth was pulled from sleep by gagging sounds coming from the bathroom next door. Her first thought was Beth and she quickly slipped out of bed and hurried to the bathroom. Finding the door shut, she ruled out Beth, but turned the knob and when it was unlocked, she peeked in. Ann McCord, was on her knees, arms hugging the rim, retching into the toilet. Elizabeth immediately wet a cloth and filled a glass of water sitting next to Ann on the edge of the bathtub. She set her things on the back of the toilet and rubbed Ann's back. After several minutes, Ann sat back and Elizabeth offered her the cloth. Ann wiped her mouth and took the water that was waiting for her. Finally Ann sat back against the tub. Elizabeth slid down quickly to get out of the woman's way. "I've reached yet another milestone in my life," she said.

"What's that?"

"Welcoming house guests in the bathroom. That firmly falls under 'things I never thought I'd do.'"

"I find it quite intimate and feel very welcomed," Elizabeth said, keeping a straight face until Ann smacked her leg. She giggled. "Do you think you're ready to stand?"

"Yeah, I'm alright for now." Elizabeth stood and offered the older woman a hand up.

"Are you up for good or do would you like to try going back to bed?"

"I'm up. I spend too much time in bed not sleeping as it is." Elizabeth didn't ask if Ann wanted help, she just slipped her arm around Ann's waist and they slowly descended the stairs and then sat down in the living room. "How are you doing? It's been a while since we've talked," Ann asked.

"Since Beth's First Communion in April, I believe. I'm good. Work is fine. I miss Beth and Henry, but there's always lots to do on the farm. There is a hired hand that comes and takes care of the horses and keeps things going, but it's during the summer that I go around and really tackle the bigger projects and figure out what we can do ourselves and what needs to be hired out. Henry doesn't know it yet, but if he gets to come down for the 4th of July, he's going to learn how to fix fence."

Ann laughed. "I'll be sure to let that be a surprise. Beth will love it though." Elizabeth agreed. Ann studied Elizabeth for a moment. "I suppose Henry told you." Elizabeth took her hand in acknowledgement. "He's angry."

"He is, but he'll come to understand. It just might take a while. He's worried about Beth. That he won't know how to help her through this."

"That's the one thing I hate most about this damned cancer." Elizabeth gave her a curious look, unsure what she meant. "Henry shouldn't be in the position he's in. He shouldn't have to be a father, especially to someone only a few years younger than himself. He had to become an adult overnight. He's done it with more skill and grace than I could've ever imagined. I wanted him to stay home and go to school here in Pittsburgh, so he could still have us for support. He argued and fought tooth and nail for us to allow him to go ahead and go to UVA. I see now how that was meant to be, but it came at a price."

"I know you struggle not getting to see Beth all of the time. I'm sure it's hard. I've only had a little taste of it and I'm finding it to be miserable."

"I don't think you will ever truly know what a blessing you've been to this family. Beth has overcome so much, but she still struggles, especially in the way of making friends and being accepted. You coming into their lives was a God send. I can't imagine what Beth's life would've looked like without you this past year."

"She's given me more than I can ever begin to tell you. I would give my life for her."

"And that's why I want to ask you something. I was going to wait until we could have a sit down with Pat and Henry, but Pat and I have already talked about it, and Henry will find out soon enough. I want to know if you would consider being the alternate foster parent, should something ever happen to Henry. Right now, Pat and I are listed second, but given my health, I won't be around forever and Pat just doesn't feel equipped to care for Beth by himself. You would have to go through all of the foster parenting classes and such and be approved. Like I said, it would only be if something were to happen to Henry."

"What about Maureen?" Elizabeth interrupted. "She'll get out of prison here in another year or so. Maybe she would want-"

"That will never happen. She forfeited her rights when Beth was born. It is only out of Henry's sense of duty to his sister that he even takes Beth to see Maureen. I love my daughter dearly, but she does not get to be part of this equation at all. Even if she totally turns her life around, I don't think any of us are willing to jeopardize Beth's progress and her future by allowing Maureen to have any decision making authority in her life."

Elizabeth flopped back on the couch. "I didn't know about all of that. I just assumed that once Maureen got out and stayed clean that she would get Beth back." She thought about that for a while. "So Henry knew when he took her that he would likely be keeping her indefinitely?"

"There are a few scenarios where he wouldn't, but he went into it knowing that it was probable that he would essentially be Beth's father." Elizabeth was stunned that at 18, Henry would agree to such an undertaking, but at the same time, when she thought about it, he loved Beth so much that there was no way he wouldn't, no matter the cost or inconvenience to his own life. Her heart swelled with this knowledge and tears threatened to fall.

"Excuse me Ann. I'll be back in a minute." Elizabeth dashed up the stairs and down the hall stopping in front of Henry's door. Quietly, she opened the door and looked in on him. He was sleeping sprawled out across the middle of the bed, covers half on, half off. She smiled and made her way across the room and onto the bed. Crawling up beside him, she rested on her elbow, her face even with his. She kissed the corner of his mouth gently and then again until he stirred.

He stared drowsily at her, "Hey babe, what are you doing?" he said, his voice scratchy from sleep. She swallowed thickly. Man, he was hot.

"Babe?" she asked, amusement in her voice.

"Yeah. Is that alright?"

"As long as you aren't calling all of your other women that," she smirked.

"Never. You been up long?"

She nodded. "I just wanted to tell you I'm ready."

Henry squinted his eyes near closed, still waking up. "Ready for what?"

Running her hand through his hair, she brushed her lips against his. "I. Love. You." She kissed him and he couldn't come up with any sort of witty comeback. He only felt her pressed against him and prayed that one day she would choose to wake up beside him forever. "I love you so very much Henry Patrick McCord. You are an incredible man and I only hope that I will be able to show you how much I love you every day of your life." Henry grinned widely, and flipped her so that she was underneath him and he kissed her again, leaving her flushed and breathless.

"Are you two fucking?" Beth asked loudly from the doorway.

Henry leaped off the bed as they both yelled, "NO!"

Their immediate and loud response surprised Beth. She looked like she was thought she was in trouble and was ready to cry. Elizabeth started laughing. "Come here Beth. Sorry we startled you. No, that isn't what we were doing." Elizabeth's voice grew serious. "But we talked about using that word. How you are never to use it?" Beth hung her head, and Elizabeth pulled her to sit at the edge of the bed. "Listen, we do need to talk to you though." Elizabeth looked over at Henry, who now came to sit behind her on the bed. He was looking at her with full on deer in the headlight eyes, so Elizabeth read that as okay to do the talking on this one.

"Do you remember when we talked about how Henry and I decided that we would only be friends?"

"Where am I for all of these conversations?" Henry asked. Elizabeth shot him a look over her shoulder and he raised his hands, signalling her to continue.

"I remember, because you said that you didn't want me to get hurt." Beth said.

"Right. Well, it seems that even though we really tried to just be friends, somewhere along the way, we fell in love." Elizabeth felt Henry scoot closer and place a hand on her shoulder. She reached up and covered his hand with her own.

Beth sat quietly for a moment and then she got a confused look on her face. "Are you telling me this because now you are going to be playing kissy face all of the time?"

"No/Yes," they said at the same time. Elizabeth elbowed Henry. "No, that's not why we're telling you. Although perhaps we may be generally more affectionate toward each other." Beth started giggling and when Elizabeth looked over her shoulder, Henry was wildly nodding his head " She smacked his leg. "Would you please stop?"

Beth was still laughing. "This is going to be great. I can already tell."

"Anyway, the reason we're telling you this is because I'm going to be around permanently. And, I have decided to go through all of the foster care classes, and get approved so I could be your legal guardian should anything ever happen and Henry couldn't take care of you anymore." She looked over her shoulder at Henry. "You missed that conversation too. It just happened."

"What's going to happen to Henry?" Concern edged its way into Beth's voice.

"We don't plan on anything happening. It's more of a just in case kind of thing. And you know how Henry is in ROTC? When he gets done with college, he's going to join the Marines. Doing work with the Marines might mean that he has to go away for a while. If that happens, then I would take care of you just while he's gone. Like I said, we don't think anything bad will happen, but in case something comes up, you wouldn't have to worry about who would take care of you. I would take you."

"Okay. You would do an alright job," Beth affirmed.

"I appreciate your vote of confidence," Elizabeth commented, smiling.

Henry tugged on her shoulder and she turned and looked at him. "You're going to be the number 2?" He held her gaze. "Is Mom downstairs?" he asked softly.

"Yeah," Elizabeth answered.

Never breaking eye contact with Elizabeth, Henry spoke to Beth. "Bethie, go downstairs and ask Grandma if she wants you to make her a scrambled egg for breakfast. Make yourself one too. Elizabeth and I will be down shortly." Beth backed off the bed. "Close the door behind you." Henry instructed. As the door softly shut, he said, "I can't believe you would do that."

"What do you mean? Of course I would do that. I love her and I love you. I don't want either of you to worry." Tears welled up in Henry's eyes. "Hey. Henry, what is it?"

Henry shook his head. "There was a time not so long ago that I thought it would always just be Bethie and I. Then she would grow up and I'd be all alone and that's just what my life would be. I can't say that I liked it, but I accepted it. Then you show up and gave me hope that there could be something more." Tears fell down his cheeks. "I'm being dumb. I shouldn't be this emotional about it."

"It's not dumb. You made a huge decision based on unconditional love. You knowingly sacrificed your idea for how your life would be to give Beth a better life." Elizabeth wiped away his tears with her thumbs. You are a true hero. My hero." She closed her lips around his, relishing the softness and warmth. He tilted his head and parted his lips. She ran her tongue underneath his top lip and sucked it. He groaned into her mouth sending shock waves rippling through her body. He pushed her down on the bed, his hands tangled in her hair preventing them from roaming elsewhere on her body. He pulled away from her mouth and kissed his way up her jaw and nibbled her ear lobe. She moaned his name, "Henry. Oh God. We have to stop."

"Why?" his response muffled as he kissed her neck.

"Because it's too fast. We need to slow down."

"I can go slow." He drug his tongue back along her jaw to her lips. Elizabeth felt the pull centered between her legs beginning to ache.

"That's worse," She covered his mouth with her hand. "I'm serious. I'm not ready to go that far yet."

"Okay." Henry released her. "You set the pace." He let out a heavy breath.

"I'm sorry. I'm just not ready for all that stuff. I can't go from nothing to full on making love in a day. I don't care how much you turn me on."

"Don't be sorry. Just talk to me." He grinned, "I turn you on?"

"Yeah, like no one else ever has. I think that's the issue. I've been further, but I've always had control of myself. I could just up and walk away any time. With you, even just kissing like that, I can feel my control slipping away, and that scares me." Elizabeth pulled her eyes away from him.

"So you've never?"

"Not all the way." she mumbled. He grinned at her widely. She glanced up and saw his smile. "Don't tease me about it," she said, hurt.

"No. That's not it at all." He brushed her blonde waves away from her face. "I haven't either." She looked at him in disbelief. "Really. I had a girlfriend for almost a year in high school and we were getting close, but then all the stuff came up with Beth and she decided that wasn't for her and broke up with me, and I haven't really had the opportunity since."

"So, we're in this together?" she asked.

"Yes. Together."

"Always."


	9. Chapter 9

AN: I hope you enjoy this. I have one more chapter already written, so you will definitely get an update tomorrow. Today, two of my kids are sick, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get accomplished. Please leave reviews and if you have a story idea, try writing it. I would love to see some new works!

Chapter 9

October rolled around and Henry and Elizabeth sat on the deck at the farmhouse watching Beth play on the new swing set they had just built. "This is nice," Henry said. "I think it's the first time I've sat down since we moved."

"Yes, and I didn't sit down for two months before that."

He squeezed her hand. "That's because you are amazing." She laughed.

They decided that instead of Elizabeth having a dorm room and Henry and Beth living in campus family housing, that they would all three move to the farmhouse. They had the 20 minute commute every morning, but they had all of the conveniences of an actual home and Elizabeth got to stay more involved with the farm. Beth thought her life couldn't get any better. She could ride "her" pony every day. She had her own room that she helped decorate and she lived with Elizabeth and Henry at the same time.

Elizabeth spent the last part of July and the first part of August getting the house ready. She hadn't changed anything since her grandparents died, because it still felt like their house, but once Henry and Beth were moving in, she decided it was time to move on. Will had been non committal at best and finally said he could care less, so she just promised not to mess with his stuff.

Once she got the go ahead from Will, she set to work and in no time there was new paint on most of the walls, a different room layout and new carpeting in the main areas. She pulled her childhood bedroom furniture out of the storage area in the garage and set it up in her old room for Beth. She moved into her grandparents' bedroom and purchased new furniture for it, not quite able to take their old set for her own, and turned what had been her grandpa's office into a bedroom for Henry. Henry had quite the collection of books, so all of the book cases stayed and the large walnut desk and arm chairs were moved out to make room for new bedroom furniture.

It was true that Elizabeth had made a sizable dent in the yearly amount of money she received from the trust her parents had the forethought to set up for her and Will, but when she looked around the place, she felt much lighter. Some of it had to do with Beth and Henry joining her soon, but most of it was because while there were still some elements of her grandparents there, the place was now hers to make memories in, not just a place to relive the old ones.

Beth had been thrilled with her room, so much so that she spilled the beans to Maureen the moment she saw her at their next visit. Much to Henry's surprise, Maureen didn't respond negatively, or at least a bad as he thought she would. She let Beth prattle on about her canopy bed and soft pink paint on the walls and vanity with the large mirror where Beth pretended to put on her makeup. At the end she said, "It sounds nice." To Henry she said, "Awful lot of money to spend on a kid that ain't even yours."

Beth was unphased saying, "Elizabeth made my room nice because she loves me and she can give me a nice room so she did." She said it with such finality that Maureen didn't even have a hateful comeback for that.

Now they were back in the full swing of classes and school and Elizabeth and Henry found it difficult to carve out much time for themselves. First semester had been challenging, learning to live in the same house, dividing duties, and making sure that Beth was taken care of. But they had managed and thoroughly enjoyed Christmas break. They were able to have a lengthy stay in Pittsburgh and spend a lot of time with Patrick and Ann, who was growing weaker by the day. Second semester had started and was equally, if not more, demanding than the previous one. Each had an evening class but they fell on different nights which meant they hardly saw each other through the week. Elizabeth was surprised to find Henry still up when she got home from a study group around midnight on a Tuesday in January. He was dozing on the couch, but most nights, he would've already been in bed. She leaned over the back of the couch and kissed his forehead. Opening his eyes, he gave her a big smile. "Hey stranger!"

"I know. We're like two ships passing in the night." She dumped her belongings at the foot of the couch and curled up next to him. "I've missed you."

Henry tipped her head back. Kissing her fully on the mouth, he rendered her senseless. "And I've missed you," he said. "What do you think about sneaking in a little together time?"

"I'm guessing Beth is asleep," she murmured against his shoulder.

"I can check." Henry said.

"Whose room? I have to make a sandwich or something. I'm starving," she said, heading to the kitchen.

Henry followed. "Yours since I'll already be upstairs. Don't take too long."

"I'll eat a sandwich and bring one with me." She grinned at him.

Henry chuckled. "Do what you've got to do babe." He shook his head, heading up the back stairs

A few minutes later, she tiptoed up the stairs, skipping the center of the fifth step that squeaked and promised herself for at least the twentieth time that she would call someone to see if that could be fixed easily.

She peeked in on Beth herself. It was just something she always did. Her hair was splayed over the pillow and Elizabeth made a mental note to get up a few minutes earlier so she would have time to braid it. Stepping into her bedroom, she set the plate with her second sandwich on the corner of the bureau and instantaneously felt Henry behind her, his hands at her waist. "Were you hiding from me?" she asked.

"I might have tried that, but I'm a little impatient," Henry said. He pushed her hair to the side and kissed his way down her neck, pulling her shirt to the side to have better access. "I miss you." he said. "For people who are living together, we don't see each other near often enough."

"Agreed," she said. She grabbed his hands and slid them underneath her shirt. His warm hands on her bare skin felt so comforting. Elizabeth let her head fall back against Henry's shoulder as his hands wrapped around her and held her close. Reaching up, she pulled his head down so she could kiss him. Twisting around to face him, she cupped his face and stared at him. "I love you."

Henry was unsure if it was the way she looked at him or the sincerity of her statement, but a wave of arousal washed over him. "I want you so badly."

She didn't say anything right away, but held his gaze, her cheeks flushed and her lips full and red. "Then take me," she whispered before kissing him again. She kissed him with such passion, he nearly lost his bearings.

"I want our first time to be special," he said, fighting back the carnal desire to throw her to the bed.

"It will be special because it's you and I and we love each other."

"But that doesn't change the fact that I want to give you everything. I want you to feel special, because you are." He kissed her.

"You make me feel special every day," she said as she tugged at his shirt. He pulled it over his head and she ran her hands up his chest. She planted kisses along his collarbone and inhaled his scent. A shiver ran up her spine when he unbuttoned her shirt and pushed it off her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor at her feet. She gasped as his hands ran up her sides, his thumbs brushing over her bra clad breasts, her nipples hardening beneath.

Her vision was getting hazy with desire as she sought out his lips. Their tongues were sliding into each other, when they were pulled from the moment by the ring of the telephone on the bedside table. Both froze and turned to look at the phone as it rang again. "God, no," she whispered. Henry closed his eyes and took a step back from her. Elizabeth moved around the end of the bed and picked it up on the the third ring. "Hello. Yes. How long ago? We'll be on the road within the hour. See you soon."

Elizabeth turned to see Henry sitting on the edge of the bed. She stood between his legs and hugged him. "Your dad went to check on your mom and she was having a lot of difficulty breathing. He called the ambulance and she coded on the way to the hospital. They got her back, but they think it's time. We need to go." She felt Henry's tears against her bare stomach. "I know." She held him for minute before pulling back. "The bags are already packed. You just need to get toothbrushes and stuff. I'll wake Beth." She kissed the top of his head.

Within 30 minutes, they were in the car headed to Pittsburgh. Elizabeth woke Beth just enough to get socks and shoes on her. Thankfully she settled quickly in the back seat and went right back to sleep. Henry drove in silence with Elizabeth's hand wrapped around his. About two hours in, Elizabeth asked, 'How are you doing?"

"I'm fine."

"Would you like me to drive?"

"No," his voice was strained and she knew he was hurting. She did her best not to take his harsh tone personally. At some point Elizabeth dozed off because when she opened her eyes, she was surrounded by the city lights of Pittsburgh. Shortly, they pulled into the hospital and parked.

Henry looked in the back seat and sighed when he saw that Beth was still fully asleep. Elizabeth touched his cheek. "You go. We'll find our way up in a bit. Go see your mom." She pecked him on the lips, and he was out the door, headed into the hospital.

Henry had spent the last five hours praying that he would make it in time. Now as he jogged down the hall toward the ICU, he desperately wished he was anywhere else but there. Stepping into the waiting room, his younger siblings, Shane and Erin looked up. Erin rose and met Henry halfway across the room, tears streaming down her face. They held each other tight. "Is she-?"

"Dad's with her," Shane said. "There can only be one person at a time in the room. I'll tell the nurse, so Dad knows you're here." Shane disappeared through a door, and Henry and Erin sat next to each other on an upholstered bench.

"I thought I would be ready," Erin said. "It's not like we didn't know it would be coming, but now it's time and I can't let her go. What am I going to do?" Henry held his 15 year old sister and thought about how wrong the whole thing was. Erin was still a child and no child should grow up without a parent.

His mind went to Elizabeth and how she was almost 15 when her parents died. Elizabeth was pretty closed mouth about that time in her life, but he knew she was greatly affected by it. His heart broke for Erin.

Shane appeared in the doorway with their father, who suddenly looked very small. Patrick McCord held a commanding presence everywhere he went. In his high school years, Henry and Patrick were often at odds, but the dynamic shifted when Henry took Bethie with him to school. Suddenly his dad wasn't as judgemental. Henry realized that perhaps he had been the one looking for a fight. Now, Patrick looked like the shell of the man he'd been before Ann got sick.

Patrick shuffled forward and Henry stood. "Where's Beth-and Elizabeth?" he asked.

"Beth was still sleeping. Elizabeth was going to wake her and bring her up."

Patrick nodded. "Mom is in and out of it, but you can go back. It's room 6." Henry started through the door and Patrick rested a hand on his shoulder. Henry covered it with his own and squeezed. Patrick nodded.

Henry stood at the sliding glass door in front of room 6. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't swallow. He couldn't make himself walk in. He could see her from the door Henry recognized the IV line, but there were several other wires surrounding his mother. He couldn't decide if the steady beep was comforting or unsettling, but he felt both listening to it. He finally pushed the door to the side and stepped in. He approached quietly and stood next to the bed.

Ann McCord had always been a distinguished looking woman, stately even. In her mid-thirties, when her hair started to turn gray, most of her friends were dying their hair trying to preserve their natural color. Ann laughed and embraced it, opting to go for a color that resembled a new nickel. She said she figured that if people saw her with her four young and quite squirrely children and dark brown hair, they would know she was dyeing it. This way, people would wonder if she just liked the offbeat color. Henry didn't have any recollection of his mom with hair any other color, but looking down on her now, the thin hair that had managed to grow back after she stopped the treatments was a dull gray. That was symbolic, the dulling of a flamboyant woman, a light fading to darkness. Tears welled up in his eyes, but he brushed them away as he sat on the edge of the bed and reached out to touch his mom's hair.

Her eyes opened and she smiled, "Henry. You made the long trip. I didn't know if you'd be able to come." She reached out and took his hand.

"Of course we came, Mom. We wanted to see you."

"You brought Beth?" Her smile widened.

"Beth and Elizabeth are both here. Beth will come back later. How are you feeling?"

"Like death." Henry looked mortified. "Smile a bit more Henry. That was funny. They have me on some pain stuff. Makes me groggy. I heard that I almost died on the way here, so I no longer get much say in what they give me."

"They will give you what you need to make you comfortable," Henry said.

"I'd rather have some pain and know what I'm saying than be their version of comfortable and talking out of my mind," Ann huffed.

Henry laughed, "It's your plan to be difficult as long as possible, isn't it?"

"That's generally how I work. Has anyone called Maureen?"

"It's still really early Mom. I think they have to wait until 8 or something like that when the offices open." Ann nodded. "I'm tired. I want to see Beth, but I need to rest a bit first. Send your dad back. He can sit with me, okay?"

"Alright Mom, I love you." Henry leaned down and kissed her cheek, and stood, turning to go.

"Henry?" he turned back.

"Mom?"

"Thank you for being there when we couldn't. I know it wasn't the easiest thing to do, but it has eased my mind greatly. I'm not sure what we would've done otherwise." Tears formed in the corner of her eyes.

"It worked out exactly how it was supposed to Mom. And I wouldn't change a thing."

"I suppose you wouldn't," she said smiling. "I think you ended up with a great partner out of the deal."

"I did."

"You make me very proud, son." Henry once again fought the tears that pushed the rims of his eyes. "Did you say Elizabeth is here too?" Henry nodded. "I want to see her before Beth if you don't mind."

Henry stepped back and kissed her forehead. "One for the road," he said. "I'll send Dad back."

"I love you Henry," she said as he walked out the door, and it took Henry the length of the hallway to regain his composure.

When Henry returned to the waiting room, his family was there, along with Elizabeth and Beth, who was sitting in a chair on the far side of the room playing with Oreo. Henry sent his dad back and excused himself to get some coffee. Elizabeth followed him out into the hall. "How is she?"

"Dying," he said. He leaned against the wall and rubbed his eyes. "It isn't fair. She's 48. That's not old. She hasn't lived a long life. She hasn't had the chance to see her kids grow up. She didn't get to retire and travel around the country like she and dad were going to. It fucking sucks. And what about Beth? Mom is as much Beth's mom as mine. She's 8. How am I going to explain this to her so she will understand when I don't even understand." Henry slid down the wall and buried his head in his hands.

Elizabeth sat down beside him. "There is no understanding it. There's only trying to cope with it. Beth knows. Your mom has been talking to her about it for a while now. We'll get through it."

"That's easy for you to say. It's not your mom," he snapped. Elizabeth froze. Rationally she knew that Henry was just hurting and he didn't think about the words he said, but they still stung. She just sat down against the wall next to him. Eventually, he looked over at her, seemingly surprised by her presence.

"This is so much harder than I thought it would be. I thought I'd just be really sad, but that's not it at all. I'm so angry and I don't know how to let it go."

"Yeah. It will fade eventually. For now, just try to make the most of the time you have." Elizabeth pressed a kiss to his temple and patted his chest. "I'm going to get that coffee. I'll bring one back for you.".

Henry watched Elizabeth stand and walk down the hall. He was overwhelmed by his love for her and wondered how he could have so many emotions at once. He was angry about his mother's illness, her suffering and her inevitable death. He felt such confusion and loss for himself, but even more so for Beth. There was Shane and Erin who were still living at home. He was concerned how they would do living with Patrick, everyone grieving in different ways.

Inexplicably, his thoughts turned to Maureen. He shouldn't have been surprised that his mom was concerned about Maureen. He wondered if they allowed inmates to come home in such situations. He sort of doubted it. Surely they couldn't accommodate everyone who had a parent die.

Henry spent most of his childhood loathing Maureen for the way she treated the family, especially their mother. By the time he was 9, she was sneaking out at night, being returned at odd hours by the police, spending the night in juvenile detention. He remembered his parents arguing on the opposite side of his wall in the middle of the night about what to do. He often felt like they spent so much time putting out fires with Maureen, that the rest of the McCord children were an afterthought.

She was a week shy of 15, when it was discovered that she was pregnant. She hadn't even known she was pregnant. Maureen said she thought it was just lucky that her period had stopped. It was only when Ann had accidentally walked in on her in the bathroom one day that she was found out. A three pound, 2 ounce Mary Elizabeth McCord, was born a month later.

Knowing what he now knew about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome, he wondered if Maureen had known she was pregnant, if she would have stopped the drinking and drugs. He wanted to believe she would have. He then wondered if she felt any guilt about that. He knew that if it had been him, he would have a hard time with it. But, then again, Maureen always did have the unique ability to spin everything to make it be someone else's fault.

He looked up and saw Elizabeth sitting next to him, a cup of coffee between them. She smiled at him, " You were deep in thought."

"Thinking about Maureen," he said. "As bad as it is, it's worse for her because she won't get to say goodbye. Even with all of the completely destructive things she has done, I know that Mom and Dad still love her. I wonder if she knows that."

"Does she know that you love her?" Elizabeth asked, laying her hand in his.

Henry looked at her in disbelief and then sighed. "I doubt it."

"Make it a point to fix that the next time you see her."

Henry was going to answer her when Shane stuck his head out in the hall. "Mom's awake and she wants to see Elizabeth."

Elizabeth looked at Henry and he shrugged. "She has things she needs to tell you too."


	10. Chapter 10

AN: I am officially caught up with what I've written. This chapter took several days, so I didn't get to stay ahead the way I wanted. I'm hoping to get 11 finished today to have it posted tomorrow, but if I don't, it should definitely be ready by Monday. After that, who knows. Thank you for the reviews. It makes me feel good to know that people are enjoying my stories. Have a wonderful holiday weekend (for you US people).

Chapter 10

Elizabeth made her way down the hallway in the ICU. She stopped in front of the glass doors of room 6. Her brief flashback took her to when she was 14 and the moment before she walked into Will's hospital room after the car accident that killed her parents. Will had miraculously been fine other than some scratches and bruises.

This situation was not going to turn out the same. Elizabeth already knew that. They had known this time would come for months. It still didn't make Elizabeth feel any better. She wasn't angry like Henry, but deeply saddened that she would never get to have a strong relationship with this woman who had nurtured two of the people she loved most in the world. And that Ann's death would have such a deep impact on them.

She slid the door open and stepped in. As Elizabeth came closer, Ann turned her head and smiled. "I almost fell back asleep waiting. Damn meds."

Elizabeth sat down on the edge of the bed and took Ann's hand into her own. "I'm sorry. I think they had to find me. I was with Henry away from the waiting room."

"How is he?" she asked.

"He's working through it. It will take some time. He will be fine," Elizabeth said

"It helps that you've already walked this road. You know what to expect."

"I do, but everyone grieves differently. I will be there for him. For them both."

"You have no idea the peace that knowledge gives me. I had faith that God would work everything out, but seeing it happen before I go has been an unexpected joy." Ann squeezed her hand.

"I'm glad. I'm certainly happy that I had the pleasure of knowing you." Elizabeth smiled.

"I wanted to see you because I wanted to ask you to do something for me. If you are willing, I have a job for you. Patrick knows they exist but he is such a man, he would never remember to take care of these in a timely manner." Elizabeth studied Ann, trying to figure out what it was exactly she was being tasked with. "In the house, under the bed are five shoeboxes. Each shoebox has one of the kids' names on it, and it holds letters for each of them for milestones in their lives. I would like you to be in charge of giving the recipient their letter at the appropriate time."

Elizabeth thought about her own life and how many times in the past few year she would have loved to have some words of wisdom from her Mom. She was trying hard not to break down, but Ann wasn't making it easy. "I would be honored to be the caretaker and distributor of your letters."

"Thank you. I knew you would be the perfect person for the job." Ann relaxed back against the pillow as if a weight had been removed. "There's one more thing. They just told Patrick that Beth can't come back here because she's not old enough. Evidently the fact the I'm dying and want to see her one last time didn't make a convincing enough argument, so I need you to help figure out how to get her back here without Nurse Darkheart catching us."

"Is Darkheart her given name?" Elizabeth laughed when Ann rolled her eyes. "I think I can do that." Elizabeth said, eagar for a distraction that would be useful and bring joy to Ann. "Wait here. I'll be back in a minute."

"Like I can go anywhere," Ann remarked.

Elizabeth laughed, "Right."

She stepped outside the door into the hallway. The nurses' station was at the opposite end. They could see the room, but would need to be specifically looking. Elizabeth eyed the door about ten feet from room 6. She felt sure it opened into the main hallway where she and Henry had been sitting earlier. Approaching it cautiously, it didn't appear to have any kind of alarm on it. She carefully opened it and peered out. She had been correct. Her plan was to just use that door, but she quickly realized that it was locked from the other side.

Elizabeth looked around for something to keep the door from locking and smiled broadly when she spied a small table with comment cards. "We value your opinion" was printed across the top. "Your under age policy is stupid. That's my opinion, but thanks for putting these in a handy spot," Elizabeth murmured as she folded a couple cards up, pushed the door open, stepped into the main hallway and placed the cards over the deadlatch so that it wouldn't catch.

Looking around, Elizabeth hurried to the waiting room, where she found Beth with her head down coloring. "Beth, Grandma Ann wants to see you. Do you think you're ready?"

Beth looked up, her eyes red rimmed and puffy. "The nurse said I couldn't go back because I'm too young and I don't get to see Grandma."

"Come with me." Beth stood, leaving her coloring behind. "Is that for Grandma?". Beth nodded. "Take it with you.". They stepped out into the hallway. "I know that we tell you to follow the rules, and you should. But, occasionally you'll run across a rule that is just plain dumb. I'm sure they have the no kids rule because kids are loud or snotty or they touch things or whatever, but Grandma Ann wants to see you and you want to see her, so I'm breaking the rule to make that happen. I know I'm breaking it and I know I might get in trouble and whatever my punishment is, I won't complain."

Beth grinned. "I don't get permission to be sneaky very often."

Elizabeth shot her a look. "That's because you aren't supposed to be sneaky."

Beth smiled. "Okay, Beth. I'm going to step through and make sure no one is around and then I'll get you and we walk quick like to Grandma's room. Got it?"

Beth nodded. "I was born for this mission." Elizabeth laughed and shook her head.

She stepped into the ICU and looked both ways. No one was around and the nurses' station was abandoned. Elizabeth pulled the door the rest of the way open and motioned for Beth to come. The moved quickly to room 6 and Elizabeth slid the door open to find Nurse Darkheart taking Ann's vitals.

Elizabeth was startled and turned to shield Beth from view only to find Beth had disappeared. Elizabeth did her best to mask her shock and went to Ann's bedside. Ann looked a little stunned too since she knew that Beth was about somewhere. The nurse finished and left the room. Elizabeth stepped out into the hall and looked up and down the hall for Beth. She slipped out of the room next door and grinned. "I am good at being sneaky."

"Just like when you only wanted to wear jumpers to school and you hid your pants under your mattress. That wasn't so sneaky." Elizabeth teased and Beth turned bright red.

"How did you know?" she asked.

"You wadded them up and there was a big lump in the middle of the mattress. Geez kid! I'm not dumb, Elizabeth said, ushering her into the room. Beth giggled and ran over to Ann's bedside. Elizabeth stayed back, leaning against the door watching for anyone who might come down the hall. She pulled the curtain so that Ann's bed wasn't visible from the hall.

"Elizabeth helped me be sneaky and come back here. We broke the rule because it was dumb. I made you a picture."

Ann laughed softly. "I didn't much care for the rule myself. Tell me about your picture."

"This is you wearing all white in Heaven and here are all of the angels singing in the choir and here's St. Rose Duchesne. You are talking to her, telling her about the saint project I did for school. You'll do that won't you?"

"I'm sure there are a lot of people in Heaven, but if I happen to run into St. Rose, you can bet I will tell her all about your project.". Beth smiled happily.

It took a little effort, but Ann managed to shift herself to one side. "Come up and lay next to me would you?" Beth quickly climbed up and tucked herself into Ann's side. "Mary Elizabeth, I think you've grown since this summer. You are almost too big to curl up next to me. It's hard to believe that you were only this big when you were born." Ann cupped her hands together. "You could fit right in my hands with room to spare, but they wouldn't let us hold you right away. The only way we could touch you was to reach through a hole in your covered baby bed and stroke your tummy with our finger. Back then our fingers looked huge against your stomach.

"But not now, right Grandma? I'm a big girl." Beth smiled up at Ann.

"Now you are most definitely a big girl." Ann paused and then took a shaky breath. "You know I'm going to have to go soon."

Beth nodded in agreement saying, "I know, that damned cancer."

Ann laughed. "I think I need to mention to Grandpa the importance of using nice language. But anyway, I won't be far. I'll only be a prayer away. You can talk to me about anything, okay?"

"And it will be cheaper than a phone call." Beth added.

"That it will be. And I can listen anytime." Ann wrapped Beth up in a hug. "Try to be patient with the rest of your family. They aren't as accepting of this reality as you are. Show them lots of grace. Oh, and I need you to do me one more favor." Beth looked up at Ann. "The next time you see your mom, tell her that I love her very much. She isn't going to get to come back to see me and I want her to know that, okay.?"

"What if she doesn't believe me?" Beth asked.

"Elizabeth will have a letter that I wrote to give her too. Hopefully between the two of us, she will believe it. If not, we have to leave that in God's hands," Ann said. "I love you so much. I don't ever want you to forget that. You were one of the best surprises of my whole life!"

Beth beamed. "I love you too Grandma. And, when you see God, I would appreciate it if you let him know that I really do try to be good. Sometimes things just get away from me."

"God already knows your heart, but when I get there, I'd be happy to tell him again." Ann kissed her cheek. "I'm going to rest a while. Tell Grandpa that he needs to go home and rest a while too.

Beth hugged Ann and kissed her. "I'll miss you lots, but I'll pray every day and talk to you so I don't feel lonesome, okay?"

"I will be looking forward to it every day."

Elizabeth stepped forward wiping her eyes. "Beth, I think it's time to go and let Grandma rest."

Beth slipped off the bed and took the hand Elizabeth offered. "Elizabeth," Ann said. Elizabeth stepped over to the bed and Ann reached out. Elizabeth leaned in for the hug. "Take care of them for me, and let them take care of you." Elizabeth nodded, afraid that if she spoke, the sob she was holding back would escape. She kissed Ann's cheek and gave her a watery smile before leaving the room. She and Beth slipped out through the side door and came back into the waiting room.

Henry stood when he saw them and Beth raced into his arms. Her sobs erupted with such force that Henry staggered back and fell into the chair behind him. After a long while, Beth finally calmed down, and she looked at Henry. "I didn't cry Henry. I didn't let Grandma know how sad I was because I didn't want her to feel bad that she's going to die. I was brave."

Seeing Elizabeth and Beth walk in, Henry stood, but there was nothing that could prepare him for the look on Beth's face as she plowed into him. Her tears fell in sheets from her eyes and he couldn't do anything but just hold on to her. Out of sheer determination, Henry had willed himself not to cry all day long. Then she was on his lap, her heart breaking and he just couldn't do it any longer. Elizabeth's hand was on his back, her head pressed to his, and his tears fell. Beth made her proclamation and Henry looked up, finding the rest of the family all gathered close.

"Beth's right," Erin said, wiping her own tears. "Mom needs to know that it's okay to let go. She's hanging on for us." Erin rose and headed toward the door leading to the ICU.

Shane was by far the most stoic of the McCord clan and took initiative to be the organizer of things that needed to be done. At 17, he felt like he needed to be a man. Henry saw right through it, but had let him do his own thing up to this point. Now, Shane was on fringe of the group, wanting to be part of it, yet afraid of being part of it. As Erin left, Henry made eye contact with Shane. He saw the same pain in Shane's eyes that he felt in his own heart. He stood and deposited Beth in Patrick's lap. Henry walked up to Shane and put his hand on Shane's shoulder. Shane didn't immediately give in. Henry slid his hand over Shane's shoulder to the middle of his back and pulled the two of them together. Shane resolve crumbled under Henry's embrace. "She shouldn't have to suffer through this," he said. "It not fair."

"I know. It's not," Shane hugged Henry back and they stayed that way for a while, saying nothing, just wallowing in the middle of the despair in that moment. Erin returned and Shane took her place.

Erin sat down next to Patrick. "She's asleep. I just whispered to her and told her it was okay to let us go. That we have each other and would be fine."

"Mr. McCord," the nurse said, appearing in the doorway. Patrick edged Beth off his lap and followed the nurse. Henry moved to Erin and Elizabeth sat on the other side of Henry.

Beth stood in the middle of the room alone. Everyone was in their own world when she said, "She's gone," and climbed up on Henry's lap, resting her head in the crook of his neck.

Shane appeared in the waiting room. When they all looked up, he just dropped his head. It was an hour later when the McCords collected their things and made their way to a home that would never quite be the same again.


	11. Chapter 11

AN: Thank you so much for the kind words about this story. For being a story I wasn't sure I wanted to write, it has been a favorite for a lot of you. I'm a big proponent of it was meant to be, so I guess that's why I finally gave in and started it. Also, in case anyone isn't keeping track, we are officially under 5 weeks until the season 5 premiere. Unless you are one of those lucky people that gets to go to the Tribeca event. I would totally accept any gift of airline tickets if someone wanted to thank me for writing by gifting me that. Just throwing that out there... ;)

Enjoy!

Chapter 11

It was 2am when Elizabeth finally extricated herself from Henry and slid out of bed. She wasn't sure what she was going to do, but she'd been in bed for over 3 hours and sleep wasn't coming. Henry finally fell asleep, but listening to his steady breathing and occasional soft snore was putting her on edge more than lulling her to sleep.

She wandered down the hall, surprised to find Patrick and Ann's bedroom door ajar. She caught herself. It was Patrick's room now. That pained her. Elizabeth wandered downstairs and found Patrick in the recliner randomly flipping through TV channels. Elizabeth flopped down on the couch. "Can't sleep?" she asked.

"Been married a little over 27 years. Only spent a handful of nights apart in those 27 years, and I didn't sleep those nights either."

"Really? Wow. My dad traveled for work, so he and my mom were apart quite a lot. What was going on that separated you?" Patrick never talked to her much, so she was surprised that he was being this open to conversation.

"When Erin was born, Ann was in the hospital two nights, and I had to stay home with the other kids. They were only 2, 4, and 8 at the time."

"You didn't have to stay home when the other kids were born?" Elizabeth asked.

"Nah, both my mom and Ann's mom were alive then, so one of them stayed. My mom was still living when Erin was born, but she wasn't physically able to care for our three little ones overnight, but she did come for a few hours in the day and watched Henry and Shane if I remember right." He stopped to think about that. He sighed. "And then there was Beth. She had a lot of problems when she was born. I couldn't even tell you how many times they told us that she wouldn't make it. For a couple weeks, we took turns staying overnight with her until the worst past. Definitely didn't sleep then either. Don't think I'll be able to sleep in that bed again."

Elizabeth had no idea what to say to that, so she opted to leave it, knowing that her words would be empty anyway. "Ann told me that there are some boxes under the bed that she wanted me to take care of."

He chuckled. "Somehow she didn't think I was the best person to do that job. She was correct. You can go get them. When you walk in, they are on the left side of the bed."

Elizabeth excused herself and headed upstairs. Kneeling by the side of the bed, she pulled out 5 shoeboxes. They were labeled Maureen, Henry, Shane, Erin and Beth. Pushing the boxes away from the edge of the bed, she turned and rested her back against the bed, crossing her feet in front of her and she pulled Maureen's box into her lap. She flipped through the pile. It looked like Ann had put them in order according to how she thought things might happen. "When I die" was the top envelope followed by letters such as "When you get out," and "When Beth walks away." Elizabeth swallowed hard, and hoped she never had to deliver that letter. Erin's box held letters for 16th birthday and graduation and first love. "When you meet the right woman" and "The first time you hold your baby" were in Shane's. She looked at both Henry's box and Beth's, and then picked up Henry's. He had several where two envelopes were clipped together. When she took them apart, she found that the second one was for her. On your wedding day and On Beth's adoption day were the two that got her the most. She wasn't at a point when she had considered either of those things, yet Ann seemed to think it was in their future.

Closing her eyes, she rested her head on the side of the bed. "She started those over 18 months ago." Elizabeth turned to find Patrick leaning in the doorway. "It was the day that we got the news that the first round of treatment wasn't successful." Patrick moved to sit on the end of the bed near Elizabeth. "She made me stop at the store on the way home and I couldn't figure out what the hell she would have to have right then. I was a mess, but she was always thinking ahead. She came out with a big box of stationery. I asked what she was planning on doing with that and she told me that the cancer might get her but she'd be damned if she left this world without telling her kids the things they needed to hear, and she started that night."

"I don't know if they will know how lucky they are to have these," Elizabeth commented. "I would've given anything to have something like this from my parents."

"Lesser known benefits of knowing you're going to die I suppose," Patrick said.

Elizabeth looked at him wide eyed, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"It's okay. I know what you meant. Death is hard no matter the cause or how long you've known it was coming. They're just different is all."

Elizabeth set Henry's box back on the floor and pulled Beth's into her lap. She flipped through them: Confirmation, When Henry gets married, Your first dance. Toward the bottom of the pile she found one that made her heart stop. In neat letters penned on the front, it said, "When someone refers to Elizabeth as your mom and you no longer bother to correct them because you feel the same."

The mistake had already been made a couple of times that she had witnessed. The most notable was at parent/teacher conferences, Henry had class that night, so Elizabeth went instead. Beth's classroom teacher was fully aware of Beth's unique living situation, so she didn't bat an eye when Elizabeth walked in with Beth in tow. They discussed her progress and a couple things she needed to work on and the two were on their way out the door to grab a celebratory ice cream cone when they were stopped by the librarian. "Beth," she'd said, "Why don't you introduce me to your mother?"

Beth was caught off guard and gave her an odd look. There was an uncomfortable moment of silence, because even Elizabeth wasn't expecting the question. "My mom is in prison. You probably don't want to meet her."

The poor woman's face turned beat red and her eyes shifted between Elizabeth and Beth. Elizabeth was about to speak when Beth said, "Oh, you mean Elizabeth. She's not my mom." Beth turned to Elizabeth. "This is Mrs. Rogers. She is the librarian."

"I'm Elizabeth Adams. It's nice to meet you," Elizabeth said, shaking the woman's hand. "I'm a family friend. Her uncle had another engagement this evening, so I brought Beth."

Mrs. Rogers was still obviously flustered and said, "Well, I just wanted to pass along what a joy Beth is. She's always reading and I do love readers!"

"She is. We try to keep plenty of good books around the house, don't we Beth?" Given the look on the lady's face, she realized that she dug the hole deeper by alluding to their living arrangements. "Well, Mrs. Rogers, it was lovely to meet you. Have a nice evening." They left and it wasn't spoken of again. Elizabeth had overheard it a few other times, and each time, Beth replied that Elizabeth was her friend, not her mom. Elizabeth wondered if there would be a time when she did, and then she wondered how she felt about that. She knew that she was essentially filling that role in Beth's day to day life, but standing in and actually being thought of that way were two different things.

Coming back to the letters in front of her, she placed all of Beth's back in the box except the one that was labeled "on the day of my funeral." She reached up and grabbed the pen from the nightstand and put a small "B" in the corner and then pulled the letters labeled the same from the other boxes, initialing each so everyone got the right letter. She slid the boxes back under the bed and stood, holding the letters. Patrick looked exhausted. "How about you just lay on top of the bed? Then it's not sleeping without her. It's just taking a nap."

Patrick gave her a small smile. "I'll try that. Thanks." She walked over to the chair that was placed in the corner of the room and pulled the afghan off the back. She tossed it over him as he stretched out across the bed. Then she left, pulling the door closed behind her.

Beth fidgeted in her chair. The Visitation service was in its third hour and Beth was done. Elizabeth sat quietly next to her and felt equally out of place. "Hey, why don't we step out for a bit?" She slipped Beth's wool coat over her shoulders and they slipped out into the side hallway where there weren't so many people. The hall wrapped around to the front entrance and they excused themselves. Elizabeth was shocked to see that even though the receiving line had been constant since the doors opened 3 hours ago, there was still a long line of people waiting to get in. "Is there anyone in Pittsburgh that Grandma Ann didn't know?" Elizabeth thought for sure that the entire city had been there.

"Mary Beth," someone called out.

Elizabeth didn't flinch, but Beth turned to the voice, "Smokey!" she yelled and tore away from Elizabeth running down the line to a large man in a suit. He crouched down and Beth nearly bowled him over with her hug. "Where's your apron, Smokey? I don't think I've ever seen you without it."

"I get my suit out for special occasions. And honoring your grandmother definitely qualifies as a special occasion." Beth smiled. "I've missed you and your weekly visits," the man said.

Elizabeth walked up behind Beth and put her hands on Beth's shoulders. Beth looked up grinning. "This is Mr. Smokey. He owns Smokey's Meat Market. Grandma and I would go there every week when I was a little girl and get special meat from him, and Grandma cooked it so good." Beth shot Elizabeth a look and she shrugged.

"Yes, dear child, I am aware that I can't cook to save my life," Elizabeth said, exasperated.

"Now surely it can't be that bad," Smokey said and then he chuckled when Beth and Elizabeth both gave him _the_ look.

"Mr. Smokey. You're going to have to bring meat to Grandpa because he won't remember he needs to call you and he'll get mad when there's no meat to cook."

"Your grandma was thinking just like you. She already set up once a week deliveries because she knows your grandpa too!" Beth giggled and Elizabeth smiled, wondering just exactly how many things Ann organized ahead of time. They bid Mr. Smokey goodbye and wandered around the back of the building getting some fresh air before declaring they were officially cold and headed back inside.

Returning to the house that evening, Elizabeth was shocked to find that the neighbor ladies had set up a complete dinner for all of them, and there was a steady stream of visitors there too. It was challenging to get Beth to bed, but she was finally asleep by 9 and the bulk of the crowd had dispersed. Elizabeth had hardly been able to get any time alone with Henry and looking around now, she was unable to find him. After checking the bedrooms and the entire downstairs, she grabbed her coat and headed outside. "There you are," she said, sitting next to him on the porch swing. "It's cold out here."

"Yeah." Henry was wearing his sweatshirt, but it was January in Pittsburgh,so Elizabeth stepped inside and grabbed his coat and brought it to him. "Thanks, I hadn't really noticed the temperature yet," he said, but he went ahead and slipped it on.

"How are you holding up?" Henry looked at her blankly.

"I'm tired of people asking me that," he said. "And I'm tired of people telling me they're sorry. That's the most pointless thing to say to someone ever."

"People just want to share their sorrow," Elizabeth started.

"But I don't really give a shit about their sorrow. Ninety percent of those people went home and Mom will only cross their minds briefly if ever again. And here we are, in a pit and we just keep falling with no end in sight. It's dark, so very dark."

"I know. It gets better. It just takes time." Elizabeth tried to wrap her arms around him and he pushed her away.

"I don't want to hear that crap. Just leave me alone." Henry pushed off the porch swing and headed down the front steps leaving a devastated Elizabeth behind.

She watched him walk up the street and waited for a bit to see if he would cool off and come back, when he didn't, she went inside. The house was nearly empty now. Elizabeth passed through and picked up several plates and bottles on the way to the kitchen. She dropped them into the trash. "Where's Henry?" Erin asked.

"I don't know. He got mad and took off walking." Elizabeth worked to keep her voice even. She turned her back to everyone and focused on cleaning the counter, willing herself not to act as hurt as she really was.

She was wiping the counter off when she felt a hand on her back. Patrick asked, "Which way did he go?' She pointed in the direction he went. "I'll bring him back." Elizabeth bit her lip and in that moment wondered what it would look like when he came back.

Patrick shrugged his coat on and took off up the sidewalk, having a good idea where Henry might be.

Henry flopped down on the park bench in front of the fountain. They didn't run it in the winter to keep the pipes from freezing. The fountain looked barren and he felt the same. Scrubbing his hands over his face, the despair overtook him. He'd lost his mom, he'd pushed Elizabeth away, Beth was counting on him and even she had a much better handle on the situation than he did.

"It's been a long time since you felt the need to come here," Henry looked up to see Patrick standing in front of him.

"Yeah. I needed to get away. Too much. Too many people."

"You could talk about it you know."

"I'm fine," Henry said.

"Elizabeth might not agree," Patrick said, sitting down next to him

Henry thought about their exchange. "How is she?"

"She didn't say anything, but she looked like she got sucker punched. I hope that didn't really happen."

"No, but I was pretty short with her." Henry ran his hands through his hair. "She just doesn't understand."

"What exactly is it that she doesn't understand?" Patrick asked.

"How lost I am and much I miss Mom and how overwhelmed I am."

"Yeah, I get that. Maybe if she had lost a parent she would understand a little better. Hell, probably losing both parents would help."

Henry looked at his dad. "Don't be an asshole."

"Exactly. Don't be an asshole. If there is anyone in this scenario who knows exactly where you are, it's Elizabeth. So don't crap on her because you feel like crap. That's not how your treat your woman."

"She's not my woman. She doesn't belong to me."

"That's a great start, son. Now spend some time listening and you'll be better for it. It only took 27 years for your mom to whip me into shape."

"I question the progress she made," Henry quipped.

"You should've seen what she started with," Patrick said. Henry laughed. "Let's go back. You apologize and talk to her. It will help. Tomorrow is a long day."

They stood and started walking back toward the house. " The Steelers suck this year," Henry said.

"It's a management problem. They have the talent," Patrick replied, and football talk continued all the way home.

They walked in the door and Erin and Shane looked up. "Hey stranger. Long time, no see," Shane kidded.

"Elizabeth?" Henry asked. They both pointed upstairs. "Thanks. Goodnight guys." Henry deposited his coat on the back of the dining room chair and headed up the stairs.

He walked into his room and found her already in bed. "Elizabeth, babe. I need to talk to you. I need to apologize."

"I'm sleeping," she said.

"That's convincing, but really, please, open your eyes and talk to me."

"I already tried that and you were a jerk," Elizabeth said, still refusing to open her eyes.

"I was and I'm sorry. I was just lashing out and I shouldn't have. I need you. I want you. Please."

She opened her eyes and looked at him. "I know losing your mom is hard. Don't shut me out." Elizabeth ran her hand through Henry's hair.

"I'll try really hard not to. I don't know that I'll always see it though. I need you to tell me," Henry said.

"I will and you'll be open to listening?" He nodded.

"Absolutely. Are we good?" Henry asked.

"Yeah, we're good," she said. Henry pressed his forehead to hers. "So are you coming to bed or what?"

He grinned. "In just a minute. I need to get changed and brush my teeth."

"Don't keep me waiting," she said.


	12. Chapter 12

AN: I'm not really happy about this. I therefore reserve the right to add, subtract or completely rewrite it at some point in the future. Thank you for all of your kind words thus far. It continues to amaze me that not only do people read what I write, but that they ask for more. It makes me very happy.

Chapter 12

The next morning there was lots of hustle and bustle as everyone got ready for the funeral.

"Why do I have to dress so fancy?" Beth whined, as Elizabeth fixed her hair.

"Because it's a dress up situation." Elizabeth told her. "That's just how some things are. We dress up for church and weddings and funerals. Funerals in churches are a double whammy and you have to really dress up. Besides, you look beautiful."

Beth huffed, but said nothing. Henry walked into the room and looked at them both. "You two look beautiful." Elizabeth winked at Beth who just crossed her arms and huffed again. "What's going on?" he asked.

"Beth is upset that she has to dress up." Henry shrugged, "I'm with you Bethie, but here I am in a suit. Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do."

"There you go. Hair is done. Go find Erin and see if she can round you up some breakfast, but try not to spill anything on yourself." Beth trotted out of the room. Elizabeth turned to Henry. "Is there anything I can do for you this morning?" Henry shrugged. She stepped closer to him and ran her hand up his back, pulling him flush against her body. "We could try this," she said as she captured her lips in his. She smiled against him. "This is one of the few good things about heels. I'm tall enough that I can just kiss you whenever I want." She grinned and leaned in, kissing him again.

"I've always liked heels," he said, just before her tongue crashed into his. Henry groaned in her mouth, his hands sliding down her back and cupping her ass, pulling her into him. Elizabeth felt him start to harden against her and a devilish grin crossed her face. "What?" he asked as she pushed away from him. She walked over to the door, pushed it shut and locked it. Henry narrowed his eyes. "We aren't going to do _that_ now?" he said.

"Of course not, that might be considered inappropriate given the circumstances," she said slowly. She kicked out of her heels and returned to stand in front of him. "But we can't have you walking downstairs with a giant bulge in your pants either." She ran her hand over his crotch and his erection strained against his pants.

"What are you planning to do about that?" Henry asked, wide-eyed.

RATED M

"What do you want me to do about it?" Elizabeth shot him a coy smile, and unfastened his belt before going to work on his pants, pushing them down over his thighs, his boxers soon to follow. She wrapped her hand around his manhood, her thumb stroking his tip.

Henry bit the inside of his cheek and took a shaky breath. Her touch felt so good. He felt his pulse quicken and this breathing became shallow. "Are you going to give me a hand job?" he whispered.

"Huh-uh," she said, pushing him back on the bed. Henry fell all the way back on the bed and she grabbed his tie and pulled him back to sitting. "Kiss me," she lowered her head and Henry kissed her hard, his hands ran up the back of her legs under her skirt. She moaned softly and then pulled away before falling to her knees, taking him into her mouth.

Henry was not at all prepared for what was happening. He was engulfed in her warm, wet mouth, her tongue wrapped around him, sucking him. "Oh God" he whispered. She moved to focus on his tip and wrapped her hand around his length and started pumping him steadily. He whimpered under her touch. The scene before him only heightened his senses. Her blonde waves were splayed across his legs, her head buried between them. "So good," he hummed and she picked up the pace, both with her hand and her mouth. "Babe, I'm going to come," When she didn't move, Henry tried to shift back, but she let go of him and used her hands to pin his hips to the bed. Relaxing her throat she took him all the way in sending him over the edge with a groan, muffled by the throw pillows on the bed. She easily swallowed all that he gave and released him when he had ridden his high.

END OF M RATED SECTION

He offered her his hands and pulled her to her feet so she towered over him. She was grinning like the Cheshire cat. "Well that was incredible," he said. He pulled her down and wiped the spit from the corners of her mouth with his thumb and then kissed her. "Thank you. Do I get to reciprocate?"

"Absolutely, but it will have to wait. I'm surprised we don't already have people knocking on the door."

As if on cue, there was a knock on the door. Elizabeth laughed. Beth shouted through the door. "Grandpa says to hurry up. We need to leave."

Henry stood and put himself back together and then Elizabeth opened the door. "Get in the car. I just need to brush my teeth."

Henry was stunned by the number of people that attended the funeral. With so many coming to the visitation, he thought the funeral crowd would be smaller. He was mistaken. The church was capacity with people standing in the back.

Fr. Mark gave a nice eulogy and Henry felt a sense of calm that he hadn't realized he was missing. He didn't necessarily think the priest's words had much to do with it. Rather, it was the woman sitting next to him, her fingers loosely intertwined with his own. Henry glanced over at her as she intently listened. She was most certainly beautiful in the physical sense, but that wasn't what made her the most attractive in Henry's eyes. She was fiercely intelligent and the most considerate person he'd ever met. There wasn't a shadow of a doubt in Henry's mind that Elizabeth's presence in his life, and Beth's, was solely the work of God.

His mind wandered back to the months before he turned 18 and his parents came to him with the news of Ann's cancer diagnosis. "We're telling you first," they had said, "because we want you to help us talk over what's best for Beth."

"In three months I will be old enough to be her guardian. I will take over," he said without hesitation. There were several times when they had tried to talk him out of it, especially once they discovered he had no plans to deviate from his original plan of going to UVA.

"You're too young to do it on your own. What kind of life will you have? There will be no break, no rest. And what about Beth, being uprooted from everything she knows?" Henry had prayed unceasingly. The only peace he found while praying led him to UVA.

"Let's give it a semester and if I crash and burn, I will come back and enroll at Duquesne in the spring, but give me a chance. Give Bethie and I a chance."

Those first few weeks were miserable. Bethie had a hard time adjusting to a new school, making friends, fitting into the mold in general. Henry was overwhelmed. His classes were much more time intensive than any of his high school courses had been and he now had the added duty of being a father. There were school folders that went unsigned, clothes that went unwashed because he forgot to do laundry, and special gym shoes unpurchased. Each night Henry fell on his knees and asked for help to figure this parenthood thing out, so he could do right by Bethie.

One day in early September, after a particularly lousy day for both of them, Henry suggested they go to the park. They started out on the swings and then Henry tossed Bethie her ball glove. "Throw it hard" he'd said, hoping the physical exertion would help her let go of some of the angst that hanging over her, and by extension, him. She did, again and again. Each time he'd throw it back and Bethie would launch it again. She was a good little pitcher for only being seven. Kids her age were still playing tee ball and she was bored with that, being well beyond that skill level. She was getting tired though, her pitches were getting sloppy. "Last one," he said tossing the ball. Bethie wound up and threw it as hard as she could. It went high and wide.

Henry reached, but it was just beyond his glove and Bethie yelled, "Watch out!". Henry turned just in time to see the runner get hit square in the face. Bethie saw it was going to happen and was already running past him by the time that he stood. He watched the woman stumble and fall forward, somehow managing to sit on the ground. Bethie was all over her, screaming and apologizing by the time that Henry reached the scene.

Elizabeth flexed her fingers in his and he looked at her again. Who would have thought that a crazy fluke like that would have been God's answer to his prayer? Bethie brought her to their apartment the next afternoon and it was the beginning of something special. It took awhile to get to point where _they_ were something special, but they were there now and Henry couldn't imagine spending his life with anyone else.

Henry's thoughts move to his mom. Ann McCord was the most hesitant to let Henry take Beth to school. He smiled. Of course she had been hesitant. Beth had been her shadow for seven years. Henry smiled as he remembered the first few weeks of kindergarten. He wasn't sure who was more devastated, Bethie or Ann, but they both grew accustomed to the new routine and then Henry threw a wrench in it by moving five hours away. They still came back home to Pittsburgh once a month and then there were trips to see Maureen, which happened monthly instead of every other since they were an hour closer. Ann still called and talked to Beth every other evening.

When Elizabeth came into the picture, she and Beth became best friends immediately. Ann was elated that Beth had a friend, even if she was a more suitable age to be Henry's friend than Beth's. Beth settled into the routine and Elizabeth just fell into step alongside Henry in taking care of Beth. Henry knew that had to be God's handiwork as well because no 18 year old girl in

her right mind would do what Elizabeth did. He smirked to himself. For someone who didn't particularly believe in God, Henry felt that God was pretty well insinuated in her life.

Elizabeth had been very understanding through the whole process of Ann's illness. Henry closed his eyes. Even when he'd been short tempered with her in recent days, she hadn't snapped back at him, which was probably what he deserved. The hole in his heart left by his mother's death was still a fresh wound, but it was made bearable by the woman sitting beside him.

It was later that morning when Ann McCord was laid to rest and Henry and his siblings sat in plush chairs under the canopy. It was a dreary January morning, the ground wet from recent rains and it squished underneath the green outdoor carpeting the had been laid out under the canopy. Elizabeth stood behind Henry, who held Beth on his lap. The priest was saying a prayer and threw Holy Water on the casket, then it began its descent into the ground. Beth buried her head into Henry's shoulder and she felt Henry shudder under her hand. She ran her hands down his arms, letting him know she was right there-that she would always be there.


	13. Chapter 13

AN: Here's a new chapter to enjoy. I have to work this weekend, so I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get done, but I'm working on Chapter 14 tonight. I doubt I can get it done before the end of the weekend, but I'll try.

Chapter 13

It was later that afternoon when they all stood in the living room. The car had been packed and Patrick sent them with a bunch of leftovers saying that he and the kids would never be able to eat it all. It was a little awkward attempting to say goodbye with all that had transpired over the last few days.

Elizabeth pulled the letters from her back pocket and bit her lower lip trying to come up with a way to explain what she held and why. "Uh, do you mind sitting down for a minute? I have something for each of you. Your mom asked me to do something for her and I promised her I would." Elizabeth took a deep breath. "When she came to the realization that she probably wouldn't beat the cancer, she wanted to make sure that you knew she was always with you. So, she wrote letters to be given to you at different times in your life, for different things that might happen. I have them and I'm supposed to give you each your letters as the event occurs. That being said, there is one for each of you for today.". Elizabeth stepped forward and handed Erin and Shane their letters and then turned and gave Henry and Beth theirs.

"What about Mom?" Beth wanted to know.

"I have one for her that we'll take when we go to visit her next weekend.". Beth nodded and seemed satisfied. Everyone just stared down at the envelope they held in their hands

Shane started laughing. "It's just like mom. She wouldn't dare let us do anything without weighing in."

"And I bet that you read it exactly how she'd say it," Erin added.

"As if there would be another way to read it," Shane commented.

Henry looked over at Elizabeth. "She gave you all of the letters to keep for everyone?" Elizabeth studied him for a second trying to figure out his tone.

Patrick spoke. "Evidently, your mom didn't think I could be trusted with such a task. Something about me forgetting."

"It is a well documented fact that you forget everything Dad," Erin chimed in. Patrick shrugged.

Henry looked at Beth. "Is it alright if we go ahead and get on the road? We have quite a long drive."

"I'll read Grandma's letter on the way home. We can go." Beth hopped up off the couch and have Erin and Shane both a hug before turning to Patrick. "Grandpa, Smokey is bringing you meat next week. Don't forget to pay him. And don't forget to talk to Grandma. She said she would have time to listen anytime we wanted to talk to her."

"I got it baby girl. Be good for Henry and Elizabeth and work hard in school." He picked her up and gave her a big hug. We'll see you in a month or so, okay?"

Beth suddenly grew very quiet and looked like she could cry. "What is it?" Patrick asked.

"Grandma won't be calling me anymore. I just realized it. It's part of my night. I do my homework, eat dinner, take a bath, talk to Grandma and go to bed." It's what I do." Beth looked devastated.

"Beth," Erin spoke up. "Do you think we could call you? I can call on Mondays and Thursdays."

"Uh, I'll call on Sundays and Tuesdays," Shane offered.

"So I guess that leaves me the rest of the days, huh? It won't be exactly the same but we'll make sure that you know everything that happens here and we'll tell each other all the things happening with you."

Beth smiled. "I love you guys."

After another round of hugs, Henry finally herded them out the door and they got on the road.

Beth read her letter and carefully tucked it in the front of her backpack. Elizabeth was curious what it said, but Beth didn't volunteer. Elizabeth figured that she would share eventually. After an hour on the road, Beth rested her head against the window and dozed off.

"You're awfully quiet," Elizabeth said, glancing over at Henry.

"Just thinking," he said.

"Anything you want to share?" His silence was unnerving to Elizabeth. She worried that it had something to do with the letter. He'd been very quiet since she'd passed them out.

"Mom must have thought you would be around for a long time if she entrusted the box of letters to you," he finally said.

"She did," she replied, thinking of the many letters to her that were clipped to Henry's.

"It scares me to think that far ahead. I want to and sometimes I catch myself doing it, but there's a part of me that is still waiting for the other shoe to fall-for you to say that you've had enough and it's too much."

"Why would you think that? Have I somehow given you that impression, because I have no intention of leaving."

Henry slipped his hand across the console and let it rest on her thigh. "It's too good. Too much happiness. I don't feel like I'm deserving of you and the joy you have given me."

"The only thing I can tell you is that you need to get used to it, because I'm not going anywhere. And for the record, whatever joy I bring you, you can bet that you bring me equal if not more, so you're crazy to think that I would give that up. I love you." She paused and grinned, "Besides, if I did, we wouldn't get to read those letters."

"She wrote a lot, didn't she?" Elizabeth nodded.

"I'd guess that she wrote between 15-20 for each of you and based on the titles, I bet there are no duplicates, but you have closer to 25 in your box because some of yours have one clipped to it that is for me."

"She wrote you letters too?" Henry asked, pondering that. "That seems odd." He thought about it some more. "Will you tell me what some of mine are?"

"I don't remember them all because I've looked through everyone's letters, but there is one for graduation and before you leave for boot camp and one for deployment and one for when you father passes away."

"What about the ones that you have one too?" he asked, and she gave him a worried look.

"Are you sure you want to know that? You just said you didn't really like to think ahead as it relates to us."

"But I also said that I did it anyway," he smirked.

Elizabeth turned and checked the back seat. When she was sufficiently satisfied that Beth was asleep, she turned back to Henry. The biggest ones to me were our wedding day and when we decide to-" She stopped and Henry glanced over at her and she mouthed "adopt Beth," as she tipped her head toward the back seat.

Henry's eyes bulged. "What?"

Elizabeth agreed, "I know. You should have seen me when I saw those. I think I looked the exact same way." She twisted her hands in her lap and looked out the window. "But now that I've had some time to let the idea hang out, I'm getting used to it."

Henry nodded but said nothing. They drove another ten miles or so and Henry exited the interstate, pulling into a gas station. "We need gas already?" Elizabeth asked.

Henry parked at the edge of the lot and turned to her. "Did I just understand you to say that you want to marry me?"

She studied him for a moment. "Well, if our relationship continues to go as it looks like it's going to, then yes, down the road, I think marriage is definitely in our future."

Henry studied her for a long moment, the slight smile turning to navigate worried grimace. "How much of that decision has to do with Beth?"

Elizabeth wrinkled her forehead. *What do you mean?"

Henry took a deep breath. "I mean would you marry me because of Beth.". Elizabeth still looked confused and he sighed. "Would you even be with me if it weren't for Beth and by extension, is Beth important enough to you to marry me to insure you are close to her?"

"Are you even being serious right now? I thought we just covered that. I just told you that I love you and you bring me immeasurable joy. How could you even think that?" She ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "You must have a pretty low opinion of me to think that I would force myself to spend my life with someone I didn't love in order to continue a relationship that I already had."

"Elizabeth, I just-I just-I don't know."

"What are you talking about?" Beth's voice came sleepily from the back seat.

"Nothing. Do you need to use the bathroom before we get back on the road?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yeah," Beth said as she opened the door and climbed out of the car and Elizabeth followed.

They made the rest of the trip without speaking and pretty much spent the rest of the night only speaking when they had to, going to bed without even bothering to say goodnight.

Elizabeth walked into school with Beth on Monday morning to see what she needed to do about missed homework and gather any other information. Getting all of that taken care of, she promised to help her get caught up that night and pick up some ice cream to eat for dessert. After a hug and kiss, Elizabeth was on her way to try and do some catching up herself.

Other than classes, she spent the day in the library. It should've been a good opportunity to get a lot of things done, but she was distracted by how she'd left things with Henry. He had hurt her feelings, but she realized that she pretty much closed off all conversation. He might'veve explained himself or something if she'd been open to talking about it.

Henry had classes later in the day on Mondays and stayed home in the morning to take care of laundry and general cleaning. Since they had been gone most of the past week, the house was in pretty good shape, he just needed to unpack the bags and get the clothes washed, especially Beth's uniforms.

As he unpacked the suitcases, he pulled the letter from his mom out of the front pocket of his bag. Sitting on the edge of his bed, he studied it for a long time. He wasn't sure how he felt about either his mom writing these letters or Elizabeth being the caretaker of them. His thoughts went back to their argument yesterday. It was a dumb argument. She hadn't really spoken to him since and even this morning, Beth came in to say goodbye, but Elizabeth didn't. If she was angry enough to end what they had, didn't that just prove him right, that she wasn't really in it for better or worse. The rational part of him was screaming at him to stop this absurd line of thinking, but his irrational side was having a field day.

Finally coming back to the task at hand, Henry ran his finger underneath the edge of the envelope and pulled out the handwritten letter. Before he could even focus on the words, his mother's beautiful slanted lettering made tears well up in his eyes.

Quickly swiping the tears away, he took a ragged breath and started to read.

 _My dearest Henry,_

 _I think it is you that I worry about the most right now. You will have the most stress with the most riding on your ability to weather this storm. Two things that bring me great comfort now are your deep faith and Elizabeth. This is actually the second version of this letter because when I wrote the first, Elizabeth was very new in your life and, even though I had hope, I didn't know how it would play out. Now, I can say with certainty that Elizabeth is the one for you. I realize that it was because of Beth that you two became friends, but it was God that allowed it to grow into more._

 _I know that my death will be hard on you. Pray often and lean on those around you. Open up and share yourself. You are very good at allowing others to do that, but you rarely do it yourself. Henry, you are by far the most reflective of this McCord bunch and I know you will analyze this to death (pun intended). But whenever you get to the part where you start to question why you deserve the good things in your life, tell yourself to shut up and give thanks instead. You have grown to a wonderful man who loves unconditionally and sacrifices willingly for his family. You are deserving of every bit of happiness that comes your way. I feel confident that you've found it with Elizabeth. Love her as though tomorrow may never come. You will never regret doing so._

 _If you need anything, I will never be farther than a prayer._

 _Love,_

 _Mom_

Henry wiped his tears on his shirt sleeve and folded the letter back up and placed it in the envelope. He slipped the envelope into his nightstand and checked the time. He pondered trying to make it to campus to catch Elizabeth, but he wasn't sure where he would find her and he had classes all afternoon. He opted to wait until he got home after his evening class and try to work this all out. Henry grabbed his laundry and headed to the laundry room to start the next load.

Henry showered and got ready for class, but on his way out the door, he went back to the kitchen and taped a note to the refrigerator. "I'm sorry. I'd like to talk when I get home. H"

Elizabeth muddled through the rest of her day wondering how she was going to get all of the work done that she didn't do during the day, plus help Beth catch up. Tonight was Henry's class and he probably wouldn't be home until after 9. She wondered what it would be like when he got home. They needed to talk, but she didn't know how to start the conversation. She pushed that to the side and headed to pick up Beth.


	14. Chapter 14

AN: This is just one big chapter of smut. If that's not your thing, know that they made up and patiently wait for Chapter 15. If smut is your thing, then feel free to read on.

Chapter 14

It 9:30 when Henry finally walked in the front door of the farm house. He set his things down on the end of the couch and steeled himself for what he needed to do. He walked slowly to the kitchen and leaned against the doorway watching her.

She was bent over the table, her books scattered over it's surface. She had the sides of her hair pulled back and twisted haphazardly on the top of her head, the knot held in place with a pencil. He smiled when she pushed her glasses back up her nose and chewed on the end of her pen as she concentrated on what she was reading. Henry's breath was stuck in his throat. "Beautiful," he murmured and Elizabeth looked up.

His heart broke when she looked up and gave him a tentative smile instead of the wide one she usually gave him. "What did you say?"

"I said you're beautiful," he replied honestly as he made his way over to her. She dropped her eyes as he sat down. "Can we talk?" he asked.

"Sure." Elizabeth shrugged before leaning back in the chair and removing her glasses. "What happened yesterday? It was good and then it wasn't."

"There is a part of me that truly believes that there is no way someone as wonderful as you could love me based on my own merit. I don't know where it comes from.. Sometimes I think it's from all of the arguments with Dad and not feeling adequate, but maybe that's not it at all. I can usually talk sense to myself, but sometimes, like yesterday, it comes flying out of my mouth and then your reaction just fueled the fire and I end up shutting down."

"I don't play games. I've been nothing but honest with you since we met. I love Beth and I loved her first. You know that. Originally, I had no intention of having a relationship with you outside of Beth, but that isn't the way it worked out and I didn't even know it was happening until after it happened." She leaned forward, slipping her fingers into Henry's. "When I say that I love you, it's because I love you," she said, placing emphasis on the word you. "I have no ulterior motives. No sinister plans. No negative thoughts. I only have love for you and the desire to make you as happy as you make me."

"I'm sorry my overactive mind makes me weird sometimes. I'll try to do better."

"And I'm sorry that I automatically shut down communication if I feel attacked or hurt. I'll try to do better too." She squeezed his hand and he pulled hers to his lips, placing a kiss on the back of her hand.

"How much more work do you have?" he asked.

"Not enough that I can't go ahead and stop right now," she said. "Do you need me for something?" There was a lilt in her voice that set Henry's insides aflutter.

"We had some unfinished business from last week, if I recall," he said, tugging on her hand, causing her to stand

"Oh, it was definitely business left unfinished," she said, pulling the pencil from her top knot and tossing it on the table before leading him toward the stairs.

"Don't you want to clean this up?" he asked, nodding toward the table full of books and papers.

"It will still be there tomorrow. I have other things to do right now." She walked up the stairs, her fingers wrapped around two of his leading him. She paused, pointing to the 5th step and whispered, "I am going to call tomorrow." as she stepped over it.

Henry watched her hips sway as she walked in front of him. He swallowed thickly. Part of Elizabeth's allure was that she didn't try to put that vibe out at all. She seldom wore makeup. She would rather wear baggy jeans and an old t-shirt than dress up. Ponytails and messy buns were her preferred hair do. For someone who was never out to impress anyone, she impressed everyone, but especially Henry, who was now following her into her bedroom.

"Wait a sec," he said, stepping back into the hallway, checking in on Beth. He returned a moment later. "Okay," he said, suddenly nervous.

Elizabeth looked at him with equal nervousness in her eyes. "I wasn't this on edge before," she said softly.

"Agreed. Maybe it's because we didn't start out with the intention of going all the way," Henry offered. "We shouldn't think about that."

"Tell that to the butterflies in my stomach," Elizabeth laughed. Henry reached out and caught hold of her hand and pulled her toward him. They crashed together and she gasped. He gently tugged her hair tipping her head back and his lips were on hers, warm and strong, pulling her top lip between his He held her there and when his tongue brushed her lip, those butterflies morphed into full blown arousal. She moaned as she parted her lips, the ache between her legs growing with each passing second.

Henry released her. "We just needed to get over the hump. I'm better now. You?"

"I'm just fine," she purred, pulling him back flush to her body. One hand snaked around his back and the other slid up his chest landing at the nape of his neck pulling him to her. Henry kissed her again, their tongues diving into each other's mouths looking for sustenance only the other could provide.

It was passionate and hungry and Henry pulled back. Elizabeth's eyes were still closed, but her lips were still parted, waiting for his return. He stared at her until her eyes slowly opened. Her once crystal blue eyes were now dark with lust for him. "We need to slow this train down," he said.

"I sorta like the rate we're traveling at now," Elizabeth said, grinning.

"Not what I want for our first time. I want to love you like tomorrow will never come." His words sent a shiver down her back, and she swallowed hard.

"I love you," she said. She took half a step back and started slowly unbuttoning his shirt. Henry looked down at her fingers nimbly pushing the buttons through the buttonholes and he willed his hands to stay by his side. She tugged his shirt out of his jeans and once she unbuttoned the last one, she ran her hands up his bare chest, catching the top of the shirt and pushing it off of his shoulders. She pressed her lips to tuft of hair at the center of his chest, directly over his heart. "Your turn," she whispered.

Henry gave her a nervous smile and caught the sleeve of her sweatshirt and pulled it out so that Elizabeth could wiggle her arm out and did the same for the other arm. He gently pulled it over her head, revealing an old, ratty Steppenwolf concert tee. He grinned, "Didn't you wear that to bed last night?"

"Don't judge me. It's comfy and it was already warm this morning," she grinned back at him. "But you can take it off now if you like." Henry firmly placed his hand on her hips and caught the hem of the shirt in his fingers. He took it up and off in one motion, revealing a black lace bra. Returning his hands to her hips, he pulled her in for a searing kiss before snaking his hands up her back to unhook her bra. As it fell free, he cupped her breast and planted kisses down her neck and along her collarbone. Her breaths were getting shallower and she knew what his next move would be. She stopped him, tilting his chin up so she could kiss him. "My turn now."

She went to work on his belt and then his jeans. After the second button, she let out a huff of air, "What the hell were they thinking with button fly jeans?"

Henry chuckled and said, "Here, let me." Elizabeth watched as he lifted one side, pulled it out and the remaining three buttons came apart.

Elizabeth's eyes grew wide, which caused Henry to laugh. "That was like magic or something. I think I need to practice that," she said. Henry started to laugh harder, but then her hand was in his jeans stroking him and he moaned with pleasure instead. He pulled her hand away.

"I get to undress you first." Kissing her, he moved up her jawline and sucked her earlobe before sticking his tongue in her ear. She squealed and squirmed against him, his bare cock rubbing against her belly. Sucking and nibbling the flesh behind her ear, his thumbs caught the waistband of her sweats and pushed them far enough over her hips that they fell to the ground. She stepped out of them and put her hands around his waist guiding them to the bed. Henry pulled the comforter back and she quickly climbed into the middle of the queen sized bed. Standing at the edge of the bed, looking down at the most beautiful person on the face of the earth, he wondered what she could possibly see that made her look at him that way. "Shut up and say thanks" flashed through his mind and he smiled and climbed in next to her. "I love you so much," he said, kissing her.

Elizabeth's senses were firing on all cylinders. Everything was heightened. The lingering scent of his soap and cologne mixed with the smell that was uniquely him filled her nostrils and left her yearning. The slightly salty taste of perspiration as she kissed his neck and chest. The feel of his taut muscles underneath her fingers and his hardness pushing into her lower abdomen. The darkness of his eyes as they bored into hers, a mixture of love and lust. His shallows breaths reaching her ears, letting her know that he was as ready for this as she was.

He rolled into her and his mouth was on hers, their chests touching and his thigh pushed between her legs. She reflexively ground down on his leg seeking friction to relieve the aching pressure that she'd never felt to this extent before. Suddenly, he left her mouth and before she even protest his absence, his mouth closed around her nipple, his tongue swirled around the peak. She arched her back into him, "Oh my God," she hummed. He switched sides and she shrieked from pleasure.

"Shh," he said, his arm flailing near her head until he landed on a pillow and pulled it to her face. When he rolled her nipple between his thumb and forefinger, she pushed her hips into him and screamed. The pillow worked amazingly well and he smiled against her breast.

She was panting, "I need you in me. I can't take it anymore." Henry slid back up her body to that his face was even with hers. She wrapped her hand around his cock and pumped him. "God, I need you now."

Seeing her breathless and wanting made him harder than he thought possible. He shifted his body and her legs fell open, her heels pressed into the back of his thighs. Henry put his hand on her wrist and she let go of him. He leaned over and reached into the nightstand and pulled out a condom. Once he rolled it down his length, he took hold of himself and ran his cock through her slick folds. Elizabeth quivered beneath him. "Please," she begged.

Placing his tip at her entrance, he held on to all of the control he could muster. "I'm going to go slow. It might hurt and I don't want to hurt you."

"I don't care. The need hurts too." He pushed just the tip in and she sucked in a sharp breath. She felt the tear and the burn but the need was so strong she couldn't care. "More. I need more." He pushed into her further and it was only out of sheer determination that he didn't bury himself inside her. She was warm and tight, her muscles squeezing him. He was already lightheaded. "All the way," she said after a moment, and he gave her what she asked for. They both moaned at the feeling.

Her heels pushed into him signaling her need for him to move. He started moving slowly, overwhelmed by everything he was feeling, he had trouble getting a steady rhythm going. She pushed into him, "More. Henry, give it all to me. I want all of you." Her admission cleared his mind and allowed him to go faster.

"How close are you?" he ground out, stringing his words out one at a time instead of as a sentence.

"Not close enough. Just go. I'm fine." she said. Henry shook his head and kissed her again. He took his weight on one elbow and snaked his free hand between them. Rubbing tiny circles on her clit, Elizabeth started to writhe beneath him. He focused on going faster, chasing his own pleasure, yet unwilling to leave her behind.

She was prepared to go unsatisfied this first time. She'd heard plenty of stories of how first times went, but when Henry refused to climax without her, she fell in love with him a little bit more. She wasn't sure that was even possible, but as ache between her legs grew to an unbearable level under his touch and the dam finally broke, she knew it was true. She screamed his name into the pillow and rode the waves of ecstacy with him stiff against her.

It took a few minutes to for them to come off their high. They were both covered in a sheen of perspiration and were sticky against each other. Henry pulled out of her, and she grimaced. The sting was still there and she imagined that she would really feel it in the morning. She smiled thinking about it.

"What?" Henry asked. "You're smiling."

"A couple things really. One, that was really good and you are amazing. Two, I was thinking that I'd be sore tomorrow and every time I moved, I would think of us. Of this." She leaned up on her elbow and kissed him."

He gave her a wide smile. "It was okay?"

"Yeah, it was much better than I thought it would be." Henry immediately frowned. "No, that's not what I mean. Girls talk. I've just heard a lot of stories and they aren't always good, especially the first time. I was just prepared not to come."

Henry's expression didn't improve. "Why would you not-?"

"Because some guys are more interested in making sure they are getting off than in making sure their partner is taken care of."

Henry looked at her in disbelief, "But that's half of the pleasure in it. Seeing you come undone because of my touch. That's hot."

"I love you, so much. Spend the night with me." Henry smiled and curled up in her bed, tucking her in close to his side.

Before drifting off, Henry made sure to pray. His prayers that night were in Thanksgiving: for a forgiving and wonderful girlfriend, for a wise mother and for good sex with the promise of great sex to come. He smiled and closed his eyes.

AN: I absolutely love reviews, so please let me know what you think!


	15. Chapter 15

AN: Point of reference: I taught in Catholic schools for a number of years and there is a fine line a teacher has to walk when teaching the tenets of the Faith knowing that certain children in the class are living in situations that directly go against those teachings. How do you say this is sinful without making the child feel bad (or worse, attacked) for a situation that they have no way of controlling? Anyway, that is sort of where the thought for this chapter originated.

Reviews are appreciated

Chapter 15

Four months later-May 1988

Elizabeth was standing in front of the stove patiently waiting for the perfect time to flip the grilled cheese. Beth was sitting at the table coloring a picture. "You need to flip it," she said.

"It's not ready yet," Elizabeth replied.

"You're going to burn it, and it's mine," Beth reminded her.

Elizabeth huffed and flipped the sandwich. It was perfectly browned. Elizabeth sighed. "I was right, wasn't I?" Beth asked. Elizabeth could hear the amusement in her voice.

"Oh hush girl," she said and Beth giggled. While the second side was cooking, she cut up an apple, putting it on one half of the plate and slid the grilled cheese onto the other half. She set it down in front of Beth. "Put your coloring up so you don't get greasy fingers on it." Beth shoved everything to the middle of the table. Elizabeth furrowed her brow. "That wasn't what I meant."

"I was going to color more after lunch, so I didn't want to put it away just to get it back out," Beth said.

"It would be more respectful if you asked if you could do that rather than just ignoring the direction and doing your own thing." Beth lowered her eyes.

"Sorry," she mumbled, and reached to put them away.

Elizabeth placed her hand on her arm stopping her. "It's more about asking than it is about the crayons. You can leave them out if you're going to use them later."

Henry walked in, stopping to kiss Bethie on the head. "How are my girls?" he asked.

"We're good. Do you want me to make you lunch? We're having grilled cheese." He nodded. "How's studying going?"

"Tedious," he remarked. "It's just not going as quickly as I'd like it to. It's exasperating." He watched her butter the bread to make his sandwich. He stepped in close behind her and splayed his hands across her middle, his palms coming to rest on her hips. He pressed kisses to her neck. "You're making it better though." Elizabeth put the sandwich in the skillet before turning to face Henry. She ran her hands up his chest and pecked him on the lips. It was then that she caught sight of Beth glaring at them.

She pushed at Henry to make him stop and addressed Beth. "What's wrong? Are you mad about the crayons?"

"You need to stop doing that. If you die, you're going to go to Hell."

"Hey now. Where did that come from?" Elizabeth asked.

"It came from school didn't it Bethie?" Henry asked already knowing the answer. Elizabeth shot him a confused and then angry look.

Beth held Henry's gaze. "We learned about the 6th Commandment, 'You shall not commit adultery,' so you aren't supposed to act like a married couple if you aren't married. If you do, then you are sinning against God and that's a mortal son. If you die you'll go to Hell."

Elizabeth had a lot of things she wanted to say about this topic, but she kept her mouth shut. Beth was being raised Catholic and attended a Catholic school. She knew full well the Catholic beliefs surrounding premarital sex and cohabitation. They had gone through all of this with Ann and Patrick before they moved in together. However, she did not like the fact that someone might be chastising Beth for it. It's not exactly like Beth got a say in how she and Henry lived.

Henry was slower to jump to conclusions. "What do we do that makes you think we are being sinful?"

Beth gave him the "you must be dumb" look. "You are always kissing, and hugging and touching." She eyed Elizabeth. "Don't forget about the grilled cheese."

Elizabeth jumped over and flipped it. It was a tad more brown than she liked but not burned.

Henry pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. "Okay. What is adultery?"

"When you are loving someone like your wife when she isn't your wife. Well, or husband, but since you're a guy, you'd have a wife."

Henry moved over and sat next to Beth. That's kind of it, but not exactly. See, there is a special thing that married people can do and the product of that can be a baby. And you're supposed to only do it when you're married so if a baby comes, he or she would have a mom and a dad."

"Mom wasn't married when she had me." Beth pointed out.

"That's true." Henry said. "There are a lot of times that babies are born to a man and woman that are not married."

"So the babies came because of a sin Does that mean that they are full of sin because they were made in a sin?"

"No, no, no. It doesn't mean that at all. The babies are the same as all people. We have a sinful nature because of the fall of Adam and Eve. Babies born out of wedlock, to parents that aren't married, are no more sinful than anymore else."

That was getting deep and Henry tried to bring it back full circle and end it. "So me hugging or kissing Elizabeth isn't a sin."

"But if you do the special marriage thing before you get married, then that is a sin."

Elizabeth slid Henry's grilled cheese to him. "Correct. Something else to remember is that everyone is a sinner, so no one is perfect and it's not our place to judge. Each person's sins may be different, and only God gets to judge."

Beth seemed to think about that while she finished her apple, and said nothing more. Elizabeth sat down with her sandwich and the girls made plans to go riding in the afternoon, so Henry could have quiet to work on his paper.

They rode side by side in the middle of the pasture. Being the end of May, the breeze was warm. Beth's ponytail was blowing and Elizabeth glanced over wishing she would've braided it because now it would be all tangled and make combing it a challenge. Beth caught her looking. "I have a question."

"What?" Elizabeth asked.

"Do you?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you and Henry do the thing that your only supposed to do when you're married?" Beth asked, eyeing her.

Elizabeth closed her eyes. "Shit," she thought. "I don't know that I'm the best person to talk to about this," she finally said.

Beth narrowed her eyes, "Because you don't know if you do or not?"

"It's not that. It's because I don't always believe the same things that Catholics do."

"You aren't Catholic?" Beth's eyes grew wide.

Elizabeth shook her head. "I thought you would have figured that out because I hardly ever go to Mass with you and Henry.

Beth's eyes narrowed and there was an accusing tone in her voice, "If you aren't Catholic, then what are you?"

Elizabeth shrugged, "Nothing, I guess. I don't follow any organized religion. I just try to make choices based on what I think is the right thing to do. Some of the things I believe are the same as what Catholics believe and some are not."

Beth thoughtfully considered that for quite a while they rode along. "I can still love you if you aren't Catholic, can't I?"

She smiled. She'd taken Intro to Christianity in high school. She could answer this one handily. "Of course. Remember what Jesus said when he was asked what the greatest commandment was?" She got a blank look from Beth. "He said that you should love your neighbor as yourself, and that means you love and care for all people even if they aren't exactly like you."

"That's a relief," Beth said. Elizabeth gave her a questioning look. She continued, "I have enough to take to Confession every month without adding that!"

Elizabeth chuckled, "Glad I could help." They continued to ride and Elizabeth laughed to herself as she thought about what confession with Beth might look like. It had to be entertaining!

As Beth brushed her pony down, she commented, "You never answered my question."

"I know, and I have no intention of answering it "

"So that means yes," Beth said.

Elizabeth stepped around the corner to face Beth. "It actually means that some things aren't your business regardless of the answer. You are a child, not an adult, so you don't get to weigh in on adult matters. Henry and I make decisions about our relationship based on what we believe to be the best thing for us. What you get to know is that we love each other and we love you and try to take care of you in the best way we can. That's it." Elizabeth spoke with finality hoping the conversation was done, once and for all.

She started to step back when Beth adopted a snotty tone and said, "Fine. Mom." Beth put emphasis on the mom part and Elizabeth whipped around and stared her down.

"What did you just say?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

Beth dropped her head. "I called you Mom," she mumbled.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because it was a mom thing to say. You used to say things like my friend and now you say things like you're my mom. Beth shifted uneasily in her spot, the silence getting to her. "Are you mad?"

"No. Are you?" Elizabeth asked.

"No, but it's annoying sometimes," she said. "It was better when you were my friend."

"How so?" Beth's admission made Elizabeth sad.

"We just used to do fun things and I didn't have to think about what other people thought. You were my friend and that's all you were. Now you're more, but I don't know what exactly and it's hard to explain to other people. And I don't like giving people another reason to not like me." Beth slumped her shoulders and stared at her feet.

"Wait. I don't follow."

"Kids ask about you at school because you pick me up and you come to see my teacher just like a mom would, but you aren't and it's too hard to explain and it's just one more thing about me that's weird. And weird kids don't have friends." Beth's voice cracked and Elizabeth's heart hurt for her.

"Come here." Beth stepped out and the moved to sit on a straw bale outside of the stall. Elizabeth pulled Beth up into her lap and hugged her tight. "What do you think would make it better?" Beth shrugged.

"I don't know that I can stop doing everything because Henry has classes that interfere with picking you up, but I can stay away of you want-if you think that would make it easier." Elizabeth sympathized with Beth. She knew what it was like to be the odd kid.

Beth shook her head. "I don't think it matters."

"School is hard and friends are harder. I wish I could make it better. I had some of the same problems and it know what it's like to be left out. I was definitely a weird kid in school. I didn't have people friends. My friends were in books, and when my parents died, I was so sad that I couldn't even read. I was smart and liked math and that made people think I was weird too. Maybe that's why we get along so well. Weird people are cool, and "normal" people can't handle that."

"I just wish I had a friend at school," Beth lamented.

"I know. It would make things a lot easier wouldn't it?" Elizabeth kissed Beth on the forehead. "Just keep doing your part to be a good friend and it will happen. I finally got a really good friend in high school and I have more friends in college. The more people you know, the more chances there are to find a friend. In the meantime, you're stuck with me."

"Can we do something fun together like we used to?" Beth asked.

"What do you mean? We just spent all afternoon riding horses. You love that!"

Beth grinned. "I mean something super special."

Elizabeth laughed and pushed Beth off her lap. "Super special, huh? Buttercup, Prancer, don't listen to Beth. She thinks you aren't very special."

"That's not what I said," Beth pretended to pout.

Elizabeth reached out and tickled her and pulled her into a hug. "I have an idea, but let's get everything finished here and then I'll see if Henry agrees."

"Alright." Beth stepped back into the stall and finished brushing her pony and Elizabeth finished and put everything away.

Late in the afternoon, they were on their way to town to hit McDonald's, the park and the ice cream shop before heading home. They played catch and Henry pushed both Elizabeth and Beth on the swings. They played tag and threw coins in the fountain at UVA and made wishes. It was a good outing and Elizabeth hoped that it made Beth feel a little better.

Henry took over the bedtime routine and got Beth to bed without fuss. He found Elizabeth working at the kitchen table late that night. He opened a couple bottles of beer and set one in front of Elizabeth. She looked up smiling. "Thanks."

Henry sat down. "What did you think about today's conversation?"

"I felt better about yours than mine," Elizabeth said sighing.

"What was yours?" Henry asked, grimacing.

"I got the hard press followed by the 'I'm not sure what you spot you hold in my life' talk," Elizabeth said.

"Hard press?" Henry asked.

"She wanted to know if we'd had sex? I mean not in those words, but that's what she was asking."

"And?"

"And she's nine. She got the 'that's not your business' answer and then she said I was acting like a mom and she has no friends, not even me anymore because I'm busy acting like a mom."

Elizabeth pushed the books to the side and laid her head on the table. "I am seriously messing this whole thing up. I don't know what the hell I'm doing."

"That explains our carefree evening, and for the record, I haven't known what the hell I'm doing this entire time. You're doing it a lot better than I am." He ran his fingers through her hair. "Hey, look at me." She looked up and met his gaze. "We love her and our best is good enough. It's better than any alternative she's got."

Henry stood and pulled Elizabeth to her feet. "Thank you for doing this with me." Henry leaned in and kissed her softly. "Can I take you to bed?"

Elizabeth pulled back to get a good look at him. "After all of the going to Hell talk today, you want to engage in that "thing" that only married people should do?"

"Very much, so, yes," Henry said, grinning.

She let out a sharp laugh, "How do you justify telling Beth that sex outside of marriage is a sin and then purposely go and do it?"

"Sex outside of marriage is a sin, and I'm a sinner. I've never said otherwise." He looked at her curiously. "Do you remember when Mom was in the hospital and you snuck Beth in to see her?"

"Of course, but what does that-"

"What did you tell Beth about it?"

"Uh, I'm not sure. Something about some rules being dumb."

"Yes, but you also told her that when you choose to break a rule, you know what the consequence could be. So, when you choose to break the rule, you choose to accept the consequence willingly."

"So, sex with me is worth eternal damnation?" she giggled.

"Well, we have become pretty good at it." He pulled her close again and kissed her. "But really, if I died right now, I would be totally comfortable going to justify my actions to God. You are the person I will be with for the rest of my life. My love for you knows no bounds, so if I were to be sent to Hell because there isn't a ring on your finger, then I would go without hesitation."

"That has to be the oddest, yet hottest proclamation of love I've ever heard," she said laughing.

Henry laughed along with her. "The question is, did it work?"

"Oh yeah. It definitely worked. Take me to bed and show me how much you love me."

"My pleasure." Henry shot her a wicked grin and whisked her off her feet, carrying her off to his room.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

Elizabeth sat in the car pick up line at Beth's school waiting for dismissal. Today was Beth's first day of 5th grade. Henry and Elizabeth started classes for their senior year two weeks prior. Classes were going well but she couldn't squelch the nauseousness that plagued her now. In the console lay three letters that she felt held their fate, at least for the next few years. She wouldn't open them without Henry, but they would wait until after Beth went to bed. It was something they needed to do together, without Beth.

Beth came bounding up to the car with the biggest smile across her face. Elizabeth couldn't help but smile back. Beth had been very anxious about starting school again when she found out that she'd been assigned Miss Eulah Stanley, the "monster" teacher,as others called her. Henry and Elizabeth convinced her that you can't make judgments about people based on gossip and even Beth conceded that the kids most vocal about how they disliked Miss Stanley were the kids who misbehaved the most. Of course, she would get after them more.

All of that seemed to be erased when Beth opened the car door. She leaped in and tackled Elizabeth in a great big hug. "THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE!' she yelled, causing Elizabeth to laugh.

"What happened? Is your teacher nice?"

Beth shook her head, "No, she's awful, but who cares? Are you ready for this?" She waited for Elizabeth to acknowledge and nod. "I have a friend! Are you excited? I am!"

It was then that a horn honked and Elizabeth realized they were holding up the line, something she'd learned was the number one way to make parents at the school dislike you, so she waved her apologies and took off. "I think this calls for ice cream!" she said and Beth squealed.

They sat together at a picnic table outside the ice cream parlor eating their ice cream sundaes. "So tell me all about your friend," Elizabeth said.

"Okay, so her name is Amelia Martin and she just moved her a month ago. She's older than me. She's almost 11 and she likes dolls and, are you ready for this?" Elizabeth gave her the go ahead gesture. "She likes horses, just like me! Isn't that exciting? Can we invite her out to ride with us tomorrow, please?"

"Definitely not tomorrow and not this weekend because we're going to see your Mom. But, you get out of school early next Tuesday and I don't have class, so maybe she could come over then and we could ride. I will talk to your teacher tomorrow and see if I can get her parents' contact information tomorrow. Will that work?"

She could tell that Beth wasn't happy about having to wait, and wanted to argue, but didn't. Elizabeth wondered how long it would be before she tried to make her case.

"Tell me about your teacher."

"Ugh! She's awful!" Beth threw her head down on the table moaning.

Elizabeth laughed, "Surely it can't be that bad. It's only the first day!"

"She calls me Mary because Beth Stephens is in my class this year too and she says there can't be two Beths and since my real name is Mary, she's calling me Mary."

Elizabeth narrowed her eyes, "Did you ask Miss Stanley to call you Beth or did she think that because you are listed as Mary on the attendance list?"

"I asked and she said no."

"Hmm, alright. So what do you think we should do here? Normally, I would tell you that you should try to take care of the problem, but it seems that you did try and that didn't work. I can go in with you tomorrow and try to help you fix it or you can decide that it isn't a big deal and let it go."

Beth leaned her head on her hand while she finished her ice cream. "I want you to go fix it. Grandma Ann called me Mary Elizabeth and I don't want anyone else, especially meany Miss Stanley, calling me Mary."

"Got it. I'll talk to Henry about it tonight and I'll step in and talk to her in the morning when I drop you off, and I need Amelia's phone number so I can call her parents. Will that work?" Beth nodded slowly, like she was unsure that Elizabeth's plan was sufficient. "So tell me how you and Amelia met."

Beth's mood changed instantly and she told Elizabeth all about sitting next to Amelia in class and showing her the playground and sitting next to her at lunch and how Amelia shared that she was scared to come to school, but she was glad that Beth was being a good friend to her. Elizabeth's heart was near bursting with happiness for Beth and she hoped that Amelia would be a long lasting friend and then she remembered the letters tucked in her purse and although Elizabeth wasn't a praying person, or even a believer, she prayed on Beth's behalf that everything would work out and Beth could keep her friend past this school year.

Henry slogged in after 8 that night looking worn out. Elizabeth was just coming down stairs after getting Beth tucked in. "She's still awake if you want to see how school went." Elizabeth offered.

Henry met her on the bottom step, pulling her close and kissing her. "I'll be back in a minute." He started up the stairs, but turned and looked at Elizabeth, "Was it good?" he asked.

"Mostly," she said, but try not to let her get too wound up. Henry smirked and headed up.

It was nearly 30 minutes before Henry made it back down. "I failed. She's wound tight, but I'm happy that she made a friend." Henry sat down on the couch where Elizabeth was reading a book and she propped her feet in his lap. He started rubbing them. "What's the deal with the teacher not calling her by her name?"

"I'm not sure, but I told her that I'd go fix it in the morning. Surely it isn't as cut and dry as Beth seems to think it is."

"Well you'll find out I guess," he said, focusing his efforts on the ball of her foot.

"God that feels so good." She let her head fall back for a few minutes and then sat straight up. "I almost forgot." She leapt off of the couch and came back with the letters. "I got a letter today and you got two." She handed Henry's to him. He saw the return addresses and he rubbed the nape of his neck with his hand and exhaled. "This is scary. Which one first?"

"I'm not even sure. Umm, let's do the one from the Marine Corps." Henry slipped his finger under the flap and pulled it across and then removed the letter.

"Dear Mr. Henry Patrick McCord, blah, blah, blah. You will need to report to Parris Island, South Carolina on January 10th for 13 weeks of Basic Military Training. Blah, blah, blah. Congratulations." She slipped her hand into his. "That is quite a bit earlier than we thought, only a month after graduation" he said.

"Yeah." Elizabeth was having trouble forming clear thoughts. Enlistment was something that always seemed in the distant future and now it was only roughly five months away. He'd be gone and it would just be here and Beth. She stuck her letter under her leg, not prepared to deal with it just yet. "What's the one from Maureen say?"

"She's never sent a letter before," Henry commented as he pulled it from the envelope. "Oh shit!"

"What's it say?" Elizabeth took it from him. Her eyes grew wide and then she closed them. "She wants to live with us?"

"No is the answer to that question. I won't do it to Beth. Beth was four the last time that Maureen got out of rehab and waltzed into Mom and Dad's and started acting like she gave a shit and then the first opportunity that came up to hook up with her old dealer, she was gone. Do you know how that messed with Beth? And the rest of us who were left to pick up the pieces? No. It's a firm no and I'll set her straight when we go up this weekend." Henry fell back against the couch and ran his hands through his hair.

Elizabeth slipped her hand into his. "Okay. But I do want you to think about something before you talk to Maureen. She's been away for how long, almost 5 years? She's been clean and in counseling and she wouldn't be going back to the same life. She knows no one here. It could be a chance for her to start a new life."

Henry looked up and Elizabeth saw hurt and anger in his eyes unlike any she'd ever seen before. He sat up and turned to face her, his voice raised. "You don't know what it was like growing up and always having to tiptoe around the elephant in the room. You didn't see how Mom bent over backwards to try and help her when she didn't want help and when Dad finally gave up altogether and how they used to fight over her. And then when Beth came along and Maureen was just gone until Beth was almost 1 and she wanted to go to rehab but only lasted for a week before she was back on the porch strung out screaming for us to let her in so she could take her baby. And how she'd show up every now and again and play mommy until Beth would get just attached enough and then she'd be gone again. I can't do it to her or to you. If I'm gone, you'd be dealing with her on your own. No. Not an option."

"Okay. Not an option to live with us, but where's she going to go? Back to Pittsburgh, right back to the same old situation. She's asking because she wants out. She's trying to get out and do better."

"It's not my job to take care of her. I think I've already given up enough cleaning up her messes."

"You mean me." Elizabeth and Henry whipped around to see Beth standing in the doorway. "I'm sorry you have to take care of me. I'm sorry I messed everything up." Tears streamed down her face as she ran out the door.

Henry stared wide eyed at the open door while he actually thought about what he'd said. "Dammit!" Henry pounded his fist on his knee, and buried his face in his hands. Elizabeth looked between the crumpled Henry and the open door, unsure which situation to address first.

She grabbed Henry's hand. "Look at me." When he didn't immediately do what she asked, Elizabeth put her hands on his head and physically tilted it so their eyes met. "I love you and we're going to fix this. I'm going to go get Beth and bring her back. Okay?"

Henry nodded his understanding and Elizabeth headed out to find Beth. There were only a handful of places Beth would go and lucky for Elizabeth, Beth wasn't a quiet crier. She found her quickly in the hayloft of the horse barn. Elizabeth climbed the ladder and saw Beth laying in the loose straw, still crying hard. She made her way over and sat down. "Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

"No." Elizabeth just sat quietly and it only took a couple minutes before Beth to calm down and let loose. "Henry just said he doesn't want me. I just finally made a friend and now I have to leave and I don't even know where I'm going." She looked up at Elizabeth with a knowing look in her eye. . "Henry had to take me because no one else would. He didn't want to, but he had to."

"First thing. You aren't going anywhere. And second, you aren't here with Henry because he had to take you. That's actually the opposite of what happened. When Grandma Ann first found out she had cancer they were worried about what might happen to you if something happened to her. Have you ever heard of foster care?"

"I know that Grandma and Grandpa said it before but I don't know what it is."

"Well, foster care is a system set up to take care of kids whose families aren't able to take care of them. The reasons can be different, but when a child's family cannot keep him or her, the child would go to live with another family and that family agrees to care for the child."

"Is it someone you know?" Beth asked.

"Occasionally, but a lot of times it's not. And some of the families are very nice and sometimes they may not be."

"So if kids don't have a family to live with, they have to go live with strangers?"

"Yeah. Grandma and Grandpa were worried that when Grandma got sick that Grandpa would have to take care of her and he couldn't take care of you too. They thought that you may have to go to a foster home to live because Henry was going away to college and Erin and Shane were too young to be in charge of you. Did you know that?"

Beth shook her head. "I don't want to go live with strangers."

"I know baby and you don't ever have to because Henry loved you so much that he wouldn't let that happen. He took special classes and even got special permission so that he could take you to college with him. He took you not because he had to, but because he wanted to. He wanted you to always be with your family." Elizabeth pulled her close to her side and hugged her tight.

"But he just said-" Beth started.

"What Henry said really had nothing to do with you. He's upset about something with your mom. I know what it sounded like, but he didn't mean that. I promise. Will you go talk to him and let him apologize?" Beth finally nodded and followed Elizabeth down the ladder and back into the house.

Henry hadn't moved from the spot on the couch. When the girls walked in the door, Henry immediately stood. Elizabeth noted his watery eyes as they fell on Beth. "I'm so sorry Bethie. I didn't mean it. I love you and I want you to stay here with me, with us."

"I forgive you. Elizabeth explained it to me, and I'm sorry Mom is the way she is. I get mad at her too, but I still love her."

"Yeah. I get that." He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Listen. I've never had to raise a little girl before, so this isn't the first mistake I've made and I know it won't be the last, but always remember that I love you and I'm trying my best."

She kissed him on the cheek. "I love you too and you're already doing a whole lot better than the dad that never showed up. You're at least getting good marks for attendance."

Henry laughed, "I've always been a big fan of participation points. It's late and you're going to be a big crab tomorrow because you didn't get enough sleep." He started to put her down and she hung on to him. "Can you carry me back to bed?" Henry rolled his eyes at her, but headed up the steps with Beth attached to him like a koala. Elizabeth heard them giggling and let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding.

She went to gather her book and glass of water from the table and saw the third letter stuffed between the cushions. The letter was from the CIA. _Elizabeth Adams, We're pleased to inform you of your early acceptance into the Introductory Analyst Training Program. The program will begin with on campus orientation December 10-14, followed by correspondence coursework from January 15th thru April 15th and on campus training on May 10th. Please fill out the application and return before the October 1st deadline. Thank you, Conrad Dalton, Director, New Employee Training Program_

She quickly folded the letter and shoved it inside her book as Henry hit the bottom step. "Everything okay?" she asked.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm not sure what you said, but she seemed to forgive me pretty easily." Henry wrapped her in a hug.

"I told her the truth, that she could have had to go into foster care, but that you wouldn't let that happen because you loved her so much. Also that you were frustrated with Maureen and what you said was in reference to her, and not Beth."

"Have I told you today that I love you?" Henry asked, bringing his lips to hers and kissing her softly.

"Actually, you have." Elizabeth giggled.

"Well, I love you even more than I did then." Henry kissed her again. "Hey, what was your letter? We didn't get to open it."

"Oh, I went ahead and opened it. It was just a form to fill out if I wanted to join a program. I don't think I'm interested."

"Are you sure?" Henry asked. "Who was it from?"

"I'm sure. No one important, " she said, kissing him passionately. "Let's get ready for bed. It's been a long night."

Elizabeth had a tired Beth by the hand when she walked into the school building the next morning. Beth's sleepiness was compounded by having to get up early to go scout out the teacher, but Elizabeth masterfully reminded Beth that part of the plan was to get Amelia's parents phone number.

She knocked softly on the door frame and stuck her head in the room. Miss Stanley looked up from her desk. 'Yes?" the older woman said.

"Good morning," Elizabeth said brightly, extending her hand to the woman. "I'm Elizabeth Adams, Beth's guardian."

Miss Stanley looked down at Beth. "Mary." Then she turned her attention to Elizabeth. "I've been informed of Mary's unique living situation."

"She goes by Beth," Elizabeth interrupted, completely ignoring the reference to her and Henry, "and I'm here to correct the misunderstanding."

"There are 2 girls named Elizabeth in the class and the other girl goes by Beth as well. As you can see, two children with the same name will cause confusion. Mary is this child's given name and that is the name she'll go by."

Elizabeth was seething, but kept her tone pleasant. "I'm sure you'll be excited to learn that both girls were in Mrs. Stephens's class last year and just used the initial for their last name and it wasn't a problem. The girls are used to being referred to in that manner."

"No." The woman moved to sit behind her desk as if the conversation were over.

Elizabeth's eyes went wide and she swallowed hard. "Beth, it's getting close to time for opening prayers to start. Why don't you run on along and sit in the gym with your class? Maybe you can chat with Amelia for a few minutes." Beth's eyes lit up and she gave Elizabeth a quick hug before leaving. "See you this afternoon," she said, waving.

Then she turned back to Miss Stanley. "Alright Beulah, we need to fix this now. Beth is the name she has used for the last two years. It's the name she answers to and that's what we expect her to be called. I'm not sure what the problem is but it's not on Beth's end."

"My name is Eulah and you can refer to me as Miss Stanley," the woman stood, and put her hands on the edge of the desk, leaning forward.

"Oh, my mistake. You might be offended and it could show a lack of respect when I don't have the common decency to use your appropriate name. Isn't that the case Beulah?". Elizabeth placed her hands on the opposite side of the desk and leaned toward the woman, making it obvious that she had no intention of backing down."

"I'm not sure there's any good reason for me to change what I call the girl."

"Well, other than the general disrespect of knowing Beth's name and choosing to devalue her by not using her name, there is also the issue that only one person ever called her Mary and that was her grandmother, who passed away last year. I believe Beth asked kindly and now I've asked as well. If this request isn't met immediately, my next stop will be the principal. Oh, and one other thing Miss Stanley," Elizabeth flashed her a bright smile. "I was wondering if I could get a phone number for Amelia Martin's parents. Beth wanted to invite Amelia to go horseback riding after the early dismissal next week."

The teacher was flustered, but didn't say a word, only scratching the number out on a scrap of paper. "Thanks so much. Her uncle and I look forward to many more positive encounters with you this year. And please let me know if you ever need any help in the classroom. I have most mornings off and would be happy to offer my assistance." With that, Elizabeth turned on her heel and left the room.

She was able to catch Beth as she walked out of the gym. "Let me know if she calls you anything but Beth okay. Love you. Have a good day today."

She started to step away when Beth said, "Elizabeth, wait. I want you to say hi to my friend Amelia."

"Oh absolutely. Hi Amelia. It's nice to meet you." She reached out and shook the little blonde headed girl's hand. "I just got your parents' phone numbers so maybe we can set up a time for you to come over."

Amelia and Beth both giggled. "That would be fun!" Amelia said. "Thanks."

Elizabeth waved bye and was about three steps away when she overheard Amelia. "Why do you call your mom by her first name?"

Elizabeth slowed her step, curious as to what the answer might be and Beth said, as if it were the most obvious. "Because she didn't have me in her belly."

"Oh. So what do you want to do at recess?" Elizabeth was too far away to hear that part of the conversation, but she thought she might need to go looking through Beth's box of letters soon.


	17. Chapter 17

AN: Sorry to keep everyone waiting. I hope you enjoy this next installment! Thank you for your kind words so far. Please, keep them coming.

Chapter 17

Henry stood in the doorway between the kitchen and living room and watched Elizabeth pour a cup of coffee. She'd been quiet this week and he had dismissed it as the increased workload for her classes, but now he knew what was really going on. He'd found it by accident, when taking out the trash. An envelope fell out of the trash bag landing next to the dumpster. He picked it up with the intention of just tossing it in, but when he saw the return address, he pulled out the letter and read it.

Henry now held the letter as he watched her. She turned around but hadn't noticed him yet. "Were you going to tell me about this?" he asked softly, sliding it across the counter to her.

Her eyes flitted over it knowingly, and pushed it back to him. "Truthfully? No, I wasn't."

"I thought we were making decisions together." She sensed hurt in his voice which only fueled her sadness.

"I didn't tell you because I didn't feel like that was really a decision to be made. It's not possible. I don't see any reason to hash something out that can't happen anyway."

"But this isn't just something." He held the letter up in front of her. "This is your dream Elizabeth. I can't believe you are willing to just let it go without a fight."

"I have other things to think about now. Other priorities," she said, her frustration in her very apparent. "I'm not 18 and carefree."

"No," he argued, his voice raised. "You're 22 and giving up the one thing that has been a constant this whole time." He pushed the paper back across the counter to her. "You're going to fill this out and you're going to go."

"Don't tell me what I'm going to do." Elizabeth snapped. Then she stopped, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She stayed that way for a full minute before opening her eyes and looking at Henry. "How? How am I going to be able to go? Sure. I could do the orientation stuff, but then you're gone to Basic and I'll still have classes for spring semester. How am I supposed to do the extra class work they send me for training and take care of Beth? And assuming I am able to somehow do that and not go crazy, then there's the six months of academy training where I'm supposed to live on site, and you'll be stationed who knows where and possibly even deployed. It isn't meant to be Henry," she said, sliding it back to him.

"What have you tried? Did you call and ask about alternative housing? Have you asked about spreading the correspondence coursework over a longer time, maybe starting over Christmas break? There have to be options. You have no idea how many people I bugged and how many requests I made and letters I wrote to UVA to get it worked out so I could bring Beth with me. I could've stayed at home. It would have been easier. Mom would've been happier, but I wanted it and I wasn't going to willingly give it up. I just don't want to see you give up your dreams because of Beth and me." She stared at him. "Please. Just check into it for me. You have to be their top pick. You don't know what they would do to get you."

"I'll call and ask," she finally said, relenting her position, but not sounding hopeful.

"Thank you." Henry stepped closer, placing his hands on her waist. "I'm sorry if I am being pushy and rude. You have given me everything I've ever dreamed of and the thought that you would sacrifice your career goals and personal happiness to give me mine is just something that I can't get on board with. I love you too much to let you do that. We'll figure out a way to make it work. I know we will." They rested their foreheads together.

"Okay," she whispered. Their moment was interrupted by a knock at the door. She pushed away from him. "Oh, that's Amelia's mom coming to pick her up. I'll get the door if you'll go get the girls." Henry nodded and headed upstairs. Elizabeth opened the door and was openly confused to see the professor of her International Politics class. "Tom?"

Equally confused, Tom said, "Elizabeth? How do you know the-"

"No! Not yet!" Amelia yelled as she came racing through the living room with Beth hot on her heels and they headed out the door toward the barn.

Suddenly, it dawned on Elizabeth. "Tom Martin. Oh my gosh, I feel so dumb. You're Amelia's dad. I guess I never thought about it having only spoken to your wife. I didn't put two and two together."

Amelia's dad was still standing there bewildered. "I still haven't put two and two together. Are you the nanny?" His forehead was wrinkled in confusion.

She laughed, "Come on in. No. It's a long story, but the gist is that Beth lives here with me and her Uncle Henry, who is my boyfriend, and we both care for her."

Tom nodded some sort rudimentary understanding of the situation. Henry rounded the corner, "Hi. I'm Henry McCord."

Elizabeth made official introductions. "Henry. This is Tom Martin, Amelia's dad _and_ my International Politics professor." They shook hands.

"Nice to meet you," Tom said. Henry smiled and nodded.

"Why don't we head out toward the barn? If we don't go get them, you may not see your daughter for several hours," Elizabeth said leading the group in that direction.

"You have horses?" Tom questioned as he hit the barn door. The girls stood about halfway down, petting Prancer.

"Yep. Five. The girls had fun riding today, didn't you?"

"It was the best day of my life!" Amelia said.

"Mine too," Beth chimed in. Amelia reached over and hugged her.

Elizabeth smiled. "I love that the girls get along so well."

"Yes. Beth here has definitely been a blessing. Amelia was very unsure about coming down here to stay at UVA with me this school year. You probably know that I'm doing a two year fellowship. My wife and Amelia stayed in DC last year, but we missed so much time together that she agreed to come here this year."

"So you'll be going back to DC after school's out in May," Elizabeth asked.

"We'll stay until Amelia's done with her school, but definitely by June we should be back."

"Well, I'd say that I'm sorry to hear that, since I know how much Beth likes Amelia, but maybe they won't end up that far away from each other after all." Tom looked at Elizabeth quizzically. "It's possible that after graduation, I may end up in DC as well."

"Ah, the CIA analyst program? You'd be an excellent addition to Conrad's team." Tom said.

"Wait! How did you know about that?" Elizabeth couldn't pretend to hide her surprise.

"Conrad and I go way back. We were in Vietnam together. Whenever an application crosses his desk and he thinks I may know the applicant, he gives me a call." Tom shrugged. "I told Conrad he'd be a fool not to offer you early admittance into the program. With your math background and astute knowledge of political affairs, you are the perfect candidate." She felt Henry nudge her.

"So you gave me a recommendation? Thank you. That was very kind. I'm just not sure I'll be able to swing it with Beth. We'll have to see."

Tom frowned. "What do you mean?"

"Well, just the logistics may not work in my favor. Henry graduates in December and then heads off to the Marines in mid January. Even if I can keep up with all of my regular class work and the CIA training materials that they will be sending, there's the issue of living at Langley during the first six months of training. Like I said, we'll just have to see." Elizabeth said, closing the matter. She'd already felt Henry's elbow in her side at least three times while they were talking. He was definitely taking this as a positive sign. Elizabeth begrudgingly let herself hope so too.

That night, Henry sat on the bed with Beth, reading aloud to her. Elizabeth had started reading the Little House books and somehow Henry ended up taking over, likely because Elizabeth had two late classes each week this semester and Henry only had one. He finished the chapter and he was tucking Beth in when she asked, "What's the CIA?"

"It stands for the Central Intelligence Agency. It's sort of like police that watch the whole world to stop bad stuff from happening to us in the United States." Henry said.

"Is Elizabeth going to work there?" Beth asked.

"I hope so. She really wants to."

"Then why wouldn't she just do it." Beth asked.

"A couple reasons. First, the job is a long way from here. You'd have to move to a new town, which would mean a new school and new friends."

"Oh," Beth said. "She wouldn't take it because of me."

"Actually because of us. She wants to stay here because it's where you are comfortable and she knows that would be important while I'm away with the Marines."

"Would we come back here when it's over?" Beth asked.

"What do you mean? When what's over?" Henry was puzzled.

"When she's done with the CIA and you're done with the Marines?"

"Well, I don't see her selling this place because it's her grandparents, but we aren't talking about something that's just for a few years like college is. This is for a long time. I will be in the Marines for at least four years, if not longer and we may move somewhere far away for that, but Elizabeth's job would be her job, like Grandpa's job is at the steel mill."

"Oh." Her face fell. "I like it best here."

"I know, and that's part of Elizabeth's reason for wanting to stay. Did you know that Amelia was only going to be here for a year?" Beth's head whipped around to look at him.

"What do you mean?"

Henry said, "Her dad teaches at UVA and he's only going to be there the rest of this school year, and after that, he and Mrs. Martin and Amelia are moving back to their home in Washington D.C."

Beth looked crestfallen. "How far away is that?"

"It's not quite as far as when we go to see Maureen. But," he said, a smile turning up on the corners of his mouth. "Elizabeth's job would be in the same area that Amelia lives in." Beth's face immediately lit up. "Now it probably wouldn't be the same as now, because I don't know that you would go to the same school. There are a lot more schools in DC than here, but you would be a lot closer, so you could see each other more often than if you lived here." Henry hoped he was presenting a plan that could actually be realized. The girls became friends quickly and he hoped that the Martins would want to continue the friendship once they left the area.

"Can we take Prancer?" she asked, hopefulness in her eyes.

Henry shook his head, "No. I don't think so. It's a big city like Baltimore. There's no place to keep a horse in the city. But Prancer could stay here and we visit him here."

"Okay." She gave Henry a hug and a kiss. "I'm going to talk to Grandma Ann about it and see what she thinks." She snuggled down under her covers. "Love you Henry."

"I love you Bethie." He pulled the door shut and headed downstairs.

Henry stepped off the bottom stair into the kitchen and caught Elizabeth wiping her eyes. "Babe?"

She snapped her head up and smiled at him, "Yeah?" She could tell by his look that he'd caught her.

"What's wrong?" he asked as he pulled her into his embrace.

She chuckled softly, "Just thinking and I'm overly emotional. All bets are that I start my period in three days."

"Thinking about what?" He nuzzled into her neck placing a gentle kiss there.

"It's dumb," she mumbled, wrapping her arms around him.

"I doubt that."

"Do you ever wonder how your life would be different if you made different decisions? And no, I don't mean that I want to change my life or that I'm unhappy. I just wonder sometimes what it would look like."

"And that made you cry?" he asked, still keeping her close, his hand on the small of her back.

"All of the things that I think I might gain versus the things that I would lose. I'm overly emotional. I stated that up front." She tipped her head back so she could see him better. Henry looked down and studied her, reading her fears. He leaned down, pressing his lips to hers.

He pulled back and met her gaze. "I do it all of the time, but no matter what I think I might gain or what might be easier in my life, there is no way that I would trade it for this, for you." His lips wrapped around hers, soft and warm, pulling her top lip between his. Henry's hand dropped lower, pulling her up into him.

"Agreed," she mumbled, parting her lips. A shiver ran up her spine as he kissed her. "I'd never give you up." He broke away, linking his fingers in hers and pulled her toward his bedroom.

They lay spooned together in the center of his bed, lower limbs tangled together and his arm banded around her middle holding her hand. "I promise I will do everything I can to make sure your job with the CIA works out. You want it. You deserve it. I want to make it happen for you."

"Thank you." She pulled his hand up and kissed it. "I love you."

"Love you too," he said as he drifted off. She squeezed his hand and closed her eyes settling into sleep.


	18. Chapter 18

AN: I know this has been a long time coming. Sorry. I was trying to tie up a few loose ends elsewhere. I'm not sure this flows as well as I'd like, but I needed a bridge to get to the next part. I hope you enjoy it.

Chapter 18

Henry sat on the end of Elizabeth's bed watching her get ready. He held the envelope labeled "Graduation" in his hand. He stared at it a long time before speaking. "I never would've made it without you."

"Yes, you would have," Elizabeth said, stopping in front of him to put her earrings in. "It probably would have been more challenging is all. You wanted it too much not to have worked it out, remember?" She placed her hands on his shoulders squeezing them.

Henry pulled her down to sit on his lap. "No. Really. We were, what, maybe six weeks into school, and I was ready to go home. I was in so far over my head. Bethie was as unhappy as I was. I was planning to go to the Dean and withdraw from classes, but I decided to pray about it before I did anything drastic. I prayed that God would send me a sign, a sign that would tell me if I should stay or go home. Bethie and I met you the next afternoon and you came over the following day. It was the first really good experience we'd had since moving and it gave us hope that there could be more." He held her a little closer. "God, I'm going to miss you next week."

"It will only be a small taste of what Basic is going to be," she mumbled against the side of his head, kissing his temple.

"I can't think about that right now," he said. "Only one thing at a time."

"Then let's get you graduated, Henry Patrick McCord," she said and pulled herself away from him and headed into the bathroom to finish getting ready.

Henry looked once again at the letter in his hands and then opened it.

 _Henry,_

 _I bet you thought this day would never come! You were so young and naive when you set out on this adventure with Mary Elizabeth. Your father and I worried that you wouldn't be able to keep up with both your studies and our girl at the same time, but the Lord blessed you making it possible._

 _There are no words that could ever adequately express how proud I am of you. You are heading out into a world of uncertainty, and I don't know what challenges you will face in the future, but I know that you will be tackle them with the same determination that you channelled to get to where you are today._

 _Be sure to hug those around you and tell them thank you for helping you achieve this great accomplishment._

 _I love you so much and congratulations. Mom_

Elizabeth came out of the bathroom. "I'm ready." Henry stood and closed the distance between them in three strides, pulling her close. Elizabeth attempted to laugh, but her was holding her tight enough that it came out more like a bark. "What are you doing?"

"Thank you for getting me here." Henry bent down to kiss her and she quickly covered his mouth. "Hey," he said into her hand.

"I just put on lipstick and you're going to mess it up." She moved her hand and pecked his lips. "You're welcome, now let's go Mr. Summa Cum Laude McCord. Do you have all of your things?"

"Downstairs on the couch." Elizabeth moved to step away and he hauled her back against him. He whispered, "Just so you know, tonight I plan to be all over you."

"We send Beth away and this is what happens?" she smirked.

"Dad, Erin and Shane will have a lovely road trip with Bethie taking her back to Pittsburgh and I plan to have a lovely night with you. So, just be prepared."

Elizabeth laughed. "Come on."

Monday morning, Henry pulled into the parking lot of the main building of the CIA. "Are you ready for this?" Henry asked, reaching across to take her hand.

"Yes. And no," she said. "I'm a lot more nervous than I thought I'd be. I'm going to miss you and Beth."

"It's five days babe, and then I'm coming to get you for Christmas with my family and then we'll go home and celebrate with Will." He leaned over kissing her cheek.

"And then," she started, but was interrupted.

"We aren't talking about the 'and then' right now," he said. "Happy times only right now."

"Okay. You'll walk me in won't you?" Elizabeth asked.

"Of course." He squeezed her hand a little tighter, acknowledging her uneasiness.

He grabbed her bags from the back seat and met her at the front of the car. She slung her backpack over her shoulder and laced her fingers into his and they walked together into the building.

Just a little over a month later, they stood together in the airport terminal and she clung to him. "This bugs me," she murmured.

"What does?" he asked.

"That I'm not handling this better. I don't want to cry. I don't want that to be the last thing you see, but this is hard and Beth is devastated and it's for a long time."

"Thirteen weeks and you will come to my graduation and then we'll figure life out." He pushed back the pieces of hair that had fallen from her ponytail. "I love you." He kissed her chastely. "Let the Martins help. They offered and they were sincere. Don't try to do it all yourself."

"I'm so glad that Beth has Amelia for a friend. It's bad now, but it would be so much worse." Elizabeth pressed her ear to Henry's chest and listened to his heart beat steadily. The call was made for the men to board the plane. She squeezed him tighter. "I love you," she whispered as their lips met. He kissed her slowly, trying to make it last.

"I'll see you soon." He turned and walked away quickly so neither had to see the tears of the other.

"Elizabeth." Elizabeth felt like she had just fallen asleep when she was being pulled out of it by Beth.

"What honey?" she mumbled to the girl who was standing at her side of the bed.

"I can't sleep. I miss Henry."

"Come on," she said, her eyes only slits, still puffy from crying herself to sleep earlier. Elizabeth was still half asleep, but the thought did cross her mind to just let Beth sleep with her rather than go through this nightly ritual of waking in the middle of the night. She shifted over and Beth climbed in and scooted close enough that Elizabeth could put a hand on her shoulder. "I miss him too Beth."

Time passed in a blur and at a snail's pace simultaneously. Each day went by so fast, yet the weeks crawled by. Elizabeth was completely overwhelmed with the amount of work she had to do. She was very thankful that she had taken extra hours the previous couple of semesters, so this semester she only had 12 credit hours, the minimum to be a full time student, but the extra work she received from the CIA as part of her preliminary training was intense.

She rose early each morning to get ready for the day and study a bit before Beth had to get up for school. After dropping Beth off, Elizabeth spent the day either at the library or in class and then she was off to get Beth from school. They sat at the kitchen table together doing homework and twice a week, Beth drug her to the barn to ride. On one hand, Elizabeth felt like she didn't have the hour to spare, but riding really helped both of them clear their minds.

Beth was particularly quiet one day as they rode over the frozen ground. It was the end of February and both were looking forward to the spring greenery. The bleak, dead look of winter only added to their dreary attitudes. "Is something bothering you?" Elizabeth asked. "You seem down today."

"Do you know where my mom is?" Beth asked.

"I don't." Elizabeth replied. Maureen had been released from prison the week after Henry left for Basic Training, so five weeks ago. Elizabeth had offered to pick Maureen up, but was flatly turned down because Maureen was still angry about Henry's refusal to let her live with them. According to the prison records, she requested a bus ticket to Pittsburgh and she left on a Thursday morning. None of her family had seen her since. Patrick thought she'd turn up eventually, but that had yet to happen in the time since her release. "Are you worried about her?" Elizabeth finally asked when Beth didn't say anything further.

"Not really. I just don't like not knowing where she is. She tried to come and take me from school when I was in kindergarten. I don't want her to come and try to take me away."

Elizabeth's breath caught in her throat. "That won't happen. I'm sure of it."

"I make sure never to play at the edge of the playground and I told Miss Stanley that she has to have the okay from you to let me go with anyone besides you and Henry and Amelia's mom and dad. No one else is supposed to get me."

Elizabeth was shocked that Beth not only acknowledged that Maureen could be a threat, but had an active plan to prevent any actions Maureen might take. "Beth, why didn't you tell me that you were worried about your mom coming and taking you?" Beth shrugged her shoulders. She studied the reins woven through her fingers.

"I don't want to think Mom would do something bad, but I think she could do something bad."

"I will go to school tomorrow and make sure they understand that no one but the people on the list can take you and I'll request that someone they don't know should have to show ID, so they know who it is. That way we'd know if your mom is around. I think she'll stay in Pittsburgh because that's where she's spent most of her life, but I'll make sure you stay safe, okay?" Beth nodded, but remained quiet for the rest of the ride.

Elizabeth was unsettled. She knew that Henry was skeptical of Maureen's intentions, but she had no idea that Beth was as well. It made sense, she supposed, but Beth was such a generally trusting and loving kid, that she thought Beth would show her mother more leniency than Henry. The next day, Elizabeth went to school and spoke with the secretaries and principal making sure that each knew who was allowed to pick Beth up.

Once that was settled, Beth seemed a little more at ease. She didn't end up in Elizabeth's bed every night, although three to four times a week was the norm. Elizabeth also finally trained Beth just to crawl in bed and not wake her. There was a small part of Elizabeth that thought this was a bad habit to get started, but the survivalist in her told her she had to do it to make it through.

Elizabeth was clinging to the idea of Spring Break the following week. Not having classes at UVA and Beth having school would be the opportune time to finish her CIA training coursework and get those materials sent back. Once that wasn't hanging over her head, she felt like she could make it to Henry's graduation. She just had to make it to the end of April.

Each day that Spring Break week, after dropping Beth off at school, Elizabeth picked up a coffee and headed to the library to catch about 7 hours worth of work. On Thursday, she finally finished the CIA materials. Slipping her final set of papers into a manilla envelope, she dropped it in the mailbox and realized she was caught up. For the first time in eight and a half weeks, Elizabeth was free to do whatever she wanted to do. After sitting in her car in the driveway for half an hour, revelling in the fact that she had nothing to do, she called the Martins to see if they would be interested in keeping Beth overnight. Of course they agreed. Elizabeth knew that they offered to help out in Henry's absence, but felt guilty for relying on them too much, so she'd only taken them up on their offer a couple times. Elizabeth went inside to pack Beth a bag. She met the girls and Amelia's mom, Heather at the ice cream parlor. They girls were over the moon and it gave Heather and Elizabeth a chance to talk.

"So, now that you've completed your preliminary coursework, what are you going to do with your free time?" Heather teased.

"What should I do? Or what am I going to do?" Elizabeth responded, laughing. "I need to clean the house. It's so bad. We've been doing just enough to keep it livable. But, I think realistically, I'm going to take a nap."

"Tom and I were talking the other day and we are really impressed by you. We don't know many other people, much less college students, that would've taken on what you have. We know that you'll do incredible things in your life, and Beth is blessed to have an incredibly smart and strong woman as a role model," Heather said. "You deserve a break. If it's okay with you, we'd like to take Beth with us to DC to visit the house this weekend. That would give you a couple uninterrupted days, kind of like an actual Spring Break."

"Thanks. That is a very generous offer and I think that would be awesome. I just have a uniform packed for Beth for school tomorrow, but I will bring you a weekend bag sometime tomorrow morning." Elizabeth said, and Heather gave her a thumbs up. Elizabeth reached over and tapped Beth's shoulder where the girls were giggling at the next table over. "Hey Beth, would you be interested in staying a couple nights with Amelia? Mrs. Martin said they are going to visit their other house this weekend and invited you to come along."

Beth's eyes grew huge. "Really Mrs. Martin? That would be so great." Beth turned to Amelia. "Did you hear that? I get to go visit your real house with you." Amelia grinned and the girls hugged each other.

"Well, I think that settles it," Heather said. "Girls, clean up your trash. We need to get home and do homework before dinner." With only mild groaning, the girls gathered up their things and walked out of the establishment arm in arm.

When they were next to the car, Beth hugged Elizabeth. "I love you so much Beth. I'll miss you, but have fun with Amelia and her family and you can tell me all about it Sunday when you get back, okay?"

A look of worry crossed Beth's face, "Are you going to be okay without me? It's been a long time since I've left you by yourself." Elizabeth bit back a grin.

"I think I'll be okay Beth. Thank you for worrying about me. If I get bored, I'll clean the house to pass time."

"In that case, I hope you get bored soon. The house will take forever to clean." Beth's seriousness only added to the humor that Elizabeth found in her statement.

"I'll do what I can," she said, leaving the girls to get in the Martin's car. She smiled to herself as she pulled from the curb planning to pick up Chinese takeout before heading home to spend the weekend alone.

Elizabeth let out a little huff as she dropped her book on the couch next to her. It was late Saturday afternoon and she'd cleaned the house and the barn, taken Buttercup out for a ride, and ran into town to hit the public library for a book, an actual book for pleasure reading. She couldn't remember the last time she was able to do that. But, now, sitting in the stillness, she felt a hollowness, a loneliness she hadn't felt in years. She curled up on the couch and let silent tears fall. She lay there a long time. It was actually a little freeing to let go of a lot of the stress she'd been holding on to. Wiping her eyes, she picked up the book and went back to reading.

Looking up from her book, she realized that several hours bad passed. Elizabeth was starting to get drowsy, but refused to put the book up knowing that she'd get tied up in something tomorrow and then once Beth came home it would be back to her normal, busy life and the book would remain unfinished.

Slipping into bed, she propped herself up against the headboard to finish the last fifty pages or so. In the end, the girl and guy had fallen in love and all was right with the world. Elizabeth smiled as she drifted off to sleep. Her life wasn't a fairy tale but she very much had a love to be envied.

Elizabeth's eyes shot open and the blush crept up her face. She'd been dreaming of Henry. Admittedly she hadn't remembered any dreams of them being intimate and she attributed it to being so exhausted when she finally went to sleep that she hadn't remembered any of her dreams in weeks.

Now, in her newfound relaxed state, there he was kissing her, holding her, pushing into her. She let out a shaky breath. The ache in her center was noticeable. Her lips turned up in a slight smile. It had been a long time since she felt this level of unanswered tension. Henry was very intuitive, always knowing when she needed him, sometimes even before she realized it.

Her fingers slipped beneath the elastic of her cotton panties and her legs parted, welcoming the touch. Sliding two fingers through her folds, she felt the dampness accumulating. Elizabeth exhaled and pressed her fingers to her opening, letting her arousal coat them. She spread it around before settling on her clit.

Memories of their most intimate moments filled her thoughts as she traced lazy circles on her clit, letting the pressure build slowly. In her mind, his body was pressed against hers, it was his hand between her legs, not her own, that would bring her to completion. She tilted her pelvis and picked up her pace. His kisses, his mouth on her breast. Her hand snaked up her shirt and cupped her breast, her fingers teasing her nipple into a hard peak.

Her strokes came quicker but were not as fluid as she neared the edge. She plunged two fingers in, curling them against the spot just inside, but it wasn't quite enough. She grunted in frustration and slid her free hand down to stimulate her clit as well, chasing the orgasm that she wanted so badly. Finally, her legs trembled and her muscles clamped down on her fingers, pulsing rhythmically while the pleasure ran its course. She drifted off to sleep wishing the next five weeks would pass quickly so Henry could be in her arms once more.

It was Easter break, only a week before Henry's Basic Training graduation and two weeks before her own college graduation. Elizabeth was so done with everything school. There was absolutely no more mental energy left to expend these last couple weeks. It was on a whim that she walked into Dean Knight's office and asked for permission to take her finals early and be done.

After looking at her perfect grades, and listening as she explained that she had simultaneously been working on material for her employment once she graduated, the dean finally agreed. Two of her professors agreed to give her oral examinations, both of which which she aced handily without studying and the other two professors agreed to lengthy papers on a topic of her choosing, which she crafted over the weekend. Completing everything and handing it in on Monday morning, Elizabeth went back to the house and started making preparations for Henry's homecoming, with a lighter heart than she'd had in months.


	19. Chapter 19

AN: There are some pretty anxious people out there! Sorry for keeping everyone waiting. I certainly hope this chapter is worth the wait. There is an M rated section in the middle. It sort of eases into it, so if you aren't into that, stop reading wherever you see fit and pick it back up a couple paragraphs before the end, as I marked the end of the section. I love reviews and thank those readers who leave them, especially those who take the time consistently. I know that it's easy to forget (guilty), so I do appreciate those who take the time. The next chapter should come a little quicker as I really wanted to include a few things in this chapter, but it messed up the flow, so the beginning of the next chapter is already written. Only a few more days until the Season 5 premiere! Thank God!

Chapter 19

"Elizabeth, it's time to go! Come on!" Beth yelled from the bottom of the stairs.

"Hold on child," Elizabeth muttered under her breath as she pulled Henry's box of letters from under her bed and pulled the boot camp graduation letter from the box. "I'm coming," she called flipping off the light and heading downstairs.

It was just shy of a nine hour drive. It was three in the afternoon when they pulled up to the base and Elizabeth presented her driver's license and invitation letter to the graduation to the guard working the security station. She was flagged through and they made their way to the main building where the families were being welcomed. Both Elizabeth and Beth were exhausted from the trip, but the level of adrenaline they maintained at the thought of seeing Henry had them wired.

She parked and they made their way across the parking lot, the heat radiating from the asphalt. "It's just April," Elizabeth muttered as the beads of perspiration formed along her hairline. Holding Beth's hand, they entered the large building and followed the signs to the area where family members were being received. As soon as they hit the doorway, Beth had Henry in her sights. He was standing at the far wall with a fairly large group of men, others waiting for their families, she presumed. Beth weaved among the crowd, dodging other children and others who were in her way.

Elizabeth let out a sigh and willed all of her tears to stay unshed as she made her way across the room. She heard Beth call out "Henry," as she tackled him from the side. He didn't miss a beat and scooped her up into his arms, her now 11 year old legs wrapped around his waist. She finally closed the gap and stood a few feet away, waiting patiently for Beth to have her moment with Henry. She caught his gaze and as he smiled widely at her, she silently willed those tears to stay put. He peeled Beth off of him and set her on the floor, and reached out for Elizabeth.

She stepped into his embrace and as his arms wrapped around her, she felt the stress she'd been carrying around since January fall away. "I missed you so much," she murmured.

"I can't talk about that right now," he whispered. One hand slid around and up to cup her face. She leaned into his touch and hummed.

"This is about to get gross," Beth said, looking up at them. Henry and Elizabeth smiled as they touched foreheads and both moved their hands to cover Beth's face. Elizabeth's hand landed on her eyes and Henry's covered her mouth. Elizabeth's other arm was wrapped around Henry's back holding him close. Henry tilted his head slightly, and let their lips meet. It was a soft kiss, her lips warm against his. Her scent filled his nostrils and Henry felt a sense of peace he hadn't felt since standing in the airport months before. He slid his fingers into her hair and held her in place. Neither wanted the moment to end. Beth was done with this display of affection though and pulled their hands away, enabling her to speak. "You look handsome in your uniform Henry," she said, beaming up at him.

"Yes, you do," Elizabeth whispered in his ear, causing Henry to blush.

"Thanks Bethie. Come on. Let's get something to eat and we can sit down and you can tell me everything I missed." Quickly making their way through the refreshments table, they found a few empty chairs away from the crowd and sat down. "Tell me all about Amelia and what you've been doing at school.'

Beth beamed as she told Henry about her grades and the latest terrible Miss Stanley story and then about going to Washington DC with Amelia and her parents. She followed that with stories of riding Prancer and the amount of take out she and Elizabeth had been eating. Elizabeth blushed. Evidently take out happened more often than she realized, at least from Beth's point of view.

"Now you babe. How's school? And the CIA? And the farm?"

"I'm done with school, I turned the last papers in on Monday. CIA stuff was finished during Spring Break and the farm is fine. Tony is coming every day now to take care of the horses because I just wasn't able to get them out enough."

"We still ride two days a week though. I make her do that." Beth threw in.

"You're done with school? I thought finals were next week." Henry asked, confusion in his tone. Elizabeth explained what had happened and how her professors, with the permission of the dean, allowed her to take alternate finals so she could be done.

"I just couldn't do it anymore, so I took two oral finals without studying and cranked out two research papers last weekend to finish the other two classes. And then I spent this week cleaning up the house, because cleaning chores had sort of fallen to the wayside." Elizabeth blushed, a little embarrassed at the state the house, especially since she had deep cleaned those days over Spring Break.

"You are amazing. You know that? I don't think there is anyone who could've handled all that you did and still be successful." He turned to Beth. "I'm proud of you too. Working so hard in school and being helpful at home. When did you grow up on me, Bethie? Speaking of that, did you grow three inches while I was away?"

"I seriously think it's at least 2 inches. She has to wear her jumpers to school now because her pants are too short. Definitely growing up." Elizabeth tapped Beth on the leg. "Tell Henry about Grandpa and Erin and Shane."

Beth stepped into a long dissertation about everything going on in Pittsburgh. Henry listened intently, but reached over and placed his hand on her thigh, curling his fingers around hers.

They stayed several hours before the visiting period was up. Henry had to go back to the barracks and Elizabeth and Beth were headed to a motel for the night. "I'll see you ladies in the morning," he said.

"Graduation is at 10, so hopefully before it gets too hot."

"We'll be here, ready to go." Elizabeth assured him and then he kissed both of them before they parted ways.

The girls rose early in the morning, got ready and grabbed breakfast before going back to the base. They got there early, but Henry was already waiting for them. He was leaning against the building as they pulled into the parking lot. Elizabeth smiled and relaxed a little when she saw him. Two thoughts whirled around her head at the same time. How long would it take to fully release the tension she'd built up while he was gone and how bad would it be if he was stationed away for a year or more? Elizabeth swallowed hard and pushed that second thought away. She couldn't be thinking about that right now. This was a happy time.

Henry leaned against the building near the entrance waiting for Elizabeth and Bethie to arrive. He hadn't slept much. Henry thought that seeing Elizabeth would help, and it did while she was there. However, when she and Bethie left to go back to the motel, Henry was left feeling even more empty inside.

Henry had known how the military worked, having an uncle in the Army and when he made this his path to pay for school, he knew how it would go. He was fine with it. Then. He hadn't counted on his mother dying. He knew it was a possibility, but when he was 18, he didn't really think it would happen. Back then, he hoped to keep Bethie for a couple years and then return her to his parents and go off like planned. But, his mother never recovered, and he fell in love. He didn't figure he'd have much in the way of more than casual dating before he left the military, but Elizabeth changed that in a big way.

Now, he watched his girls cross the parking lot and there was an equal amount of excitement and dread. Excitement because they were finally together and dread because he knew that all too soon he would have to leave them again. He swallowed the lump in his throat and started walking toward them. They met midway and hugged. Henry slipped one arm around Elizabeth's waist and the other over Beth's shoulders, pulling them both to him. "It's going to be a long time before I forget the feeling of missing you," he whispered in Elizabeth's ear. They hung out together just talking until Henry had to go with his class and Elizabeth and Beth made their way to their seats.

Soon, the graduating class filed out in step and after a few drills, speeches from the drill sergeant and base commander, the men were recognized and released as a group. Henry introduced Elizabeth and Beth to a few of the guys that he was closest to and then leaned into Elizabeth and whispered, "Let's get out of here." She nodded and within the hour, they were on the road headed back to Virginia.

It was late when they arrived and Henry carried Beth up to bed. He came back downstairs a few minutes later and found Elizabeth leaning against the kitchen counter. He'd already peeled off his fatigues and was now wearing shorts and a t-shirt. Henry watched her for a moment as her brow furrowed and then relaxed a bit. She stared across the room, but he knew she was lost in her own head. As he approached, she sensed his presence and snapped back to the present. "A penny for your thoughts," he whispered, stepping in close.

The ache in her chest was heavy as she leaned there against the counter in their home, knowing that it wouldn't be their home for much longer. She and Beth would be moving to DC and Henry would be stationed God knows where, but chances were that it wouldn't be anywhere near DC. It was only when Henry was near that she allowed herself to breathe. She wasn't sure when that happened, and she didn't even realize that's how it was when he was gone, but now that he was back, it hit her head on. The thought that in just a few short weeks he would leave was crushing her all over again. Suddenly, she felt Henry more than she saw him and whipped her head around to face him. "A penny for your thoughts."

She looked to the floor and shook her head, "Later," she murmured. Elizabeth felt herself being turned and his lips were at her hairline. Tipping her head up, she met his lips with her own and ran her hands under his shirt up his back, pulling him close. He mimicked the action, pulling her shirt from her skirt and slipping his hands underneath, feeling for the clasp on her bra. "It's in the front," she hummed, letting him go.

Henry took half a step back, quickly tugged his shirt from his body and shot her a devilish grin. He grasped the hem of her shirt on each side where it overlapped and tugged hard, sending buttons shooting across the kitchen. Elizabeth's eyes widened, but before she could lodge a protest, his mouth was on hers, her bra was unhooked, and he was kneading her left breast. She let out a carnal moan, and promptly covered his hand with hers. "We can't be doing this here," she said, her breaths shallow.

"We're good. I promise. And this first round won't take long." Bending over slightly, he caught the edge of her skirt and tugged it up over her hips, and in the same movement, slipped his fingers in the edge of her panties and pulled them down. Henry pulled her back flush to his body and she moaned at the feeling of his hardness so close to where she needed him. "Dammit," he muttered under his breath and took a step back.

Knowing exactly what he was thinking, held onto his shoulder. "Wait," she said and leaned to one side struggling to get her hand into the pocket of her skirt, which was now bunched around her waist. "Here,' she grinned, pressing the condom into his palm.

He shot her a look. "You just carry one of these around wherever you go?" he smirked.

"I wasn't sure when the opportunity would present itself and I didn't want to be unprepared." Elizabeth shrugged, causing Henry to laugh. She watched as he adeptly rolled the condom over his penis and settled his hands on her waist.

"Where were we?" His lips found hers once again, sucking on her bottom lip before running his tongue across it. She surprised him, plunging her tongue into his mouth and taking control of the kiss. Her hand was at the nape of his neck holding him in place as her tongue got reacquainted with his. He groaned as the pressure built and he felt himself losing control. His hands tightened on her waist and hoisted her up on the counter and he wasted no time, freeing his erection and pushing into her heat in one fluid motion.

Elizabeth arched back away from his mouth and cried out both from the penetration and the loss of contact of his lips. He smiled at her. She was so beautiful. When he didn't move, she opened her eyes. "I missed you," she whispered, her eyes filling with the tears she'd been holding back for weeks.

He studied her for the briefest moment and said, "But I'm here right now." His hands slid up her sides pulling her closer and started a fast, demanding rhythm that caused her to grip the edge of the counter and her legs to wrap around his waist.

"Oh God, Henry, she cried. "So close." She moved her hand to touch herself, but Henry stopped her.

"Let me," he said, his voice ragged. He dropped his hand down and pressed his thumb to her clit before rubbing small circles. She immediately responded, shaking violently against his hand as he continued to slam into her. It was when she pulled his head to her breast and he latched onto her nipple sucking hard that her body finally succumbed to the pleasure. Her muscles clenched around Henry, sending him over the edge as well. He gave then both a minute to calm down before he pulled out, removing the spent condom and depositing it into the trash can. Henry bent down and grabbed his t-shirt and her panties and then he lifted her off the counter and onto the floor. "Let's go to bed, babe." Slipping his hand into hers, he let her lead him to his bed.

 **END OF M RATED SECTION**

Moments later, Henry was wrapped around her, holding her close. With her back pressed against his chest, she clung to the arm that was draped over her. "Babe?" She kissed his fingers which were knotted in her own, and he felt the tears fall on them. "What?" he asked. He scooted back and pulled her over to face him. Her eyes glistened as a few stray tears escaped their borders.

"I'm having trouble being in the now because the next step is looming. I want to quit it all and go wherever you go. I can't be away from you again." She lay her head on his chest and listened to the beat of his heart.

He held her for a long time before he spoke. "I feel it too. I would love nothing more than to pack you and Beth up and take you with me, but is that really going to be worth it long term? You would give up everything, and this is such a short time in our lives. I can't ask you to do that and honestly, I don't want you to do it."

"What if we don't last? What if we become different people while we're apart and don't love each other anymore?" The desperate look in her eyes made him cringe, but he had the same thoughts in the past couple days. He knew her concerns were justified.

"Truthfully, I've wondered the same things. I came to the conclusion that I will just have to fall in love with the new you, whoever that may be, because I'm not giving up on us." He pulled her close and kissed her softly. "Tell me that you'll do the same."

"I will always fight for us," she said.


	20. Chapter 20

AN: Trigger warning-molestation, drug use/addiction. I don't usually tell someone how to read my writing, but I will throw out the reminder that this story takes place roughly 30 years ago and they are discussing things that occurred ten years before that. Some of the responses may not be what one might expect (or maybe not, who knows?). Enjoy!

Chapter 20

It had been a whirlwind of a month and Elizabeth was hiding out on the front porch at the McCord home in Pittsburgh, hoping to have just a few minutes of quiet. She sat down on the step and watched the sun as it dipped low in the sky. Oranges, reds, and pinks streaked the horizon. It was beautiful, but Elizabeth was too focused on her own thoughts to really enjoy it.

She'd graduated three days ago. Henry had three more weeks of leave and she started at the CIA next week. There was so much change, so much upheaval. Elizabeth swallowed hard and closed her eyes. Elizabeth had arranged to live in on base housing with Beth through her first six months of training. It was decided that Beth would go to the base school for sixth grade and then they would look at a local Catholic school once Elizabeth was able to move off base, or depending on assignment, perhaps she could move to where Henry was stationed. However, because Elizabeth wasn't married, Henry wasn't allowed to stay on base with her full-time. That complicated the situation and they finally decided that it made more sense for him and Beth to stay on Pittsburgh until Henry had to report in San Diego.

San Diego, and Pittsburgh, and anywhere but with her. Elizabeth buried her head in her hands. It was the right decision, but it hurt her so much to know that they were making a conscious decision to stay apart knowing that he was going to belong to the military for the next four years. She started to stand and drag herself inside when someone appeared at her elbow. "Don't say a word. You are coming with me now."

Elizabeth was shocked, but not enough to willingly go with someone. She stopped in her tracks and let the person run into her. Elizabeth caught a glimpse of her. "Maureen! What the hell?" Elizabeth turned into her and got a good look at her, and sucked in a deep breath. "Where have you been?" she asked.

"Come on. You're coming with me." Maureen gave Elizabeth a shove down the sidewalk.

"Let go of me. You cannot just walk me off somewhere. Everyone knows I'm not just going to disappear. Let me go in and tell your dad I'm going to the store or something." She studied Maureen, who looked haggard. "I'm guessing that you don't want anyone to know you're here."

Elizabeth shifted her eyes to her bicep that Maureen had hold of. Maureen let go. "Thank you. We'll take my car if that's okay." Maureen nodded. "I'll be back in a minute."

Elizabeth went up the steps and entered the house wondering what exactly she was getting into. No one was in the living room, so she went into the kitchen where Patrick was supervising as Beth was mixing something in the big mixing bowl. "Do we have ice cream to go with that?"

Patrick shook his head and shrugged. "Beth decided on a whim to make a cake."

"I'll go get some. Be back in a while." She disappeared out of the room before either could comment. She grabbed her purse and keys and headed out the door. Elizabeth didn't see Maureen right off and wondered of she left, but then she appeared as Elizabeth unlocked the car. "Get in," she said. Maureen climbed into the passenger seat.

Elizabeth put the car in drive and they headed down the street. "Where are we going?"

"I don't care. I just need to talk," Maureen murmured as she stared out the window. Elizabeth took the opportunity to really take a good look at her passenger. Her hair had grown out, kind of. She had it pulled back, but it was thin, greasy and uncombed. Her skin had a gray tint and hung on her bones. Her eyes were deep set and the dark circles reached down low on her cheekbones.

"When was the last time you ate?" Elizabeth asked. Maureen lazily shrugged one shoulder and pressed her head to the window. Elizabeth steered the car down a busy section of town and pulled into a fast food place. "Any requests?" Maureen didn't reply so she ordered a burger, a chicken sandwich and some fries and two coffees. Elizabeth had no desire to eat, but she thought that if Maureen started eating she might find that she was really hungry. Putting the coffee in the cup holders, she tossed the bag into Maureen's lap.

Elizabeth exited the eatery and made her way toward the mall, parking in plain sight. She'd been carefully watching and didn't think there was anyone following them, but she wouldn't put it past Maureen to try something. Elizabeth had surveyed her opponent and thought that if Maureen tried to overtake her, she had pretty good odds, especially given Maureen's current state.

"You've been missed," Elizabeth said. "We were all worried about you."

Maureen huffed. "Doubtful."

"Your dad drove the streets every day for the first month, hoping to see you, to make sure you were still alive." Maureen turned to look at her.

"He didn't."

Elizabeth nodded. "He did. It was Erin who finally made him stop because of what it was doing to him. He's not as strong as he once was. Losing your mom took a lot out of him." Maureen flinched and closed her eyes tight.

"How's Beth?" Maureen suddenly turned and looked at her earnestly.

"She's good. Just finished fifth grade. One of the top students in her class. Her teacher was hard to get along with, but Beth did well in spite of that. She has a really good friend named Amelia. They like to ride together. Beth's a good kid." Elizabeth eyed Maureen trying to figure out what she ultimately wanted.

Maureen sat for a long time and finally opened the bag on her lap and pulled out the sack of French fries. "I hated you," she finally said.

"I know. You didn't really keep that a secret," Elizabeth replied. "Hated? Does that mean you don't hate me now?" Elizabeth raised her eyebrows at Maureen.

"I hate that you are who I never was and will never be," Maureen said, plucking a loose fry from the bag.

"Why did you come back here? You could've started over anywhere? You were clean. You're smart. You could've made a go of it." Elizabeth studied her.

Maureen looked at her for a moment and then surprised Elizabeth with a maniacal laugh. "I'm where I deserve to be. This is my destiny and has been since I was 10. I just didn't know it then." She stopped and looked at Elizabeth. "We all get a hand to play. Some of us just get better cards than others. I just hope Beth gets dealt a decent hand." Maureen dug the sandwich out of the bag and ate it. Elizabeth gave her space. Maureen was going to to tell her story, but Elizabeth knew better than to push. She just waited.

"My best friend was Judy Magruder. She lived just four houses down from us. Mom and Dad liked her parents. They got invited over for Pinochle and Bridge and barbecues in the summer. Judy was the same age, but she went to the public school and I went to St. Margaret's. We used to have sleepovers every other weekend or so. We had a good time. I was about 10 when it first happened. There were about six of us and we were all being silly, giggly girls and Judy's dad made us all some punch. We all had some and it was really good, but it made us feel weird and light headed." Elizabeth swallowed hard. She was afraid of where this was going.

Maureen looked out the window and continued on. "When I woke up the next morning, I was sore between my legs and there was blood stains in my panties. I was a little big for my age and mom just thought I'd started my period. I didn't tell her about the drink. I didn't keep it from her on purpose. I just didn't see it as something that was bad. We all did it. We all had fun. Judy's dad had given it to us. Surely it was alright." Maureen turned to Elizabeth suddenly. "I was 10. I didn't know what had happened. And it didn't happen every time I went there, so I always explained it away as just something weird. I was almost 13 before I figured out enough about the world to know what was happening."

Elizabeth slipped her hand around Maureen's. "But by the time you knew, you were hooked?" Maureen turned and looked back out of the window. "Did you ever tell anyone?"

A sharp laugh erupted from Maureen, taking Elizabeth by surprise. "Because anyone would believe the 14 year old whore who would give a blow job to snort a line of coke? Are you out of your fucking mind?"

Elizabeth thought back to when she was fourteen. Her biggest concern was passing the advanced math exam so she could take the higher level math classes. She wasn't thinking about boys or sex or drugs. She knew boys existed, but mostly because she had a couple friends who were suddenly smitten with them. Most of her friends just weren't ready for that yet. She'd had lots of sleepovers, her first being when she was six and stayed with her kindergarten pal, Sadie. Right up to the weekend before her parents died, Elizabeth had stayed at almost all of her friends" houses and they at hers. She couldn't imagine something like that happening. Of course Maureen wouldn't have been prepared for that.

Elizabeth was pulled back to the conversation when Maureen spoke again. "I really didn't know I was pregnant. Maybe if I'd known, Mom and Dad could have stuck me in rehab or something to keep me away from the drugs." Maureen slipped back into her thoughts for a moment, but then turned back to Elizabeth. "You need to make sure that Beth understands all of that stuff. Mom never told me and maybe I should've picked up on it, but I didn't. I didn't know from the beginning that what I felt was wrong. Just dealt the wrong hand. But Beth, does she have sleepovers?

Elizabeth nodded. "Only with one friend. I'll talk to her and make sure she knows, okay? I won't let it happen to her."

"Good," Maureen visibly relaxed back in the seat for the first time since getting into the car. She looked tired.

Elizabeth said, "If I leave you for a few minutes, will you be okay?"

Maureen nodded, more relaxed in that moment than she'd been since approaching Elizabeth. Elizabeth slipped out of the car and walked into the mall. She headed into a couple stores and purchased a new set of clothes for Maureen, hoping that she'd guessed the size right. She was back in the car in under half an hour and she drove Maureen to a motel. After paying for the room, she opened the passenger door and nudged her passenger. "Hey. Maureen, wake up." Maureen shifted and slowly opened her eyes. "Come on," Elizabeth said.

She unlocked the door and half pushed Maureen inside. "Here are some new clothes. Take a shower. Get a decent night's rest and I'll come check on you in the morning. If you want, you can come back to the house to visit. Elizabeth watched Maureen's face harden before her eyes and she knew the tongue lashing was coming.

"So, little miss rich girl thinks she can boss me. I don't think so.*

"Take it or don't. If you come around to see Beth, you need to be cleaned up, and I know your dad misses you. Goodnight." Elizabeth pulled the door shut, got in her car and drove back to the house.

As she pulled up to the curb, Henry was out the door and down the sidewalk. "Where have you been?" he asked. There was an equal mix of confusion, accusation, and worry in his voice. "We were worried sick."

"I'm sorry. I didn't really have the opportunity to tell you what was going on. I've been with your sister."

"Erin was at work and she got home an hour ago," Henry said.

"The other sister." Recognition washed over Henry and he leaned against the car.

"She was here?" he asked. Elizabeth nodded.

"She wanted to talk to me. Maureen had a story to tell and she wanted to make sure that we protect Beth, so Beth doesn't end up on the same path as she did."

"Why didn't she just knock on the door like a normal person?" Henry asked, clearly agitated.

"Because I'm pretty sure she didn't want anyone to see her the way she was. I fed her, got her some clean clothes and a motel room so she can shower and sleep. I told her that I'd pick her up in the morning." Henry crossed his arms over his chest. "You got played Elizabeth," Henry admonished.

"And I'm out what? A burger and a few bucks for a new outfit and a room? It's on her if she doesn't use it." Elizabeth stepped around Henry and started up the sidewalk. "I'm going to bed. I told her that I'd be back to check on her in the morning."

"Are you pissed at me?" Henry asked accusingly.

"Not specifically, but I am disappointed. Do you know how she became addicted to drugs?" Henry shook his head. "She didn't ask for anything from me. She only wanted me to know so we can keep Beth safe. I freely offered everything I gave her and she bitched about taking it, in true Maureen style."

"You have no idea the shit that went down with Maureen," Henry said, his voice raised.

"No, I don't, but I do know that I would rather err on the side of compassion. We failed her by not trying to do more when she got out of prison."

Henry's eyes flashed dark. "You're saying I failed her."

"I'm saying that maybe things would look a little different if we'd tried as hard for her as we did ourselves. You were absolutely right She shouldn't have lived with us, but we could've helped her find a place, get a job, do something other than just tell her no. I take some responsibility for her current state. We effectively sent her back here to the same situation, and now act like she was somehow supposed to do better." Elizabeth ran her fingers through her hair. "Look. I don't think we're going to agree on this. I did what I did. I'm going to go back tomorrow and if she's in decent shape, I plan to bring her back to see your dad and Beth. You can either be here or not."

"Since when do you get to make decisions about Beth without me?" Henry shot back angrily.

"Since you can't get past your own issues with your sister to see that this likely the last time they will ever see each other," Elizabeth snapped back. She took a deep breath and softened her tone. "She's reaching out because I think she knows that she's near the end of her rope. Maureen wants to make amends. Let her. You can give her that much. You can give that to Beth."

Henry sat down on the bottom step. He slumped over, resting his elbows on his knees and rubbed his temples. "I'm going with you tomorrow. If she's not strung out, she can come."

Elizabeth sat down next to him. "Did she have a friend that lived down the street when she was a kid?"

"Yeah, why?" Henry asked.

"That's where it started. The dad was feeding the girls drugs in order to molest them during sleepovers." Elizabeth stared off into space as she spoke.

Henry shot Elizabeth a confused look. "Mr. Magruder? Nah. He and Dad were good friends. No. His kid was the same age as Maureen. Janie. I think."

"Judy," Elizabeth corrected.

"Yeah, that's it. It's impossible. How did no one know? Mom?"

"She said didn't really understand what was happening until she was too far in and was addicted. She quickly figured out what she had to do to get her fix. By that point she felt like no one would believe her."

"That's a pretty crazy story, babe," Henry said.

"That doesn't mean it isn't true," she said. "What about Maureen's other friends? What happened to them? Do the Magruder's still live down the street?"

"That was the weirdest thing. They just up and moved. One day he was mowing the yard and the next, the house was vacant." Henry was silent for a moment. "It was right after we found out the Maureen was pregnant. Is he-?" Henry left his question unfinished.

"I don't know," Elizabeth answered. "Maureen didn't say and I didn't ask, although I did wonder, but I sort of gathered that by that time there were probably other people involved too."

Henry dropped his head again. "I don't know about any of her friends. I never paid much attention." Catching Elizabeth's gaze, he asked, "How does someone not tell that?"

"It's just as easy to ask how someone does tell that." Henry gave her an incredulous stare. "Think about Beth. If she went and stayed at the Martin's and something happened, would she know to come and tell us, especially if she didn't really know what happened? That they gave her something to eat that made her feel funny. That she woke up sore or her clothes were messed up. She probably would think it was odd but maybe not enough to mention it and if she did, would we take it seriously? Maureen said your mom just thought she was starting her period. So she knew but didn't know! I'm sure that just made it easier for Maureen to dismiss."

"And you don't want to think ill of people you know and like. I'm sure that Mom and Dad wouldn't have thought Mr. Magruder would be capable of that. I guess there's always a part of a person that the outside world doesn't see." Henry took Elizabeth's hand and held it for a long time before finally speaking. "I'm sorry that I yelled at you. Thank you for being the better person in this scenario."

Elizabeth leaned on his shoulder. "Are you still mad at me?"

"I wasn't mad." She cocked her head at Henry. "Okay, I was mad, but not really at you. Just at the situation. I hate that Maureen makes me that mad. Maybe knowing more about her will make it easier to forgive or let go or whatever it is that I need to do."

"Was everyone upset that I left? Maureen wanted me to just leave and I knew that wouldn't go over well, so I just made up something. I didn't expect to be gone but for a few minutes, not two hours. I'm sorry you were worried and I'm sorry that I made decisions without talking to you first, especially about Beth. If you really think that Beth doesn't need to see her, I will come and get your dad and take him to see Maureen and Beth won't have to know." Henry wrapped his arm around her waist and scooted closer. "I am making my opinion known though, I think Maureen should get to see Beth." She looked up and gave him her best puppy dog eyes. "But I'll respect your decision either way."

"You couldn't just leave it, could you?" Henry rolled his eyes at her playfully.

"Not a chance mister. Let's go in. Tonight has been exhausting and I'd like to go to bed." Henry stood and extended his hand. He pulled her up and they walked into the house together.

It was a long night and neither slept well. Elizabeth was thinking about how she would tackle the subject with Beth. It had been awkward enough to have the conversation about "growing up," before the fifth grade girls watched the puberty movie in class. She wasn't sure what a discussion about molestation would look like. These were moments when it would be nice to have her mom or Ann around for counsel.

Ann, tears welled up in her eyes thinking about Ann. She'd been so close to knowing and maybe stopping it when it was just a one time bad thing that happened. Maureen could've worked through it and it not have dictated her entire life. If Ann were alive, she'd be heartbroken. Then, there were the other girls. Elizabeth was sure that it happened to them too. How many lives had this man ruined? Her stomach twisted and she rolled over into Henry's side hoping for comfort.

Henry held Elizabeth, but his mind reeled as well. He'd placed so much blame on Maureen for so many years. Was it possible that the entire thing started because of something terrible that happened that was completely out of Maureen's control? All of these years-all of the anger he had toward her-was it all misplaced? Waves of guilt washed over him and he hugged Elizabeth a little tighter.

It was before 8 when Henry and Elizabeth pulled into the motel parking lot. Elizabeth gestured to an empty spot and Henry parked. They approached the door and Elizabeth knocked. When there was no answer after the second knock, Elizabeth turned the doorknob and it wasn't locked. She looked over her shoulder at Henry with a mix of confusion and concern. "Let me," he said. She stepped to the side and let him open the door. The room was empty. Henry stepped to the bathroom. "She's not here," he said.

"The bed hasn't been slept in," Elizabeth said.

"But she showered and changed. The shower is wet and there are clothes in the trash can." Henry made a face as he picked up the ratty shirt before dropping it back on top of the can.

"She left letters," Elizabeth said, pointing to a stack of folded papers on the table.


	21. Chapter 21

AN: Trigger warning: drug overdose.

Sorry it has taken so long to get this next chapter finished. Hopefully its worth the wait. Enjoy!

Chapter 21

"She left letters," Elizabeth said, pointing to a stack of folded papers on the table.

Henry crossed the room and picked them up and flipped a couple open. They look like goodbye letters," he said. "We need to go find her. Now."

"How are we going to do that? Your dad looked for her for a month and never found her."

"I bet I know of other places to look that he didn't. The ones where she goes when she doesn't want to be found." Elizabeth stared at him. "I spent a lot of time watching her when I was in high school. Especially once Beth was born. It took a long time to find her, but then I got decent at tracking her. I know a few people who used to keep an eye on her. Maybe they're still around." He slipped his hand around Elizabeth's and led her out the door.

Once in the car, they drove to a run down part of town. Henry parked in front of an abandoned house. He opened the door and then stopped. "What?" she asked.

"I'm trying to decide if you're safer here or with me."

"With you. Quite frankly, I don't like the idea of sitting here alone when I don't know the situation." Henry nodded and exited, meeting her on the other side of the car. "Let's go." The couple walked around to the back of the house and pushed open the back door. They made their way through the path on the floor, food boxes and other trash littering the area. The place smelled of dirt, body odor and sewage. Elizabeth swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and hung onto Henry's hand as he pulled her up the stairs.

He knocked on the door at the top of the stairs. "Les? You there?"

There was some rustling and a few seconds later the door opened. "Angel? For goodness sake. I haven't seen you in forever. I thought you left."

"I went off to college and I'm just home for a while before I leave for the Marines. How have you been doing Les?"

"I'm still kickin' if that's what you mean. You know my husband was a Marine when he was young."

"I know Les. We talked about that. I remembered how you said he was tough and would always pull through. It kept me going a time or two in boot camp."

"You's a good one. You and your sister both. You need to drag her ass outta here." Henry opened his mouth to protest, but Les put her hand up to stop him. "I know. You've tried. She just keeps gettin' pulled back in by the monster. I thank God every day that I never got mixed up in that. I might not have a proper house, but at least I got my wits about me. I'm not givin' in to that. Ain't no situation so bad that I'm gonna do that."

"Unless it happened without your consent,". Elizabeth murmured.

For the first time Les turned her attention to Elizabeth. "Who might you be?"

"I'm Elizabeth." She extended a hand to Les, surprising the older woman. "I'm lucky enough to be with him." She jerked her head toward Henry. "We're looking for Maureen. Have you seen her today?"

"Star," Henry corrected. "She goes by Star here." Elizabeth nodded.

"She hasn't been around for a couple days. Check with Bernie. He's out and about more than I am. I kinda keep local nowadays," Les said. "I don't have the get up and go like I used to." Henry nodded.

He pulled his wallet out of his back pocket and retrieved a card that had a quarter taped to it, then pulled out a $20 and folded it up with the card. "If you see her and you get out, would you call and let us know she's still around? And do something nice for yourself. You keeping an eye on my sister has been much appreciated." Henry reached out and patted the woman's shoulder. "Thank you."

"Good luck to you," Les said as she pushed the door closed.

Henry and Elizabeth made their way back down the stairs and out the back door. When they got to the street, Henry unlocked Elizabeth's door and let her in. "Glad the car's still here." Elizabeth's eyes went wide. When Henry rounded the front end of the car and got in, he finished his thought. "It's a nice car. It could've been stolen."

"Swell," she whispered, closing her eyes. Henry pulled away from the curb and headed down the street before turning. "What's with the name Angel?" she asked.

Henry smirked, "Les gave me that name because she kept finding me in the shadows watching Maureen, or Star. She said I was her guardian angel. It appears that's not really the case at all." Elizabeth reached over and squeezed his leg.

Several turns later, he stopped in front of a warehouse. Henry got out and met Elizabeth at the front of the car. "Is this safe?" she asked.

"Depends on your definition of safe," Henry muttered. "To most people, no, but this is one of the better places Maureen has been known to frequent." He slipped his hand into hers and walked along the perimeter of the building, pulling on doors as they passed to see if one was unlocked. Rounding the end of the building, they saw a man open a door. "Bernie!" Henry yelled and took off running, pulling Elizabeth after him. The man glanced up, and rushed through the door, letting it slam shut behind him.

Henry made it to the door only a couple seconds after it slammed shut. He pulled on it and it was locked. "Bernie," he called, pounding on the door. "It's Angel. Let me in."

"She doesn't want to see you," came the voice from inside.

"But I want to see her. I need to talk to her Bernie. Let me in." Henry's voice cracked. "Please," he begged. Elizabeth put her arms around his waist and pulled him back from the door.

"Can we force our way in?" she asked, "or check the other doors?"

"Dammit Bernie. Let me in." Henry pushed against Elizabeth and pounded on the door again. The door opened a crack and Elizabeth and Henry quickly moved out of the way of the door and stepped inside.

Whatever stench Elizabeth thought the house had was tripled in this space. It was all of the foulness of the house with a stagnant water smell on top of it. It didn't matter that it was already 80, Elizabeth wished for long sleeves so she could cover her mouth and nose. Henry stepped up to Bernie. "Where is she?" he demanded.

Bernie's face hardened. Elizabeth saw that Henry wasn't going to be able to get answers talking to the man like that. "Henry, stop. Bernie hasn't done anything wrong. You need to calm down. " Elizabeth stepped in front of Henry and placed her hand on his chest mouthing the words "I got this." Henry's jaw was set, but he didn't move.

She turned and flashed Bernie a kind smile, and extended her hand, grabbing his and shaking it. "Hi Bernie. I'm Elizabeth. We came to find Mau-I mean Star." Les said you would be the best person to ask because you know about everyone. You are the one people come to when they need answers. Was Les right? Are you the one with all the answers?" She smiled shyly and leaned in toward him. "I hope so. We really need to find Star."

Bernie almost instantaneously caved under Elizabeth 's flattery. "Yeah, she's upstairs. She's with Benny and Max though. I'd be kind of careful if I were you. Those two are a little rough."

"Thank you so much Bernie. We appreciate your help so much." She reached into her purse and pulled out a $20 for the man and pressed it into his hand. "Where can we find Star upstairs?" Bernie gave them simple directions and tucked the bill inside of his jacket and pointed the way and gave a few directions.

Henry nodded his thanks and he and Elizabeth made their way up the metal stairs, across a catwalk to a walkway with several rooms lining the length of the building. Elizabeth assumed these may once have been office spaces. They walked carefully over the debris and stopped in front of the door. "What do we do now?" Elizabeth asked.

Henry reached out and turned the door handle. It turned freely. "We go in," he said softly. Henry cracked the door enough to see the three laying sprawled out on a dirty mattress unconscious. Henry crossed the room in two steps and pushed one of the guys away from Maureen. He knelt beside her. "Maureen. Sis, wake up for me. Come on!" Henry's voice became a little higher and more strained with each word. Elizabeth placed two fingers against Maureen's neck.

"She has a pulse, but it's weak. We need to get her out of here and to a hospital." Elizabeth didn't even get the full sentence out and Henry had scooped up Maureen and was moving toward the door. Elizabeth quickly surveyed the room and seeing a syringe next to the mattress, made the assumption that heroin was the drug of choice. Carefully Henry carried Maureen down the stairs and out the door. He greatly regretted walking so far away from the car because now they were backtracking and Maureen was dead weight in Henry's arms. Looking down at her in the daylight, her lips were bluish. Henry picked up his pace.

Finally making it to the car, Elizabeth unlocked it and helped Henry into the backseat with Maureen and proceeded to hop into the driver's seat and take out toward the hospital.

Henry cradled Maureen, her head against his shoulder. "Don't die on me Maureen. I'm so sorry. I love you." He rocked her, his tears rolling down his face onto her cheek. Elizabeth took a corner hard, throwing Henry to the side. Maureen's eyes shot open and she struggled weakly against Henry. "Maureen, don't. I've got you. You're safe," Henry murmured over and over. Finally, her eyes cleared and she saw who was holding her.

Tears filled her eyes, "I'm sorry," she mouthed, her eyes started to close again.

"No! Stay with me!" Henry shook her and she cracked her eyes again. "I'm sorry. I love you. I love you." He pushed the hair away from her face. "Do you hear me?"

Elizabeth made another sharp turn. "We're here," she cried, bailing out of the car immediately to get help. Henry grabbed the door handle and barely had the door open when three orderlies came rushing out with a gurney. They hauled Maureen out of the car and placed her on the gurney and started pushing her away. Maureen grabbed hold of Henry's shirt. "Beth?"

"Always," he said as they pushed her through the doors. She let go of him. Henry turned and collapsed into Elizabeth's arms, burying his face in the crook of her neck and sobbed.

Thirty minutes later, Patrick walked in. "Have you heard anything?" Henry shook his head. "How is she? How did you find her? Where?" Patrick was full of questions that Elizabeth mostly answered while Henry's head remained buried in his hands.

A short time later, a nurse stepped to the door. "McCord?" The three stood and were ushered to a small room outside the waiting area. "The doctor will be in shortly," she said, pulling the door closed behind her. Patrick paced the small space behind the table as Henry and Elizabeth sat quietly next to each other holding hands.

The door opened and a middle aged man entered. Hello, I'm Dr. Brian Johnson. Please have a seat." He motioned to the chair next to Elizabeth. She reached up and took Patrick's hand, pulling him in the direction of the chair. When, Patrick sat, the doctor sat as well.

"Mr. McCord, when Maureen arrived, her heart rhythms were very inconsistent and her respirations depressed. We intubated her and tried to counteract the effects of the heroin in her system, but she was in an advanced state of overdose and we weren't able to bring her out of it. We tried multiple times to revive her and we were unsuccessful. I'm so very sorry."

Patrick's hand trembled around Elizabeth's as he let out the breath he'd been holding since he got the call. "Do you think-could I maybe see her?" His voice was soft, yet it conveyed all of the pain he felt and Elizabeth wished so desperately that she could take the burden away from him. She had always thought that the greatest pain one could have was to lose a parent, but in that moment she realized that losing a child could be so much worse.

The doctor stood and extended his hand. Elizabeth shook it, as the men on either side of her were oblivious to his actions. "Of course. I will send for you in a few minutes and you can go back. Again, you have my deepest sympathy."

"Thank you," Elizabeth murmured as he exited the room. She looked over at Henry. He sat stoically with his hands folded in his lap. Her hand slipped over the arm of the chair and covered his, squeezing them. Henry looked up at her, tears in both of their eyes.

"Do you think she knew?" he whispered.

Elizabeth nodded. "I do."

"You think she killed herself?" Patrick asked suddenly.

"No-no-no." Elizabeth shook her head soundly. "That's not what we meant. Maureen was in and out of consciousness on the way to the hospital. Henry was asking if she knew what we were saying to her in the car."

Patrick nodded and sat silently for a few moments. "Do you think?"

Elizabeth pondered that for a moment. "No, I don't. I do think Maureen sensed that she was close to the end though. I think that's why she came to the house last night and why she wanted to set some things straight, especially with Beth." Elizabeth patted Patrick's knee. Henry sat silently thinking about the letters in the car. He wasn't as sure as Elizabeth, but he said nothing.

A nurse came to the door. "You can come back if you like." The three rose from their places and followed her down the hall silently, Patrick leading with Henry and Elizabeth following hand in hand. The nurse stopped in front of a door, and led them inside. "Just hit the nurse call button when you are finished and I'll come and show you out." She stepped to the door. "I'm so very sorry for your loss." Then the nurse disappeared, closing the door behind her.

Patrick moved to one side and Henry to the other. Both looked down on Maureen's body, a white sheet covering her from her ankles up to her shoulders. "She looks peaceful," Patrick said, "More so than she's looked for years." Henry watched his father struggle and finally a hand covered his mouth trying to hold in the sob that was escaping regardless. Henry quickly moved around the end of the bed and pulled his father into a hug.

Elizabeth watched the scene unfold. The McCords weren't particularly a touchy feely bunch and Henry and his father had a rather tumultuous relationship, so seeing the two of them cling to each other pushed Elizabeth over the edge. She quietly backed out of the room and tried to pull herself together. Leaning against the wall, she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths. She wiped her eyes and was just about to head back in when Henry popped his head out looking worried. "Hey, are you?"

"I'm fine." She cut him off. "I was giving you and your dad a few minutes." He eyed her. "Really, come on." She laced her fingers through his a walked back into the room. She'd noticed something before and she wanted to look closer. She pulled the sheet up and looked at the tattoos on Maureen's ankles. "Look," she said to Henry. "Mary Elizabeth March 4. What's that one? Some sort of construction equipment?"

Henry peered over her shoulder, "You're kidding. It's Mike Mulligan's steamshovel. It was Beth's favorite book forever. I don't know how many times I read it. She talked about that steamshovel all of the time."

"Is that all?" Patrick asked, stepping beside Henry. They both looked expectantly at Elizabeth. She looked at them for a moment trying to decide how wrong it would be to search Maureen's body looking for tattoos, Of course, she was curious too, especially since the first two were related to Beth.

She sighed, and lifted the edge of the sheet. Elizabeth only found two more, one on each forearm. The first was a heart with the letters P and A and the date 2-29. "It's our wedding anniversary, but I'm not sure about the other one," Patrick said.

The tattoo was a cross with the dates 3-4,12-15, and 4-16. "Well besides 3-4 being Beth's birthday," Elizabeth mused. "Do you recognize the other dates?"

Patrick seemed lost in thought for a while. "It's not just her birthday," he said. "It was also the day she was Baptized. I think it's when she received the Sacraments."

"The April date is right. What was in December?" Elizabeth asked.

"Reconciliation," Henry replied. "I remember it was after finals because we had to stay in the dorms longer. We came and picked you up afterwards and went out to eat."

Elizabeth thought back. "Yeah, I do remember. Now that you say it."

"We told Maureen, but she brushed it off like it was no big thing. I guess it was more important to her than she let on," Henry said.

"Seems like she did a lot of that," Elizabeth said.

They stayed a few minutes longer before calling the nurse to show them out. The three walked slowly out of the hospital. Patrick told Henry that he would meet them at home, and he wandered, shoulders slumped, toward the opposite side of the parking lot.

"Want me to drive?" Elizabeth asked. Henry shook his head and took the keys from her hand. Henry sat behind the wheel and didn't move. Elizabeth placed her hand on his shoulder.

"I can't believe how little I knew about Maureen," Henry said, his voice full of sadness. "I wish I would have taken the time to get to know her."

"I doubt she would have let you," Elizabeth said. "She did a good job of keeping people at arm's length. Maybe she thought it was easier that way. She knew how you felt at the end. Hopefully that gave her some peace."

"I pray that's the case." Henry looked at Elizabeth. "Let's go." He turned over the ignition and pulled the car from its spot and pointed it toward home.


	22. Chapter 22

AN: Surprise! I had the weekend off and had a bit of free time, so you get another chapter. I hope you enjoy it. I promise happier times are ahead. These last few chapters have been kind of depressing.

Thank you so much for the kind words in your reviews. Sometimes when I'm stuck, I go back and reread what people have written. I love suggestions or thoughts about how things could or should go. It doesn't always work with my brain, but I love reading them and knowing that my writing is making the reader think.

Have a fabulous day!

Chapter 22

Henry took the long way home. He didn't need to explain why. The thought of having to tell Beth was weighing on them both. While sitting at an intersection, he turned to Elizabeth. "I remember thinking that dealing with Mom's death was going to be bad. That was a cakewalk compared to what this is going to be."

"Yeah." Elizabeth sighed. They sat in silence the rest of the way home. Pulling up in front of the house, they saw Patrick's truck parked in the driveway. He was still sitting in it. His arms folded across the top of the steering wheel, his head rested on them. Henry opened the truck door. Patrick raised his head revealing his tear soaked face.

"I'm not prepared to bury my child," he choked out. "It's not like I thought it wasn't a possibility, but when Ann died, I thought that sealed the deal. Surely God wouldn't make me go through that on my own."

"You aren't alone Dad. We're all here. Come on. Let's go in." Henry stepped aside so Patrick could get out and the three walked silently up the walk.

Patrick stopped on the porch. "I can't tell Beth. That's just something I don't think I can do."

Henry threw his arm over his dad's shoulders, "She's our daughter now. We'll tell her." Elizabeth stopped in her tracks. It wasn't that she didn't know that she and Henry would end up with Beth. It had been in the back of her mind since she flipped through Ann's letters. Ann certainly knew it would happen. Even though Elizabeth knew that Maureen didn't have any legal rights to Beth, she was still her daughter. Maureen's death seemed to make it official. Beth was their daughter. It was in Maureen's final words that she gave Beth to Henry, to both of them. Elizabeth didn't see it then, but that's obviously what it was and Henry knew it too. The weight of that was suddenly immense.

In typical Henry fashion, he sensed that something was amiss and immediately turned around. He looked at her and she tried unsuccessfully to hide her emotions. "Are you alright?" he asked.

"Not in the slightest. But I'll be fine. We need to tell Beth now." Henry nodded and opened the door.

Beth and Erin were hanging out on the couch together watching TV. "You're back!" Beth exclaimed, and jumped up to greet them, but stopped before she reached them. "Something's wrong. What is it?"

"Where's Shane?" Patrick asked. Erin pointed upstairs, her look indicating that she also wondered what was about to transpire.

"How about we take Bethie upstairs and send Shane down?" Patrick nodded and sat in the chair opposite Erin. Henry ushered Beth upstairs with Elizabeth following.

Henry stopped at Shane's room to send him downstairs while Beth and Elizabeth continued to Henry's. Climbing onto the bed, Elizabeth patted the spot next to her and Beth joined her. "What's going on?" Beth asked.

Elizabeth shook her head. "Let's wait for Henry," she said. Beth was both concerned and dismayed at being put off. Henry appeared at the door, looking both devastated and scared. He entered and closed the door behind him before making his way to the bed, where he sat down beside them.

Looking at Henry, Elizabeth could see that he needed some time to prepare himself, so she started. "Do you remember last night when I left?" Beth nodded. "Well I left because your mom showed up and wanted to talk to me."

"Mom was here? And she didn't even say hi to me?" Beth's tone was laced with irritation.

"Bethie, she wasn't really in a good place to be seeing you," Henry said.

Elizabeth continued. "She actually came to talk to me about you and tell me things that she wanted to make sure you knew." She exhaled, gearing up for any argument that Beth might throw, but Beth said nothing. Her expression was blank and Elizabeth found it unsettling. "I wanted her to be able to see you, so I took her to a motel room so she could get some sleep and get cleaned up. I told your mom that I would come get her this morning and bring her here to see you and Grandpa. That's where Henry and I went this morning, to go get her."

She glanced at Henry and he nodded. "When we got there, she was gone. We went to find her and when we did, she was unconscious. We took her to the hospital and the doctors tried to help her, but they couldn't." Henry waited for some sort of recognition so he wouldn't actually have to say it, but Bethie just stared at him. "Baby, your mom died."

Henry and Elizabeth both sat and waited for some reaction from Beth. She just stared at them. "She had drugs, right?" Beth finally asked. They both nodded. "Well, she always thought they were more important than her family, so I guess I'm glad she had that. Can I go finish my TV show?" Beth made a move to get off the bed and then turned to Henry and Elizabeth, who were just looking at each other. "I guess I am supposed to be sad that she died?"

Elizabeth looked to Henry before she spoke. He didn't seem to have any more idea what to say than she did. "You don't have to be sad, but what are you thinking?" She leaned in and took Beth's hand.

"I don't want to talk about it," she said as she made eye contact with Henry. "Can I go?"

"Um, sure," Henry said. Beth stood up and walked out of the room. "What was that?" he asked.

"Not the response I expected for sure," Elizabeth said. "Maybe let it set in, and we'll try again later. And we have her letter."

"I want to read it first," Henry said, "To make sure it's appropriate." Elizabeth nodded in agreement. "Where are they?" Elizabeth reached down and picked her purse up off the floor. She pulled the stack out and handed them to him. He opened Beth's and read it with Elizabeth looking over his shoulder.

"I don't see anything wrong with it, do you?" she asked. He shook his head.

"We'll talk to Bethie again and give it to her then," Henry handed Elizabeth her letter and pulled his own from the stack. "Should we?"

Elizabeth moved closer to Henry and leaned into his shoulder. She flipped open the motel stationery. "Maureen's handwriting looks similar to your mom's," she commented as she started to read.

 _Elizabeth,_

 _You're a straight shooter, so I don't feel it necessary to sugarcoat my message. I am beyond jealous of you because you took what was supposed to be mine. You didn't set out to do it, and I sure didn't mean to make it so easy for you, but that's what happened. I've watched Beth grow these last few years and she's amazingly smart, confident and strong. As much as I don't want to, I give you a lot of the credit for that._

 _I'm not sure what I expected to happen tonight when I showed up at the house. I had decided that at this point in our lives, everyone was better off if I just chose to stay away. But, I couldn't disappear without making sure that Beth didn't meet the same fate I had. It seemed like the one thing I could give her. Thank you for listening to me. I know you didn't have to do that, given the way I've treated you. I saw what Beth sees in you. I'm not really big on God most of the time, but I really do think He had a hand in this. I've never been what she needs me to be, but I do love her and want the best for her. Since I cannot be that person, I'm glad she has you._

 _Take care of Henry. He's moody sometimes, but his heart is in the right place. He'll probably try to take on some sense of responsibility about what happened. Don't let him to that. Like I said, just a bad hand of cards. Someone has to get them and in this life, it was me. I'm just lucky that I was able to see some of the good before I stepped away._

 _Thank you for being there for both of them. Maureen_

"I don't think she was trying to kill herself. I think she'd decided that we were better off without her around, so she was going to disappear. Henry?" Elizabeth had been in her own little world, but when Henry didn't respond, she turned to him. "What?"

He had tears running down his face. "There are probably more nice words on this page than Maureen ever said to me in her entire life." He handed her his letter. "I don't think so either." Elizabeth handed him hers.

 _Henry,_

 _I think of all the people I hurt over the years, I caused you the most pain. It is you standing in the courtroom holding Beth's hand that I remember as they walked me out after sentencing me to prison. Mom and Dad brought Beth to visit me a few weeks later and told me that she had cancer and that you were taking her to Virginia. I can't begin to tell you how pissed I was. How dare you take Beth away from me? But then, you showed up the following week and you brought Beth and said that now that you were closer, you could bring Beth every month instead of every other. Of course I was awful and any person in their right mind would have just forgotten all about me, but not you._

 _I don't really have any idea how hard having Beth and going to college was. I'm sure it was though. Probably really hard. And I know that you made the decision to do it because of Mom and Dad and Beth, but I thank you. Beth grew to be a wonderful person because of you, and how you raised her. You are kind, smart, and strong. I am glad that Beth is surrounded by love. I never worried about what kind of person Beth would end up being by being around you._

 _I know that there is a lot of judgement on your end about how I ended up the way I did, and some of that is very deserved. If Elizabeth hasn't told you, maybe someday she will. It wasn't all my fault, but I definitely wasn't strong enough or committed enough or whatever I needed to be to beat it. I have a lot of regret about that, but it's far too late for me to do much about it now. Decisions were made and now we all get to live with them. Beth is of an age where having me around will do more harm than good, so that is the driving force behind me going away. You've graduated. You have the Marines and you and Elizabeth will have a beautiful life together. I'm grateful that Beth will get a chance at a happy life because of what you have given her._

 _I've never been one to be sappy, but I want you to know that I love you and I could not be more proud to have you as my brother and I will be eternally grateful that you took Beth as your own and loved her in a way that I wasn't able to. Now, you and Elizabeth probably need to jump on that marriage bandwagon and shell out a few kids. I would hate for Beth to miss out on the experience of having brothers and sisters. It's a special kind of love that I'm glad I got to experience._

 _Maureen_

Elizabeth wiped the tears from her eyes and sniffed. She turned to look at Henry. "I love you so much."

Henry slipped his hand around the back of Elizabeth's neck, pulling her to meet him. As their foreheads rested together, he whispered, "I love you." He shifted, and moved to kiss her cheek and then caught the corner of her mouth.

"I love you too," she murmured as their lips touched. It was a soft kiss, warm and strong, his lips wrapped around hers. She slid her arms around his back and held him close before laying her head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry it ended like this."

"Me too," he said. After a moment, they let each other go. "Let's take these downstairs and check on Beth."

Henry headed out to the front porch where Patrick, Shane and Erin were sitting together. Elizabeth sat on the couch next to Beth. "Do you want to talk?"

"If I have nothing nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all." Beth mumbled, still staring at the TV.

"I give you permission," Elizabeth said, tucking a loose hair behind Beth's ear. "Say whatever you're thinking. Don't worry about anyone's feelings."

"I'm relieved. Not relieved that's she's dead, but now I don't have to wonder about her. When she's going to show up. What she's going to say or do. Is she going to try and drag me away? Or maybe just cut me down. Tell me what a disappointment I am? How I'm not quite good enough?" Beth squeezed her eyes shut. "I'm not happy she's dead, but I'm not sad about it either. The thing that makes me sad is that Grandma Ann would be disappointed in what I'm thinking. Grandma loved Mom so much and my Mom was so mean to everyone. It hurt her and Grandpa. And Shane and Erin. And Henry. She always hurt Henry. Because of the drugs. She loved the drugs more than everyone else. People loved her and she loved the drugs." Beth pushed herself off the couch and went flying through the kitchen and out the back door.

Elizabeth let out a long breath and then rose from the couch to follow her. Beth was in the backyard sitting on the homemade swing that hung from the big oak tree. "Think we can swing like we used to?" Elizabeth asked, looking up at the tree branch. "Without breaking the tree?"

"Did you know that Grandpa put the swing there for he and Grandma to swing on, a long time ago?" Beth looked up into the tree. "If it could hold them, I'm sure it can hold us."

Elizabeth laughed, "I didn't know that. I guess it explains why the seat is bigger. It's a Grandpa sized seat, not a Beth sized seat." She reached out and nudged Beth off the seat and sat down. Beth climbed over the top of her, straddling her lap. She laid her head on Elizabeth's shoulder. "There's a lot of stuff that went on with your mom that you don't know," Elizabeth said. "She was certainly not a perfect person, but she loved you very much."

Beth pulled back and rolled her eyes at Elizabeth. "My mom had a lot of feelings for me, but love was not one of them. She tolerated me and sometimes she didn't even do that well."

"She had a poor way of showing it, but she truly thought keeping you at arm's length was the best way to protect you. Above all else, she didn't want you to end up on the same path she did. She came to me last night to ask me to do something. Something to protect you. It was her plan to disappear from our lives because she thought everyone would be better off if she never came around. She wrote everyone a letter. Henry has yours. But after spending some time with her last night and today, I can say without a doubt that she loved you more than anyone else in the world." Elizabeth wiped away the tears that had started to fall.

"She loved the drugs the most."

"She hated the drugs, but when you are addicted to something, your body doesn't give you the option of saying no. Her brain and her body were wired to need them. She would have loved to stop, but she couldn't." Elizabeth placed her hands on Beth's shoulders. "She physically could not stop." Beth put her head back on Elizabeth's shoulder and Elizabeth pushed off and the swing swung gently back and forth.

"What did Mom want you to do?" Beth mumbled.

"Talk to you about some things. But, in light of what's happened today, do you think we can wait on that for a bit? Beth shrugged. Elizabeth pushed Beth up to look at her and grinned. "I learned something about you this morning." Beth looked at her confused. "I learned what your favorite book was when you were little."

Beth gave her a small smile. "What was it?"

"Mike Mulligan and his Steam Shovel." Elizabeth poked her in the ribs. "Am I right?"

Beth tried to hide her smile. "I did have a particular fondness for that book. When I was _really_ little. How did you know that?"

Elizabeth looked up and saw Henry approaching. "Your mom had that same steam shovel tattooed on her ankle," he said.

Beth whipped around to look at him. "A tattoo of a steam shovel?" Henry nodded.

"And on her other ankle was a tattoo of your name and birthday," Elizabeth added.

Beth screwed her face into a confused look. "Why would she do that?" Henry shrugged.

Elizabeth was thoughtful. "Maybe because it was something she could look at that reminded her what was on this side of the drugs. Something to come back for. I don't know for sure."

"Did you tell her about the other one?" Henry asked. Beth turned to him, her curiosity peaked. He reached out for her arm. "She had a cross right here and it had the dates that you received your sacraments." Henry traced the spot on her arm.

"I didn't know that," Beth murmured. She put her head back on Elizabeth's shoulder and Henry gave them both a push. "So do you think she really did love me?"

"Without a doubt Bethie," Henry said. "Did you know she wrote you a letter?"

"Yeah, Elizabeth told me, but I'm not ready for that yet," Beth said. Henry nodded and gave them another push.

Two days later, the McCord family gathered in the front of the church. It was a much different scene than Ann's funeral. It was only the immediate family and a few very close friends. There was no constant stream of mourners, no food covering the counters at home, no joyous stories of a life well lived. There was only the silence of a life taken too soon after many years of trial and heartache. After going to the cemetery, they all came back to the house. Elizabeth and Erin made sandwiches for everyone and they sat around quietly eating.

Shane finally spoke. "Remember playing hide and seek when we were kids? It would irritate me to no end that Maureen would always find me first, no matter where I hid."

Henry laughed. " You know it's because you were so wiggly that every spot you hid in was rocking all over the place. The rest of us just tried to ignore it and find someone else first."

Shane looked embarrassed. "Really? How come no one ever told me."

"And ruin our chances of finding you so easily? Doubtful," said Erin. "When I got big enough that Mom and Dad kicked me out of their bed, Maureen let me sleep with her if I got scared."

"Elizabeth let me do that when Henry was gone and I missed him," Beth added. Elizabeth bit her lip to keep from smiling as Henry tensed behind her. They both remembered that awkward moment only a couple weeks before when Beth unknowingly climbed into bed with Elizabeth after Henry returned from boot camp. Elizabeth woke in the morning and to find herself sandwiched between the two of them. There were a few scary moments when she and Henry had to figure out how to get out of the bed and get dressed before Beth woke up. It was one thing if she found them sleeping in the same bed, but it would be completely another thing to find them sleeping with each other naked. That had been a bullet dodged and they were much more careful after that. Elizabeth threw and elbow back into his stomach and he poked her in the side.

"What about you Henry? What do you remember about Mom?" Beth asked.

Henry's mind immediately went to cradling her in the car on the way to the hospital, and the moment she recognized him. He brushed that aside quickly, before his emotions got the best of him. "Dad, how old were we when we got the sandbox at the edge of the deck? Maybe 7 and 3?"

Patrick tilted his head, thinking. "Around then. Shane was just a baby. He was too little to get in it."

Henry continued. "We got this sandbox the summer when Shane was a baby and Mom would sit with Shane on the swing and watch Maureen and I play in the sand. We built castles and roads and I brought a whole set of cows out one day and we made a farm. We played all kinds of things in that sandbox. All day, every day that summer."

"What happened to it?" Beth wanted to know.

"Erin and Shane used it for a while and then the boards started rotting, and then, well we got occupied with other things and we never replaced it." Patrick glossed over it, but Henry knew that was when they started having trouble with Maureen.

The next few days passed quickly and before they knew it, Elizabeth and Henry we're pulling into Langley, Virginia. Elizabeth's home for at least the next six months, likely more. They drove onto base and checked in with base housing and picked up the keys to their new to them 2 bedroom apartment. The couple got everything carried in in just a few trips. With the sparse belongings that Elizabeth brought on this first trip, they had everything put away within the hour. It gave them enough time to run out to a second hand furniture store and pick out a couch, bed, and table and chairs for the kitchen. It wasn't fabulous but it was nice enough and Elizabeth didn't want to spend too much time or money on something that was temporary. It was luck that the delivery driver agreed to follow them back and they got the apartment finished before nightfall. In the absence of a TV, the radio played soft classics in the background while they cuddled on the couch. "Are you ready for this?" he asked.

"No. Just say the word and I'm out of here following you to the ends of the Earth," she said.

"I won't do that," he said.

"A girl can dream, right?" she asked. She pulled him toward her mouth. She smiled against his lips. "How about you fill my dreams with the good stuff?"

"I can do that," he said, laying her back on the couch. Two hours and two locations later, Elizabeth came screaming his name and he collapsed on top of her, christening the new bed. As they calmed, Henry looked at Elizabeth and studied her. "Can I tell you something?" Henry asked.

" Mmm hmm," she purred, fully sated, and nearly asleep.

Henry rolled out of the bed and she groaned. "Don't move. I'll be right back." He returned before she opened her eyes. "Hey, sleepyhead. Look at me." She smiled and opened her eyes to see him on one elbow looking down at her. "I love you so much and the events of the past few weeks make it that much more clear that I am supposed to spend my life with you." Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Henry pressed a finger to her lips and continued on. "I know you're worried about what could happen with us over the next few years being in different places and deployments and CIA assignments and Beth and all of it, but I want you to know that you will always have my heart." He leaned down and kissed her. As he pulled back, he placed a box in her hand and he whispered, "Elizabeth Adams will you marry me?"


	23. Chapter 23

AN: Here it is!

Chapter 23

"...I want you to know that you will always have my heart." He leaned down and kissed her. As he pulled back, he placed a box in her hand and he whispered, "Elizabeth Adams will you marry me?"

"Henry," Elizabeth gasped, "Are you serious?"

"Babe, I've never been more serious about anything in my life. I've had the ring for a while now but I just couldn't find a good time. There is nothing more I want than for you to be my wife, and if I don't just ask, it will just keep getting pushed back by the craziness of our lives."

"Wow! I don't really know what to think. So much is going on Henry. Our lives are spinning out of control. I'm leaving. You're leaving. Maureen just died. Beth is switching schools. And you want to get married?" Elizabeth's brain was firing on all cylinders, trying to process the request.

"I do. I very much do." Henry kissed her again. "Forget about the rest of it. Just think about us, you and me. Do you want to get married? Do you want to spend the rest of our lives together?" Elizabeth allowed her eyes to fall shut. She loved Henry so much that it physically hurt to be apart. She wanted to be with him always. She definitely wanted to marry him. Henry pressed his weight against her and she felt the pressure begin to build in her center. She opened her eyes fighting against the feelings of desire.

"Yes. Henry. I want to marry you," she smiled, feeling as though a large weight had been removed. Henry shifted off of her and Elizabeth groaned at the loss. He removed the ring box from her grasp and opened it. She held her hand up and he slipped the ring on her finger and she turned her hand to look at the ring. "Henry. It's beautiful. I love it."

"I knew you would," he said. "Now, do we have a celebratory round still out there or is it time to go to sleep?"

"Oh, I think I'm good for one more round. How about you?" Henry smirked at her before diving under the covers causing her to giggle before shrieking as he tickled her.

Elizabeth made it through the week with Henry laying low, and no one came to throw him off base. The orientation was pretty easy, just a lot of information to assimilate. Friday afternoon, she walked into the apartment with an armload of briefs to work through. They packed a weekend bag, jumped into the car and headed back to Pittsburgh. She worked the entire four hour drive and made a fairly decent dent in the pile.

When Henry pulled up in front of the house, Beth came barreling down the walk and tackled Elizabeth. "I missed you so much. How was your new job? Are you a spy? Did they give you a gun?"

Elizabeth laughed. "I missed you too. The job is good and I'm just doing desk work and reading a lot of papers. No gun, but they are going to teach me how to shoot. Like growing up on a farm in Virginia, I don't know how to shoot!" She rolled her eyes.

Beth turned her attention to Henry and hugged him before helping take their bags and go up the walk. The walked into the home and Henry and Beth took the bags upstairs. Shane and Erin were both at work. Patrick walked out of the kitchen and gave Elizabeth a hug. As Henry was coming down the stairs, Patrick grabbed Elizabeth's hand. "Did you forget to let us know something?"

Elizabeth smiled widely. "Henry proposed Sunday."

Beth threw a shoulder into Henry's side. "It's about time you got around to that."

"So how did Henry propose?" Patrick asked. Elizabeth shot Henry a look. There was no way she was going to tell Patrick that they were in bed basking in post coital bliss. That was a firm no.

She glanced at Henry, who had a glint of panic in his eyes as well. "Skywriter!" she said, a little too loudly. "Henry took me to the park and we were sitting on a hill and there it was in the sky."

Patrick looked over at Henry. "How'd you afford that kind of fanciness?"

Henry immediately responded, "It was a discount skywriter, special half price deal."

Elizabeth grinned and just couldn't let it go there, so she winked at Henry, "And it seems for your discount, you didn't quite get all of the letters. It read MAR ME ELIBET." She made a wide swing of her arm through the air. Patrick chuckled.

Henry gave Elizabeth a wry smile. "It worked didn't it?"

"Oh yes. It most certainly worked. I saw stars." He wrapped his arms around her waist and she kissed his cheek. Patrick took Beth into the kitchen to see what they could find for a bedtime snack and Henry gave her a dirty look.

"What?" she giggled.

"The skywriter spelled the proposal wrong? Really?" Henry arched his eyebrows at her. 

"Well, it was half price!" she joked.

"At least we can keep the real story to ourselves." Henry laughed and nibbled her ear. "Although, I'm totally up for recreating it later tonight." Elizabeth blushed and kissed Henry's cheek.

It was just over six months later that Elizabeth stood alone in the bridal room at the back of St. Margaret's church in Pittsburgh. She leaned against the window frame and looked out over the dreary December cityscape. Her emotions were all over the place. She was beyond overjoyed that Henry was back from San Diego. He'd returned 5 days ago and Elizabeth picked him up from the hangar at Langley. He had another week to go before he started the next part of his training. They counted themselves lucky that he would be in Quantico which was less than an hour away. They could see each other every weekend. Henry could possibly attend some of Beth's school activities. Those were good things. She should be happy. She loved Henry and she was about to become his wife. Elizabeth was happy. And yet, the feelings of worry and sadness kept needling their way into her thoughts.

Working at the CIA was great. Elizabeth excelled at the job. She was a quick learner, had excellent analytical skills, and was adaptable. She had been quickly promoted within the Company and was privy to more sensitive information than most people with her tenure. Because of this, she was aware of the situation unfolding in the Middle East and knew that Henry would likely be sent there for his first deployment. The thought made her ill and of course she couldn't say anything to him or anyone else.

Then there was Beth. She'd be 12 soon and was as moody and sullen as Elizabeth remembered being at her age. The adjustment to her new school was tough, and she didn't get to see Amelia as much as she wanted to, which made her mood worse. Beth needed more from Elizabeth than Elizabeth felt like she could give and they both were struggling. Elizabeth clung to the hope that Henry being closer would help them both.

And then there was her own loneliness. Because she had Beth, she headed home directly after work. Elizabeth helped Beth with her homework, made dinner, tidied the apartment and ran the occasional errand. She knew the people she worked with but wasn't able to go out for drinks after work, or catch a movie with the girls, so she missed out on forming the deeper relationships that others were. The others were there alone and consequently spent a lot of time together. Elizabeth was the odd man out, and it was very isolating. She had essentially done the same thing in college. It hadn't been an issue then because she and Henry always switched off. Then, once they were serious, it hadn't really been important. They had each other.

Elizabeth rested her head against the wall. The situation wasn't going to get any better. With Henry being closer, she hoped he would be around more, but that meant that she wanted to spend all of the time she could with him. She still wouldn't be going out with the girls. She pushed that out of her mind. She was there to do a job, not to make a bunch of friends. If it was meant to be, it would happen. Henry and Beth were her priorities. They would have to be enough.

There was a soft knock on the door snapping her out of her thoughts. She answered and was surprised to find Patrick standing there. He looked a little uncomfortable in his suit, but handsome nonetheless. Elizabeth always thought Henry favored his mother, but she could definitely see Henry in the man standing before her. "You are beautiful Elizabeth," he said, causing her to blush. "Henry sent me to find you. He wanted you to have this." He handed her a letter. Elizabeth furrowed her brow. "What's?" and then she stopped. "How?" She held Ann's letter for her entitled "On the day you marry my son."

Elizabeth had been heartbroken that she hadn't been able to carve out time to make it back to Virginia to get their letters from the box under her bed. The marriage was kind of an on the fly thing. She had never dreamed that they would need them when she went through the boxes and pulled the other letters she thought she might need before they returned to the farm house. Henry had told her it wasn't a big deal and that they could read them when they visited the next time. She turned the letter over in her hand, willing herself to hold back the tears. "How?" she repeated.

"Last week one day, Henry met your hired hand halfway to get all three." Hers, Henry's and Beth's. She smiled. He must have done it last Wednesday. He'd told her that he couldn't have lunch with her because he had to go to Quantico. "Thank you," she said, clutching the letter to her chest.

"You have about ten minutes before your brother comes to get you," he said and then stepped away from the door, leaving her alone once again. Elizabeth closed the door softly and she looked down at the letter.

She carefully perched herself on the stool in the middle of the room, fluffing her dress to try and prevent it from wrinkling. Elizabeth ran her index finger along the flap and removed the letter.

Just unfolding the letter and seeing Ann's script across the page, caused her to tear up. Perhaps reading this wasn't a good idea, at least not now. She shook that thought off and began

My dearest Elizabeth,

Congratulations on your special day. It pains me that I'm not there to see it in person, but know that I am definitely there in spirit.

I remember the day I called to talk to Beth and Henry and they sounded happy. I had been so worried about them and for weeks, each time I called, I could hear the despair in both of their voices. But that particular day, I called and I heard joy on the other end of the line, from both of them. It was a turning point. I ended the call that day and I fell on my knees, thanking God for the young woman who had brought both of my children a ray of hope.

You are the most loving, intelligent, strong and optimistic person I've ever met. Henry and Beth's lives are better because of you. The three of you have already been through more than most people your age, so I have no doubts about your ability to weather any storm that comes your way.

It's necessary to remember that marriage isn't something that you just do one day. It's active and takes effort. Romance and infatuation are short lived. Love takes time and it's hard work. You'll have times where you are so close and then others where the distance (both physical and emotional) is painful. Work through it. Go back to what was good and work from there. Make the sacrifice and love like tomorrow may never come.

Love always,

Ann

Elizabeth dabbed her eyes with a tissue and folded the letter, placing it back in the envelope. "Love like tomorrow may never come," she murmured. She nodded her head, and looked at the letter.

Elizabeth stood up and brushed her hands down her dress, smoothing it. She was about to marry the man with whom she was madly in love. That was a joyous event. She was happy and excited about that. The rest of the angst could just go away for a little while.

Henry sat on the opposite side of the church in the sacristy, waiting for someone to tell him that it was time. He leaned against the wall and looked out the window. Henry wished that it would have been a prettier day. It was overcast and dull, rain threatening, although it had held off so far.

Running his hands down the lapels of his coat, he felt the crumple of paper in the breast pocket. He sighed. He wasn't sure if he was ready to tackle his mom's letter or not. He loved these letters, but at the same time, it pained him that she had to write these letters because she wasn't physically present in their lives.

Taking a deep breath, he steadied his emotions and pulled the letter from his pocket. "When you marry Elizabeth" was written in precise script across the front. He opened the envelope and pulled the letter out.

Henry,

Words cannot express how excited I am for you and Elizabeth. The two of you are very well suited to each other and your love for each other radiates out for all to see.

Marriage is a wonderful gift. You've signed on to bring your best friend with you as you live your life. It the most rewarding and will bring you immeasurable amounts of joy. Without a doubt, there will be hard times. Be compassionate and know that Elizabeth always feels things more deeply than what she shows. Make sure you watch and listen to her. Love her deeply and even more so when you're going through a difficult time.

It brings me such joy to have been able to catch a glimpse of what your future will look like once I am gone. The two of you are special people and our family will blessed because of this union.

Love always

Mom

Henry folded the letter and tucked it back in his pocket. He thought about what she said. He was worried about Elizabeth. Even though she was happy that he was back from San Diego, he felt like she was holding on to something. A something that kept her from being in the moment. He'd have to work on that. Tomorrow. There were other things to do today.

There was a soft knock on the door. It was Patrick. They were ready.

He stood at the altar and waited. He looked out over the small group of people that had gathered. His family, a few friends from college, the Martins, a great aunt and uncle of Elizabeth's that he just met last night and a couple of his mother's friends-people that Patrick said would want to be there for Ann.

Henry smiled. He had tried to talk Elizabeth into a big wedding, but she hadn't seemed interested, saying that the she really wanted there were his family, Will and Beth. She didn't care about the rest. They were having a small reception at the school cafeteria next door and dinner with the family before checking into a hotel downtown for the night. Sunday would be spent driving back to Virginia because Elizabeth had to go to work on Monday and Beth still had a couple weeks of school before Christmas break. He hoped they could carve out some real quality time before he had to move to Quantico.

The organ music changed and snapped Henry from his thoughts. Erin came walking down the aisle and was met halfway by Shane. They walked together and parted ways in front of him. Next Beth came through the doors. Henry was blown away. Beth was wearing a simple white satin dress with short sleeves and a wide Navy ribbon tied around the waist. She had her hair pulled up into a bun with a few tendrils pulled loose and curled at her temples. Henry had never given much thought to who she looked like, but seeing her dressed up like this, she was a dead ringer for the Maureen of Henry's childhood. Tears sprang to his eyes. He was not prepared. He felt something touch his hand. Shane shoved a handkerchief in Henry's hand and whispered, "It's almost like Maureen is getting a second chance and she's going to get it right this time."

Henry squeezed his hand. "I hope so." He quickly dabbed his eyes and shoved the handkerchief into his pocket, and stepped forward to meet Beth.

Henry bent down and kissed her forehead. "When did you become so grown up?" he asked. "You're beautiful."

Beth smiled and blushed. "Elizabeth had someone do our hair this morning."

"It looks very nice," Henry said.

The music changed again and Henry's eyes shot up to the entrance. The heavy oak doors were closed and the anticipation was crushing. The ushers pushed the doors open to reveal Elizabeth and Will. Henry felt the air rush out of his lungs. Her hair was pulled up the same way as Beth's even down to the small pieces of hair curled at her temples. "We're lucky," Beth murmured, still hanging on Henry's arm.

"We are blessed," Henry said, taking Elizabeth in. Her gown was white satin with a lace overlay, strapless and fitted to the waist, then the skirt flared out to the floor. She had flowers in her hair and the veil fell past her shoulders. She was breathtaking. Henry blinked. He felt light headed and closed his eyes.

Shane's hand was at his back. "Breathe and don't lock your knees." Henry nodded and noticed that Beth had let go of him. He took the step forward and met Will.

Will shot him a wide grin. "I'm letting you know up front that I don't accept returns. She's all yours!" He took Elizabeth's arm off of his own and linked it with Henry's. Elizabeth let out a huff and glared at Will. He winked and slid into the pew.

Henry smiled widely. "Just so we're clear, I would never think of returning you," he whispered. "And you are stunning." He took the hand he was holding and brought it up to his lips, kissing it. "Let's get married, shall we?"

AN: I finally stuck the skywriter bit in! I'm feeling accomplished. I think there's going to be a fairly big time jump here pretty soon, but I still haven't figured out how I'm going to do it quite yet. Please, bear with me.


	24. Chapter 24

AN: I am sorry this took longer than expected. I could kick myself for writing the idea of letters into this story. They are emotionally draining and they take forever because I'm not a letter writer. LOL Anyway, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I'm going to be alternating back and forth between this and Evolution until they are both finished, so hopefully you should have an update at least once a week, more if I can find time or get on a roll.

Please review. Seeing what you like (or don't like) makes me happy and hopefully makes me a better writer.

Chapter 24

Elizabeth turned the key in the lock on the front door and stepped inside, letting her weight fall back against it closing it harder than she meant to. "Shit," she muttered.

"You're home." Beth's voice cut through Elizabeth's muddled thoughts and she snapped to attention, trying to mask the buzz she was feeling.

"Hey. Beth. I thought you would be in bed by now," Elizabeth said, hoping she sounded more put together than what she felt in that moment.

"I was waiting for you. I wanted to talk." Beth rolled her eyes. "But it can wait. You don't appear to be in any shape to be having a real conversation."

"Excuse me?" Elizabeth tilted her head and gave Beth a hard stare.

"You're drunk." Beth returned the stare in equal measure. Elizabeth inwardly cringed. She didn't think Beth shared many physical features with Maureen, although Henry argued differently. However, there were occasions when Beth wore an expression that was Maureen made over. This moment was one of those times.

Elizabeth balanced on one foot and pulled one heel off and then switched and pulled the other off. "I'm not drunk. Did I have a couple drinks? Yes, but that doesn't mean I'm drunk." She eyed Beth to see if the 13 year old was going to argue. Beth parted her lips as if she was going to protest but then closed her mouth again. "Let me change into comfy clothes and we'll talk. You could make us some tea if you like."

"To sober you up," Beth muttered under her breath. Elizabeth considered whether or not to take the bait. Beth had been very argumentative in recent weeks, a change in behavior that directly correlated with Henry's new orders. They had been lucky that Henry's training got delayed and he ended up staying at Quantico for almost a year instead of just 6 months. Then there was a stint in Alabama and now, Florida. This was Henry's last stop before deployment. Between his release from Alabama and his orders to show up in Florida, Henry had been able to come home for 2 weeks. The three of them had a wonderful time together. Then, just like so many times before, he had to leave, and Beth became moody, sullen and mouthy.

Elizabeth, on the other hand, didn't say too much when Henry left. Of course, her heart broke and she missed him terribly, but most of the time, no one would ever know. She just carried on doing what needed to be done. It was only in the stillness of the night that she let the tears fall and prayed for morning to come, one day closer to the day when they could be together. This time, it had become so much more real. This was the last stop before deployment, and because of her job, Elizabeth was in the loop enough to know exactly where he would be going. She was constantly nauseous and had lost her appetite. She had trouble catching more than a couple hours of sleep and she cried every night. When the girls at work had said they were going out, she actually asked if they minded if she joined. She hoped that she could drink just enough that she could relax and go to sleep. Now, that decision was becoming something of an issue, not that Beth should get to offer commentary on those things.

"You don't need to bother with the tea," Elizabeth said. "I'll be back in a minute after I change." She went into her bedroom and started haphazardly shedding her clothing. Clad in only her underwear, she entered the bathroom and splashed water on her face. "No sleep for you tonight," she muttered before grabbing the towel to dry her face. After putting on a t-shirt and pajama pants, so took a deep breath and made her way back to the living room.

Beth was in the kitchen pouring boiling water over the tea bags. "You didn't have to do that," Elizabeth said.

Beth shook her head. "I was being a pain in the ass." Elizabeth furrowed her eyebrows at the girl. "I know. Language. I'm aware." Beth handed her the steaming cup and moved to sit down on the couch across the open room.

"Come over here. I'm not yelling across the room." Beth moved back to the couch where Elizabeth was sitting and flopped into the corner and sat slumped, tucking her knees against her chest. Elizabeth waited, but never quite perfected the gift of waiting people out like Henry's mom. "What's up?" she asked.

Beth's head shot up, her mouth opened to speak, but she said nothing, and dropped her head again. Elizabeth set her tea down on the end table and moved over to Beth. She pulled her into an embrace. "Hey, what is it?"

"A lot of stuff." Beth sat quietly for a minute. "I don't fit in with Amelia's friends. She is still my friend, but we can't all be friends together, and everyone else just seems like a bunch of jerks." Elizabeth rested her head on Beth's. Over the summer, they moved off base to an apartment closer to the Martins so that Beth could go to the same Catholic school as Amelia. The girls had remained friends the year they were apart and saw each other as much as they could, but Elizabeth was worried about Beth's naivety about jumping into the middle of Amelia's already established world. It seemed that was coming to pass.

"Are they mean to you or just not very inclusive?" Beth nodded, indicating the latter. "It's only been a couple months. I know it's hard, but Amelia has been friends with those girls for many years. They see you as a threat. As difficult as it is, you have to try not to push. If Amelia likes them, they are most likely nice girls. It will just take some time. I know that's hard though. Is there anyone that is nicer than the others?"

"Sasha makes more of an effort to include me than the other girls. She at least talks to me," Beth mumbled.

"Then, that's where you start. Remember to be a friend. Seek her out to sit next to or stand in line with. Ask her about things she likes. Part of their issue is that they think you are going to come in and steal Amelia away from them. Show the girls that you want their friendship too. And, most importantly, it takes time. You and Amelia became friends quickly because you both were in need of a friend. It's not the same situation now. They don't need friends, so it will take awhile to break into the group."

"It's hard to be on the outside," Beth said. Elizabeth nodded her understanding. She'd been feeling the same way much of her two years at the CIA. She didn't make those initial connections and now she was working just as hard as Beth to try and cultivate those friendships now.

"It is hard, and it will go one of two ways. Your hard work will either be rewarded or you'll have lots of practice for the next phase of your life." Beth wrinkled her nose at Elizabeth.

"That has to be the most unhelpful thing you've ever said to me. How's that supposed to help me feel better?"

"It's not. It's life. Sometimes you work really hard at something and it works out well and sometimes you work really hard and it's a waste of your time. You don't really know ahead of time which way it will go. But you always have to put the effort in because it could be so worth it." Beth shrugged. "So what else is bothering you?"

"Since you've been so inspiring on this topic, I'm not sure I can handle your thoughts on the next." Beth rolled her eyes.

"I could blow smoke up your ass and then you could be mad when life's not all happy and rosy." Elizabeth shrugged. "Would that be better?"

Beth gasped, "Language. My tender ears." She stuck her fingers in her ears and pretended to be appalled. It was Elizabeth's turn to roll her eyes, but she looked at Beth expectantly. Beth's eyes lost their sparkle. "Did you ever get over losing your mom?"

Elizabeth thought about that. "No. Well, I can't answer the ever, but it's been almost ten years and I'm not over it yet." She put her hand on Beth's shoulder. "Are you missing your mom?"

Beth made a face and let out a sharp laugh. "Not exactly. I always wanted something from her that she was never able to give. But I have that with someone else and it feels like-like maybe-that I'm betraying the idea of what she was supposed to be. I feel guilty and that makes me mad. Even when she's dead, she's still making me feel bad about myself."

Elizabeth pulled the teen close and hugged her. "You never did read the letter your mom left, did you?"

Beth shook her head. "I don't want to know what she has to say."

"I think you might want to go ahead and read it. It will help you let go of some things."

"You've read it?" Beth gave her an accusatory stare. "Have you read all my letters?"

"Only the one from your mom. We wanted to make sure it would be appropriate for you to read right away, that it wasn't too mature."

"And?" Beth asked.

"It was fine, but you didn't want to read it, so it's in the box with Grandma Ann's letters. I think it's time though."

"But I don't care what she has to say." Beth sulked.

"Obviously you do care or going on about your business wouldn't bother you."

Beth sat quietly for a long time, mulling that over. "Is it okay if I go get it?" Beth finally asked.

"Sure." Beth disappeared into Elizabeth's room and Elizabeth looked up at the clock. It was already after ten. She couldn't see this taking less than an hour, and the buzz she'd brought home with her had worn off. "Definitely not sleeping tonight," she murmured, downing all of her barely warm tea.

Beth reappeared holding the folded piece of paper. She sat on the edge of the couch near Elizabeth. Beth studied her name written in script across the front of the envelope. "Mom had nice handwriting."

"I think it looks a lot like Grandma Ann's," Elizabeth said. Beth nodded and just held the letter. "I'm going to make myself a bowl of ice cream. Do you want one?" Beth shook her head and Elizabeth patted her knee before rising and leaving her on the couch to read her letter alone.

Beth watched Elizabeth go into the kitchen and she scooted back on the couch and criss-crossed her legs in front of her. Taking a deep breath, she opened the letter.

 _Beth,_

 _To say that you were unexpected should be no surprise to you. In fact, you were mostly grown before I even knew you existed. I'll chalk that up to me being young and dumb and having no idea what it felt like to be pregnant. Being strung out likely had something to do with it too._

 _I've made a lot of mistakes in my life, but I would say that my biggest was not being clean while I was pregnant with you. My life choices caused you to have a rougher go of life than you should have had. As I understand it, there was a time when the doctors didn't think you would live at all, and if you did, your quality of life wouldn't be that great. I don't much believe in God for myself, but you are certainly surrounded by His grace. You are smart, beautiful, athletic, kind and loving to all. You are everything that I once was and lost somewhere along the way. You make me proud and I hope that you can achieve everything in life that you want to do._

 _I know that sometimes you probably don't feel very lucky, but I want you to know that you are. You are loved and you were born into the best family a kid could ever have. From the moment we knew you existed, you were loved. Because I am such a mess, Grandma and Grandpa took you without hesitation and raised you like their own. Erin and Shane love you like a sister instead of a niece. And then there's Henry. I don't think I could ever actually begin to tell you how lucky you are to have Henry._

 _I doubt that Henry had any idea when you were born that he would end up raising you. I wasn't there for the discussion, but I know that Henry stepped up and offered to take you without thinking twice. He's selfless like that. He's also smart, Godly and he takes care of those around him. One day, boys will start paying attention to you. Do not settle for just any guy that gives you the time of day. Measure all men against Henry. Use him as the standard and do not accept less. You deserve a man who loves you like Henry loves Elizabeth._

 _Elizabeth. There's a woman I hate. It's okay. We've already talked about it and she knows that I don't really hate her. I just don't think any person has been more jealous of someone than I am of Elizabeth. What's even worse is that she didn't do it purposefully, so I can't even hold that against her. I left a gaping hole where a mom should be and she just fell into it. That part may have been accidental, but even I can see that she was meant to be a mom. She's really good at it, and she loves you unconditionally._

 _You are at an age where you need someone that you can trust to talk to and be there for you. I've been pretty unreliable up to this point, so I think it time to finally cut the cord so to speak. You deserve someone who will be around all of the time and can help you navigate life. That's not me. I'm causing you more harm by hanging around that I would if I just left you alone. I don't want you to think that me going away means that I don't love you. It actually means the opposite. I love you so much that I don't want to mess up your life anymore than I already have. I've been selfish by trying to stay close enough to watch you grow up. You have Henry and Elizabeth and they make much better parents than I ever could, even though I always wanted so badly to be that person for you._

 _If she hasn't already, I hope one day Elizabeth sits you down and tells you about me. Maybe it will help you understand some of the reasons behind why I am the way I am._

 _You are the greatest thing that ever came from my life and I'm really sorry I didn't let you know that before now. In my own weird way, I thought I was doing you a favor by not letting you get attached to me. Maybe that worked and maybe it just made you hate me. I don't suppose I'll ever know the answer to that. I'll just put that with the long list of things I don't know._

 _I love you always and forever,_

 _M_

 _PS I went to the library one day and looked up the St. Rose lady. She was pretty cool. I did care and I was a jerk when I said I didn't._

Beth wiped the tears from her eyes, looked across the room where Elizabeth sat eating ice cream directly from the carton.

"Why do you eat ice cream with a fork? That's so weird," Beth commented.

Elizabeth shrugged. "The sides of a fork are flat, so I can scrape the sides of the carton better. I don't want to miss any."

Beth sat quietly for a long time and it was killing Elizabeth not to say something, but she started to squirm, her body looking for an acceptable way to release the tension. Beth looked up and grinned at her. "You're getting better at being patient, but I sure hope they never put you in charge of questioning anyone at work. You'd suck at it."

Elizabeth glared at Beth and it caused her to giggle. "You think that's funny?" She leapt up from the couch, crossed the space in two steps and pinned Beth to the couch and tickled her.

"Okay, okay. I give up. You win," Beth said breathlessly.

"That was just mean, to make me suffer like that," Elizabeth huffed and plopped down next to her on the couch.

"Perhaps, but I found it very entertaining." She laughed, and then quieted. "I didn't expect that. In the letter, I mean. I really thought it would be some sort of semi apology veiled in excuses and making it somehow my fault."

"If that's what it had been, Henry and I would have never let you know one existed. I know it's hard to believe, but your mom loved you very much and really did want the best for you. She really thought what she was doing was for the best, but you need to understand that she didn't think like you do, or like I do. The drugs and the trauma she lived with changed the way her brain worked. In her mind, the outcomes would be different, better. I know that isn't how it felt, but we can see a lot of things that make sense once we have a better understanding of where she was coming from." Beth leaned over and wrapped her arms around Elizabeth.

"She said that you and Henry were my parents." Elizabeth nodded. "Is that alright? I mean it seems like she just gave you that job and didn't even ask. Do you even want to do that?"

Elizabeth laughed. "I'm not sure what I've been doing for the past couple years."

Beth opened her mouth to protest, but then shut it and looked at Elizabeth. "You haven't done anything in the past couple years that you weren't doing the three years before that."

"I guess you are right, but I didn't think of it like that. I remember the exact moment I knew it was real. We were standing on the porch at Grandpa's when we got back from the hospital after you mom died and Grandpa said that he couldn't bear to tell you. Henry told him that he and I would do it since we were your parents. The weight of that was enormous."

"Because you didn't want it." Beth looked hurt.

"No. Not that. Just comprehending the responsibility. Your mom had told me things. Things that I was responsible for, to keep you safe and it was then that I realized that Henry and I were it. There was no rescue net, no fall back plan. That's a big deal. We aren't that much older than you and we're responsible for making sure you turn out to be a decent human being.

"You seem to be a fair job of it so far." Beth chewed on her bottom lip. "Will you tell me about her?' Elizabeth glanced up at the clock. It was just after midnight.

"What's going on at school tomorrow?" Elizabeth asked, thinking that it would already be difficult for Beth to get enough sleep anyway.

"I have a religion quiz and then there's a speaker coming in for "Say no to Drugs" week," Beth answered.

"Hmm, cough for me." Beth gave her a weird look and coughed a fake cough. "Yeah, you might be contagious. You should stay home tomorrow. Go get ready for bed. I'll come in and lay down with you and tell you the story." Beth nodded and headed toward her room.

"You know it's probably extra sinful to lie to the Catholic school about your kid being sick," Beth said, glancing over her shoulder.

"No more sinful than purposely sending them a Beth who has only had six hours of sleep," Elizabeth responded. Beth gave her a thumbs up before disappearing into her room. Elizabeth took a deep breath and steeled herself for what was sure to be a long talk with a lot of difficult questions.


	25. Chapter 25

AN: Sorry it's taken a bit to get this out. I hope it's worth the wait. I would love to hear what you think about the direction this is going. Reviews are very much appreciated.

Chapter 25

Elizabeth patiently waited for Beth to finish talking to Henry. It had become their Sunday evening ritual. Henry called and talked to Beth, then Elizabeth, then the girls drowned their emotions in ice cream and popcorn while watching a some sort of sappy romance movie on cable.

"Bye Henry. Love you." She waited for a few moments. "Here's Elizabeth."

Elizabeth took the receiver from Beth. "You go take a shower and then you can pick the movie. I'll scoop the ice cream." Beth nodded and headed in the direction of the bathroom. Elizabeth turned her attention to Henry. "Hey baby. How are you doing?"

"I'm alright. I miss you. I'm glad we get to talk. I love your voice but I miss holding you, but that's going to change, because guess who gets to come home next month?" Elizabeth could hear the excitement in Henry's voice The constant knot in her stomach doubled in size and she squeezed her eyes shut, letting out a shuddering breath. She couldn't keep Henry from hearing it on the other end. "Babe? Are you okay?"

"Did they tell you where you are going?" she asked softly, knowing the possibilities were few.

"Yeah. I'm going to the Middle East. A year at least, but probably more like fifteen months. I'll be okay. I promise." It pained him that she was struggling with him being gone and now this deployment.

"You can't make promises like that. I know too much. More than you do," she said softly, then she took a deep breath and changed direction. "But I can't dwell on that. How long is your leave before you deploy?"

"I think I get a month. Hopefully it will fall around Christmas and we can spend a little time in Pittsburgh," Henry said.

"Yeah. I hope that works out." Elizabeth twisted the phone cord around her finger.

"Elizabeth, are you okay?"

"We miss you so much and this is real. You're going somewhere that's dangerous. There are people who go over there that don't come home. I see the effects of us being over there every day Henry. I'm scared."

"I know. I pray every day that I can do this and come home to you and Beth. I really believe that if it's my time to go, I'll be going regardless of whether I'm sitting at home reading a book or I'm flying a fighter jet in a warzone. I'm going to be careful, I promise, but can we enjoy my time home first?"

"I'll try. I'll just be so thankful when these things aren't looming over us. I want to live in the moment, but I have a hard time balancing that with what I see every day at work. The 'now' gets drowned out by the 'what ifs.'"

They talked longer and much too quickly, Beth was out of the shower and camped out on the couch waiting for their movie night to begin. "I love you Henry. See you soon." She hung up the phone and fixed them each a bowl of ice cream before sitting down and starting the movie.

MSMSMSMSMS

"Is she asleep?" Henry asked as Elizabeth stepped into the bedroom and silently closed the door. She nodded and rounded the end of the bed and climbed in next to Henry, facing him. He cupped her cheek and kissed her softly. "I've missed us. I've missed this." He pulled her closer and traced his fingers down her spine, feeling her ribs against him. She shivered under his touch.

He stopped and looked into her eyes. "What?" she whispered. He saw the desperation and longing.

Henry shook his head. "Later," he said, lowering his lips to hers, kissing her passionately this time.

She rolled onto her back tugging him with her. "I need to feel you. Everywhere." He obliged, pinning her beneath him, offering a small prayer that these days together would be enough to get her through the days they would be apart.

Elizabeth slowly opened her eyes, letting them adjust to the sunlight coming in through the curtains. She thought last night had been a dream until she shifted and she felt the tenderness between her legs. Simultaneously the smell of sausage wafted in from the kitchen and she smiled. Henry was really home. Immediately the worry crept in and she shoved it back. "You have to live in the now." she murmured. She slipped from the bed and tugged a sweatshirt over her head, pulling her arms into it and grabbed the pajama pants from the chair where they'd been tossed the night before. Elizabeth stepped to the doorway and watched Henry working in the kitchen. "Good morning," she said, catching him from behind, wrapping her arms around his middle as he stood at the stove.

"Hey babe," he turned until she was far enough around his body to wrap his arm around her shoulders. "Good morning." He kissed her forehead as he continued to turn the sausage over.

"How long have you been up?" she asked.

He chuckled, "I have to report every morning at 6 am. I don't sleep in much anymore. I ran out to the store and picked up a few things. While I'm here, I'm going to cook for you." He handed her a plate of sausage, eggs, and toast. She looked at it and didn't think she could physically eat more than a few bites.

"Thank you," she said and kissed him before searching in the drawer for a fork. She sat at the bar and watched while he fixed his plate and pulled out the barstool next to hers. They sat silently for the next several minutes, Henry eating and Elizabeth pretending to, pushing the food around, taking a few bites here and there.

When Henry finished, Elizabeth stood to take both of their plates, but Henry put a hand on her arm. "You need to eat more," he said. Her eyes met his and he saw her desperate plea to leave it alone, but he knew he couldn't. "You've lost weight since I've been gone."

"Maybe," she replied.

"How much?" She dropped her eyes and shrugged. "Do you really not know or you just don't want to tell me?"

"Henry. I'm fine, okay. It's not a big deal. It's just a few pounds. Skinny women are prettier anyway right?" Elizabeth tried to blow it off, but Henry wasn't having any part of it. He took the plates away from her and set them on the bar.

"No, not really, and I'm not worried about other women. I'm worried about you." He put his finger under her chin and tilted her head up so he could look at her. "I've known you for quite a while. I know that when you get stressed out or tired, you don't eat. And I know that this season in our lives has been really hard, and that's my fault-"

"It's not your fault," she said interrupting him. "It's just what our life is."

"But," he cut her off, "It's my situation that puts all of the pressure on you. And that's not fair. However, I need you to take care of yourself. I don't think I can go halfway around the world and leave you, knowing that you are walking down this dangerous path." He pulled her close. "I love you so much. I don't want anything to happen to you."

"Nothing will happen to me. I promise,"

"Good," Henry kissed her cheek. "Now, would you please try to eat a little more?" He gave her his best sad puppy dog eyes.

She laughed, "Am I that annoying when I do that?"

"Pretty much." Henry said and slid the plate back in her direction. She sat down and he scooted his chair in behind her so she ended up sitting in between his legs. She took a bite and he pulled her hair to the side and placed open mouth kisses down from her hairline down to her sweatshirt.

She squirmed. "That tickles," she said. There was a muffled 'hmpf," from behind her before his hand slipped under her sweatshirt, his fingers splayed wide against her bare skin. "I'm supposed to be eating, remember?"

"I figured you could multi-task," he mumbled before sucking a spot on the back of her neck, his hands creeping up toward her breasts.

"Child approaching!" Beth announced as she walked into the living room, heading in the direction of the kitchen. Elizabeth giggled and Henry pulled his hand out from under her shirt and let it rest on her thigh, and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Way to downgrade that to G rated" she whispered. He chuckled, nudging her with his chest.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

Henry was surprised at how Beth had changed in the nearly nine months he'd been gone. Beth grew up. She wasn't a scrawny, squirmy little kid anymore. Beth was in 8th grade. She was smart, well spoken, a star softball player and most definitely a young woman.

She came out of her room Monday morning before school and it caught Henry off guard. It was the first time he'd seen her wearing something other than jeans or sweatpants and a loose fitting sweatshirt. Beth was wearing her uniform skort and a polo shirt. She was almost as tall as Elizabeth and had gotten much curvier. It made Henry uncomfortable. He didn't like the idea that boys would be looking at her like he knew boys would be looking at her. He suggested she wear a sweater and that was met with an eye roll. "It's hot in the classrooms, Henry. Nobody wears sweaters."

Henry retreated to the bedroom where Elizabeth was getting ready. "Have you seen what Beth is wearing?"

Elizabeth stuck her head out of their bathroom. "She isn't wearing her uniform?" Her forehead was wrinkled in confusion.

"I suppose she is, but it is getting too small or something," Henry responded, flustered. Elizabeth raised an eyebrow and stepped out so she could see Beth, then she turned to Henry.

"She looks fine Henry." Henry shifted uncomfortably and Elizabeth broke out a wide, knowing grin. "She looks exactly like she's supposed to. She's a woman and has pretty much all that entails."

"How did that happen?" he asked, which caused Elizabeth to burst out laughing, fueling Henry's dismay.

"It's been going on for a while now." She giggled, but when Henry gave her a stern look, she stopped. "But, in your defense, the boobs and the hips have jumped a couple levels since she started her period."

"Ugh. More things I don't want to know about." Henry ran his hands through his hair.

Elizabeth wrapped her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "You are lucky I got beamed in the face with a softball. Otherwise, you would be so screwed right now."

"It's not that I don't know all that stuff happens, but I still see a six year old. It's just hard to know that she's almost old enough to be dating and then there will be other _stuff_. Elizabeth, I am not ready for that." Henry's eyes were wide and Elizabeth just laughed.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

"Are you scared to go to war?" Beth's question caught Henry off guard. They were sitting at the ice cream parlor. Beth had been quiet the past few days and now Henry understood why.

"Not really scared. I've had a lot of training and I know what I'm doing.". He studied her, "But that being said, I've never been in that situation before, so I might feel differently when I get there. I'm more upset about being away from you and Elizabeth and my family for so long. Are you scared?"

"Yeah, a little. Because of all of the technology, laser guided missiles and all of that kind of stuff, fewer people are dying in this war than ever before, but people still die." She twisted a piece of hair around her finger. "Henry, tell me you won't die."

Henry took her hand. "I have no plans to die anytime soon, but you know full well that we don't control that."

She nodded. "I know. I just want you to be careful. I love you and it would just be really hard to put things back together if you didn't come back to us. I don't know that I could do it."

"Bethie. No matter what happens, everything will end up working out." The look she gave him said she knew he was lying, but was letting him off the hook.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

The month came and went all too quickly, and suddenly Elizabeth felt her emotions slipping as they cuddled together on the couch the evening before his departure. She catapulted herself off the couch leaving Beth and Henry wondering what was going on. After giving her a minute, Henry followed her into their bedroom and then found himself standing in front of the bathroom door knocking gently. "Elizabeth, are you alright?" He heard the water running followed by her blowing her nose and then she opened the door. "Aww, babe, come here." He held his arms open to her, but she stepped around him patting him on the chest as she went by.

"Nope. If I do that, I will completely lose it and that is not going to happen. 'Kay? 'Kay." She disappeared out of their room and headed to the kitchen to fix them all some ice cream. After the movie, Elizabeth disappeared into the bedroom, giving Henry some time to say goodbye to Beth. She didn't think she could be there with Beth without breaking down herself and that wasn't going to help the situation. She and Beth would have plenty of time to bond over missing Henry in the next year. She pulled her sweater off and unhooking her bra, pulled it off through the armhole of her t-shirt. Both were tossed in the direction of the laundry basket on the closet floor and her jeans were shed and left crumpled by the end of the bed. After washing her face and brushing her teeth, she climbed into bed and patiently waited for Henry to join her.

Henry finally came in and got ready for bed. He slipped between the sheets and Elizabeth rolled into him. "How is she?"

"She'll be fine. She's worried about you. And me, but mostly you."

"I'll be fine. I promise," she murmured.

He pushed a few strands of hair away from her face. "Fine might be a stretch, but you will persevere, because you are the strongest person I know." He slid his hand slowly over her ass and down the back of her thigh, grabbing her behind the knee and hooking her leg over his hip allowing him to slide his leg between hers.

Elizabeth tucked her arm around his back and pulled herself closer to him. Her lips brushed against his at first, the tips of their noses touching. He tilted his head and devoured her, until she pulled her head away gasping. "I love you," he whispered.

She moaned his name and pulled him on top of her, her hips grinding against his leg. "I love you." Her nails dug into the skin on his back, the pain heightening his senses. Henry took her unapologetically, ravaging her body, making her his. She clung to him and fell into an emotionally exhausted deep sleep.

He watched her all night long and prayed that the God she didn't believe in would keep them all safe and bring him back home to his family.

Elizabeth was pulled from sleep by his lips on her neck. As if drawn by a magnet, she moved closer, guiding his lips toward her mouth. She kissed him tenderly at first, but as she became fully awake, she remembered what today would bring and there was an underlying sense of urgency to be as close as possible. She deepened the kiss and her fingers were tangled in his hair holding his head so he couldn't move.

Henry's hand made a trail down her body first tracing her collarbone, then running his finger around her areola before teasing her nipple, skimming her stomach and landing just above where the ache was growing. The back of his hand ran along her inner thigh, his touch too gentle. "Touch me like you mean it," she mumbled against his lips. He immediately flipped his hand and massaged her inner thigh, his thumb pushing into the juncture of her hip and torso.

Elizabeth moaned softly and wrapped her hand around his penis pumping it to it's full erect state. "Oh God, please," he said. " _Please bring me home to her._ " The thought not voiced but understood by both. She rolled into him and threw her leg around his waist. Henry wasted no time slipping his hand between them, lining himself up and then pushing into her in one fluid motion. They groaned at being connected.

Henry started a slow rhythm, trying to commit every action, every feeling to memory. Elizabeth squirmed her arm under him, wrapping both around his back, holding Henry close. As the pressure built, the sadness he'd been holding at arm's length gave way. The thought of being half a world away from his family, the people he loved the most was heartbreaking. He faltered, one emotion taking over the other.

Elizabeth pushed into him and he rolled onto his back taking her with him. She kissed him and pushed herself up, planting her hands on his chest. She slid up and down his length before swiveling her hips. Henry took hold of her hips to assist. She looked down into Henry's eyes and she saw all of the saw everything she felt herself-the love, fear, worry, and despair knowing they would be apart for so long. She picked up her pace and she climaxed when Henry reached down to stroke her clit. He stiffened beneath her as well. She collapsed on top of him and he rolled them on their side. She ran her thumb along his cheek, wiping his tears away. "Henry McCord. I love you. You better not die on me."

"Roger that," he whispered and they fell asleep in each other's arms, knowing that in a few short hours, their lives would forever be changed.


	26. Chapter 26

AN: I know I said I was going to do a back and forth between this and Evolution, but after the last chapter, I just sort of fell into this and wanted to keep the momentum going. I hope you don't mind.

Chapter 26

Elizabeth was buried in an unending pile of Arabic phone conversations that needed translating, looking for clues to the whereabouts of the latest individual she had identified as a potential informant. She jumped when the phone rang. It took her a few seconds to collect herself. "Middle East desk, McCord… Hey, George. What do you need?... Who's Dalton?... Oh. That Dalton… I'll be right up." She hung up the phone. "Shit!" she muttered under her breath.

"What's going on Bess?" asked Karla, the lady that sat at the desk next to hers.

"I just got summoned to Assistant Director Dalton's office." Elizabeth looked weary and concerned, both were things she didn't want to be by the time to made it to her destination.

"What did you do?" Karla asked.

"I have no idea, but I guess I'm about to find out." Elizabeth walked out of the office and stepped into the elevator. Once on the fifth floor, she made her way quickly to the ladies' room to do a quick check of her appearance. "Nothing a little concealer won't fix," she mumbled, pulling the tube along with a compact of powder from her pocket. She dabbed it under her eyes, mostly camouflaging the dark circles that seemed to take up permanent residence there.

Elizabeth stared at her reflection, not really recognizing the person staring back at her. At least the woman in the mirror, looked mostly put together. She tucked her blouse neatly into her skirt, fluffed her hair a bit and headed toward the Assistant Director's office. She didn't even have the chance to sit down and wait, when Dalton was at the door.

"Bess, come on in," he said, holding the door open. "Please, have a seat." Elizabeth sat down in the chair opposite his desk and he surprised her by taking the chair beside hers and turning it to face her. "So, I bet you are wondering why I asked to see you." She expected Mr. Dalton to go ahead and tell her, but he didn't. He just stopped and studied her.

Finally, realizing he expected an answer, she said, "I am curious, Mr. Dalton."

"Call me Conrad. Anyway, I've noticed that you keep to yourself." Elizabeth said nothing. Her first concern was that the Assistant Director of the CIA noticed her at all, not to mention her interoffice relationships, or lack thereof. The knot in her stomach growing by the second as she wondered what direction this could possibly go that would be good. He just looked at her. Beth was right, she really needed to work on her "waiting people out" skills. The silence was getting to her.

"Is there something work related that we need to discuss?" He raised his eyebrows as if challenging her question. "I am not sure that my lack of close friendships with my co-workers impedes my ability to do the job I've been assigned."

"It does not, but it does explain how we didn't know that your husband has been deployed for more than 6 months in the region to which you are assigned." Elizabeth looked at him blankly. "Normally we hear these things through the grapevine. This morning I received a memo stating that one 1st Lieutenant Henry Patrick McCord is stationed out of Baghdad and has been since January 14th."

"That is true, but I don't follow," Elizabeth said.

"You're being pulled from the Middle East desk until your husband has returned from his deployment." Elizabeth's dismay was evident.

"Mr. Dalton, I don't-" she started.

"Conrad," he interrupted.

"Fine. Conrad." She stressed the individual syllables of his name a little too much. "I don't think Henry being deployed has in any way hindered my job performance. Furthermore-"

"Bess, stop! This isn't about your performance at all. You do impeccable work. You are one of our top analysts. No one could possibly argue about the quality of the work you do." She looked at him expectantly. "This is about your mental well being. You do not need to know everything that goes on in a place when your husband is sitting in the middle of it."

"I'm fine. You don't need to pull me." There was a hint of pleading in Elizabeth's voice that she did not like, yet couldn't quite manage to remove it completely when she spoke.

"You do not get a say in this. You are being moved. Today. Now, that isn't the real reason I had you come up here. Your supervisor could have told you that you were moving divisions. I actually wanted to talk to you about something else." Elizabeth's mind was reeling. The thought of not knowing what was going on would be a million times worse than knowing. Still, Conrad had more to say and she needed to focus.

He continued on, seemingly unaware of her struggle to stay composed. She hoped that meant she was covering well enough that it didn't look like she was about to fall apart. "You are one of the best we have. I'm putting together a group of elite analysts that will study worldwide trends and connections between various organizations. You will be on the East Africa desk. Your job is to collect necessary data and take it to the other analysts. As a group, you will learn about all of the major players and look for patterns. This group will be the go to for the director."

"Thank you. I appreciate the offer very much, but I'd really like to stay where I am for the time being." Elizabeth put all of her mental energy into keeping her voice steady.

Conrad's face softened. He looked at her and carefully appraised the situation. She hoped that meant he was considering her request. "Bess, when was the last time you were able to sleep straight through the night?"

"I'm not going to sleep until Henry comes home," she said, using a tone of indignance that once voiced, she hoped didn't sound insubordinate.

"That wasn't the question," he replied, seemingly oblivious to her angst.

"It's been awhile," she said, somewhat defeated.

"You may think it helps you to know everything, but I'm telling you it does not. Ignorance is bliss Bess. This isn't a request. It's a directive. Are we clear?"

"Yes sir," she answered.

"Good. Now, if you want, you can move your things. The advisory council will be in Room 523, but you also have a desk on the third floor. You'll have to check in Johann to see where that is. You'll split your time between both. You start on Monday. If you want, once you move in, you can take the rest of the day off.

"Thank you sir," she said. She shook his hand and left the room. She let the door fall shut behind her and let out the breath she'd been holding since she got the call. On one hand she knew she should be happy, but she headed back downstairs feeling bereft instead.

Elizabeth took the fourth batch of popcorn into the living room and handed it to Beth. It had taken Beth a long time, but she finally won over most of Amelia's friend group. That's how she ended up with four girls on her living room floor chatting, giggling, painting nails and eating copious amounts of popcorn. Elizabeth ran her hand through her hair. She would've rather had a quiet Friday night, but Beth deserved this. Beth was so ecstatic about her friendships that Elizabeth wouldn't deny her this, even if it wasn't her ideal evening, especially after the news of her being moved.

Elizabeth was in the kitchen cleaning up when she overheard the question. Sasha asked, "So, Beth, is Elizabeth your sister?"

Elizabeth heard the exasperated sigh and knew that Beth was rolling her eyes. She took a bit of comfort knowing that she rolled her eyes at other people too. There was a part of her that felt guilty for listening in, but the larger part wanted to know how she would answer the question in light of everything she now knew about Maureen.

"Technically, she's my aunt because she's married to my uncle. But really, she's my mom. She just didn't give birth to me."

"Then where's your real mom?" Jenni wanted to know.

"First, a real mom is the person that's there for you all of the time. Elizabeth is my real mom. My first mom is dead," Beth stated matter of factly. Elizabeth stood on the other side of the wall with her hand covering her mouth. She'd been around when Beth hadn't bothered to correct people, but she'd never actually heard Beth refer to her as mom. Elizabeth was a little taken aback by it. She knew she'd taken on that role long ago, but even now, after all these years, it still seemed surreal to be referred to as that.

"Oh no. I'm so sorry. Was she sick?" Sasha asked.

"Cut it out guys. It isn't your business." Amelia stepped in. She knew the story, because she was around when Maureen died and then Beth had told her about the talk Elizabeth and she had several months ago. Amelia wasn't sure that Beth would want to share it.

"It's okay. It's part of who I am. It isn't the greatest story, but there isn't much I can do about it." Beth looked back over at Sasha. "My mom was addicted to drugs and overdosed about three years ago. She was really young when she got pregnant and I was basically abandoned because she wasn't in any shape to actually take care of me. My grandparents raised me and then when I was seven, my grandma got cancer and they couldn't take care of me anymore, so my Uncle Henry took me to college with him, we met Elizabeth and here we are."

Sasha looked stricken. "I'm sorry Beth. That really stinks. Did you even know your mom or did you just know about her?"

"I saw her quite a bit, but most of the time she didn't try to get along with me. She had a lot of things going on in her head that made her act awful. I used to be really mad and hurt about how she acted, but now I know that if she could've helped it, she wouldn't have chosen to act the way she did.

Elizabeth stood just inside the doorway, out of sight, wondering if she should step in, if the conversation was getting too heavy. She stopped herself. Beth had only ever had Amelia as a close friend. She was 14. It was time she had girlfriends to share serious stuff with. Elizabeth was ripped from her thoughts by the next question. It came from Sarah. She had moved in the spring and Beth immediately befriended her and brought her to the group. Sarah seemed like a sweet girl and had been noticeably quiet most of the evening. "Did your mom start taking drugs at parties? That's what happened to my older brother."

"Sarah, I'm so sorry about your brother. Is he better now?" Elizabeth didn't hear the muffled answer, but she assumed by the response of the other girls that it wasn't good.

After a few minutes, and redirection, Beth answered the question. "My mom was at a friend's house at a sleepover and her dad put drugs in their drinks so they would be out of it and he could," she paused for a moment, choosing her words, "touch them." The silence that followed was eerie and Elizabeth closed her eyes, and held her breath for the response, knowing that she had turned down invitations to sleepovers from each of the girls other than Amelia.

"So you wouldn't come to my birthday sleepover because you thought my dad would molest you?" Jenni asked, her tone was full on accusatory. Elizabeth rounded the kitchen corner to shut that down and was stopped when Beth started in.

"No. I didn't go to your sleepover because I knew that I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself. I'd be thinking about my mom and the things she went through and the things she made my family go through because of the actions on one sick jerk. I don't think your dad is going to molest me, or is anyone else's dad for that matter, but I'm pretty sure that my grandparents didn't think that one of their close friends would molest their daughter either. Sometimes bad shit just happens."

Jenni opened her mouth like she was going to argue, but Sarah cut her off, "It's the same reason I didn't go to Cassie's end of school party last month. In my head, I knew that no one would be smoking pot or doing lines of coke in the bedroom. I just couldn't get past the thoughts of my brother and how he didn't know what would happen because of his one stupid decision. I knew that's all I would be thinking about, so I didn't go."

Elizabeth had edged her way to the opposite side of the room. Changing her direction, she pretended she was coming from the bedroom. "Are you girls ready for a movie yet?" she asked brightly. The girls quickly shifted back to their chatty selves and put in a movie, and Elizabeth hoped that the conversation would end up bonding them together rather than dividing them at some point.

The rest of the sleepover went off without a hitch and Elizabeth fed the girls donuts and delivered them to their respective homes by mid morning. Back at home, they cleaned up a bit and settled in to take a nap, both curled up in Elizabeth's bed. "How do you think it went?" Elizabeth asked. "Everyone seemed to have a good time."

"I think so. I did, and I'm glad that Sarah got to come. She doesn't do much outside of school and I learned why." Elizabeth waited for her answer. "Her brother has a drug problem and because it started at a party with friends. Her parents are really careful about what she can and can't do. They want to protect her."

"That's a hard line for a parent to walk." After Maureen's death, Henry and Elizabeth discussed what to do about Beth and sleepovers in light of Maureen's plea and Beth's opposition to discussing anything Maureen related. They had finally decided to let Beth go to sleepovers if she wanted and they would ask a lot of very pointed questions and be vigilant about watching her behavior. As it turned out, Amelia was the only one that had invited her over. Both Henry and Elizabeth felt pretty confident that she was having a good experience there, although Elizabeth always subjected Beth to the litany of questions when she came home. Once Beth learned about Maureen, she became much more discriminatory turning down every invitation to sleepover. She did attend a couple of birthday parties, but left before the sleepover started. Beth never elaborated as to why, but Elizabeth never pushed either. Hearing Beth talk about it with the girls, both relieved Elizabeth and made her feel a little guilty for not really asking her to talk about it.

I'm glad she was able to come." Elizabeth stopped and looked at the young woman who was curled up facing her and she was suddenly overcome with emotion. "Beth, I'm proud of you for being such a good friend. I know it took a long time to feel part of Amelia's group, but I'm glad that you are still friendly to those that aren't in that group. It's a remarkable quality to be accepting and inclusive of all people, not just your handful of friends. I hope you always remember to do that." Elizabeth leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I love you very much. I've been kind of wrapped up in my own stuff for a while now, but I want you to know how important you are to me and that I wouldn't be able to do this without you."

"We're going to make it. You know that right? It's hard, but we're going to do it. I didn't even realize what Henry being deployed would actually be like, but it's so much harder than I thought it would be. I just miss him a lot. It's weird because he's been gone a lot, but it's worse now because I know he's someplace dangerous. He could be hurt, or-worse." Beth squeezed her eyes shut trying to get rid of the thought.

"Henry would be the first to tell you that bad things can happen anywhere. And that he's actually in just as much danger at home as he is in Iraq," Elizabeth said.

"And I would still believe that Henry's full of crap," Beth said, straight faced. Elizabeth couldn't help but laugh and Beth joined her.

"But we love him anyway," Elizabeth said, and Beth agreed wholeheartedly.


	27. Chapter 27

AN: I'm going to apologize up front for the angstiness (I don't think that's a real word, but it should be). I'll try to get another chapter to you soon to make up for it. In the meantime, feel free to review and let me know what you think, and thanks to those that do take the time to review. I appreciate it.

Chapter 27

Elizabeth tossed her purse in the lower drawer of her desk and plopped down in the seat. There were a handful of memos on her desk which she read through quickly and set about the day's tasks. Mid morning, she was in the middle of a brief and ran across a name in her reading and bolted upright. She stood and quickly made her way down the hall, sticking her head through a doorway. "Hey, Jerry. Do you mind if I ask you a couple questions?"

When she emerged fifteen minutes later, she headed directly to the fifth floor. When she walked into the Global Task Force office, only Andrew and George were there. "Are Isabelle and Juliet on their way up?" When both shrugged, Elizabeth sighed and picked up the phone. Within a few minutes, the women walked in.

"What's going on Bess?" Isabelle asked. Elizabeth showed them the brief and told them what her colleague on the Africa desk had found out. "Guys?" Isabelle said, "Get over here and look at this." The five members of the Global Task Force gathered around the table.

"Remember the other day, we had the guy that we couldn't identify that met with the group of arms dealers in Yemen we've been watching. I just ID'd him. His name is Ahmed Ajani." George looked unimpressed and Andrew looked confused, so Elizabeth continued. "Ahmed Ajani is the son of Ajani Ibo."

"The Ethiopian warlord that has been working his way up the ranks in the Somali army?" Andrew asked.

"That's the one," Bess answered. "So, now we have to find out what they're up to."

"Just for fun. I'm going to throw out the fact that Carlos Suarez, my Colombian drug kingpin, was in UAE last week as well." George said, putting a blue dot on the laminated map that was spread out before them. "Seems like we have a lot of big players in one area in a short amount of time."

The team worked together to make a list of things that needed answers and broke for lunch, with the plan of heading back to their own regional areas to try to find their pieces of the puzzle. "Are we getting lunch?" Juliet asked as she walked out of the building with Elizabeth and Isabelle..

"I can't today. I'm getting things finished up for Beth's birthday party tonight," Elizabeth said. The talk continued as the three walked to the car. Elizabeth stopped at her car and the other two walked on. She waved as she got in to do her last minute errands. Elizabeth thought about the last eight months. As much as Elizabeth didn't want to admit it, she felt better at work since switching desks. She enjoyed learning about East Africa and while she felt the pull to know what was going on in the Middle East, not knowing wasn't as bad as she thought it would be.

She really enjoyed the new task force that Conrad had put her on. She had quickly become friends with Isabelle and Juliet. Having people that she could lean on made a huge difference in Elizabeth's mental state. Juliet and Isabelle were both a year younger than Elizabeth, but transferring to the new group, forced all of them out of their comfort zone. The five worked closely together, but the three women immediately became inseparable. Elizabeth didn't share much about her private life, but just having people around to chat with made her feel less lonely.

The biggest difference was with Beth. When Elizabeth wasn't as wrapped up in her own self pity, Beth was a different kid. She was happier, being as moody as a teen should be, but not insolent. Elizabeth saw the change and felt extremely guilty that Beth took on her emotions. She vowed to try and do better.

Beth had started high school in the fall. She was on the fall soccer team, which had been a whirlwind for both of them. Beth hadn't played soccer since she was ten, but was recruited when the coach watched her play a pick up game with a few of her friends. There was a learning curve there, but it meant a lot of new friends and places to go. It was a new experience for both of them. When Elizabeth was around this age, she played field hockey because it would look good on her college applications. She was more of a bench sitter than a star player, but it had been fun. When her parents died, she quit most activities. Elizabeth spent the majority of her high school years keeping to herself, with only a handful of friends that she mostly spent time debating. Now, both were thrust into the middle of a well developed social structure that they both had to learn to navigate.

So it was, at 25, Elizabeth added soccer mom to her list of things that most people her age were not. She'd been at the softball field with Beth since she was 8, but she found that each sport had its own set of social norms and she worked to fit in for Beth's sake. Although she didn't say anything, she was thankful that Beth wanted to keep her party small and only invite her best friends. Elizabeth wasn't sure she could handle having everyone around. Henry's deployment would soon be coming to an end and she just really wanted to focus on making it to that point with minimal drama.

At the end of the day, Elizabeth very carefully set the cake in the floorboard on the passenger side of the car. Getting in behind the wheel, she went through her checklist to make sure she hadn't forgotten anything. They were having the party at the Martin's house. Unfortunately Henry wouldn't be able to be there, but he was coming home soon. He'd be back in two weeks. Beth originally wanted to wait until Henry came home, but Elizabeth convinced her that it would be better to just go ahead in case Henry had to stay longer. It seemed that nothing was a done deal with the military until it actually happened.

Quickly finishing the last of her errands, Elizabeth headed to the Martin's house. When she pulled up, she was surprised to see Patrick's truck and Shane's car in front of the house. She was barely out of the car when Shane and Erin bounded down the front steps and met her. "Need help?" Erin asked.

"What are you guys doing here?" Elizabeth asked, unable to keep the shock out of her voice.

"Well, if you don't want us here-" Shane said, feigning annoyance.

"That's not what I meant," she said, giving him a hug. "I just didn't know Beth had talked to you about her party. She told me that we'd do something in Pittsburgh when Henry came home. I thought this was just for her friends." Elizabeth smiled. She was happy that Beth would have her family with her. Elizabeth knew how Beth had missed Henry and maybe that would help soothe that hurt.

Carrying the cake and other extra items into the house, Erin spoke. "Beth doesn't know we're here. She told me all about her party, but then just sort of left it open ended. We wanted to be here for her, so I called Heather and she invited us to join. She thought it would be a fun surprise. But, just because we are here today doesn't mean that you guys aren't still expected to come and see us in a couple weeks when Henry gets back."

Elizabeth hugged Erin. "I'm sure she will be thrilled." Patrick came into the room with Heather and Shane's girlfriend, Maria. Heather let them know that the girls were arriving soon. Tom had picked up the girls from school and was on his way to the house. Patrick and Shane went out to move the cars down the street while Erin and Maria helped Elizabeth set out the cake and arrange the presents on the table.

The guys made it back into the house just before Tom pulled into the driveway. Amelia had Beth by the hand, dragging her up the sidewalk with Jenni, Sasha and Sarah tagging along behind. The girls bounded into the house and Beth gave Elizabeth a big hug. "Happy birthday Beth. You have a surprise." She let go of her and turned her so that she could see the McCord clan on the opposite side of the room.

"Grandpa!" she cried out, giving Patrick a big hug and then Shane, Maria and Erin as well. "I can't believe you guys came all the way here for my party." Tears filled Beth's eyes. "I'm so happy you are here."

Patrick wrapped his arm around Beth's shoulders. "We wouldn't miss this for the world. Although we all know there's probably only one thing that would make this party better than it is."

Beth looked up at him with a sad, teary smile. "Yeah, but it's okay. That's going to happen soon."

"Maybe a little sooner than soon baby girl." Patrick said, "What do you think about now?" Patrick spun Beth toward the hallway and Henry was leaning against the wall.

Beth was so caught off guard and overwhelmed that she fell to her knees sobbing. Elizabeth, who had stepped into the kitchen, heard the commotion and came back out, rushing to Beth's side. "Beth, what's wrong?"

Beth clung to Elizabeth, nearly knocking her over in the process and continued sobbing, saying, "It's over."

"What's over?" Elizabeth looked up at Patrick, hoping he had some answers. Patrick gestured toward the hall. Elizabeth looked over her shoulder just in time to catch sight of Henry as he hauled them both to their feet and wrapped his arms around them. The girls cheered and the adults did their best not to break down as Elizabeth and Beth completely fell apart in Henry's arms.

Thirty minutes later, Henry sat on the couch with Elizabeth on one side and Beth on the other. Beth's friends all sat nearby on the floor giving the actual seats in the living room to the adults. "You planned this?" Elizabeth murmured.

Henry nodded. "A little of it. Once I knew I was going to make it home in time for the party, I knew I wanted to surprise you both."

Beth turned to him. "When did you get back?"

"I flew into Pittsburgh last night. I spent the night and rode down with Dad," Henry said.

"That's why you brought two vehicles. I wondered why you just wouldn't all come in Erin's car." Elizabeth said and Patrick grinned.

Beth cut her cake, opened her presents, and hung out with her friends, even though she really just wanted to be close to Henry. At the end of the evening, the McCords were on their way back to Pittsburgh with promises of a visit in the coming weeks, Beth's friends were picked up, and the Martins were thanked. Henry, Elizabeth, and Beth found themselves heading home to be together for the first time in fourteen months.

MSMSMSMSMSMSMS

Elizabeth slumped over her desk and buried her head in her hands. She'd been at work over an hour and she was still upset about what had happened that morning. Juliet stuck her head in the office door. "Are you coming? Wait. What's wrong?"

Elizabeth rubbed her forehead. "Nothing. I'm fine." She looked up at Juliet. "Let's go."

They walked down the hall side by side. Standing in awkward silence in front of the elevator, Juliet shifted uneasily. The doors slid open and the pair of women stepped inside. Juliet spoke, "I know you think that you are above letting people in, but talking to someone might help."

Elizabeth gave Juliet the side eye and bit her lip. Her emotions changed from anger and irritation to embarrassment. She managed to hold the tears at bay and muttered, "Yeah," before exiting the elevator. The team spent the rest of the day focused on their tasks and at 5 pm, she gathered her things while the rest of the group looked at her in utter confusion. "Sorry, I can't stay. I have stuff to do. See you tomorrow."

Elizabeth walked into the apartment, half expecting to be greeted by the smells of dinner, but there was nothing. Beth wouldn't be home from softball practice for another hour. She wondered if maybe Henry had gone to watch practice, then she heard noises coming from the bedroom. She dropped her stuff on the couch and went to see what Henry was doing. Approaching the doorway, she saw what he was doing and the bottom dropped out of her stomach. Henry was bent over his suitcase arranging his things. "What are you doing?" She could hear herself, but the voice didn't seem to come from her.

Henry whipped around to face her. "I didn't think you'd be home this soon."

"Obviously." She wanted so badly to keep her voice even and the tears tucked away, but she couldn't control it. "Are you leaving?"

"I'm going to Pittsburgh to stay for a while. I'm not needed here anyway." The hurt Henry felt resonated in his words and sliced through Elizabeth.

"I said I was sorry. I said I didn't mean it." Elizabeth went back to the argument they'd had that morning. It was probably the tenth in as many days. Henry had been home nearly three months and each day they seemed to grow further apart. Elizabeth would concede that much of it was her fault. She'd spent the better part of the last four years in survival mode. Henry wasn't there. She couldn't count on him. She and Beth had needed to figure out how to be independent from him and lean on each other.

They were really good at it. Henry felt like they were so good in fact that now there didn't seem to be a place for him. He always felt like he was in their way, that he was inconveniencing them. On one hand, Henry got it. He was proud of Elizabeth and Beth for being able to make it on their own, but time and time again he found himself shut out of everything. When Elizabeth had muttered under her breath, "it was easier when you were gone," that was the last straw. She hadn't even fully said the last word and the apology came tumbling out of her mouth. She had said she didn't mean it, but Henry thought what she really meant was that she didn't mean to say it out loud.

Henry made the trip from dresser to suitcase a few more times before he deemed it full enough and zipped it and stepped into the bathroom. Elizabeth remained rooted to the spot in the doorway. She wanted to go to him and make him see, convince him that she could never live without him, but she couldn't move or breathe or even blink. She watched him move back and forth, putting his life in the suitcase that he was going to carry away-from them. When he went to the bathroom, she followed. He had his back to her digging a few things out of the vanity drawer. "Don't do this Henry. Please."

He stopped but didn't turn around. "I can't stay right now Elizabeth. I need to get some stuff figured out and so do you." He grabbed his toothpaste and toothbrush from the top drawer.

The devastation she felt couldn't even be put into words, but the anger had lots of words. "You lied," she choked out. He spun around, his mouth hanging open. "You said that we'd just have to fall in love all over again. That you'd never give up on us." She narrowed her eyes. "For four years, I've held our lives together through sheer will. I may not have done the best job, but I did the best I could and damned near every night I cried myself to sleep hoping you would come home to me. We've both been through a lot. But that's no reason to walk out. The stuff we need to work on we should be working on together."

"I can't. Not right now," he said, stepping around her. He dropped his toiletries into his backpack and grabbed his suitcase heading toward the door.

Elizabeth followed him. "What the hell am I supposed to tell Beth?" Henry stood with the apartment door open.

Henry shrugged. "Since it's easier when I'm gone, I'm sure you'll come up with something." He pulled the door shut behind him.

"Fuck you," she screamed. Her knees buckled and she fell to the floor sobbing.


	28. Chapter 28

AN: Thank you so much for the reviews. Angst must bring everyone out of the woodwork. I'd like to promise everything will be rosy, but in this fic, much like life, it doesn't always work out that way (at least not in one chapter).

Chapter 28

Henry hadn't been gone very long when Beth came flying through the door. "Oh my gosh, I have to study for finals and I'm all sweaty. I need to shower. What's for dinner?" She dropped her things and headed straight for the bathroom, seemingly unaware that Elizabeth sat against the chair on the floor in the middle of the living room.

When Elizabeth heard Beth turn the shower on, she scraped herself up off the floor and went into their bathroom. Henry's half of the counter was empty, and tears threatened to fall again. "No dammit. You will not fall apart. You have come too far and been through too much. You will stand tall and weather this storm," she mumbled to herself when she stood before the mirror. She looked at her blotchy and tear stained face and sighed. "I should see if this shit comes in a vat," she muttered under her breath, eyeing the tube of concealer laying on the vanity. She washed her face and tried to put herself back together.

Elizabeth was reapplying concealer when Beth knocked at the bathroom door. "Just a sec. Be right out." Elizabeth quickly finished and steeled herself for what needed to be done.

Beth was in the kitchen warming up leftovers. "Did we decide to just ditch dinner?" Beth said, her back still to Elizabeth, but hearing her enter the kitchen.

"Sorry, some stuff came up. Listen, can I tell you something?"

"Sure," Beth pulled to bowl from the microwave and turned around. She barely glanced at Elizabeth, but could feel her tension. "What's wrong?"

"Uh, Henry went to visit Grandpa. He doesn't exactly know when he'll be back." Elizabeth was fairly proud of the even tone she used. She didn't think she sounded as crushed as she felt. Looking up she saw that her attempt at lightly tossing it out there wasn't received as well as she had hoped."

"Henry did what?" Beth asked, furrowing her brow just like Maureen would. Elizabeth was caught off guard and the corner of her mouth pulled up into a slight smile. "What's that for?" Beth wanted to know.

"You look like your mom when you do that eyebrow thing."

Beth became indignant. "Don't say that. I don't want to be like her at all. Besides, she isn't my mom, you are."

"I didn't mean anything bad by it. I shouldn't have said it. I won't say it again.." Elizabeth was off kilter. She didn't want to rock the boat. She couldn't have Beth angry at her right now. Scattered thoughts tumbled around in Elizabeth's head.

"Earth to Elizabeth!" Beth called out, smacking the counter in front of her for emphasis. Elizabeth blinked and saw Beth watching her carefully. Elizabeth tried to come up with something to say, but no words would form. "Did Henry really just go see Grandpa?" Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, to try and make up some plausible story that would pacify Beth and spare her from the reality of their situation. "Or did he leave us?" Beth's words cut into her. She would've bet that if she looked down at her heart, there would be blood. It hurt her so badly. All she could do was nod and watch Beth's eyes go dark.

It was well after midnight when Henry pulled up in front of the house in Pittsburgh. Usually the porchlight was left on, but not this night. The house was dark, almost eerie and certainly not welcoming. Henry had taken the long way, driving back roads, taking his time, pondering his problems. For four years, he waited for the chance to be back with this family, getting only snippets here and there. Now, he was back and it was as if he were throwing a wrench in their finely tuned machine. They wanted the idea of him, but not really him. It hurt and Elizabeth's words sent him down a hole that he didn't feel able to climb out of.

There was a rapping on the window, Henry jumped at the sound, ripped from a light doze. His dad was looking down on him in the faint morning light. "Henry, what the hell are you doing?"

Henry rubbed his hand roughly over his face, trying to rouse himself and he climbed out of the car. "Uh," Henry tried to collect his thoughts. He hadn't slept much and he hadn't really taken the time to figure out what he was going to tell his family. "I needed a break. I thought I'd come visit for a while."

Patrick narrowed his eyes, "I'm on my way to work. Take today as your break and we'll talk when I get home. Since you're here not doing anything, you can cook dinner tonight." He turned and hopped in his truck and was gone. Henry exhaled thinking that maybe showing up here wasn't as good an idea as he thought. He grabbed his suitcase and backpack out of the back of the car and slogged up the front walk to the house.

Elizabeth woke Beth and drove her to school before taking herself to work. Work was the absolute last thing she wanted to do, but the thought of sitting in the empty apartment lamenting the choices she'd made sounded worse. She sat at her 5th floor desk, pouring over various memos. She'd read the same sentence at least ten times and had no idea what it said. Isabelle started to walk into the room and saw Elizabeth. She backed out and bumped into Juliet in the hallway. "It's time to stage an intervention. Bess looks like shit. Something big is going on," Isabelle said.

Juliet shrugged. "I tried yesterday, but it was a no go. She's tight lipped for sure."

"Well, she's going to explode if she doesn't talk to someone," Isabelle said.

"How are you going to make her talk when she doesn't want to?" Juliet seemed skeptical

"I say we get her drunk and see what happens." Isabelle grinned at Juliet. "Even if she doesn't talk, we might have a decent time." They walked into the office. "Bess. Got any big plans for tonight?"

"Going home. Why?" Her voice was tired and strained. Elizabeth felt like she'd used up all of her energy just to get to work and pretend to be productive. There was nothing left to placate Isabelle and Juliet.

"We're going to take you out." Juliet said, brightly.

"Not interested, thanks." Elizabeth leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes, willing them to just go away and leave her alone.

"It wasn't offered as an option." Isabelle said, "Sometimes being a good friend is knowing what someone needs even if they don't want to admit it.

"And what is it that I need?" Elizabeth said, leaning forward in her chair, her voice on edge. Isabelle and Juliet looked at each other, and Isabelle spoke.

"Bess," she said in a much kinder tone than she usually had, "You are a mess and you have been for a while. We want you to give you the chance to talk about it. You need to get some of your crap out in the open so we can support you, or cry with you, or kick someone's ass for you. Whatever. It doesn't matter. You seem unable to grasp what friendship is. That's what friends do."

She pinched the bridge of her nose. "Fine, but I'm not going out. I'm going home and putting on comfy clothes. You can come over if you want. Beth will be home at 8."

"I think that will give us plenty of time." Juliet said and Isabelle agreed.

Elizabeth said in a tired voice. "Can you leave me alone now?"

On her lunch hour, Elizabeth made a single copy and wrote a note on the back. She slipped the paper into an envelope and then drove to the post office to pay for registered mail postage. She got back in the car, swallowed the lump in her throat and forced herself to drive back to work for the rest of the day.

It was just before 6 when there was a rap on Elizabeth's apartment door. She trudged to the door wondering why in the hell it was that she agreed to this invasion of her life. She didn't like everyone knowing too much of her business. If she kept to herself, the pain was contained. When her parents died, everyone knew and everyone gave her the sad eyes and the sympathetic looks, and the pointless words of comfort. She rolled her eyes. She couldn't get away from it. She was viewed through the lens of someone broken, damaged, and somehow less. She hated that. It took a fair amount of time to let Henry in all the way, and that was mostly because of Beth, but look where that had gotten her.

Elizabeth let out a shaky breath and opened the door. She stepped back and let them in. "We come bearing Chinese take out and wine and tequila." Juliet emptied her arms by dropping everything on the table and Isabelle shed her coat and went rummaging in the kitchen for plates and glasses.

An hour later, the take out boxes were empty, as were two of the bottles of wine. Elizabeth sat cross legged on the couch. She only meant to give a brief overview of what happened, but as the wine went in, the story started tumbling out, everything from her parents' death to loving Beth, then falling in love with Henry, how hard Henry being gone was, the deployment and ultimately the fight that made him leave her.

Juliet and Isabelle just listened, saddened by her story, but mostly in awe. Elizabeth had a lot on her plate, and although she sometimes looked a little weary, no one in the company would have any idea the stress that she carried on a daily basis.

The two hugged Elizabeth and told her that they would always be around to listen if she needed someone to talk to and then they turned their focus other lighter topics, trying to lighten the mood. They finished the third bottle of wine and because of lack of sleep and not enough food, the wine hit Elizabeth hard. It wasn't a hard sell when Isabelle suggested doing shots. By the time the Beth walked in at 8, Elizabeth was curled up on the couch laughing hysterically with Isabelle and Juliet joining in. In all honesty, they had no idea what they were even laughing about, but the scene made Beth irate.

Beth stared down at Elizabeth over the back of the couch. "What in the hell are you doing?"

"Beth, hi baby. I'm getting drunk," Elizabeth slurred, "and I'm having a good time. This is Isabelle and Juliet."

"Henry just left you, left me, and you decide to go and get drunk and have a grand old time. You aren't any better than he is." She pushed off the couch and stomped off to her room, slamming the door.

"No, no, no. That's not it." Elizabeth pushed herself up off the couch, and staggered toward Beth's room. Isabelle caught her by the arm. Elizabeth shot Isabelle a desperate look. "I have to go talk to her. She needs to understand." Tears filled Elizabeth's eyes, "I won't be able hold it together if Beth hates me too. I just won't. I can't. She's all I have right now."

Isabelle said, "Let me talk to Beth. I'll explain it to her. I'll make it okay. I promise." She walked Elizabeth back to the couch and sat her down, leaning her into the pillows, where she immediately closed her eyes, the tears sliding down her cheeks. Juliet moved to clean up the trash from the coffee table and Isabelle made her way to Beth's door. She knocked softly.

"Yeah?" Beth answered, her voice full of contempt.

Isabelle opened the door. "Mind if I talk to you for a minute?" she asked.

"Elizabeth's too drunk to come issue a lecture, so she sent a minion to do it?" Beth crossed her arms in front of her, her lips forming both a pout and a scowl.

"I'm pretty sure she was coming in here to beg your forgiveness. I stopped her so I could issue the lecture. Well, actually, I'd like to think of it as offering an alternate perspective." Isabelle stopped to appraise Beth. The teen didn't automatically shut her down, which she saw as a good thing. Isabelle hoped her interrogation skills could be useful in other situations. She was fairly good at reading people.

'So, I'm supposed to be falling all over myself to be accepting of my current situation?" Beth asked.

"What is your current situation?" Isabelle asked, and then she gestured to the bed. "Mind if I sit down?" Beth scooted her legs over a bit to make room for Isabelle.

"My situation sucks. Henry is the only dad I've ever had. Elizabeth and I just lived through 4 years of hell. It was constant stress and this last year when he was deployed was just a year of fear. Every time the news reported that someone had died over there, I wondered if it was Henry that died. Every time there was a knock at the door or an unfamiliar car in the parking lot, I wondered if it was going to be someone telling us that they were sorry but he was killed. Then Henry comes home and the stress is still there, it's just different. He's jumpy and standoffish and gets irritated at everything I do, everything Elizabeth does. We try to hang back and give him space, then he thinks we don't want him around. So, instead of trying to fix things, he just left. He's gone. And now, the one I've come to put all of my faith in is in there," Beth wildly flung her hand toward the living room, "Well, she's in there getting drunk and having a great time, like she was just waiting for Henry to leave." Beth buried her face in her knees as she held them to her chest and cried.

Isabelle studied Beth for a minute before she spoke. "How much does Bess talk about work?"

Beth looked up and sighed like she'd just been asked the dumbest question in the world. "She doesn't because she can't. It's all classified." Beth shrugged. "What's your point?"

"She can't talk about the investigations and that stuff, but she could talk about the people she works with or who she ate lunch with or the time Andrew went to sit down and missed the chair and fell on his ass and we teased him about it forever. Does she talk about that stuff?" Beth shook her head. "Do you know what I knew about Bess before tonight?" Beth just looked at her. "I knew you existed only because she mentioned that she had to leave work to get your birthday cake. I didn't even know that until, what, three months ago and I certainly didn't know how old you were. How old are you by the way?"

"I'm 15." Beth answered,some of the edge absent in her voice this time.

"And I knew she had a husband and that he was deployed. The only reason that any of us knew that is because Bess got pulled off of the Middle East desk. For six months she knew everything that was going on where Henry was stationed because no one even knew she was married. You think you had it rough watching the news? Multiply that by 20 and you might be getting close to how Bess must have felt. My point is this, for all that time, she's been responsible for a lot and has had no outlet for that stress. Juliet and I have been watching her get worse for the past month and today was the worst yet. We tried to convince her to go out with us but she wouldn't. She wanted to be here when you got home. So we brought the alcohol and we got her drunk enough that she could talk. She's cried all night long. I promise you she wasn't having a good time. She finally just got drunk enough that she forgot for a little while. Please don't be mad at her. I guarantee that if she had her way, she would have been sitting here trying to hold it all together for herself and you too. If you are mad that she got drunk, blame Juliet and I."

"You stay and clean up her puke, because it was your idea." Beth eyed Isabelle.

"Fine. Go and tell her you're okay, or at least okay about this little snafu. She needs to hear it from you because she won't believe me."

"What's a snafu?" Beth asked.

Isabelle replied, "Situation Normal-All-" she stopped, and let out a breath. The kid was 15, surely she'd heard the f word before. "Fucked Up." It's a Marine thing."

"There's large of my life that is snafu all of the time." Isabelle grinned, but then went straight faced because she realized that Beth wasn't being funny at all. "For the record, I'm not mad, I'm scared. If Henry leaves Elizabeth, my whole damn life falls apart. I'm technically still a foster kid. They split and they're deemed unstable, I'm in foster care. So, not only do I lose the people I love the most, but I end up God only knows where. I can't afford for Elizabeth to travel down this road. My mom already did and she's dead."

"Elizabeth McCord is the most stable person I know and most likely this is a one time thing pushed on her in a moment of weakness. Your concern though it duly noted and I'll make sure it doesn't happen on my end, okay? Beth pushed herself off the bed and Isabelle squeezed her shoulder. "Thank you for being more adult than most of the adults I'm around." Beth gave her a sad smile and headed out to talk to Elizabeth.

Henry milled around his childhood home. It had been a long time since he'd been alone in the house. What used to feel cozy and homey now felt cold and empty. He knew it wasn't really the house though, it was him. He stood in front of the fireplace and picked up a picture of himself, Elizabeth, and Beth. It was a candid shot that Erin took in the middle of their "official" McCord family photo session. Erin had insisted they have professional photos taken before Henry deployed, so they were all wearing outfits that Henry thought were too matchy-matchy, but Elizabeth insisted they coordinated, not matched. The photographer had the three of them arranged just so for the shot, but Beth simultaneously tickled them both and they had collapsed on top of each other giggling uncontrollably and Erin snapped the photo he held. Henry remembered the joy and the dread he felt in that exact moment. He loved Elizabeth and Beth so much. Both of their faces were lit up and they were beautiful. At the same time, he didn't know if he would come home. He just wanted to spare them the pain of losing him. A rueful laugh gurgled in the back of his throat. He made it home and was causing them both just as much pain as if he didn't. He rubbed his thumb over Elizabeth's face and then Beth's. He wished he knew how to fix what was broken. He set the picture back on the mantle and went to the kitchen to get a beer.

By the time Patrick arrived home from work, Henry was passed out with a collection of bottles littering the floor around him. Patrick sighed. He'd known when he saw the car parked in front of the house that something bad had happened. Knowing that Henry wasn't much more than a social drinker, never having seen him having more than two beers ever, Patrick decided that this must be even worse than he thought. He threw a blanket on Henry and brought the trash can in to collect the bottles.

Elizabeth squinted against the sunlight coming in through the bedroom window. Her eyes involuntarily squeezed shut fighting to calm the pounding in her head. "Hey sleepyhead," Beth said softly. "I'm letting you know that Isabelle is taking me to school. Here. Take this." Beth pressed two Tylenol into her hand. Elizabeth put them in her mouth and then she took the cup of water Beth offered her. "Isabelle said it would help and I made you breakfast. It's in the microwave. I'll see you tonight."

Elizabeth grabbed Beth's hand. "I'm sorry. I really am." Tears formed at the edge of her eyes.

"Evidently you don't remember the part where we took care of this. It's fine. And I made Isabelle taking care of your puking self, so we're fine. I promise. I gotta go though."

Elizabeth fought the wave of nausea that rolled through her. "I love you Beth."

"I love you too."

Henry lurched forward, catapulting himself off the couch. He was completely disoriented but managed to find his way to the bathroom in the nick of time. He clutched the rim of the bowl, violently expelling the contents of his second binge. When he woke around midnight, he threw up and then not being able to be alone with his thoughts, he'd downed the rest of the beer before finding the scotch. Now he rested his head on the toilet wondering if his head could actually split open. He stayed there a long time. When he finally thought that he could stand without being sick again, he shed his clothes and got into the shower.

Half an hour later, Henry stood in the middle of his bedroom and dressed. Everything looked so foreign to him. His room had essentially been the same since he was twelve and today, in this moment, he was a stranger here. Henry was a stranger in his own life. Reaching in the front pocket of his suitcase, looking for a comb, his hand grasped a piece of paper. He pulled it out and the sinking feeling that had been with him since he walked out on his wife and daughter, now took over completely and he crumpled to the bed, the envelope with the words ""When you marry Elizabeth" written across the front still in his hand.

Finally, Henry pulled himself together to the point that he could reread the words his mother had penned so many years ago, before he even knew for sure that Elizabeth was the one. And now, he wondered if that was even still the case.

He read the letter through tear filled eyes.

 _Without a doubt, there will be hard times. Be compassionate and know that Elizabeth always feels things more deeply than what she shows. Make sure you watch and listen to her. Love her deeply and even more so when you're going through a difficult time._

"I don't know how to fix it. Mom, tell me what I need to do to fix this." Henry curled into a ball on his bed and fell asleep. Hours passed and the knock on the bedroom door pulled him from his fitful slumber.

"Henry. There's someone at the door for you." When Henry opened the door, Shane stood there shifting his weight uneasily. "The postman has a registered letter for you and only you can sign for it. What's going on?"

"Surely she wouldn't have. Not after one day," he mumbled, brushing past Shane and going to the door. "Please not divorce papers," he prayed before opening the door and signing for the letter. He held the letter in his hand. It felt light. Hopefully not divorce papers. Henry thought that would surely be a thick envelope.

"Are you alright Henry?" Shane asked from the bottom of the stairs.

"Not really." Henry slid his finger under the flap. And pulled the paper out. It had writing on both sides. Opening it fully, he saw that one side was in his mother's writing and the other was Elizabeth's. He chose to read Elizabeth's first.

 _Henry, my love,_

 _While you were away, this letter from your Mom always brought me so much comfort because I believed that no matter what it looked like when you came home, we would figure out a way to make it work, to get back to where we once were._

 _If haven't been working hard enough to make sure that happens. I want to change that, but I can't do it on my own. We need to fix this together. Please come back to me. I love you and want you home._

 _Love,_

 _E_

Henry ran his fingers over the spots on the paper where the ink was slightly blurred and the paper underneath crinkled. He knew she'd been crying when she wrote it and that broke his heart a little more.

He flipped the letter over and found the last paragraph circled. He read through it for the first time, and was once again amazed by his mother's ability to know just what to say and when someone needed to hear it. He reread the circled paragraph.

 _It's necessary to remember that marriage isn't something that you just do one day. It's active and takes effort. Romance and infatuation are short lived. Love takes time and it's hard work. You'll have times where you are so close and then others where the distance (both physical and emotional) is painful. Work through it. Go back to what was good and work from there. Make the sacrifice and love like tomorrow may never come._

 _Love always,_

 _Ann_

Henry went to the phone. Seeing Shane out of the corner of his eye, he looked up at his brother. "Better than you thought?" Shane asked.

"It's not as bad as it should've been," Henry said as he picked up the phone and dialed home.


	29. Chapter 29

AN: Thank you for all of the positive reviews. Your kind words mean so much to me.

Chapter 29

It was late in the afternoon and Elizabeth's headache had finally subsided to the point that she showered and headed to the kitchen. Checking the microwave, she saw that Beth made her eggs and toast, but since point of safe consumption had long since passed, she scraped her breakfast off into the trash and pulled a couple waffles out of the freezer.

She was eating her waffles and drinking a cup of coffee, praying her stomach wouldn't rebel, when the phone rang. She moved to get it. "Hello?"

"Hi," Henry answered. Hearing his voice, her breath seemed to be sucked from her body. When she didn't answer, he continued on, not sure what he was supposed to do. "I'm sorry I walked out the other night. I got your letter, and I want to talk."

"Okay," she whispered. She sat down on the edge of the recliner. On the other end, he pulled the phone off the table and sat down with it in his lap.

"Elizabeth, I don't fit in my life anymore. It's like everyone and everything moved on without me. You and Beth have grown and changed, but you've done it together. I'm like the third wheel."

"I get it and we haven't done a very good job of trying to include you, but you do recognize that you've changed too, right? You are not the same person as you were before Iraq. We need to try to meet where we're at now, not where we were before you left." She twisted the phone cord around her fingers.

"Yeah," he sighed. It wasn't something that he wanted to admit, but this trip to Pittsburgh had made him realize that he had indeed changed. "Would it be alright if I came home tomorrow? I haven't really got to talk to my dad yet."

"I'd like that. Listen, I just want to let you know that Beth didn't take this whole thing well and there will be fallout from that. I don't know how it will be with her when you come home."

Henry sighed. In his haste, he hadn't given a lot of thought to how Beth would take things. "I don't suppose there is any chance you would talk to her?"

"I will tell her that you are coming back. You of all people know how vulnerable Beth would be to someone up and leaving her. So, no, I won't be doing anything more than I've already done, which is try to say as little as possible. That one is on you to fix." There was a part of Elizabeth that thought she might be being petty, but the bigger part of her wanted Henry to own his mistake. She was still very much hurt and didn't really want to bail his ass out.

"Alright. Would you at least tell her that I'm sorry?" Henry hadn't expected the response he got from Elizabeth and he wasn't sure what to make of it, but he knew better than to take issue with it.

"I will do that. I'm going to work tomorrow, so I won't be off until 6 or so. Beth only has a half day of school tomorrow, so she will be home around noon. You might be able make some headway by taking her out to lunch."

"Thanks. I want you to know I'm sorry that I let it get to the point that I walked out. I should've said something earlier. I should've been trying harder." There was silence on the other end of the line. "Elizabeth?"

"Henry." He heard her take a deep breath on the other end. "I love you so much, but you need to understand that my biggest fear was realized when you walked out. You may not have meant it like that, but that's exactly how I took it. I think Beth feels much the same way. This is bigger than an apology. I mean, I'm glad that you are sorry, but I don't think you realize the damage you did. It's going to take time to forgive and even longer to forget. I desperately want you back, but before you return you need to know where you stand, and the real work that it's going to take to fix this."

Henry let out a slow breath. Hearing Elizabeth's words tore his heart into pieces. In the heat of the moment, he couldn't see past his own hurt feelings, but now, looking at it from Elizabeth's, and Beth's, point of view, he understood what she was saying. "I didn't mean to hurt you like that. Or Beth."

"I know. But you did. It wasn't without provocation, but the outcome is the same." She paused a few moments. "Are you still coming home?"

"I'll be home tomorrow before Beth gets home from school. I'll see you tomorrow night?"

"Yeah, before 7."

"I'll make dinner and we can talk," Henry offered.

"Okay. And maybe take a walk?" Elizabeth added.

"I think that's a good idea. I love you."

"Is love enough?" she whispered.

"It is if we love like tomorrow will never come. I will make this up to you and we will get through this."

"See you tomorrow night," she murmured and hung up the phone.

Henry put the receiver into the cradle and set the phone on the end table. He buried his head in his hands and for at least the hundredth time that day wondered why he thought it was a good idea to leave. Henry looked up at the clock. Patrick would be home soon. Since Henry didn't get dinner cooked last night, he thought he might make the effort now. By the time Patrick walked in the door, Henry had made spaghetti and was just pulling the meatballs out of the oven. Patrick surveyed the young man. "You're looking a little better today."

"Yeah, sorry about yesterday," Henry said, keeping his back turned away from his father.

"You did look pretty sorry, I'd say. You ready to talk about it?" he asked.

Henry handed him a plate and stepped out of the kitchen and called Shane down. He thanked Henry and ate quickly. "I hope you don't mind if I take out early. I'm taking Amy to the movies."

"I'm heading out pretty early tomorrow, so I may not see you." Henry stood and gave Shane a hug.

"Hope it all works out," Shane said softly. Henry nodded solemnly. "See ya."

"Bye Shane." Henry sat back down at the table and he and his father ate in silence.

Finally, Patrick put his fork down. "So what brings you here, randomly in the middle of the week, by yourself and leads you to drink yourself into oblivion?"

"Dad," Henry sighed.

"Don't Dad me," Patrick said. "What happened?"

"I got pissed, okay?" Patrick just looked at him as if to say _SO_ and it exasperated Henry. "You don't understand. I was gone and life went on without me and now I'm back and I don't fit anywhere. I thought that I could think things through here, but I don't fit here either. I feel out of place everywhere."

"And you're the only person ever to feel left out?" Patrick said. Henry felt the patronizing edge to his father's words.

"No, but I'm not living other people's lives. I'm living mine," he argued.

"Hey, defensive guy, don't cop some big attitude. I was going to say that you're sitting in the middle of DC. Surely there are veterans' organizations that have people who can help. Hell, our union local has a guy on staff to help vets adjust back to civilian life. They are all over the place. Sure didn't have that for the guys in Vietnam. They just had to come back and make do. Some made the adjustment and some didn't. Sad stuff that is."

"I shouldn't have walked out." Henry sighed.

"No, you shouldn't have. Beth is pissed." Patrick commented.

"How do you know that?" Henry asked.

"She called me late last night to talk. Of all the things you could've done Henry, you picked walking out on them and you didn't even tell Beth goodbye?"

"Don't start. I know. It was bad. It is bad. Elizabeth wants me to come home." Henry stared at his hands folded in his lap unable to look his father in the eye.

"Of course she does. She loves you."

"I don't know how to fix this Dad." Henry looked up, tears in his eyes. "I don't know what I'll do if I lose them."

"I don't really know son. This isn't a flowers and chocolate kind of mess up. I'd say at the very least there will be lots of begging and groveling. Then over attentive Henry comes to live with them, maybe forever, and you never make another dumbass mistake like that again. Maybe that will work, maybe not. I don't know. I'd offer you a beer and we could sit on the porch, but I noticed, we don't have any and I'm really doubting that you're up for a beer right now anyway."

"No, not really. I think I'm going to go to bed and think for a while. I need to get up early anyway and I didn't get much actual rest last night. I'll see you in the morning." Henry took his dishes and put them in the dishwasher and headed upstairs.

The next morning he was up at daybreak and said goodbye to his dad as Patrick left for work. Henry ran to the store to replace all of the alcohol he'd consumed on his binge. Once that was taken care of, he loaded up the car, putting both letters in the glove box and headed back to DC, to Elizabeth and Beth.

Henry sat outside and waited for Beth to come out of school. Eventually she came walking out with her friends. He remembered Amelia, but couldn't remember the name of the other girl. Sandra, maybe? He wasn't sure. It was another reminder of how he hadn't been around.

He stepped out of the car and leaned against the door frame. "Hey Beth," he called out. Beth looked up and met his eyes and they darkened. The scowl that crossed her face was Maureen made over and Beth might have even ramped it up a notch.

She stopped and faced him. "Elizabeth said you were coming back to grace us with your presence."

Her words hurt, but he said nothing. She wasn't the wide-eyed nine year old Beth that lived on the farm anymore. She wasn't going to easily forgive and he knew words were her weapon. She had a direct link to Maureen. He wasn't going to engage that, at least not yet. "I came to see if I could take you to lunch."

"I have plans," she said and turned to walk off, but Amelia and the other girl each took an elbow and ushered her to the car.

"She'd be happy to have lunch with you Mr. McCord. Sarah and I have to go home anyway," Amelia had said.

Her name is Sarah. Henry needed to remember that.

"Bitches," Beth muttered under her breath.

Sarah leaned in to Beth. "Bitches who have your back. Now go eat lunch and work on fixing your shit." Beth gave her a shove and Sarah grinned at her. Beth opened the car door and flopped down in the passenger seat.

Henry got in and looked at her. "You're lucky to have good friends."

"Yeah, they really help out when you come home one night and half of your family has ditched you and the other half falls apart." She pressed her head to the window.

"Beth, listen, I made a terrible decision. I just needed to get away for a bit and figure things out. I'm sorry. I should've handled it differently. I'm sorry that I hurt you. That was never my intention."

"And Elizabeth? It wasn't your intention to hurt her?" Beth spat.

Henry looked at her, his mouth hanging open. He was going to argue that it wasn't, but he went back to the night he left. He saw the pain in Elizabeth's eyes, and heard her begging him to stay. He remembered the smug satisfaction he felt when he slammed the door thinking she finally hurt the way he was hurting. He let out a ragged breath, his eyes closed the tears fighting for release against the back of his eyelids. When he thought he had regained some control of his emotions, he started the car and pulled away from the curb.

Their lunch conversation was stilted and awkward. He watched Beth eat and how she kept her gaze anywhere but on him. "I wish I could go back a few days ago and do things differently." Her eyes shifted to him and then quickly away. She said nothing. Henry finally got up the nerve to ask the question that had been tumbling around in his head. "People get mad and walk out to cool off all of the time. Why did you immediately think I had left for good?"

Beth moved her head just the slightest, and she her eyes moved to focus on him. Henry felt a little squeamish having her eye him in that manner. God, she was Maureen's kid. "Henry McCord doesn't do things on a whim. He thinks through all of his actions. If you walked out, it was because you'd thought about it-you'd been thinking about it for a while. You made the conscious decision to leave your wife, to leave me. You knew it would destroy her. Destroying her would destroy me." Confusion flooded Henry's face and Beth was more than irritated that he was being so dense. "In case you've forgotten, I'm a foster kid. You two are my parents. You leave, she falls apart. I guarantee if my case worker had shown up anytime in the past few days, she would've questioned the stability of my home life. I get pulled out to live God only knows where. For what? Why Henry?"

"I would never let that happen," he said. "I promise."

"Those words mean less than they used to," she said. The silence hung heavy in the air. "You didn't answer my question." He looked at her. "Why?" she prompted.

"I was angry and hurt that you and Elizabeth are this team and I just seemed to be in the way. I wasn't part of the family anymore. At every turn, I seemed to be pushed farther away, and finally I figured that if I wasn't wanted, I should just leave. Maybe you'd figure out that you did want me around, or I guess maybe that you didn't. I don't know." Henry was very uncomfortable. This didn't seem like something he should be talking about with Beth, but then again, she was in the middle of it and had asked.

Beth shocked Henry with the boisterous laugh. It was almost maniacal. "What?" Henry was bordering on being infuriated at her response.

"You've got to be kidding! I got yelled at because the cereal bowls weren't in the right spot. They were three inches to the left of the where you thought they should be. I've been chastised because the towels aren't folded right or because I don't sort the mail correctly. It was to the point where Elizabeth and I were both walking on eggshells trying not to piss you off. Yeah, I kept my distance because I got tired of being the object of your anger. It was easier when you just weren't around rather than being around and hating us. I keep wondering what happened over there that made you so damned controlling about shit that doesn't matter, so much so that you didn't even see that you were destroying the stuff that does matter." She gathered up her food wrappers and tossed them on the tray. "I'll be in the car." She slid out of the booth, taking the keys with her.

Henry sat stunned. He didn't see any of the things that Beth was talking about. He did know that he often felt on edge and was perhaps more easily annoyed. He'd yelled more while driving in the past three months than he probably had his entire life. He didn't think that it had transferred to his home though. Had he really been like that? It hurt him to think he had. Finally standing, Henry dumped their tray and headed to the car.

Sitting behind the wheel, Henry looked over at Beth. She had her body turned away from him. "Beth, why didn't you tell me?"

Her eyes went wide. "Because after I'd just been chewed out for not realizing my sock didn't make it in the hamper and landed in front of it, I have no idea why I didn't think to call you on your behavior. You were so rational. I'm not sure why I wouldn't want to sit down and tell you that you were acting like a fu-" she stopped herself. "Like you were crazy." Turning back toward the window, she spoke, her voice cracking, "Elizabeth said we needed to give you time. I didn't know all of the stuff you'd been through, the things you'd seen. She said it would be hard to adjust. Life here at home isn't the same. We needed to try not to take it personally." Henry could tell that Beth's emotions had switched from hurt to anger and he steeled himself to ride the wave. He deserved her wrath and he knew it. "Elizabeth stood up for you. Every time you cut her down over something so completely ridiculous and stupid, she never said one negative word about you. She took it in stride even though I know how badly you hurt her sometimes. Then she lets one comment slip and she fell all over herself apologizing and you walk out, because your feelings are hurt. Really? I'm done. I can't even be around you right now." Beth bailed out of the car and disappeared into the restaurant.

Henry wanted to follow her, but he knew better. He watched the exits to make sure she didn't leave figuring that she'd calm down in a bit and come back out to the car. About fifteen minutes later, he was surprised to see her walk out and climb into a car. He started to get out and stop her, but realized it was Heather Martin. Amelia was in the back and immediately pulled Beth into a hug. He didn't think Heather saw him, but then he wasn't sure if he wanted her to or not. He didn't know what she knew and suddenly he was ashamed.

He went home and called Elizabeth at work. She said that Beth had called her and asked permission and that she was spending the night at the Martins. Henry was about to argue that Beth didn't need to spend the night, that she had a home, but Elizabeth followed it with, "There are things that we probably need to discuss that Beth doesn't need to be around for."

"Alright," Henry acquiesced. He hung up and went to lay down in their bed. He pulled her pillow to his face and inhaled her scent. How could he have been so oblivious to everything that was going on? How could he be so self centered? What if Beth never forgave him? He felt the all too familiar feeling of annoyance rise up in him. The difference was that this time, he called it what it was. It was anger. It wasn't just an irritation. It wasn't someone else's fault. It was a problem, and it was his problem. He looked at his watch-it read 2pm. He rolled off the bed and headed out the door.

As the clock drew nearer to 6, the knot in Elizabeth's stomach grew. She'd taken an unprecedented break 20 minutes after returning from lunch to talk to Beth. Hearing the story, she knew that she and Henry were going to get it all out in the open. Elizabeth wasn't sure she was ready for that, but perhaps she should thank Beth, If Beth hadn't ripped off the band-aid, Elizabeth knew she would probably tiptoe around the gaping wound, just like she'd be doing for three months. Henry had called only a few minutes after Beth and seemed like he was ready for a fight, but he backed down quickly when Elizabeth pointed out that Beth's absence was probably for the best. She'd dreaded going home all afternoon, but now as the time inched closer, she became ansty, just wanting to get it over with. She held out as long as she could, but finally cleaned off her desk at 5:30. Juliet and Isabelle both gave her looks. "Bess?" Juliet asked.

"Henry came home today. I'm going home and try to put my marriage back together." Both women stood and each took a hand.

"We'll be here if you need us," Juliet said.

"Do you want me to take Beth out to dinner? She and I, we have a thing," Isabelle said.

"Thanks, but she's spending the night with a friend." Elizabeth was starting to get teary-eyed. She smiled. "Thank you. Really. I don't do sharing very well, but it's nice to know you have my back." She gave each a hug.

"Always," Isabelle replied, but I can't get you drunk anymore. I promised Beth, so we'll just have to settle for eating ice cream or something." Elizabeth nodded, although she didn't really hoped her beloved ice cream wouldn't become a coping mechanism.

Elizabeth walked into the apartment around 6:15, much earlier than Henry had planned. He was going to order her favorite Chinese take out, but hadn't yet, thinking she would be closer to 7. He jumped up off the couch as she entered. "Hi," he said. He really wanted to take her into his arms and hold her, but wasn't sure if he should or if she would be accepting of that.

She appraised him from the doorway. He looked uncomfortable, the opposite of the confident Henry that she off to war. She knew what had happened, at least before she got pulled off the Middle East desk. She knew what he'd seen, what he'd been a part of. Elizabeth knew that it would affect someone as compassionate as Henry. She hadn't been prepared for how it would manifest itself. The sharp retorts, the belittling comments, the undercurrent of anger that seemed to be everpresent.

Elizabeth had never said anything. She hoped time would make it better, and it had to a certain degree, but she didn't think about how the reaction she and Beth had, would affect Henry. Now they were in this vicious cycle of avoidance and exclusion. That needed to stop, but she would have to address the problem, and that was a problem.

"Hi," she said, stepping inside and closing the door. She hung up her purse and put her lunch bag on the counter to be dealt with later. She fought the urge to fall into his arms and cling to him, thankful he'd returned. She feared that if she did, he would think that everything was somehow fine and that was definitely not the message she wanted to give. There were things that needed to be fixed and she needed to send that message. She reached out and took his hand. "I missed you. I'm glad you came home."

"I love you so much. I missed you too." They stared at each other and shifted uncomfortably, unsure what to say. "Umm, I was getting ready to order Chinese. Is there something special you would like?"

"Oh, uh, could we have something else? I spent hours throwing up Chinese the other night. I think my stomach would rebel at the smell. How about the café on the corner? They have good salads."

"Sure. Order to go or eat there? Did you have get hold of bad noodles?" he asked, genuinely concerned.

"To go, but we can walk together to pick it up. More like copious amounts of wine with some tequila shots on top."

Henry scrunched up his face. "Ew. I bet you didn't feel very good the next morning.". She shook her head. "Not that it will make you feel better, but I was more than hungover myself yesterday. In fact, I had to go replenish Dad's stash before I left this morning."

"Looks like we both had a case of poor judgement. Let's go ahead and order our food."

Half an hour passed. Elizabeth changed out of her suit and into shorts and a tee-shirt and they took out walking to the little café a few blocks away. They didn't speak, mostly because the things they needed to talk about weren't things that one hashed out on a city sidewalk. Still, Elizabeth wanted Henry to know she was in this for the long haul. She slipped her hand into his and squeezed it.

Henry looked into Elizabeth's eyes and saw love and worry, but not anger. He thought that was a good sign. She should be angry and he knew she had been, but she was putting it aside, at least for now. Although he knew her well enough to know that she would probably let it go. She was a better person than he was.

They collected their food and walked back hand in hand. There were still no words and the silence that surrounded them now was anxious. The time was nearing when they would have to have a serious talk. No one knew exactly what the outcome would be. Henry's time with Beth had been enlightening, but not in a good way. For the first time, Henry understood how his actions affected his wife and daughter. It pained him greatly, but all he could do was apologize and make amends. That was exactly what he planned to do.

As they sat down, Henry decided to start. "I don't know how much Beth told you about our talk today."

"When she called, she was really upset. She just said that she needed a break and wanted to know if she could call to see if she could stay with Amelia. I only know generalities of what the two of you talked about." Elizabeth said.

"She told me about how I've been acting and how I've hurt her and I've hurt you." Henry watched Elizabeth's reaction. Her eyes became a dull gray. She seemed to be steeling herself for what was to come. She sat there unmoving, ready to take the onslaught, whatever it may be. "I swear to God, Elizabeth, I didn't see it. I didn't realize the things that were going on in my head were coming out and affecting you. I'm so sorry I hurt you."

"You went through a lot. You saw a lot. You were bound to need some time to adjust. I think we're at a point though, where it's time to consider some outside help." Elizabeth held her breath, hoping that Henry wouldn't be opposed.

"You don't know what I saw. I tried to keep it locked away, but it keeps leaking out. After Beth went with the Martins, I came home and thought about things. I don't want to lose Beth or you. I went to the VA this afternoon and saw someone to talk about what's going on in my head. I want to fix this, but it will take time. Will you stay while I work on it?"

All of the pent up tension Elizabeth had been holding since Henry's return, was suddenly gone leaving her unable to hold herself upright, she fell back into the couch, limp, and a sob forced its way from her throat. Henry wrapped his arms around his wife, pulling her to his chest. "Babe?"

She clung to his muscular frame, thankful that she didn't have to press the issue. Not only was he willing, but he went on his own. "I'm so glad you went to see someone. How was it? I don't need to know details. Just in general."

"It was good. Just first meeting stuff, but I think it will be good. There are a lot of things that I just can't get out of my head." Henry buried his face in her hair, breathing in her scent.

"I know. Amiriyah and then Al-Fallujah bridge incident, although we weren't technically involved,. I know you were there. Then the others," she murmured.

"How did you know that?" he asked.

"I was on the Middle East desk for six months before they figured out that you were deployed. I read the daily briefings every day. I knew where you were and what you were doing until the day they pulled me off the desk and stuck me in East Africa."

"I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have known that. I can't believe they didn't pull you off sooner," Henry brushed her hair back from her face. "I wish you had been spared that."

Elizabeth studied him. "I wanted to know. I wanted to make sure you were safe. It helped me to know some of the horrors you saw. It made me more accepting of how you were when you came home."

"Beth told me how awful I've been. I truly am sorry. I'm committed to fixing it I don't know what I'll have to do or how long it will take, but I'm going to get us back. Walking out was the dumbest thing I've ever done, and I will never make that mistake again."

She nestled into his chest, feeling more relaxed, than she'd been since before Henry deployed. For the first time in a few months, she thought they would make it.


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Henry smiled as he started to wake up. In recent weeks, he'd been sleeping much better and he woke up well rested. He was just about to roll over into Elizabeth when he felt her hand trail down his chest and land dangerously low on his hip. Without opening his eyes, he rolled into her and pushed his hand under her shirt, his fingers skimming the soft flesh on the underside of her breast.

"Don't start something you don't have time to finish Captain McCord," she murmured. Henry opened one eye and tried to focus on the clock behind Elizabeth's head.

"It's 5:38. Babe, I've got all kinds of time. What do you think about making a baby this morning?"

"If it didn't happen, I think it would be good practice," she murmured, smiling against his neck.

The months had passed and things were much improved. Henry had officially completed his enlistment and retired from the military. He had been accepted to grad school and was getting ready to start classes in a couple weeks. Henry continued to see someone at the VA to help him deal with issues related to his deployment.

Elizabeth and Henry were doing well. Elizabeth felt that essentially they were back to where they were when Henry left. That's why she had brought up the idea of starting a family a couple weeks before. Henry didn't immediately jump on board. He was hesitant to change much when he and Beth were still struggling. Based on his comment this morning, he had warmed up to the idea.

Now, they lay curled against each other, sweaty and breathless. Henry pressed light kisses to her temple and cheek. " Will you think about something for me?" he said softly.

"Mmm hmm, sure," she murmured almost ready to fall back asleep for the few minutes before her alarm went off.

"What do you think about adopting Beth?" Henry asked.

Elizabeth pushed up on her elbow to stare down at him. "Are you serious? You're ready to do that?" she asked. Henry nodded, a little unsure which way her reaction was going to go. "Yes, Henry. We should definitely adopt Beth. I think that will go a long way in healing your relationship with her."

"I hope so. I'll call today and see what we need to do. I've been thinking about it for a long time. I guess I just thought it wasn't really necessary since we've always been there for Beth, but I see that she needs that stability." Elizabeth was leaning over him and Henry was blown away by the love he had for his wife. "Have I told you today that I love you?"

"Not yet, but it's early," Elizabeth whispered.

"I love you," he said and she kissed him hard.

Elizabeth suddenly flopped backward and looked at the clock. "We still have 15 minutes before the alarm goes off. You want to take a shower with me?"

Henry reached over her and shut off her alarm. "Let's go," he said tugging her off the bed. She giggled as he pulled her toward the shower.

That morning, Henry drove Beth to school. They were better, but still not what they once were. Henry was starting to doubt they would ever get to that point again. Still, he made it a point every day to try and connect with her in hopes that one day she would forgive him.

The drive was only fifteen minutes and they made small talk. As Henry pulled up in front of school, he was suddenly struck by something. Beth started to get out of the car when Henry touched her shoulder. "Hey Bethie. I never said thank you."

"I'm too old to be Bethie and thank you for what?" she said, a little thrown off. He hadn't called her Bethie in a long time, not specifically by her choice, but more just something he used less and less until he just quit calling her that altogether. Having not heard it in so long made her feel unsettled.

"I never thanked you for being honest with me when I came back. Looking back on it, even though I am sure Elizabeth thought the same things you did, I don't know that she would've called me to task like you did. I think she would have tried too hard to spare my feelings and I don't know that I would've really got it. Because of you, I saw that I needed help. You saved my marriage. So, thank you."

"Listen, if you ever need someone to call it like I see it, I'm your girl." Beth shot him a lopsided grin. "You can always count on me to tell you when you're being an asshole." Henry shot her a warning look. "So you're welcome." She got out of the car. Sticking her head back in before closing the door, she said, "Just so you know, I miss Henry and Bethie." Beth shut the door and walked into school with a bounce in her step that had been missing for quite a while.

Henry was sitting in front of Elizabeth's building when she walked out with Juliet and Isabelle for lunch. She grinned broadly and broke away from the pair and waved to them. They both waved back, although Isabelle narrowed her eyes at him, which was her usual response. If he ever actually earned Beth's trust back, Isabelle was his next project. He smirked. Elizabeth got in the car. "What's so funny?" she asked.

"Nothing. Just Isabelle hates me," he said, resigned to the fact.

"It's true that she probably isn't a card carrying member of the Henry McCord Fan Club, but she doesn't curse every time she sees you, so you are gaining ground," Elizabeth joked. Henry just sighed and put the car in drive.

Eating lunch with Elizabeth was something he'd started doing to ensure they got a bit of alone time at least a couple times a week. Today, he took her to a garden area nearby her office. "I went to the Division of Family Services office today to see what we needed to do to adopt Beth." Elizabeth leaned across the picnic table, focused on what he was saying. "Our case worker wasn't there, but I spoke to another lady who said that since her parents are dead or unknown and since we've had her for 8 years, the process should be relatively smooth, maybe as little as six months."

"That's great news. What do we need to do?" Elizabeth asked before taking a bite of her sandwich.

"We got this big packet of forms to fill out." Elizabeth furled her lip and rolled her eyes. "But fear not, I filled them all out this morning and there are only a few things you need to do."

"Oh, thank you so much. I didn't think I had it in me to fill out this many forms." She held the packet up. "What do I need to do?" Henry scooted around to sit next to her and flipped through each page, pointing out parts she needed to sign or add information. They were finished in short order.

"I'll take this back in this afternoon before I pick Bethie up," Henry said.

"What's with Bethie? You haven't called her that for quite a while," Elizabeth queried.

"I just decided that it's been too long. She's still my Bethie and she needs to know that," Henry replied.

"I love you so much." Elizabeth leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her. "When should be talk to Beth about it? I mean, I'm sure she'd would want to do it, but I don't think we should just assume."

"Tonight," he said."She has practice until 6?" Elizabeth nodded. "Let's get take out from her favorite Mexican place and ask," Henry said.

At 6, Elizabeth was parked near the soccer practice field waiting to pick up Beth. Beth came trotting over within a few minutes and tossed her things into the back before climbing into the passenger seat. "I thought Henry was picking me up," she said. Beth said it casually, but Elizabeth could see Beth studying her to see if something had happened.

"Beth, baby, everything is fine." She gripped her arm. "And everything will continue to be fine. You don't need to worry. Henry just went to pick up dinner from El Jimador."

"That's my favorite. And I wasn't worried. I was curious," Beth said, nonchalantly.

"And you're a poor liar. Let's go home."

Coincidentally, they met Henry in the parking lot getting ready to head up to the apartment. He shifted the bags to one hand and wrapped an arm around Beth, kissing her forehead. It was the first time in quite a while that he had attempted to physically show his affection. If he'd given it much thought, he might have avoided it, but he was so excited about getting the adoption papers turned in and his interaction with her that morning, that he forgot.

She tensed and he immediately stepped away. "I'm sorry," he said, looking defeated.

"No," she gave him a soft smile. "It's fine. I just wasn't expecting it. I'll take one of those bags." Henry nodded and handed her one of the bags, which made it easier to lean in and kiss Elizabeth's cheek.

"How was the rest of your day?" he asked.

"It was good. Yours?"

"I got everything taken care of." Henry's smile was so genuine that it took Elizabeth's breath away. Beth had the door unlocked and they came in and set their things down. Beth went to take a quick shower.

Henry started toward the kitchen to get the forks and drinks, but Elizabeth caught him by the arm. "Hey, come here." He turned and she was pressed against him, holding his head in her hands. "You're back," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. She kissed him. He held her tight.

"I'm sorry I left," he mumbled into her hair.

"Doesn't matter now," she said, kissing him again. They stayed that way until Beth came out of the bathroom, towel wrapped around her head.

"Would you two stop already? Where are my chimichangas?" Henry stepped away from Elizabeth and returned a moment later and handed Beth a fork and a glass of water. She found her take out box and set up camp on the end of the couch.

"Uh, table?" Elizabeth said, looking at Beth.

"Aw, come on. It TV Tuesday," she said and a smile broke out across Henry's face. They hadn't done TV Tuesday in years. When they lived on the farm, they ate at the table every night except Tuesday. On Tuesdays, they at in the living room watching TV together. Henry looked at Elizabeth expectantly.

"TV Tuesday it is," she said, grinning. "Just so we're all aware, Henry's more excited about it than you are." Henry grabbed his box and plopped down on the couch next to Beth and handed her the remote. Elizabeth watched the two of them talk more easily than they had in months. Things were looking up.

After an hour of TV and the mess from dinner was cleaned up, Beth started toward her room to do her homework. Henry called her back to sit between them on the couch. Once Beth sat down, Elizabeth moved to sit on the edge of the coffee table so she could see them both. "Uh, guys, this is a little scary," Beth joked.

"Bethie, I started out taking you with the plan in the back of my mind that Mom would get better and she and Dad would take you back in a year or two. I quickly saw that that wasn't going to be the case. I prayed that God would give me what I needed to help me do right by you."

"And we got Elizabeth," Beth said. "You're kind of freaking me out here."

"I'm getting there, don't rush me, and you don't need to freak out. Because of the Marines, I missed a lot, but my absence didn't mean I loved you less. There was something that I planned on doing as soon as I got back, but I had some setbacks."

"We call that a snafu," Beth said, which caused both Henry and Elizabeth to laugh.

"Yeah, a pretty big snafu, if we're truthful. I've been working hard to make that right. Elizabeth and I have talked about it and although we've always told you that you never have to worry about where you are going to be, we want to make it official." Henry reached out and took Elizabeth's hand and then Beth's. "Elizabeth and I want to adopt you. Will you be our daughter?"

Beth's eyes grew wide and she just sat there, her eyes moving back and forth between Henry and Elizabeth. "Why now?"

Elizabeth glanced at Henry, who was not expecting that reaction and looked unnerved. "Because, Beth, we want you to know that you never have to worry about having to leave. You'll be stuck with us forever, legally. We love you and we want you to know that you always have a home with us."

Beth stood and walked around for a minute, even stepping outside onto the balcony. Henry and Elizabeth looked at each other, unsure what to do. "I really thought she'd be excited," Elizabeth whispered.

"It's because I left," Henry said, hanging his head. "I should've known she wouldn't' be receptive after I broke her trust.

"You want to talk to her or shall I?" Elizabeth asked. Henry was getting ready to answer when. Beth came back in teary eyed. "Beth?" Elizabeth stood, concern in her voice.

"I'm sorry for walking away. I just wasn't expecting that to happen. I needed a minute." She hugged Elizabeth, then much to Henry's surprise and delight, Beth sat down on his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She rested her head against Henry's. "Being adopted was something that I didn't think would ever happen. I mean, you're already my family."

"Bethie, we love you and have considered you our daughter for a long time. We just didn't think we would be considered stable enough as a family to make it official until after I got out of the Marines. Then I was having some trouble and then we were having some trouble and-" Henry wasn't sure what else to say.

"The point is that we love you and want you to know that you will always have a place here as our oldest child,". Elizabeth said.

"Are you having a baby?" Beth asked, shocked.

Elizabeth shook her head. "Not yet, but we're thinking about it."

"You'll be great parents as long as your kids end up being as great as me," Beth said, grinning.

"You are pretty great. Most of the time," Henry said and then reached to tickle her side. She squirmed and giggled before rolling off his lap to get away.

"I think it's time for ice cream," Elizabeth announced, heading into the kitchen.

Beth held her hand out to Henry to pull him off the couch. "So you're okay with Elizabeth and me as your 'real' parents?" he asked.

"You've always been my real parents, but I suppose having a piece of paper legally requiring you to put up with me couldn't hurt." Henry wrapped his arm around Beth's shoulders and pulled her in for a hug.

MSMSMSMSMSMS

"Are you ready?" Elizabeth asked Beth as their names were called.

Beth grinned at her. "I could ask you the same thing." Beth stood and she and Henry both offered a hand to Elizabeth, helping to pull her up from the wooden bench outside the courtroom.

The three led the way down the aisle followed by the extended McCord family, Will, Isabelle, Juliet, and the Martins, who were kind enough to bring Sarah as well.

"This is a fine looking bunch of people you've brought with you today, young lady" the judge said.

"They clean up pretty well, Judge Hoffman," Beth said, reading the nameplate near his seat. "But don't let their good looks fool you. They're crazy I tell ya!" she giggled.

Elizabeth and Henry both gave her the look and Will shouted from two rows back, "You aren't supposed to tell him that until after he signs the papers!" Everyone had a good laugh.

"Mary," the judge started.

"It's Beth, sir. I go by Beth," she said confidently.

"Yes, Beth. You understand what is about to happen today?"

"Yes sir. I'm going to be adopted."

"And you understand what it means to be adopted?" He smiled at her. "You see, these are all questions that I need to ask, but I have a notion that you are well aware."

Beth smiled widely. "It means that Henry and Elizabeth will become my legal parents and I, their child. And I'll be a sister," she added, placing her hand on Elizabeth's rather pronounced baby bump, which Elizabeth promptly covered with her own.

The judged grinned, "I can see that. Congratulations. How far along are you?" he asked Elizabeth.

"38 weeks, Your Honor."

"Well then I had better get this show on the road," he chuckled. "Mr. and Mrs. McCord, do you fully understand the responsibilities of becoming a parent to Mary Elizabeth McCord? You agree to provide care and a loving home for her?"

They looked at each other and laced their fingers together. "We do."

'And Mary. Sorry-Beth. Do you willingly agree to become the daughter of Henry and Elizabeth McCord?"

"Yes sir, I do."

"Well then, I think all I need to do is sign this one. He lowered his eyes, scratching his name on the sheet of paper. "And this one, and we're done. I officially pronounce you Mary Elizabeth McCord, which doesn't meant much because that was already your name." Everyone laughed. "This case is officially closed, Beth, do you want to hit the gavel?"

"Absolutely! Henry and Elizabeth both laughed because Beth sounded like she was seven years old again, excited for a new adventure. "Excuse me," she said to Henry, who stepped back and let her pass. Beth rounded the oak table and walked up the steps of the judge's bench. "Thank you, Your Honor," she said, extending her hand. He smiled and shook it then handed her the gavel, which she whacked soundly against the block it rested on. She looked at him. "That," she said, "Is probably reason enough to become a judge."

He laughed heartily. "Some days it is. Now, are there pictures to be taken?" Erin seized her opportunity and herded everyone together for a handful of photos. The crowd started to scatter a bit, leaving Beth standing between Henry and Elizabeth. They stepped outside into the hallway.

Elizabeth reached into her purse and pulled out three letters. "Are we ready for these?" she asked.

"I'm never ready for them," Henry said softly, earning him a uncharitable look from Beth. "It's just a sad reminder that Mom isn't here to tell me herself, that's all."

"I know, but Grandma always knows just what to say," Beth said, leaning into Henry.

Henry took Elizabeth's hand and helped her sit and she gave them each their letters from Ann. Henry and Elizabeth's each were labeled "On Beth's Adoption Day" and Beth's read, "When Henry and Elizabeth Adopt You." They sat quietly, each reading the words of wisdom that Ann left for them. Beth folded hers back up and slipped it into the envelope, before tucking it away into her purse. She wiped a stray tear from her eye and looked up catching Elizabeth doing the same thing.

Elizabeth looked over at Beth and leaned in to kiss her cheek. "Did you think that when you beamed me in the face with a ball almost nine years ago, that it would end up like this?"

Beth laughed, "Not at all. It's so much better than I could have ever hoped."

"I second that," Henry added, hugging Beth. "We've come a long way." Henry helped Elizabeth to stand.

Beth looked at them both and suddenly realized that she didn't have an Uncle Henry and Elizabeth anymore. There were both happy and sad feelings associated with the transition. She chose to embrace it fully. "Mom, Dad, let's go eat! I'm sure everyone is waiting and I see chimichangas in my future." They laughed. She took them both by the hand and they walked out of the courthouse together.

AN: This concludes my story. I hope you enjoyed it. I want to thank everyone for all of the kind reviews. I know that it's sometimes hard to come up with anything that you think might make a good review. For the record, I'm cool with "that didn't suck" as a review. Of course if you could elaborate, that would be great, but if not, I tell my kids all the time that beggars can't be choosers. Now if you think it did suck, feel free to say that too, but I would expect you tell me why (so next time I fix it and it doesn't suck-obviously).

For those that are sad that it ended, I am entertaining the idea of doing a snippet piece featuring Ann's letters as one shots. Let me know if you think I should.

Also, I am going to finish Evolution and then start another multi-chapter fic. However, I'm not going to post any of the new fic until it is completed. I do plan to throw out a few fluffy one shots as needed, and maybe Ann's letters, so I won't be completely gone. I'll just be not as present. Please feel free to chat with me here or on Tumblr (same name).


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